A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Desmond Tutu was pimping hard at the Vanity Fair Tribeca Film Festival. Check out the ice grill and hit pause on the playa hating button, 'lil bit, you better recognize: the archbish is up in the TriBec to see and be seen (as well as get his crunk juice on at the Skyy Vodka open bar). The arch Bish will bish slap all pretenders and contenders. "Kiss my bling-bling," the bish seems to be saying, nonchalantly, with that angelic countenance, and the sufferage-aristocratic sounding Afrikaner-Soweto lilt, what, with the reddish-Bronze twilight of the stuggle for racial equality shining in the background. No "loser dust" gathers on his fancy threads Tutu is flossing: go archbish, go archbish! Graydon Carter better jump back!

Out: How does one put this? How does one broach a subject so ... so sensitive? Tender as the teenage heart. Well, I'll come out with it, and thank you to Scott L at Stereogum for bringing this to my attention. Britney Spears has a crack problem. Who knew?

In: Mistreatment of Iraqui soldiers and the attendant Rumsfeld-bashing. prediction: Rummy resigns after setting-up-the-grounds for exit ("I would obviously resign if I didn't feel I could be effective") and McCain takes Rummy's place (and, by Karl Rove's evil genius, gets taken out of the equation once and for all as a powerful Southwest bulwark Veep for Kerry)

Out: Tomb raiders. Not cool. So-not-cool. And yet, it is such an evil Nietzschean-Kissingeresque enterprise ... Anyhoo: Some corpse thieves raided the Toscanini family tomb, desecreating the final resting place of the legendary conductors daughter, Wanda Toscanini Horowitz. Apparently there truly is no honor among thieves. The AP chronicles:

"'It surely wasn't an act of vandalism,' (Police Col. Marco Rizzo) said, citing the fact that they didn't leave graffiti. 'There were at least two people involved, maybe a third person. We don't know.

"The break-in happened Thursday night, although it wasn't noticed until the following day. The culprits entered, pulled open a grate to the underground chamber, but ignored Toscanini's coffin.

"Instead, they smashed a marble tombstone covering the coffin of Wanda Toscanini Horowitz, who died in 1998. They opened the coffin, then left, Rizzo said. He said it was possible the intruders may have been hunting for jewels."

It is deliciously ironic (and how can one not talk about matters concerning death without the requisite irony?) that Scythian tomb robbers, who robbed ancient tombs, were expert at the practice actually, ended up leaving, in their wake, archaeological data of sometimes greater import than the tomb that they themselves had robbed. Okay, enough with the dark irony, guys, (see what two days sick will get you?) next:

In: Middle Aged women baring breasts are the new black. Washington DC, home of the FCC and their ludicrous tirades against Howard Stern as well as all the networks, is, it appears, a place that is very fixated on the the proverbial "dirty pillows." Freud might say something about being weaned too early and the concurrent effects on psychosexual development. Who knows, who cares: all we know is, a middle aged lady flashed Ben Affleck at the Bloomberg after party, as he was with Vanessa Kerry. According to Ananova, via The Sun:

"A fan flashed her breasts at Ben Affleck as he chatted with the daughter of US presidential hopeful John Kerry.

"Affleck was with medical student Vanessa Kerry at a Washington dinner at the time, reports The Sun.

"The middle-aged woman showed off her bare chest, exclaiming: 'You are fucking gorgeous.'

"An onlooker said yesterday: 'It wasn't pretty.'"

Did she have a tablemat holder nipple ring, too; or were the naughty bits closer in resemblance to a Ninja star of death, perhaps? DC: it's gritty: it aint pretty.

Out: Louisiana's disproportionate legislative power is going the way of the Dodo bird, so much the better for us. Louisisana is far more conservative than the general consensus in the blue states, yet, alas, for many years they have held a disproportionate amount of political juice. The secret is very southern: blue state congressional seats have a migh higher turnover rate than the sloe gin fizz of the humid and conservative South, where plus sa change, plus le meme chose. TheHill notes:

"Louisiana�s congressional delegation is going to lose much of the power it has wielded for nearly half a century because retirements and election-year maneuvering mean four of its nine members will be freshmen in January.

