Howard Stern, or Howard K. Stern?



Boo hoo.

Are you entirely skanked out by the whole greasy-sweet-smelling Anna Nicole Smith aftermath yet? No? No medicinally tasting Satrean Nausee ensorcelling you're head like a nimbus of smarm? We kind of dry-heaved just a little when that Swabian-accented and thoroughly louche oily pseudo-royal (Eew), that husband of Zsa-Zsa, claimed -- claimed! -- to have made the beast with two backs with Anna, who, heartbreakingly, wanted to upgrade her own unfortunate beginnings. Heraldica.org writes, re "That Husband of Zsa-Zsa":

"Those persons who claim nobility through adoption or purchase, such as the notorious Claus von Bülow, the Nazi foreign minister von Ribbentrop, or Zsa-Zsa Gabor's husband who uses a Saxon princely title, are not recognized as part of the historical nobility and are no more members of that class than anyone else claiming a status to which they are not entitled. Most such persons are essentially deluding themselves while trying to fool others."

Today, the self-proclaimed "King of all Media" Howard A. Stern distanced himself aggressively from the bottom-feeding ex husband of the recently deceased Anna Nicole Smith, Howard K. Stern. Stern, on-air, decided he wouyld like to be known as "The Howard," an idea he evidently picked up from that short-fingered vulgarian, Donald Trump.

Corey Deitz notes 11 major differences between the Sterns, including Howard Stern as "Considered the father of modern shock radio," while Howard K. Stern is, "listed as father of Anna Nicole Smith’s 5 month old daughter, Dannielynn."

And, more importantly, Howard Stern, "Wrote the book, 'Private Parts,'" while Howard K. Stern, "Claims to have used 'private parts' on Anna Nicole Smith." These are important distinctions to be made (More here).

Who's the Babydaddy? Thankfully, modern science and DNA technology will allow us, eventually, to get a solid answer. Unfortunately, the internet will allow Ana Nicole's child, when she comes of age, to fully realize the sordidness surrounding her mother's death. Let's hope her inheritance -- whatever it ultimately metastasizes as -- that the wealth gives her shelter from the storm.