In: The Romantic Lives of Presidential (and Presidential Candidates') Children. Yes, yes, yes, we are curious about Jenna and Barbara and Chris and, of course, we have more than a passing fancy in the choices Those Fabulous Kerry Sisters make, who, according to Page Six, are too hot to handle, having moved on from The Affleck -- yesterday's news, over to bigger game, namely, John Cusack, the man who won't talk to The Post:
"Both of presidential nominee John Kerry's daughters, Alexandra, 30, and Vanessa, 27, seem to have the hots for John Cusack. After Alexandra was seen sharing cigarettes and some kisses with the actor on a bench outside 15 Beacon in Boston, a jealous Vanessa came out and tried to steal him away. A staffer at the restaurant told PAGE SIX that the blond Vanessa tried to sit between her sister and Cusack and was rebuffed, so she sat on the other side of Cusack and chatted with them for a few minutes. Meanwhile, the reason the party was so packed was that both sisters insisted that 35 guests not on the list be let in."
Why are these girls so free with their kisses and why arent I on the receiving end? Or http://www.whatevs.org. Why don't bloggers get respect?
According to Rush and Molloy, Vanessa, just a couple of days ago, was seen kissing up on The Affleck, not once, but twice (The Corsair crosses himself and fashions a scarlet letter), and, mirabile dictu, "he didn't resist."
Oh, John Cusack, resist ... resist!
My guess if that this is all an elaborate plot to sabotage the insurgent Cusack for President campaign with incriminating photos.
Out: Nic Cage Weds Sushi Waitress. MSNBC reports:
"Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage has married for the third time.
The 'Leaving Las Vegas' star wed 20-year-old Alice Kim on Friday at a private ceremony on a ranch in Northern California, publicist Annett Wolf told The Associated Press.
"It is the third wedding for Cage, 40, who split with his previous wife Lisa Marie Presley after less than four months in 2002 (Ed Note: Nic almost -- impetuously, like the Aquarius that he is -- remarried her). Before that, he was married for six years to actress Patricia Arquette.
"Kim, a former sushi waitress, met Cage when the actor visited the Los Angeles restaurant where she worked. This is her first marriage."
Hmmm. Three wives; not a solid track record. Odds are he will be Gone in 60 Days, back on the road. We hope he gets back to his edgier indie fare. And his comic book collection.
In: Kelly Ripa is becoming quite the household Hampton's name, of late. The perky milf is gaining mindshare in the tony Hamptons, according to Fashionweekdaily, people are talking:
"First off, and what is sure to be talked about for weeks, is the seventh-annual Super Saturday hosted by Donna Karan, Kelly Ripa, and In Style?s Charla Lawhon, taking place at Nova?s Ark Project in Water Mill. Expected fashion industry guests include Karan herself, Vogue?s Virginia Smith, Perry Ellis? Patrick Robinson, Coach?s Reed Krakoff, Lulu Guinness, Vera Wang, Aerin Lauder, and Stefani Greenfield."
Then there's that juicy New York Post item:
"The crowd at Russell Simmons' Rush Philanthropic Arts Foundation benefit began ignoring the main fund-raising portion of the evening on Saturday by either talking loudly or refusing to bid.
"'Everybody shut up a little bit and reach into your pockets deep. That's why we're here, to raise some money,' said live auctioneer Chevy Chase upon starting.
"But the chatter went on and the offers continued to flatline and Chase grew increasingly irate. Finally, a fed-up Simmons grabbed one of the microphones onstage, looked into the eyes of the well-heeled crowd and delivered a stinging message:
"'The basis of your life is what you give ? and life gives to the givers and takes from the takers,' he said. 'All of those who have success and can't share are not really rich.'
"Then, waddaya know, the next round of bidding for a 2.5-carat Hello Kitty diamond pendant ? designed by Russell's wife, Kimora Lee ? became fierce. The opening bid of $5,000 quickly zipped to $20,000 with the pendant finally secured by Mark Consuelos, the husband of host Kelly Ripa.
"'Oh, you are going to be rewarded tonight,' Ripa told her hubby."
The Corsair, quite frankly, wonders when Ripa has time to breathe, to digest food, or even to in between Reeg, the kids, the husband, Hope and Faith, the Jimmy Choos, and now, a budding career as a Hampton's socialite and party host. We like Ripa, who is as ambitious as she is overwhelmingly cute.
Out: Nick Carter, lunkhead, ex boy bander. Paris Hilton has launched a major -- if covert -- little PR war against Nick Carter, according to the Post's Paula Froelich:
"A bruised and battered Paris Hilton is telling pals ex-boyfriend Nick Carter hit her, leaving the ugly marks on her face and arms.
"In photos, Hilton has an obviously swollen lip and bruises up and down both arms.
"She has said the bruising came in Los Angeles Monday evening, after she and Carter joined pal Amanda Demme at the Argyle Hotel, where Demme throws a weekly party.
"'They were dirty dancing together,' said one Argyle spy. 'They were very lovey-dovey, staring into each other's eyes. We all thought they were back together.'
"But after Hilton and the ex-Backstreet Boy left the Argyle to party at another club, Joseph's, the mood turned sour.
"'Nick wanted to leave, Paris didn't,' said a Hilton pal, adding, 'Nick forced Paris to leave, he made her get in a cab with him.'
"Hilton alleges to friends Carter later lost his temper.
"Friends say Hilton is 'scared to death.'
"The pal added: 'He has major anger-management issues . . . We have seen bruises on her before and asked her about them. She has always denied it ? until now.'"
In: Chris Heinz, the red hot bachelor and man-about-town, the new JFK, Jr. According to Fashionweekdaily, he is slated to attend the Mercedes-Benz Polo Challenge, week 3, hosted by the Hilton family (Paris, Darling Nikki, Kathy and Rick Hilton are hosting, pooling their collective well-knowness in an act of strength; we wouldn't suggest you take the opportunity to corner Paris and ask if indeed it is true that Nick Carter physically assaulted her during their stormy on-again, off again relationship). Of all the Heinz clan, Chris is the most out there, and, of course, the ladies take notice.
Out: Mike Tyson. The AP sums it up nicely:
"A comeback born out of financial desperation didn't go past the fourth round Friday night when an unheralded British heavyweight by the name of Danny Williams knocked Tyson out with a savagery that may have once and for all exposed Tyson as a shot fighter."
Of course, Tyson, unlike Ali, likes to "party" while training. Anyhoo, it's time for Tyson to retire from boxing, and approach Viacom Executives about doing a BET Reality Series, called Like Mike, chronicling your life. And cut me in for a taste, as I came up with the idea.
If you are into blood sports, this is the best analysis of how Tyson could get back in the game.
Out: I like Roger Friedman, he's a great gossip columnist, but he made a glaring mistake the other day that Fox News hasn't corrected when giving his report backstage at the Democratic Convention in Boston:
"... One heart-stoppingly strange moment came when former Clinton secretary of state Janet Reno attempted to come down the stairs close to where the New York delegation was sitting, only to be met by the ascending Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs, who was wearing his 'Vote or Die' T-shirt, and seemed to be interviewing people for MTV.
"'He probably thought she was Will Ferrell in drag,' one onlooker quipped."
Reno was, of course, the Attorney General of the United States, Madeline Albright was at State.
In: Stereogum on John Water's new homage to Baltimore, "head injuries and sex-addicts in blue-collar Baltimore." I never thought Selma Blair could ever be so ... busty.