Bobby Hit Whitney? Oh, no he didn't!

Lowlife punchy pseudomusician Bobby "My Prerogative: Brown is accused of having punched Whitney "Oh, no Diane ... Crack (sotto voce) is wack." Houston in the face, cutting her upper lip and bruising her cheek in Alpharetta, Georgia, of all places.

Being punchy is not your prerogative, Bobby. Here are some of Tenderoni's greatest brushes with Johnny Law:

Arrested in Alpharetta while eating fish.

Arrested on drug and traffic charges.

Arrested for drug possession and speeding.

Sexual battery charges.

Crack is like arugula compared to Bobby Brown.

In some good celebrity news (how often do you hear that?), Elvis Costello married Diana Krall. Genius babies will ensue.