(image via melanie flood)
Does a person's profession influence their language patterns? As a Gemini, we are concerned with such suchness. It comes as no surprise to learn that Atoosa Rubenstein, the bosomy editor of Seventeen ("she's got stacks like the International House of Pancakes"), speaks fluent teenagese. (Averted Gaze) She speaks that language, unfortunately, even when out of earshot of that species (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). According to the salmon-colored weekly:
"Ms. Rubenstein speaks in a childish drawl, with sentences that spike up in pitch toward the end, and has retained the slightly awkward body language of the gangly teenager she once was: growing up Iranian-American on Long Island, lonely and awkward, 'an outsider,' which led to an almost religious obsession with teenage magazines. 'I wish I could reach back to that girl, because that girl was sad,' she said. 'That�s what gives me my purpose.' At age 19, she visited a psychic, who predicted that young Atoosa would have a big media career. 'I do feel like it�s my destiny,' Ms. Rubenstein said.
"... By the time Hearst itself acquired Seventeen in 2003, the magazine was badly ailing: its graphics and photography muted and muddy, its glory days of Brooke Shields layouts and fat, peppy back-to-school issues but a distant memory.
�'With CosmoGirl!, I built my dream house, you know?'"
�...'With Seventeen, it was a totally different project, in that I inherited this magnificent estate, in the best location possible; however, it was in complete disarray. It was trashed. I mean, before we could even redecorate or renovate, we had to clean, you know?'"
We know, Atoosa ... we know. (Averted Gaze) But give us some more of that 33-year-old-woman-doing-a-teenage-voice, cause it's "fire;" only this time (The Corsair pours himself a glass of tawney Madeira) ... call us "Daddy" (Observer)
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