Tuesday, May 25, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: African-American chicks. Adrien Brody, it appears, has a -- how does one say it? -- Deniroesque appreciation for the dusky hued goddess. First, there was that uproarious kiss of Halle Barre, now, the sexiest skank in the world, Naomi Campbell. Apparently Brody and Campbell left together arm in arm to the casbah. I think this officially makes Naomi the female version of Tommy Lee; but that doesn't make her a bad person.

Out: I see white people. Once agin, Our favorite Upper East Side social diary shows us that, yes, indeed, Doris Duke had duskily complected "best pals." (Ed Note: We actually like David Patrick Columbia -- deeply -- and hope our healthy dose of irony is appreciated in the friendly jesting manner in which it is offered up). It's just too funny to resist. My bad.

In: According to Ananova, via Variety, the Sex and The City movie will not happen, at least not at the present:

"According to Variety, Kim, who played Samantha Jones in the series, felt she couldn't commit to the film as no script had surfaced.

"The film was due to be written and directed by Michael Patrick King.

"'She would have loved to have done the movie and made a deal to do the movie, but waited as long as possible with no script or start date and felt she had to take other offers that were presented to her after the hold period had passed,' Cattrall spokeswoman Marvet Britto said.

"'Kim would of course love to do the film and would be happy to revisit the project in the future.'

"Variety adds that other reasons could have come into play, such as Cattrall wanting script approval and to earn the same amount as Sarah Jessica Parker."

(The Corsair whistles silently, grabs a box of salt-free popcorn, then sits rapt to his screen)

"HBO was unwilling to consider replacing Cattrall, or to go through the time and effort of developing a script without her firm commitment."

Oh, it's on like Gray Poupon!

Out: Auctioning Celebrity Medical Records. I know, this sounds like some horrible apocalyptic end-of-civilized-democracy shit, but it is real, baby pop. It looks like there will not be an auction for the actual birth records of Bruce Springsteen. According to TheSmokinggun.com:

"Days after The Smoking Gun disclosed the attempted sale of Bruce Springsteen's medical records, the Leland's auction house has turned over the confidential material to the rock star after being contacted by The Boss's lawyers. Leland's spokesman Marty Appel said that the firm was approached by the 'Springsteen camp' after TSG reported on the auction, and was asked to hand over the documents. The auction house complied, Appel said, because 'we're such great admirers of Springsteen.' We're guessing that the prospect of litigation probably also figured in the auctioneer's swift change of heart. The hospital documents (and another item carrying the singer's Social Security number) were apparently yanked from the firm's web site some time today."

In other Springsteen news, don't knock me over in a rush to Tower Records, but the Boss' wife Patty Scialfa's album goes on sale later this summer.

(The Corsair notes the sound of cicadas in the quiet spring breeze)

In: Lindsay Lohan's Scar Tissue? According to Gawker, via LiquidGeneration, Lindsay Lohan had breast implants at the tender age of 17 because she allegedly has scar tissue. You be the judge. Here. The always excellent Michael Musto writes today:

"I hear that a recent Saturday Night Live after-bash there was highlighted by the machinations of former host LINDSAY LOHAN, the greedy little vixen who's already had AARON CARTER and chased COLIN FARRELL, and he's only about 40! Lohan was caught squealing, 'Where's Jimmy? Where's JIMMY FALLON?' with a sense of determination not seen since the OLSEN TWINS first grabbed for menstrual pads. Observers feel either she's had him or she wanted to have him�and sheesh, haven't we all in our more sensible moments? Alas, Fallon wasn't there, so the big-boobed starlet got to work trying to reach him on his cell phone�again, haven't we all?�and, being both a moral citizen and a college graduate, I don't even want to know what happened next."

Lohan sounds like Paris Hilton.

Out: The Brittany Murphy Crezzy Watch. She so cray-zee. Who will go crazy first: Brittney Murphy, she of the big brown crazy eyes, or Sadie Frost, she of the angry/sad face?

I'm betting on Murphy, because according to Page Six:

"BRITTANY Murphy and top talent manager Jeff Kwatinetz have officially entered Splitsville. The Tinseltown twosome, who have been engaged for a year, called it quits after a 'bad' trip to Paris a few weeks ago. Kwatinetz is the one who called off the wedding, said our source, who claimed Kwatinetz is 'still in love' with his ex, Michelle Dupont, who's now dating Adrien Brody. To make thing even more awkward, both Murphy and Brody are represented by Kwatinetz's company, The Firm."

Wait a second ... didn't Adrien Brody just ... never mind.

Anyhoo: Crazy girl plus public breakup equals nervous breakdown. We predict Brittany Murphy should have some kind of meltdown by Labor Day. With those big crazy eyes.

In: My pal Casey is so in. Want to hear the history of a relationship New York-style? Check it out, pepper, you won't be disappointed.

Out: Keith Blanchard at Maxim. According to Adweek, Felix Dennis is looking for a new editor up at Maxim. Our guess: How about Jenna Jameson? No? Okay.

In: A Day in the life of Ludwig Heissmeyer, Assistant Designer, Carolina Herrera (didn't Solzenitzin write that?), at Fashionweekdaily:

"1:00pm: On my way back to the office I stop at Pret a Manger for lunch. I love French food. I decide on a crawfish sandwich accompanied by tomato and mozzarella and a delicious chocolate chip cookie�ok, make that two. I take it to the office where I join my lovely co-workers for a well-deserved break."

By the way, isn't Carolina Herrera the hottest older woman you've ever seen? Elegant in that jet set older woman way. And you know Gemini men like me are attracted to older, sophisticated lassies, you know, like the type who can whisper sexy phrases in your ear in seven languages.

I know, I'm such a Gemini.

Out: Michael Musto could never be out, but he may be "outing" someone at Fox:

"... As for the folks who think we're doing great in Iraq, is it possible that one�well, at least one�of the right-wing maniacs on the Fox News Channel is 'fairy and unbalanced'? The Washington Blade's KEVIN NAFF just wrote an editorial saying that on a recent visit to a New York gay bar, one of that channel's anchors got a wee bit tipsy and hit on him Lindsay Lohan-style. Naff responded by telling the sauced star that he's not single, and besides he would never date anyone in the closet. (Same here�I won't take anyone out unless he's already out.) Spies tell me the guy in question is the one who said 'blowjob' on the air and was recently linked to NICOLE KIDMAN. How poetic! Maybe gay bo�tes should start 'Closeted Only' nights, with half-price poppers bottle service."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You're the man Ron. Oh I forgot, you already knew that ;)