Neil Strauss and Courtney: On Picking Up The Skanks

Former boytoy/walker of The Gray Lady, Neil Strauss, a low grade piece of ass, to be sure, has some rather acute comments on his general desireability in his infamous New York Times Sunday Styles piece on picking up skanks, which, sure enough, augurs prophetic in his new houseguest the embattled Court Love:

"Though I am not bald, to say that my hair is thinning would be an understatement. I have indentations on either side of my forehead, which I like and believe add character to my face, though I've never actually received a compliment on them. When I look down at my pale, skinny body, I wonder why any woman would want to sleep next to it, let alone embrace it."

(Averted Gaze) Anyhoo: This paragon of manliness -- an Hyperion to a Satyr --left The Gray Lady to concentrate on wifey #2, A Young Blond Skank, namely, the porn star Jenna Jameson's biography, which he is "co-writing" (note to Jenna: Better practice the alphabet in your soup, dear); Strauss is also scheduled (anrily grabs The Cutty Sark), if that is le mot juste, to guest appear in a porn movie, he will be fully clothed, a nurse. You can imagine the Gray Lady loved that idea.

But it was not until our intrepid journalist/rock critic, our Everyman, our Siddhartha, entered an underground community known as "the community," that his luck with the ladies began to change, his personal philosophy turned inward, intensified. He begins his Odyssey thusly:

Strauss: "Type 'seduction' or 'how to meet women' into a search, and you will find hundreds of sites trying to part you from your money. But the lucky few, able to wade through enticements to 'meet models now,' may find one of the free Usenet groups, Internet mailing lists or message boards where hundreds of men labor day and night to turn the art of seduction into an exact science."

The Corsair Simultaneous Translator: If a geek like Francis Bacon can come up with the scientific method, surely someone has come up with pimpology 101 for geeks.

Strauss: "From New York to London to Croatia � places my reporting took me � many of these men meet off line in groups known as lairs to discuss tactics and techniques before going out to bars and clubs to put their theories to practice."

The Corsair Simultaneous Translator: The Old Gray Lady was my first ho.

Strauss: "It is a world with its own jargon (A.F.C., for example, denotes an Average Frustrated Chump, P.U.A. a Pickup Artist) and luminaries known by pseudonyms like Mystery, Juggler and Formhandle. Those who manage to earn the respect of their peers through online postings or real-world prowess can make money writing e-books or running workshops."

The Corsair Simutaneous Translator: The He Man Woman-Haters Club will come to order. First things first: nicknames. Now, who wants to be Maverick?

Strauss: "This has given birth to a seduction industry marketed almost entirely through online newsgroups and mailing lists. Some have turned it into a full-time career with six-figure incomes, others into a lucrative sideline allowing them to collect a few thousand dollars here and there."

The Corsair Simultaneous Translator: This, true believer, is the story of how I got Court Love to live with me.

Strauss: "My real-life entry into the community began when I took on a pseudonym and withdrew $500 from the bank, stuffed it into an envelope and wrote 'Mystery' on the front � not the proudest moment of my life."

"I took the envelope to the lobby of the Roosevelt Hollywood hotel, where I found myself waiting with two other students (one had flown in from Australia, the other from Canada) who, like me, had arranged to spend four nights on the town with Mystery, one of the most admired men in the world of seduction. Born Erik von Markovik, Mystery is known for spitting out long, detailed posts that read like algorithms of how to engineer social situations to meet and attract women."

The Corsair Simultaneous Translator: Yes, you were indeed correct. The geeks in math class were dangerous and creepy.

Strauss: "In detailing his social life online, he has single-handedly invented much of the jargon and tactics that men around the world are using to meet women.

"The 'neg,' for example, is his invention. Neither a compliment nor an insult, a neg holds two purposes: to momentarily lower a woman's self-esteem and to suggest an intriguing disinterest. ('Nice nails. Are they real? No? Oh, they look nice anyway.') Mystery cautions online, however, that negging is only for exceptionally beautiful women used to a steady stream of compliments."

The Corsair Siumultaneous Translator: It's all based on "an adaptation of neurolinguistic programming, a school of hypnosis holding that one can communicate with the subconscious through seemingly normal conversation." Hey Court, silly dress, silly girl. Hey, why don't you come move in with me?