"Beefsweat" Stallone Returns



You can't keep a good "Beefsweat" down. Sylvester "Beefsweat" Stallone returns (Doesn't it seem from afar as if his sweat has the consistency of an inexpensive consomme?), chewing the scenery in a new installment of "Rambo," his "man-tan" topped with his exquisitely unique marble-mouth diction (Averted Gaze). From the oily Man-Beast who gave The world "Sly Magazine (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)" -- from deep within his reptile brain. We will leave aside in passing any reference to smuggled hormones (Although, if certain torrid memoirs are to be believed, Stallone is not entirely unfamiliar with other, more organic "whore-moans" -- if you know what we mean; wink, wink, pump-pump. Charmed, I'm sure.

Please stay home for this phoned-in performance that will, no doubt, be brimming with sucky-osity. Don't encourage him.