Anyone else noticed that the Top Chef contestants have grown increasingly insolent as the series has progressed? We worry after the safety of the ravishing Padma Lakshmi in the presence of such surly, chimpanzee-like behavior coming from, of all people, chefs (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). We would like to volunteer to be Padma's "bodyperson" -- "Huma" to Padma's Hillary, fulfilling her every need -- should these chef-tensions continue build to boiling temperature.
And, while, yes, Hung -- the previous winner -- had a colossal ego, he relegated his culinary bitchiness to the confines of the confessional camera. The idea of a contestant "sassing" a judge would have been considered anathema last season. This season's Top Chef is another kettle of fish altogether.
It's like someone is putting anabolic steroids in the cerviche and orangutan hormonal extracts in the edamame or something. Top Chef: Chicago, especially, represents the crest of this culinary 'roid rage, this bonfire of the civilities. And although there is some precedent for chefs that behave like The Great Apes (Averted Gaze), Top Chef -- on Bravo, no less -- always struck us as a more civilized arena, a precinct where a sure hand and a refined palate reigned supreme. Alas, it was not. The barbarians have stormed our Bravo's gates.
Some evidence in support of the argument:
-- "Spike," who has a vast array of Federlinish hats worn a la "Fosse," declared, upon losing a neighborhood street fair cookoff, that his team was "cooking for the people." From reality-Online-TV:
"When Padma called back the blue team, the red team was showing signs of concern but never really lost their confidence or arrogance. When they are called back to face the judges at judges’ table you could see they were truly surprised to be there. Spike explains that they were cooking for the people, not the judges, and Tom Colicchio said they shouldn’t dumb down what they are doing to appeal to the masses. Guest judge (Rick) Bayless makes a comment later that good food is universal and will sell to everyone. One interesting thing during this judges’ table was Andrew speaking back to the judges. When Colicchio says someone has to go home from this team Andrew says that they would have to drag him out of there with security guards since 'this is my house now.'" WTF?!
This same Spike, refusing to follow the dictates of the "gourmet taco" contest, declared that he would not go upscale because "Taco's are from the streets." And he didn't want to "fake it."
-- Earlier in that same episode, Spike outright lied to Antonia about a house that they had just visited. The nature of the challenge was that they had to ask neighborhood residents for the ingredients they would use in the cook off. While this act of "sabotage" -- their word -- was, technically, legal, it was against the fairplay exhibited on the show thus far.
-- Once again we cannot fail to note -- with increasing rage -- Andrew's thumoeideutic boast to Tom Colicio: "You'll have to drag me out with security guards, cause I ain't goin nowhere. This is my house." He said this all up in Tom Colichio's bitch! Oh, it's on! It's on like Gray Poupon!
-- The token Aussie Mark, breaking Top Chef tradition, lamenting aloud, "Tom doesn't like me... It's undercooked, it's overcooked, it's too salty, how do I make this guy happy?" Just go.
-- Lisa, after ratting out "culinary boner" Andrew for not using a whole grain on a nutrition challenge(admittedly a punk move), said she felt like if she said anymore he would punch her. Afterwards an increasingly unstable Andrew pointed to his eyes, alluding to the fact that he had his eyes on her. This cracked-up scene caused Antonia to shout out, "Ew, Andrew, stop, it’s totally freaking me out."
-- Lisa, who trafficks in high drama, fucked up the entire kitchen vibe during the nutrition challenge, screaming, "WHO FUCKED WITH MY RICE?!” Then, later, she contended that someone sabotaged her burner. No one fucked with her rice, people.
-- Dale, who is just as negative a personality as Lisa, punched a wall (and screamed in the acoustically-friendly kichen, "Fu-u-uuck!") after his team lost a quickfire challenge in which he filetted a really gnarly-looking monkfish.
-- And Richard Blais' faux-hawk is just ... aggressive. It rankles.
"Saucy," like we said. And unexpected coming from the sphere of the homely arts.
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