Lionel Ritchie and Lenny Kravitz: Kicking Ass and Taking Names

According to the 3 AM Girls, affable pop balladeer Lionel Ritchie and his more hard edged, "aromatic" hombre, Lenny Kravitz came to the UK to chew bubblegum and kick ass; and guess what? -- they are all out of bubblegum:

"FORGET about Spider-Man and his superhero pals... there's a new crime-fighting duo in town.

"Swanky nightclub Chinawhite was on the verge of descending into a frenzy of flying fists on Monday night.

"But, before World War Three could break out, in swooped a couple of unlikely heroes to save the day.

"So, which mild-mannered celebrities saved a naughty record exec from a savage beating?

"None other than Lionel 'The Rocket' Richie and laid-back lothario Lenny 'The Loins' Kravitz."

The Corsair shouts over the cheering crowd, "It's On!!! It's On Like Gray Poupon!!"

"Our spy at the West End venue said: 'Trouble started when a man approached this record exec and accused him of making a move on his girlfriend. He was furious. He reckoned the exec had been getting hot and heavy with his other half.

"'Who knows if it was true or not, but he seemed convinced.

"'He was devastated.'"

The Corsair grabs some unsalted popcorn and is riveted to the screen.

"According to our source the furious guy landed a couple of nasty punches on his love rival, including a belter to his beak."

"'Kerpow!! Like a latter-day Batman and Robin we hear (Lionel Ritchie and Lenny Kravitz) kicked the troublemaker straight into touch."

No-fucking-way; how cool is that?

Ed Note: Due to work commitments, no blog tomorrow.