Black Eyed Peasy: A VERY SPECIAL CORSAIR

According to that significant cultural artifact The National Enquirer, Ashton Kutscher tried to punk the band The Blackeyed Peas and he himself ... was Punk'd.

The Enquirer says:

"The practical joke started innocently enough with the Peas being invited to a party at a Hollywood Hills mansion.

"But when group members, with the offbeat names will.i.am, apl.de.ap and Taboo, arrived they saw couples retiring to bedrooms in the mansion.

"Just as the 'Punk'd' pranksters planned, the Peas and their entourage found themselves in the middle of a brothel party with high-priced call girls.

(The Corsair grabs a handful of salt-free popcorn, and becomes riveted to the screen)

"'Band member will.i.am was an accomplice in the prank,' said an eyewitness. 'But the rest of the band and their entourage became suspicious.'

"Just then a team of seven phony vice cops rushed in from all directions. Some of the band members tried to explain it was a big misunderstanding, but the Peas' pleas fell on deaf ears."

(The Corsair makes an inaudible whistle)

" ... And then all hell broke lose."

(The Corsair jumps up and down shouting: 'It's on like Gray Poupon!')

""When one of the cops acted like he was going to slap the cuffs on will.i.am, one of his friends punched a cop in the jaw, which sent him flying backwards and into the pool," said the eyewitness.

"Then, the guy tackled another one of the prop-cops and they both went tumbling into the pool!"

"The 'Punk'd' crew members hurriedly tried to explain that it was just a joke -- but nobody was laughing.

"Usually at this point Ashton comes out of hiding and lets the celebrity in on the prank, but a spokesman said the actor was away on location for a movie.

"It's just as well. The Black Eyed Peas quickly left because tensions were so high, said the eyewitness.

"'If they had stayed, it probably would have led to a full-fledged brawl between the band and the Punk'd crew.'"

The Corsair is 'away on location for a shoot.'