Friday, July 30, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Elizabeth Jagger, according to British Vogue, which says:

"ELIZABETH JAGGER was spied this week popping into her local Waterstones to pick up a copy of the bright pink and, much to her apparent embarrassment, therefore difficult to disguise book The Intimate History Of The Orgasm. Lucky old Sean Lennon."

Looks like she inherited more than just the lips, no?

Out: Damon Dash. Can he hang? Doubtful (Averted gaze). According to the 3AM Girls, Dash can't score the digits, even with an entourage of man-mountains to give his cred. This is the saddest story that I have ever heard:

"Our spy in West End nightspot Aura reveals: 'Damon was in the VIP area with his huge entourage when he spotted a girl he really fancied.

"'He sent one of his flunkies over to approach her on his behalf. He duly obeyed and told the girl that Damon requested the pleasure of her company. She seemed to think it was quite amusing. She looked over at Damon and giggled before politely turning him down.'

"'(The lady's date had) been at the bar buying drinks but had seen what was going on. It's fair to say he was the possessive type,' our on-site mole discloses.

"He went over to one of Damon's man-mountains and started kicking off, saying: 'Don't you f***ing come near my girl.' Club security had to intervene to stop the situation escalating."

Like I said: Dash. Can't. Hang.

Mixed: Katie Couric. We can't yet tell if she's in or out these days because there were conflicting reports of the elvin Today Show host at the Convention. According to The Boston Globe, Katie got a little nook-nook:

"NBC morning gal Katie Couric and Red Sox chairman Tom Werner had lunch at Via Matta and were spied yesterday holding hands as they walked to the Public Garden."

Which is cute and all, but then, according to the excellent Rush and Molloy, the pendulum swung:

"Katie Couric has made extreme sacrifices for the sake of her craft, but this week at the convention marked a new low: Security officers confiscated the hairspray from her stylist's bag. Never fear - we're sure Couric's perkiness will prevail."

The verdict? Mixed.

In: Estates in New Jersey. New Jersey is the new black; no, wait, I already said entourages were, so, like, Estates in Jersey are the new, uhm, Mini Motorcycle, yeah, that's it. P Diddy just bought one. According to Newsday:

"Hip-hop star and entrepreneur Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs has purchased a 21-room Bergen County mansion for more than $10 million. Combs bought the 17,000-square-foot home in Alpine from financier Mark Arzoomanian. The brick colonial home is set on 3.5 acres with a gated, tree-lined driveway that winds to a circular courtyard.

"The home has three bedroom suites with sitting rooms, five additional bedrooms with private baths and a six-car garage. It also has an outdoor pool with a waterfall and separate spa; a movie theater; tennis, racquetball and basketball courts; a wine cellar, and a 700-gallon aquarium."

That's still less than half the size of the 35,000 square foot Saddle River, New Jersey mansion of Russell Simmons. Not that we're counting, or anything: I'm just sayin'.

New Jersey has a lot to be proud of: Bon Jovi, Whitney, Undrinkable Post Apocalyptic Water, Mike Tyson ... uhm, scratch Tyson, because .... he's ...

Out: Mike Tyson. After tearing through $40 million, he's back, he's broke, and here's what he has to say for himself:

"'I cannot dwell on the past. Most of my past was not euphoric,' said Tyson during a Wednesday press conference. 'The future seems so much brighter than the past. The layoff between fights has not been fun. I have been miserable with myself. My professional life is going great now, though my personal life stinks (laughing). I do not have anyone. I am alone.'

The Corsair plays "All by Myself" by Eric Carr on a boombox, and holds it aloft like Lloyd Dobler in "Say Anything."

"'I am very appreciative of the response and reception I have received from Louisville. It is a little embarrassing and humbling,' added Tyson, who claims to be in financial trouble. 'I have trained hard. I did not train for a short fight. I am ready.'"

In: Alessandra Ambrosio. According to Fashionweekdaily: "Members of the press and passersby alike were in no need of caffeine yesterday morning, thanks to a jolt provided by the scantily-clad Victoria�s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio. Donning little more than a white miniskirt and fitted tank top with the word 'Pink' written across the front, the model strutted from a white H2 Hummer in sky-high pink stilettos to introduce the company�s new collection of lingerie and sleepwear."

Out: The Gina Lee Swollen Tape, according to Lindsayism, "Just a tip - when the guy says 'I'm gonna make MILLIONS' it's probably time to destroy the tape."

Or the girl, Lindsay; somewhere out there, most probably in Southeast Asia, making the rounds, is an incriminating, athletic Corsair smut tape made while he attended a private liberal arts college in Vermont.

They're just waiting for me to become famous so they can release it, to bring a brother down.

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