"Lindsay Lohan is a Total Snob"

That significant cultural artifact Star Magazine tells us that the raspy-voiced teen hearthrob Lindsay Lohan is letting all the fame go to her head (and not, contrary to beliefs aired on TMFTML, her chest):

"'Lindsay was a total snob,' says a source on the Canadian set of her latest and most excellent flick, Mean Girls. 'She thinks she's as famous as Britney Spears. She treated the crew members like they were her personal servants, commanding them to grab her drinks.' Lindsay's natural naughtiness helped her land the part, reveals an executive with Paramount Pictures. '[Mean Girls writer] Tina Fey wanted a star like Drew Barrymore, but Lindsay nailed it on the first audition,' the source says. 'Everyone knew she was right for the role.'"

"But sources say Lindsay's stardom has gone to her head. A fashion stylist who recently worked with Lindsay on a magazine shoot tells Star, 'She would take clothes off the racks and if she didn't like something, she would just throw it on the floor. She is by far the most difficult star I've styled.'"

Okay, leaving aside the fact that said precvious speaker used the word "style" as a verb, there is something strangely fascinating about teen superstars and how they behave. I have a touch of the amateur sociologist about me (one could argue, frankly, that this is the primary focus of the blog), and the psychology of how a teenager behaves when the world gives them its full attention and they are liberated from family need and from financial worry, is ... intriguing (rubs hands together and chuckles like mad scientist).

Thank you Star Magazine, for answering my prayers with empirical data. Lindsay Lohan is our lab monkey (no, TMFTML, lab monkey, not love monkey):

"While filming Mean Girls, the talented (Ed. Note: The Corsair softly chuckled when he read the word 'talented' in reference to Lohan) 17-year-old singer/actress reportedly scrambled to cover up a messy car accident she got into while illegally driving around in a rented $100,000 Mercedes. Lohan reportedly tried to sneak the damaged vehicle into a repair shop, but got caught.

"And recently, Lindsay reportedly tried to pick up Colin Farrell on the Paramount lot. After eyeing each other, Lohan supposedly offered Farrell her phone number -- but he declined the minor's offer (Ed note. Lohan is under 18). Her reps deny it, but Farrell has mysteriously not commented."

The Corsair Lab Notes (scribbling furiously): Rich, famous teenagers will cover up illegal car wrecks and initiate unlawful sexual encounters with other, older hearthrobs.

"Then there is Lindsay's feud with her archrival Hilary Duff, 16.The starlets are said to have first battled over 16-year-old singer Aaron Carter, who was dating Lohan, but reportedly started two-timing with Duff behind Lohan's back. Lohan was said to be furious.

"The pair have also become increasingly competitive for lead roles. Even after Lindsay was cast in Mean Girls, a source says Hilary's manager-mom Susan was calling to get an audition for Hilary. 'Too bad. She was never even a consideration!'"

The Corsair Lab Notes: Child actor manager-parents are stupid asses.

"These days, one of Lindsay's friends tells Star that the teen feels her star shines much brighter than Duff's (who's best known for Disney's Lizzie McGuire), and now has a few films and an album in the works. 'Lindsay doesn't care about any of this. There is no competition on her part.' However, in an apparent copycat career move, Lindsay is also recording her own debut album, which some say is another attempt to steal Duff's thunder.

Adds the source on Mean Girls, 'Lindsay has a major attitude problem. She'd better watch her behavior or she's going to make even more enemies.'"

The Corsair lab notes conclude: Teenagers plus fame plus fortune equals picklehead.