Friday, April 17, 2009

BREAKING: Courtney Love's Crazy Tweets

(image via theinsider)

God -- and Buddha, Wotan and Voldemort -- bless Courtney Love and her crazy, batshit Tweets. They sustain me. There is a quickening in The Corsair's blogging heart every time "courtneylover79" files a Tweet, breathless. Oh it's on, we say to ourselves in a solemn whisper when faced with a "courtneylover" tweet, it's on like Gray Poupon!

One can almost hear the cracked laughter and wheezy nicotine stained raspiness that is Courtney's voice behind the jerky, disjointed text. Every day, around this time, the prickly rock star Tweets on everything under the sun from her bath routine to her famous friends to her fucked up money problems. It is almost as if she ditched the head nurse at some tony left coast psychiatric institute for wayward celebrities long enough to sling a Tweet (Dry cough suggesting feigned detachment).

This time we need your help. We can read some French, a little Lain and Less Greek -- but we cannot make heads or tails of what Love is saying. Email you best answers to: Today gem Tweets:

"Now i have to shavethose leggies of mine, my whole life i was never dysmor[hoc, the opposie. 192 lbs? no prob, ilook HOT! then omg what a COMEUPPANCE, that gain was from macrofood, i figured Trude, Gwyneth KPaltrow Martin and even the wouldvbe gyn teacher ...Also you can give all your friends that you like or love producer credits like candy? I HEART THE BEAR! the Roths have a Crest, its got BIG CAJONES too. hmm Coachella what sja;;l i wear? i found a guy who simply Pleats, he does fortuny , knife, any dammed pleat there is!"

Surely, she jests. Any help in translating this would be greatly appreciated ...

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