The Love Song of K-Fertiline



"LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky/
Like a patient etherised upon a table"


K-Fert's Cosmic Role -- and all organbic matter has one -- was to oscillate wildly, thus serving as a Galactic Tension Reliever (tm) for geopolitical forces. Unfortunately, a Horny Britney inserted herself -- Eew -- into the Galactic Administration of the Universe, Thus Releasing -- Eew -- K-Fert's explosive "Forces (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)."

"Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats/
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels"

K-Fertiline, or, as we like to call him, K-Fert (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), was -- how does one say this in polite company? -- "Active" at the Kentucky Derby the other day. And how could he not? Those Fiery Loins (tm), once countenanced by a heavy back-up dance routine, hath been loosed! Surely, the fetid heat activated his preternatural powers of Fertility.

"And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument/
Of insidious intent"

From those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"Downtown at the Stereo party, Kevin Federline was not amused when organizers brought him to a table in the VIP area he deemed was too small and said, 'Yo, I need a bigger table - I got six bitches with me.'

"After DJ AM finished his set, Federline hi-jacked the microphone from Kid Rock. K-Fed gave "shout-outs" to hot girls in the crowd and screamed, 'I got four kids already - which one of you Kentucky girls wants to have my fifth?'

"There were no takers .."

"In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo."

Still, despite the fact that there were no takers, anyone in hearing distance is strongly counselled to take an early pregnancy test just to be on the safe side ...(Page Six)