Giuliani Dissolves into a Flopsweat



Former New York Mayor and Statesman-manque Rudy "Nothing Spells Loving Like Marrying Your Cousin" Giuliani has, during the past week (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned etachment), occupied every conceivable position on the Abortion question. While such political gymnastics have their uses on the Upper West Side of New York, those same elasticities are abhorred on Mainstreet in red-ste Peoria. Chris Wallace, the punchy son of "60 Minutes'" Grand Inquisitor Mike Wallace, interrogated Giuliani with all the zeal of Torquemada himself. And our favorite cousinlover, clearly rattled, as a defensive measure, responded by spraying a hot stream of flopsweat.

From "Broken Windows" to Broken Sweat. (Fox)