A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Stolen Demi-Ashton pics ... I'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet aint got no rhythm. Anyhoo: Enough about me; lets talk Kutcher. Soon to make the rounds of your favorite Not-Safe-For-Work internet sites (cue to the sleazy neon lights and cheap ass sax solo) are the forbidden love photos of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher that were allegedly filched, according to The Sun:

"FILM beauty Demi Moore is devastated after discovering that X-rated snaps of her and toyboy lover Ashton Kutcher have been stolen.

"The pictures were on a laptop nicked from the Hollywood Hills home of Ashton�s friend Adam Goldberg.

"The couple are worried that the images will appear on the internet like heiress Paris Hilton�s infamous sex video.

"A police spokesman said the photos were of Ashton, 26, and 41-year-old Demi in 'compromising positions.'"

We'll glance over the British use of 'nicked,' which has always rubbed me the wrong way, like Benny Hill, which, to me, is just one more reason to hate the British (let me not get started on the term 'cheeky,'). Wonderful to relate, though, true believer, is that The Corsair, too, keeps intimate photos of himself and his various toygirls on the laptop at of fellow blogger TMFTML. Ashton and Demi, combined, prolly share a solitary, but pretty brain cell and on that day, it was in joint custody. The Corsair erupts: Pickleheads!

Out: The oily Vanity Fair Editor Graydon Carter, slithers into the out column this week. According to Graydon Carter's Vanity Fair, the Entertainment industry is so very alabaster indeed that African-Americans have failed to grace the cover of said august institution for years ... years.

Because we all know that Gretchen Moll is hotter than Prince.

So, having vented thusly (deep cleansing breath), it comes as no surprise to The Corsair that his ethics are being called into question. He was rather conveniently paid a staggering $100,000 "finders fee" (Russian wink, Nigerian nod) for suggesting to Universal Pictures that Sylvia Nasser's 'A Beautiful Mind be made into a film:

"'Vanity Fair has been blurring the lines for some time,' said Cynthia Gorney, associate dean of the Graduate School of Journalism at the University of California, Berkeley. 'But there is something particularly distressing about the nice round figure of $100,000 and the fact that it directly lined Mr. Carter's pocket.'"

Indeed (The Corsair gloats), his Turnbull and Asser suit must have been specially tailored to manage all that loot (The Corsair struts, vindicated). We all know, of course, that in Hollywood, studios throw money at anyone who mentions an idea (The Corsair is now all puffed up and self-satisfied). Of course, (The Corsair puffs a Montecristo cigar) Ron Howard has been lavished with praise (wink wink) by Vanity Fair as a result.

Well, you have to hand it to Graydon Carter, this is a particularly inventive, possitively Nigerian way to get graft by using his position in the world.

In: Scott's stereogum chronicles the Coppertone motif from ad to Magazine cover, as Carmen Electra takes over where Jim ("Voices") Carrey left off, namely, on an exposed moon.

Out: Russell and Kimora, possibly-maybe on the out. We'll have to wait for the next New York Magazine. According to Fashionweekdaily, "Writer Phoebe Eaton is doing a piece on Baby Phat 'designer' Kimora Lee Simmons for New York magazine."

Phoebe Eaton is a hottie. That's apropos of nothing, I just wanted to let my feelings on the subject be out there. ( ... call me Phoebe?)

In: Sidney Blumenthal is partisan to the nth degree, but he is also a smart cookie, and he makes a strong argument this week against the neoconservative star in DC, which shines less brightly these days. In his column for The Guardian he writes:

"Under Bush, the team of Cheney and Rumsfeld spread across the top rungs of government, drawing staff from the neoconservative cabal and infusing their rightwing temperaments with ideological imperatives. The unvarnished will to power took on a veneer of ideas and idealism. Iraq was not a case of vengeance or power, but the cause of democracy and human rights.

"The fate of the neoconservative project depends on Rumsfeld's job. If he were to go, so would his deputy, the neoconservative Robespierre, Paul Wolfowitz. Also threatened would be the cadres who stovepiped the disinformation that neoconservative darling Ahmed Chalabi used to manipulate public opinion before the war. In his Senate testimony last week, Rumsfeld explained that the government asking the press not to report Abu Ghraib 'is not against our principles. It is not suppression of the news.' War is peace."

We miss you, Bill, we honestly miss you ...

Out: Oh, snap, Dany Levy, possibly the cutest, petitest online writers gets a bit of a beating at the hands of the evil geniuses at Lowculture today:

"Either Dany Levy�s minions are easily fascinated or they should think about changing their meds. Daily Candy, Levy's digest of overpriced baubles and prime evidence of why Americans deserve to be hated ..."

