Quien es Mas Macho: Steven Spielberg, Or God?



Okay, okay, so Steven Spielberg did not create the world in six days and rest on Sunday. The uber-director did not create the Infinite skies and multitudinous seas aqua. Then again, Where was The Silent One, the Lord of Hosts on the Time 100? Huh? And how many Oscars does the God of Abraham possess? Does His Endlessness get to work with Peter Jackson on "These Lovely Bones"? I'm just saying ...

And if memory serves was it not Steven Spielberg and not The Almighty, The Endless One who has been pressuring China -- via his role in the 2012 Olympics -- to stop selling arms to the Sudanese government who, in turn, are slaughtering black Africans? Where was G-d on the whole Sudanese genocide thingie anyway? Deus Otiosis? From The Council on Foreign Relations:

"As a result of China ’s Sudan investment, Mia Farrow, an actress and former UNICEF spokesman, has led a campaign to dub the Games the “Genocide Olympics” and hopes to shame international sponsors and film producer Steven Spielberg from participating in public relations efforts to support Beijing. Experts disagree on the efficacy of such criticism from outside China."

and so we ask: Quien es Mas Macho?

Poles

G-d: North Pole; Pro: the point of intersection of the Earth's surface with the axis of a simple magnetic dipole (like a bar magnet) that best approximates the Earth's actual more complex magnetic field. Con: Two words: Global Warming.

Steven Spielberg: Summer Tentpole. Pro: Spielberg's "Jaws" inaugurated the Summer Tentpole film, creating the modern studio system. Con: There was a moment when the tentpole seemed cliche, but Spiderman 3 will see to that noise.

Winner: Spielberg

Love

G-d: Pro and Con: Not much Love happeneing here on Planet Earth. Shi'ites fighting Sunni's fighting Sunni's fighting Christians ... Evengelicals fighting Agnostics ... That creepy Pope

Spielberg: Pro: The unquestioned King of Hollywood. Con: Wanted GE, and not Viacom to buy Dreamworks: "I was waiting at the altar for GE, and it never happened .. and Paramount gave us everything we ever wanted and more."

Winner: Draw

Disaster

Spielberg: Pro: Master of the Disaster pic. Con: Discovered Dakota Fanning. Con: Told Chris Rock to direct the box office bomb "I Think I Love My Wife. From Marksfriggin: "Howard (Stern) wanted to know more about the pressure Chris was under making this movie. Chris told Howard how he didn't even want to direct this movie but the movie company wanted him to do it. He said that Spielberg actually told him to try out the directing thing. He directed Head of State and Spielberg thought that he should direct more so he went with this one and tried it out."

G-d: Meteor showers? Hello.

Winner: G-d.

Props

Overall winner: Yaweh. Okay, okay: we give the G-d of Abraham props. Just ... look to that, yknow, Darfur situation.