Tuesday, July 20, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out
 
In: Polo, baby, polo (The Corsair repeats, sotto voce, one more time, with solemnity in his tone and salt in his game, he whispers: "Po-lo").  That's not teen spirit in the air, true believers, it's horse-musk; horse musk, freshly manicured grounds, and the sounds of soft chuckling, as the specially-imported South American players (the second South American import of choice) roam the night in search of a little of the old in and out. It's summer, playboy, which means, quite frankly, that Polo is so very "in" among the chubby, sweaty, shortfingered Hamptons vulgarians who tend to look not unlike Harvey Weinstein, and graze annually, with the slow certitude of apex predators,  at their favorite watering holes in the Hamptons; they dine, of course,  on the lean, juicy and tender meat of fashion models. (The Corsair puts on his urban anthropolgist's gear, grabs a tropical butterfly net, and sets to work) Fashionweekdaily assesses the talent in the room:
 
"The crowds consensus of the sixth-annual Bridgehampton Polo event was that it was a more laid back, mellower scene than in years past. Granted even without an SLR in attendance?there was no lack of flash, thanks to the dozens of other high-priced Benzes parked on the fields, the Zino platinum cigars many gentlemen and even a few women were seen puffing on, and the last-minute arrival of a statuesque and pregnant Stephanie Seymour (hubby Peter Brant, who owns Interview magazine, is also the VP of the Bridgehampton Polo Club). The afternoons mistress of ceremonies, Jessica Alba, who flew to the Hamptons via helicopter, arrived wearing a floral chiffon Jil Sander dress, Christian Louboutin peep-toe sandals, and a white Louis Vuitton Suhali bag, accessorized with a pink diamond cross she designed herself and a 20-karat heart-shaped ring from Jacob the Jeweler. 'This is my first time in the Hamptons,' said Alba, who spent most of her time in the VIP tent. 'It feels just like Connecticut, but more laid back.'"
 
Okay, okay, so she's not sophisticated -- she's still very pretty and she dresses nice. 
 
Out: Badgely Mishka. According to British Vogue, despite the fact that Badgely Mishka has annual retail sales of $40 million a year, and Charlotte from Sex and the City wore their dress to her wedding:

"MARK BADGLEY and James Mischka announced this week that they would not be producing a spring/summer 2005 collection, having failed to find funding for it. The star design duo, who launched their label 16 years ago after meeting at Parsons School of Design, initially financed Badgley Mischka themselves with family money. In 1992, they sold an estimated 80 per cent of the business to Escada. However, as part of the cost-cutting initiative that it launched in 2001, the German fashion giant has admitted that it is no longer willing to come up with the ($927,000) that it costs to produce a collection of Badgley Mischka exquisitely embroidered evening dresses. The label was put up for sale last October and, despite several companies having shown interest, the designers said jointly yesterday that 'an agreement has not been finalised thus far and funding is therefore not available for a spring/summer collection.'" 
  
This is a Tragedy. I covered the tents during Fall Fashion Week in 2000 for a small consumer publication, and Badgley Mishka, by far, blew me away; nothing came close to their excellence. The Corsair, a fan of beautiful things, sincerely hopes that the show will go on at Badgley Mishka, purveyor of stunning swishy things.
 
In: Winona Ryder, or, in the words of Kentucky-born fellow waif Johnny Depp's tatoo, "Wino Forever."According to AFlyonthewall a strange Winona scene unfolded:
 
"The other night, diners at Beverly Hills restaurant Kate Mantilini were treated to a bizarre, impromptu performance by convicted thief Winona Ryder. Ryder was eating quietly with two young women who had the twitchy, skittish appearance of personal assistants."
 
The Corsair softly chuckles. 

"Toward the end of their meal, however, Ryder loudly began demanding that one of the young women 'give it to me!' After a few minutes of noisy Ryder histrionics, according to eyewitnesses, one of the young women reluctantly handed a cellular phone to the actress. Ryder then made an immediate beeline for the ladies' room. A few minutes later, diners heard Ryder screaming and crying loudly as she pleaded with someone named Ricky on the phone in the john. 'No, no, no, Ricky, you promised!' Ryder wailed repeatedly. Several curious female diners made their way to the restroom, where they found Ryder squatting on the bathroom floor moaning into the cellphone. When Ryder saw that she had an appreciative audience, however, she began screaming obscenities at the women and locked herself in the bathroom. About ten minutes later, a smudgy-eyed Ryder quickly exited the john and out a restaurant side door, then climbed into an arriving limousine. Her female dining companions were left to pick up the check. Coincidentally, Kate Mantilini is right down the street from the scene of Ryder's department store thieving performance. While Ryder has been known to credit bizarre public behavior in the past to 'research for a part,' she's not presently working. She was slated to shoot Oskur Fishman this summer with Ben Kingsley, but financing fell apart at the last minute. Ryder finished filming A Scanner Darkly in June, a Richard Linklater adaptation of the Philip K. Dick novel."
 
Out: Chad Lowe; that poor fucker, as if it isn't bad enough that Rob got all the looks and acting talent, and you got stuck with the unremarkable name, "Chad," dooming you from the start to a life of mediocrity, and, finally, directing some low grade piece of ass tv show called,  Hack. ( A reptilian gleam alights The Corsair's eyes) But according to NY Daily News' Lloyd Grove (2nd item), Chad  is using his wife's juice -- again (Averted gaze):
 
"Soho House is, like, so last year. But, as Chad Lowe learned the hard way, it's still not any easier to get inside.