Low culture is so good, and yet so evil, like Rocky III's Clubber Lang ... we like.

In: Sometimes I feel like Haley Joel Osment ... I see white people. (The Corsair sends special thug love to socialite Topsy Taylor, and kudos to NY Social Diary's David Patrick Columbia, who we suspect, will see the humor in this)

Out: My friends Lola and Patti and the always excellent Dman (hey Casey and Michael) from Papermag.com's message board came up with the clever line: 'Dude, Where's My Couture?'

How right they are, as according to British Vogue:

"PARIS will be a poorer place come Couture Week. Both PARIS will be a poorer place come Couture Week. Both Emanuel Ungaro and Donatella Versace have announced that they are bowing out of fashion's most exclusive week, which is set to run from July 6 - 9. The news follows Givenchy's announcement this week that it would not present a couture catwalk show, as it had not yet replaced Julien Macdonald, as well as rumours that Valentino may not be showing either. Pierre Berge, Yves Saint Laurent's long-time partner, says this is simply a continuation of a trend begun by YSL himself, followed by the likes of Thierry Mugler, Louis Feraud, Lanvin and Nina Ricci. 'I'm sure others will follow,' he told Women's Wear Daily. 'I've always said that the couture would die with Yves Saint Laurent. Now it's a domino effect. The couture has lost its raison d'etre. Couture isn't art. It's not meant to be hung in a closet like a painting. The women who wore couture no longer exist, the art de vivre that spawned couture has died. If houses such as Chanel and Dior one day get proof that they can sell as many bags and fragrances without a couture show, they'll stop couture, too."

In: Miu Von Furstenberg, we love. Perhaps someday my blog and Miu's blog will get married, and beautiful mocha colored blogs will ensue. Miu is on the left coast, causing mayhem:

"I'm in LA, so of course one must visit Fred Segal. A trip to Fred Segal usually entails a celebrity sighting, although with my luck it's usually the minor ones. Once again, FS doesn't disappoint. Of course I drag along my good friend Nicky Getty.

"Since this is LA, I must purchase something white, so I go with a little white cocktail dress from Gucci (Robi is taking my later this week for my first spray on tan so I won't look like a ghost). It seems every third woman in LA is wearing white; it's quite disarming. While I'm making the purchase, I spot Milla Jovovich."

The Corsair grabs some salt-free popcorn and is riveted to the screen.

"I'm never one who has a problem engaging in banter with a celebrity. I of course to the obligatory,

"Miu: 'Are you Milla Jovovich?'

"Milla: While not directly looking at me, she answers, 'Yes I am.'

The Corsair mouths the words: 'It's-on-like-Grey-Poupon!' and pumps his fist wildly in the air.

"Miu: While racking my brain trying to come up with a film she was in, I blurt out - 'You were the best part of The Fifth Element.' (Knowing for a fact that Chris Tucker was, but I wasn't talking to Chris Tucker.)

"Milla: She smiles, and says 'Thank you.'

"Miu: She obviously knows I just lied to her. But of course I press on. 'Are you ever going to record another CD? I really love your singing voice.'

The Corsair cringes.

"Milla: 'No. I'm sorry, I don't have time for this.'

"Miu: So the loving her singing voice comment threw her over the edge. No one to back down, I slightly shout as she's walking away 'Any chance for a sequel to Joan Arc?'

The Corsair is crushing so hard on Miu's gutsiness.

"Milla: She turns her head briefly and I believe mouthed the word 'Bitch.'

"So I guess we will never know if there will be a sequel to The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc. I turned around to sign the receipt for my purchase, and the saleswoman was just staring at me. I said, 'Well at least I didn't ask for an autograph.'"

It's Miu's world, I just blog in it.

Out: The Administration. Even Republicans are mad at Bush, notes Jonathan E. Kaplan of TheHill.com:

"Republicans on the Hill are so frustrated with the White House that when Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) criticized the administration at a House GOP meeting last week, the caucus burst into applause.

"The meeting was only the latest sign in an accumulating body of evidence that lawmakers are unhappy with the way the administration treats them.

"One GOP lawmaker at the caucus meeting said Hastert 'expressed outright dismay with the White House staff for the way the transportation bill had been handled. They did not give the priority necessary to the issue in resolving it as the Speaker had wanted. It�s in absolute limbo.'

"A rank-and-file lawmaker said: 'Hastert was frustrated and disappointed that he had not been dealt with openly and fairly and given accurate information. He was not so much speaking to the conference as he was speaking for the conference.'"