The Corsair's Prediction

My crystal ball is so clear it is fucking scary. Scary! My prediction about a Howard Stern interview show has turned out to be correct. Here is how I phrased it -- verbatim --on January 7, 2004:

"More Predictions

"Before this year really gets under way, let me fire off some more predictions on the record:

"Howard Stern will not renew his radio contract. Instead, he will become CBS' Barbara Walters, doing interviews with treain wrecks, like, say, Heidi Fleiss or Paris Hilton. The CBS Entertainment division will pay the subjects a la "checkbook journalism." The show will come on periodically, called 'Howard Stern Interviews ...'"

How creepy is that? Okay; so it wasn't CBS, but I even got the Barbara Walters reference. My hairs are standing on the back of my neck. Industry take note, Ron Mwangaguhunga has a sharp crystal ball. Other predictions I have made:

"The infamously clumsy Will Smith will memorably trip and fall down at The Oscars.

"Sarah Jessica Parker will get an Oprah-like syndicated talk show aimed at the hip young woman. The show will feature and be supported inordinately by the fashion houses.

"P Diddy will run for NY mayor as an independent and Russell Simmons will signal a willingness to run as an independent for Governor, staring off a new volley of celebrity politicians.

"Pakistani leader Musharraf will be assasinated. Osama Bin Laden will make Pakistan the next frontier in the US War on Terror. India will become our new close ally in the war. As a result, Indian fashion, food and music will undergo a rennaisance in the US just as British culture did immediately following 9-11. India comes into its own in 2004.

"Justin Timberlake will marry Cameron Diaz and Al Greene will perform the cermony as well as sing.

"Tony Blair will be forced to step down. Britain will face a year of upheval as Prince Charles declines the crown amid scandal over Diana's death, making way for William to become King.

"We will all be quoting lines from Donald Trump's Apprentice show for much of the early part of 2004.

"Alec Baldwin and Richard Johnson will fight -- celebrity boxing style -- in a charity event benefitting Breast Cancer. The Page Six editor will clean The Bloviator's clock. And the Bassinger-Baldwin divorce will become the latest acrimonious slice o shadenfreude to clutter the media landscape.

"Giselle Bundchen will dump Leo for Ashton.



"Renee Zellwegger will stop sucking lemons before turning in a performance.

"Michael Jackson will flee to Morocco, get a villa in Marakesh, and harass little boys unmolested by the local culture until extradited back to the US.

"MTV will cancel The Real World.

"Bill Murray will win Best Actor and deliver the best speech in Oscar history.

"Brendan Frasier will release more bombs this year than the Iraqi resistance.

"Lauryn Hill will engage in a lonely, Kierkegaardian crusade against the Roman Catholic Church.

"Graydon Carter and Sophia Coppola will date.

"Ashton Kutcher and Leo diCaprio will get into a fistfight.

Christina Aguilera will pose nude for "Playboy.

"J_Lo and Ben Affleck will get married after their film Jersey Girl crosses the $100 million mark.

"John Stewart will be tapped to replace David Letterman at the expiration of his contract.

"Page Six's Richard Johnson will host a weekly pop culture roundtable on Fox News Channel.

"VH1 will give Mo Rocca a Late Night talk show.

"John Edwards will win the South Carolina Democratic primary making him the Anyone-but-Dean candidate that Terry McAuliffe and the Clintonistas will rally around.

"Dick Cheney will leave the ticket due to "heart concerns" opening it up for fellow Yalie George Pataki. Pataki will back Rudy for Governor of New York and the Dems may lose New York and another shot at the White House.

"Jayson Blair will be tapped to write a cover Michael Jackson interview for Vanity Fair.

"Bill Clinton will finally accept a $50 million a year deal to host an Oprah-like talk show with world leaders, CEOs, journos and religious figures as guests for CBS."

Of course, I will let you all know -- ad nauseum -- every time I get it right. And, of course, if I am way off no mention of it will be made.

(Update: I guess I'll be off on the Bennifer wedding, huh?)