"One senator and three members of the state�s seven-member House delegation are retiring at the end of their terms. With the loss of seniority, much of the state�s historically influential delegation may be unable to garner prime committee assignments.

�'There are no two ways about it,' said Rep. David Vitter (R-La.), who is retiring to run for the U.S. Senate. �We will lose seniority in the delegation.�

�We have a tradition of having an effective delegation up here in part because of seniority,� he added.

" ... W.J. 'Billy' Tauzin (R-La.), the most senior member of the state�s delegation, is leaving his seat for health reasons. Tauzin served as chairman of the Energy and Commerce Committee and sits on the House Resources and Homeland Security committees. He is serving his 13th term."

No offense to my one southern conservative reader of this blog, but good fucking riddance to that Cajun bastard. Anyone on Energy and Commerce would be better than that cat. The words Louisiana and power scare me as an African American, they remind me that in 1990, 14 years ago, David Duke won 55% of the white vote in his run for Governor, despite the fact that the National Republican party denounced him.

In: trailer trash: whether on Jerry "(wheezes) Jere ... " Springer, or anywhere else, their lack of shame makes for great shadenfreude, and their desire to be famous -- if only on reruns and at the local dive bar and Dairy Queen -- is a little on the yucky side. But oh-so-compelling; I lie to myself often and psychologically justify my fascination by calling it all "my amateur sociological research into Americana." Whatever. Those are my hang-ups, I will not hide them from you, because, well, I show them to you, like 5, maybe 6 days a week?

Anyhoo: This man sold his ex-wife's wedding dress on eBay, and, as trailer trash is wont to do in these social situations, he couldn't resist the urge to spill the beans on the seedy breakup of his nuptual bliss in lurid detail. Oh, hey, Mr. trailertrashman, resist ... resist:

"I found my ex-wife's wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, 'That�s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it.' So, this is what I�m doing. I�m selling it hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer. This dress cost me $1200 that my drunken sot of an ex-father-in-law swore up and down he would pay for but didn�t so I got stuck with the bill. Luckily I only got stuck with his daughter for 5 years. Thank the Lord we didn't have kids."

Mariners tickets and some beer -- pour l'amour. (That's about as romantic as riunite on ice)

In: Embedded with Grrrls. Our favorite Spin employee, Ulragrrrl, shares with us Andy DePunk's observations on dating-in-your-twenties:

"It is bizarre though, that no one in their twenties knows what the hell's going on. Since college, dating's been a lot like my little 6 year old cousin's soccer club. The parents drop off the kids and everyone just kicks the ball around like crazy, bonking heads and skinning knees until they occasionally make an accidental goal. But girls, no matter how savvy they are, seem a hell of a lot more frustrated and confused with us than we are with them. And I guess that was the gist of my previous email.

"I have a female roommate now, which is sort of fascinating. I feel sort of like a journalist embedded with the enemy troops. I'm privy to war room discussions on hot guys who haven't called back, strategic planning sessions on capturing high profile targets, and endless standoffs with pussy boys who flirt with their eyes at bars and don't do anything about it. The whole thing was funny to me at first. Because girls seem to have absolutely no idea what they're doing. But lately I'm feeling more humbled. Maybe the pheromones are getting to me."

Maybe, but this is interesting stuff delivered with a lot of heart and sharpness. Read on here.

Out: Fashionweekdaily has an interesting post about "punchy" former New York Magazine editor "sweet" Caroline Miller possibly-maybe headed to another Primedia property, one jingled about by the late ... mediocre ... Steve Allen:

"Caroline Miller, who was ousted as editor-in-chief of New York Magazine in favor of Adam Moss in February when Bruce Wasserstein bought the title from Primedia, has emerged as a strong contender for the top spot at TV Guide. TV Guide editor Mike Lafavore was fired on Monday, and Miller has already had a pow-wow with the publishers."

Can you get any more edgy that TV Guide, what, with those mutiple collectors item covers? TV Guide is raw like cole slaw.

In: Conservatives value wisdom and the Permanent Things, liberals value sophistication and Internationalism: why can't we combine the two teleological ends? Both sides have merit: the depth of conservative wisdom and the breadth of contingent pragmatism are two sides to the same coin. Dewey and Voegelin, why can't we all just get along ... philosophically?

Out: The great Choire Sicha on Remnick's unchanging hair.