Using U2 For Their "Sweet Political Ass"



(image via arthouse.ru)

U2, the rock band -- against Bono's wishes -- is a political cash cow for ambitious Baby Boomer politicians, providing, in equal parts, generational chic, power and cold hard campaign cheddar. U2 presents the ultimate rock-and-politics connection -- for both parties; ironically: U2= "you too?" (Averted Gaze). We don't want to call U2 "politically slutty" because, well, we object strongly to the term "slut." (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) It strikes us as an overly judgmental call. We prefer the term ... "charitable." (A considerable pause)

Ubersexual Bono has the best intentions, of course (The Corsair pours himself a glass of 1811 Chateau D'Yquem, with "gout de terre"). Being a non-affiliated political rocker/poet is a complicated business, you see; the political breakers must be navigated with extraordinary finesse. (The Corsair sips gingerly) Being seen as overly partisan can result in negative publicity for oneself and ultimately affect one's own financial bottom line (for further instruction on the former and not the latter, see: Rolling Stones, "Sweet Neocon"). Also, being seen as overly partisan hinders one's effectiveness with the opposition party, especially if they own the three branches of government, thus negating any chance of furthering the message in the corridors of power.

A smart political player, Bono has steered clear of being overly identified with a single political party (Think: The quixotic friendship with the noxious Jesse Helms and the affable Paul O'Neill). As a result of this "political promiscuity," Bono has become -- even with the best of intentions -- something of a political slut. Everyone in DC is having a turn at his sweet political ass, getting their "jollies," so to speak. (Averted Gaze) According to Jonathan E. Kaplan of TheHill:

"The Irish rock band U2 is doing its best to disassociate itself from members of Congress�s plans to use the group�s 2005 world tour to raise money, but the band remains a political cash cow.Debt AIDs Trade Africa (DATA), an advocacy group founded by U2�s lead singer, Bono, issued a statement last week separating the band from any political activity that might take place at its concerts after some media outlets continued misreporting a story that Sen. Rick Santorum and U2 had teamed up for a $1,000-a-seat concert in Philadelphia on Sunday. The stories reported that Santorum and others were buying private skyboxes and selling the seats to donors.

�'Those are privately held boxes and nothing to do with DATA or the band. We often have no idea what [lawmakers are] doing. � This is not anything that DATA is involved in, and it�s not an issue for DATA,' said Tom Hart, the director of government affairs for Bono�s advocacy group in response to questions about lawmakers� using U2�s concerts to raise money for their reelection campaigns even though they might disagree with Bono�s policy positions."

Still, that hasn't stopped a stream of politicians of both parties from taking their liberties with Bono's sweet political piece of ass for fundraisers, including -- drumroll, please: Republican Rep. Mary Bono, Democrat Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, Republican Sen. John Thune, Democrat Sen. Byron Dorgan and Republican Senator John Ensign, among others.

Charmed, I'm sure.