Dennis Miller Has Hairplugs!

Born Again Republican Dennis Miller reveals to Jim Nelson of that significant cultural artifact The National Enquirer that he does indeed have hair plugs. He weaves ... I mean, ahem, he writes:

"'It's one operation they've got down pat. Nobody has a clue I had it done until I tell them,' explains the comedian, adding that the procedure is practically painless.

"But why would an arch-cynic like Miller, one of the longtime bad boys of comedy, go in for such a public display of vanity?

"'I've been known for having a head of hair,' he says, 'and when you've been a pisser like I have on TV for so many years, there's nothing your critics would delight in more than watching you go slowly bald.

"'Quite frankly, I don't mind telling people I had it done, because I think a lot of guys out there would like to get hair plugs but are probably worried about what's involved. But it's a pretty easy operation.'

"In reality, Miller admits that the procedure has actually helped him feel better about himself. 'Who wants to be bald?' he laughs."

Oh, and we're laughing too, Dennis; and ... it's a pisser.

The Corsair wonders if they used racehorse hairs, because Miller veered to the right faster than Seabiscuit at the English Triple Crown!