A Little of the Old In and Out

In: It's homecoming for the New York Times' Cathy Horyn, according to WWD's Miles Socha, it's all now, apparently, de-lovely between her and de Helmut:

"The Helmut Lang men�s show in Paris on Sunday represented a homecoming of sorts for Cathy Horyn. Since October 2002, the designer has barred The New York Times critics from his shows, saying he simply didn�t like the paper�s point of view on fashion. Meanwhile, Horyn � who has described Lang�s women�s clothes as heavy, overthought and gimmicky in the past � said she was 'thrilled' to receive an invitation. 'Two years is a long time. Too long,' she said. Horyn is expected to review Lang�s show in a report on the Paris men�s shows today."

Too long ... yes (pensive), women have said the same of The Corsair (The Corsair modestly averts his gaze and gives a Sphynx-like smile, arranging himself, elegantly, in three-quarter profile as the light catches a sly twinkle in his intelligent eyes as he tilts his head back and lets out a soft chuckle).

Out: Lunkheaded Joey Tribbianni. Apparently the pilot episode of NBC's Joey has been leaked on the web. That's bad. As a Corsair, a pirate, however, I feel the need to alert you ("Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum") about this booty. And, not that I advocate anything of the sort, but a good place to look -- if you go in for that sort of thing (averted gaze), and I most certainly (feigned cough) don't -- might be the FriendsCafe. But I'm not into that whole downloading of pilot episodes. Besides, true believers, I'll bet there are still no black people. Even on the website purporting to have the pilot download. Whatever.

In: The New York Post. Not since that quixotic Dewey Beat Truman photo, as the Post's detractors would have you believe, has there been a more egregious error in reporting; rise up journos, fight, rise up Alec Baldwin, rise up all those luminaries who have been pummelled by the Post! Sheesh: Lighten up, guys, it's the summer; air out those shortpants; they made a mistake, actual human beings edit the Post, and, on the evening of a national holiday, boo boos are made. And sure, this morning I was also "bewildered" (god, I love that word) about how a conservative leaning paper, such as the Alexander Hamilton's Post, could gain such inside scoop into the Kerry thought process that neither NPR nor Air America had access to, they made a boo boo. Smile. Hold on to the copies, they are sure to become historical curios for media geeks, like us; hold up your copy proudly against your TV sets when Howie Kurtz does the inevitable Reliable Sources on the subject this Sunday upcoming. I still have love for you, NY Post. Or maybe I'm just kissing ass here on a galactic scale.

Out: M. Night Shyamalan is trying to hide his own secrets, according to Rush and Molloy today:

"The filmmakers say that, after hunting down childhood friends and neighbors, they uncovered what they called a 'pivotal event' in the life of the reclusive director, who was born in India and grew up in suburban Philadelphia.

"(Nathaniel)Kahn and (Callum)Greene say their subject grew upset by their questions and, after walking out of an interview, called in his lawyers to try to shut down the project.

"Originally slated to air last fall, it's now set for broadcast July 18.

"An ongoing legal struggle prevents the filmmakers from revealing Shyamalan's hidden past until then.

"'There's one secret that's surrounded by others,' Greene tells (Rush and Molloy). 'We felt that we were finding breadcrumbs through this forest and we followed them.'"

The Corsair shivers.

"Shyamalan's rep didn't return a call."

The Corsair shudders.

In: British Vogue has already swooped down on diva-in-training, Wimbeldon winner, Maria Sharapova, the coolest 17-year old in the world; I wish she's let some of the "cool dust" that covers her blow my way:

"MARIA SHARAPOVA may have only just hit the celebrity big time, but she's already proved herself worthy of fashion note. The 17-year-old Wimbledon winner had Louis Vuitton open especially for her on Sunday so that she could choose an outfit for the Champions' Dinner in the evening. While she was there, she chose a red mini skirt and pink top to wear while watching Roger Federer conquer Andy Roddick in the men's final, and for the evening she accessorised a cream chiffon and satin evening dress with jewelled shoes, a turquoise Theda evening bag and chandelier earrings. '[She] is an absolute advertiser's dream,' PR expert Max Clifford said of Sharapova, who has vowed to buy herself a silver Porsche and her parents a BMW each with her ($ 1,025,000) prize money. 'In 10 years, she could earn ($183 million). It is the kind of rags to riches story we love.'"

Pardon me, Allegra, But: When is she legal again?

Out: Jessica Alba and Derek Jeter, according to that significant cultural artifact Star Magazine:

"New York Yankee Derek Jeter is hitting it big with Honey actress Jessica Alba. The baseball captain, 30, hooked up with the hotter-than-hot actress on June 18 at Hollywood's Spider Club, where they partied until 1 a.m.

"The next day, the couple spent most of the evening paired up at Hollywood's XES club at a corner table. 'She was touching him, flirting with him and totally batting her eyes at him,' says an eyewitness. Once again, the pair stayed until the early morning hours -- leaving separately only to reunite at his black SUV in the parking lot. After two dates with Alba, 23, Jeter's Yankees lost two out of three games to the L.A. Dodgers. Hmm, too many late nights, Derek?

"A source tells Star that the couple rendezvoused the last time the Yanks were in California to play the Anaheim Angels in May. 'Jessica picked up Derek in her car after each game,' says the source. 'They stayed at the Hilton Anaheim, and they were always making out in the hallways.'

So, I'm playa hating. So what? Alba is so hott, it's outrageous; how was I supposed to know that shorty was serious about the restraining order. Jeter beat me to it. Alba likes her black men rich, cafe au lait, and unsung in the blogosphere, or so it would appear. Her loss. Jessica ... call me?