"Lowdown hears that the 36-year-old actor - better known as Rob's younger brother and Hilary Swank's hubby - showed up at the ultra-exclusive, British-accented club on Saturday and attempted entry with a group of friends.

"When the young women at the front desk couldn't locate his name in the member database, Lowe told them, 'I'm about to be a member in a week.' But after a bit of back-and-forth, it became clear that he had never even submitted an application. 'Er, can I just apply now?'
No dice: Soho House aspirants must be nominated by two members in good standing before submitting their application to a strict committee, which meets just once every three months.
Which left Lowe with Plan C: Hinting that if the club let him in, his wife would begin making frequent Soho House cameos. Alas, even that didn't work, so finally Lowe and his posse were forced to slink away.
 
" ... The New York Times recently reported that when Lowe's assistant was unsuccessful in reserving a table at the fully booked West Village restaurant Hue, he sniffed, 'That's a shame, because his wife, Academy Award-winner Hilary Swank, is very hungry.'"
 
So pathetic.
 
In: The National Enquirer's ultra-trashy, horrible, excessive, raw sewage of a journalistic expose on Britney Spears' "roots." Here's a taste (guaranteed, you'll have to take a looong, cold shower after reading this one, kids):
 
"Superstar Britney Spears' erratic behavior has been generating headlines for nearly a year, but she's one of the most stable individuals in her family!

"Britney has a dark family secret -- two of her uncles are ex-cons with long rap sheets for crimes in three states, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively from court records.

"While Britney has amassed a fortune living the glamorous life, one of her uncles is known as 'Road Kill Willie' because sources say he likes to scoop up critters that have been hit by cars and cook them for dinner!

"Road Kill Willie has been busted for burglary, drug distribution and being a deadbeat dad, according to court records. He is the brother of Britney's father Jamie.
 
"... Britney's other uncle, June Spears, has been charged with assault with a deadly weapon, driving under the influence and beating his wife, say court records.

"Sources close to the family tell The ENQUIRER that Britney avoids her uncles whenever she goes home to Kentwood, La. (And she never dines with Road Kill Willie!)"
 
"... Willie spends most of the time living in tents and camper trailers or sleeping in cars.

"'Until recently, Willie was living in an 18-foot trailer on a riverbank outside of Kentwood,' said the insider. 'But Willie got hard up for cash and ended up selling his trailer for $60.

"These days he sleeps in his van or stays with friends. 'June lives about the same way as Willie, squatting anywhere he can.'
 
"Britney's dad sometimes gives Road Kill Willie, 46, and June, 41, work with his construction company, said a source. But the source said the pair fight so much, one of them usually has to go."
 
Read here if you want the 411 on the restraining orders, the DUI's, the spousal abuses and the public intoxication charges filed against the "possum eatin' kinfolk"  who share Britney's DNA signature.
 
Out: According to Hello! Magazine, Brad buys Jennifer Aniston Liz Taylor's yacht:
 
"Brad Pitt has bought his wife Jennifer Aniston a piece of Hollywood history - the yacht once owned by Richard Burton and silver screen goddess Elizabeth Taylor.The 165ft Kalizma was originally purchased by Richard Burton in 1967, when he wanted to congratulate Liz on her Oscar for Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?. The couple named it after their three children together, Kate, Liza and Marie."
 
"... (Richard Burton) paid $148,000 when he bought the yacht, but it is reported to set Brad back by a staggering ($5,500.000). With enough room to sleep ten people and a crew of eight, it features an antique-furnished dining-room, four-poster beds and artworks by Picasso, Monet and Van Gogh."  
  
Thus forever negating any future, "but there so down to earth" lines.
 
InQuadruplets. According to Reuters:
"Pop star Michael Jackson, facing a trial on child molestation charges, is about to become a father to four more children -- quadruplets -- by way of a surrogate mother, Us Weekly magazine reported on Tuesday.

"Citing unnamed sources close to the self-proclaimed 'King of Pop,' the magazine said Jackson recently spent time with the pregnant mother-to-be in Florida, where he stayed in a $4,000-a-night luxury hotel suite in Miami Beach. "

Oh, dear.
 
Out: Sandy, you got some 'splainin to do. Stupid ass Sandy Berger, former National Security Advisor, may have "borrowed" classified documents relating the the 911 Commission; says Fox (link via Drudgie Poo):
 
"Sandy Berger is under scrutiny by the Justice Department following the disappearance of documents he was reviewing at the National Archives.

"Berger's home and office were searched earlier this year by FBI agents armed with warrants after the former Clinton adviser voluntarily returned some sensitive documents to the National Archives and admitted he also removed handwritten notes he had made while reviewing the sensitive documents.

"However, some drafts of a sensitive after-action report on the Clinton administration's handling of Al Qaeda terror threats during the December 1999 millennium celebration are still missing, officials and lawyers said. Officials said the missing documents also identified America's terror vulnerabilities at airports to seaports.

"Berger and his lawyer said Monday night he knowingly removed the handwritten notes by placing them in his jacket, pants and socks, and also inadvertently took copies of actual classified documents in a leather portfolio." 
  
Democrats are actually supporting him
  
 
In: The Best of The Corsair

       



 



































2 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL "road kill willie"? are u kidding!!!!! -Casey

Ron said...

Casey, I couldn't believe it myself. I also was unaware that a trailer can be sold for $60. LOL!