A Little of the Old In and Out

In: This has got to be the whitest entry in David Patrick Columbia's Social Diary. Ever. Hilarious. Wake up, white people! (Ed note. We at The Corsair love to read our friend DP Columbia's NY Diary, but we wish our friend would do more non-Upper East Side events.)

Out: Senator Al Franken? (link via Wonkette) Sure, he's arrogant and geeky, but could he be the next Senator from the state of Minnesota? According to the USA Today:

"'I've thought about it and discussed it with my family more,' Franken told The Associated Press Saturday, before attending the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner here. The only holdout, he said, is his 19-year-old son Joe, who is worried he'll see less of his father.

"Franken, over a bite at a Thai restaurant (he ordered tom yum goong soup with shrimp and seafood salad), also said he's happy with the direction of his new radio show, 'The O'Franken Factor,' despite unenthusiastic early reviews."

Well, if I may shed the fedora natural to a snarky blogger covering the LA-NY-DC power circuit for a moment, and only a moment, and don the Darth Vaderesque mantle of seedy political wonk-advisor, Al: lose the yum goong soup. Fast. You are running in Minnesota against Senator Norm Coleman: Mr. Apple fucking pie Americana. That chow is too eastern seaboard elite-internationalist -- go in for some Pillsbury Cookies made with Land O Lake butter, my little soupbone, or, better yet, pot luck. Now, that's Minnesota cuisine at it's most inedible. Thems good eats. Stick to the mild humor, Al, leave the heavy lifting to the professionals.

In: The Indian fashion industry. Mark my words, my crystal ball is clear: 2004 will be the year of India. Indian culture is hott. Bollywood rocks. And their curry-hott fashion market is about to blow up:

"Raghavendra Rathore, the designer from the royal family of Jodhpur in the desert state of Rajasthan, known for its vibrant colors and rich embellishments, said every designer was trying to work out that perfect combination of inspirational designs, financial management and marketing savvy.

"'The bubble is about to burst and one or two of the designers will really make it. Very soon you will see,' said Rathore.

"Fashion experts and industry insiders say it is only a matter of time before one of the top 50 makes that elusive breakthrough and becomes an international style icon.

"'People are dying, itching to see that one perfect combination,' Rathore told Reuters on the sidelines of Fashion Week on Wednesday. 'It's a matter of time, stars and the moon to align themselves when the time is right.'

(and while we're on fashion, a little plug for our pal Ivy Supersonic, a force of nature)

Out: Al Gore to buy NWI?! According to Wonkette, Al Gore will announce the purchase of the excellent under-the-radar international news channel NWI. Damn. No doubt Al will fuck this up just like 2000. There goes the fucking neighborhood. And I really loved my Canadian News with dinner. *sigh*Seriously, I'm not joking

In: Arnold sues. According to TheSmokingGun, The Governator has sued the company that made the bobblehead doll of him. Bad move, Ex Lax. Blame it on the dodgy horse hormaone to human hormone ratio in Shwarzenegger's blodstream, but this lawsuit is only going to fly back in his face. As the cats at theSmokingGun explain:

"The Schwarzenegger doll, which went on sale about a month ago, is one of several bobbleheads featuring politicians that the Ohio firm sells (John Kerry, Wesley Clark, and Howard Dean also retail for $19.99, while George W. Bush would only set you back $14.95). The bobblehead company contends that since Schwarzenegger is now an elected official, his image is public domain."

But try to explain that to Arnie, who is campaigning so hard for the Republican nomination in 2008, what, with trips to Jordan, Israel and Germany, that he is neglecting that self-deprocating humor element of his political persona. It's a crucial part of any politician, Arnie. Shheeessh. Nazi-kids have no sense of humor.

Out: Tanorexic Teens. According to the LA.com blog, "Sun-kissed California teens may have to catch their rays all natural if lawmaker Joe Nation (D-San Rafael) gets his way. Nation introduced a bill, which was amended on April 22, banning teens under 18 from using tanning beds."

But what about the orange teens? What happens when they revert to a pasty shade of white? It'll be anarchy!

In: Welcome to Defamer, the inside Hollywood blog, which debuts with, among other things, a Friends last episode spoiler. Cheers, and welcome to the club.

In: Michael Musto, one of our favorites for years, interviews Jessica Simpson. Hot damn, kids, with that intro, you just know it's on like popcorn. Just sit back, and let the Musto weave the tale:

"Granted a moment to interrogate�rather than lick�Jessica, I asked her if she's become any more sophisticated lately, but she didn't seem to get the question. I repeated it, and sweet Jessica laughed and replied, 'That's not a good word to describe me. Classy, but I don't know about sophisticated.' 'Baby, you're the most sophisticated," smirked Lachey, oozing that patented male-hustler-esque chic I naturally adore. (He's the smart one in the household, the way Janet's the normal Jackson. Kidding. I love them all!)

"'Your favorite book?' I posited, but Jessica didn't hear the question. I repeated it, adding, 'Mine's Cosmo Girl.' She laughed�not that dumb�and said, 'My favorites are romance novels. I'm definitely a girlie girl. Anything that'll make me cry.' (Bergdorf Blondes does it for me. So moving.) And finally, considering that Jess is a part owner of Dessert Beauty, is this kind of expansion really necessary? Does she really need the moola? She got the question. 'Sure, why not!' baby Jessica exclaimed, without pause. Repeat: not dumb at all!

Only Michael Musto would have the guts to ask Jessica Simpson her favorite book. So best.

Out: Jordan: Hollywood of the Middle East? Army Archerd writes in Variety, "King Abdullah of Jordan is no stranger to Hollywood -- or appearing before cameras. But earlier this week he was in Hollywood trying to encourage shooting (movies, that is) in Jordan. He personally conducts a taped tour of Jordanian sites that could be attractive to moviemakers.

In: Plum Sykes is a bitch, so says our favorite socialite, the always in Miu Von Furstenberg. "There's nothing worse than a socialite with a bad attitude, and Anna Wintour as a mentor."

That's Our Miu, standing up for socialite scrumptiousness against the dark forces of Plum.