A Little of the Old In and Out on a Very Slow Saturday Afternoon news day
In: I'm not even going to try and compete with Wonkette's compendium of the Democratic National Convention parties. Just go there if you are going to be in Boston for the convention, she'll tell you where to go. And email me if you attend the Jillian's pool hall party with B'Affleck, or the clambake with Ted Kennedy.
Out: Naomi Campbell, playing the diva, yet again, according to the 3AM Girls, on Poor Unsuspecting Italian Playboy #743 (If Deniro likes his women like he likes his coffee, then Naomi likes her men like she likes her, uhm, sausage):
"Naomi, 34, was enjoying the company of Formula One boss Flavio Briatore aboard his liner Lady In Blue II.
"The pair, who rekindled their on-off romance in April, were anchored off Porto Cervo in Sardinia.
"But it seems forgetful Flavio, 54, didn't inform Naomi that he had invited her ex-lover aboard."
The Corsair reaches for a bag of unsalted popcorn and leaps on to his sofa in a fluid cat-like move.
"According to witnesses, the supermodel looked less than impressed when fashion tycoon Marzotto and his girlfriend, blonde actress/singer Serena Autieri, embarked.
"'Naomi just flipped,' says our nautical source. 'She started swearing at Matteo and what she said to Serena isn't repeatable. Fortunately, Serena doesn't understand a word of English.'
"Italian stallion Marzotto, 36, was with Naomi for eight months before he dumped her earlier this year."
"But it seems Naomi's wounds haven't healed yet. According to sources, Flavio stood by while his lover did what she does best - finger pointing and shouting.
"'Matteo tried to defend himself but he didn't have much luck,' a spy told Italy's Panorama magazine.
"His mum, who was also aboard, doesn't care much for Serena and likes Naomi a lot, so she joined in as well.
The Corsair groans for Matteo, poor guy:
"'It was a right old argument.
"It was difficult to know what exactly wound Naomi up but it was probably the green-eyed monster,' says the source.
"In the end, Matteo and Serena fled, and were soon followed by Naomi. Poor Flavio was left aboard to rue his mistake."
"... (Campbell) has since (her breakup with Matteo) found comfort back in the arms of wealthy womaniser Briatore
"... The multi-millionaire playboy certainly likes his models. In February, he split from gorgeous Heidi Klum, who gave birth to their child three months later."
Now that's a spicy meatball!
In: Bill Maher Real Time. Staring Friday, July 30 at 11 pm, Season 2 begins of the most irreverent political talk show of them all (sorry, Jon Stewart, lately you've been a little frat boy in your humor; you need to get some color on your writing staff, dood, Harvard Lampoon guys lack ethnic edge). Whether you are Libertarian (Bill Maher is), Conservative(roughly half the guests are), Moderate (The Corsair is), or a Lefty, this show, which can, at times, become rather violent in rhetoric, is, perhaps, the wittiest show with the fastest minds on television. Every political side gets their shot at a bon mot, a quip, or a zinger. When ABC bounced Maher for his stupid 9/11 comments, they created a free-speech monster.
If Howard Stern were more bitter and more politically intelligent it would be this show.
Out: Melissa and Joan Rivers' Red Carpet Treatment, at least for one year, will be on haitus. As Lindsay Robertson might say: Yaay.
As everyone knows, Tinseltown is all about the lawsuits, and the brinkmandship of the helmers and studio heads, and who blinks first. Well, the Washington Post Boldface Names column notes:
"The folks at E! Entertainment Television may have lost two of their big personalities, Joan and Melissa Rivers, to a rumored $6 million to $8 million contract with the TV Guide Channel, but they're getting a good chuckle out of the fact that the mother-daughter duo's prime mission -- the Emmy Awards red carpet coverage -- is a no-go for their new employer. It seems that E! has exclusive rights to the carpet show before the Sept. 19 Emmy telecast.
"That means television stars get a one-night-only pass to stroll the red carpet without being pounced on by the two sharp-tongued fashion police (one of whom routinely botches stars' names). E!'s coverage contract runs through 2005, which leaves TV Guide and Joan and Melissa out of luck but not hope. 'We'd absolutely like to be covering the Emmys, and we'll continue to explore all of our options,' says Chris Levesque, spokeswoman for Gemstar-TV Guide International, which owns the TV Guide Channel."
The TV Guide Channel sure are suckers for not having periphery vision. This gives E! two years to get, oh, say, Howard Stern and Ana Nicole-Smith, or somesuch other catty-outrageous duo, to replace Joan and Melissa and totally hose TV Guide Channel with an newer, more outrageous brand.