Wednesday, August 31, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out


"... Unlimited power" (image via ejeanlive)

In: The Les Moonves Profile. Thanks to Wonkette, for steering us in the direction of this "Master of the Universe" Les Moonves profile in the upcoming New York Times Magazine (via Romenesko):

"'The news anchor Andrew (Heyward) wants to use is not surprising,' Moonves had told me, referring to John Roberts, the chief White House correspondent for CBS and one of Heyward's leading choices. 'That's bothering me. On the one hand, we could have a newscast like The Big Breakfast in England, where women give the news in lingerie. Or there's Naked News, which is on cable in England. I saw a clip of it. It's a woman giving the news as she's getting undressed. And then, on the other hand, you could have two boring people behind a desk. Our newscast has to be somewhere in between.

"... 'It's like pornography I'll know it when I see it, he would tell me later."

Classy (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Did Les Moonves casually belch in the face of the interviewer after delivering that erudite pronouncement? Did Les forcefully expectorate on the studio floor immediately afterwards? Listen, listen carefully. Do you hear that high pitched whizzing sound? That's Edward R. Murrow spinning in his grave.


(image via worth1000)

Out: The 50 Cent Demands. Glad to see that Fitty is being more modest in his use of celebrity. In the past he has been rather cavalier. And, no, Fitty hasn't forsworn Icelandic lasses. According to The Corsair's favorite superhero gossip duo Rush and Molloy, "50 Cent is the one whose representatives asked for condoms - two boxes of Lifestyles and Rough Riders, to be precise. The rapper also wanted the obligatory bottles of Cristal, but when it came to food, his tastes were simpler: chicken - from KFC and Boston Market - and macaroni and cheese.
And 50 had a kosher request, as well. His demands, scored by In Touch Weekly, say: 'There is to be no pork in the food or in the vicinity of 50 Cent's dressing room.'"

So, he doesn't have time for "swine." We guess that makes the world a safer place for Tara Reid, now doesn't it?

But we digress. You'll remember, of course, 50 Cent's Beg For Mercy Tour Rider requested, among other items, "coldslaw (sic)", soft toilet paper, creamy peanut butter, one jar of grape jelly, turkey sausage, five dozen assorted doughnuts, "butter and marg," cereals (Kellogg's variety packs and Raisin Bran), sliced cheese tray (with four cheeses, onions, pickles lettuce in separate containers), pasta and tuna salad with a minimum of three dressings, grilled chicken and tuna melt sandwiches, local specialty to be discussed, and a Saturday meal of BBQ Chicken, ribs and baked fish, a hearty deli tray with four meats and, the coup de grace, four glass ashtrays.


(image via pelmelquizz)

In: The Johnannesberg Man-Rape. Remember that episode of "Too Close for Comfort" when the character named "Monroe," (played, so ably, by Jim J. Bullock) was raped in a van by these two aggro women? Well, under the quirky headline "Visions of Johannesburg," the gang at Worldofwonder (link via iafrica) posted this enticing little chestnut on the dark continent:

"A 30-year-old man in Johannesburg, South Africa, has become traumatized and unable to speak after being raped by three women whose ages ranged from 30 to 36. One was described as being a slender Zulu-speaking woman with a ponytail, dressed in black denim pants, a pink T-shirt, black leather jacket, and black baseball hat. The women approached the man in their car and asked him to get in and direct them to a hotel. But on the way they changed direction and drove to a field, where they made him undress at gunpoint, then undressed themselves and took turns raping him. After forcing him back into the car, they drove him to a main road and dropped him off."

Blogger, please. That's not rape. That's a classic good time. If the women had dropped off some scotch before slinking off into the night, then it would have been The Corsair's idea of a perfect evening.


(image via allposters)

Out: Jerry Hall. In keeping with the general tenor of the last post. This, on "sexually demeaning content." According to ThisisLondon:

"Jerry Hall has been banned from (the London transport system). Or rather, posters of the Texan model have been banned. Hall was pictured with 12 semi-naked men on a dog leash.

"But the sight of Mick Jagger's ex-wife posing in such a provocative way offended the bosses of London Underground because of its 'sexually demeaning' content.

"They ordered the posters, which promote her new VH1 series, Kept, be torn down witin hours of going up on the walls of Tube stations ... The show has already aired in America, where it had mixed reviews. 'Seldom has whoring for ratings seemed quite so brazen,' wrote Variety's TV critic. Sceptical minds might wonder if VH1's Tube posters were a publicity stunt."

*The Corsair's heart goes out to any readers who have in any way been victims of hurricane Katrina.

1 comment:

Bubbles, Ink. said...

"Blogger, please"
Classic!! Thank you for introducing my coffee to my keyboard via my nostrils.