A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via Thisislondon)

In: Pete Doherty, All Cracked Up. Is this really "In"? Of course, The Corsair doesn't promote judicious sucking on "the glass dick." Even Whitney now concedes that "crack is wack"; still, undeterred, Pete Doherty's lurid, smoldering, slow-motion car wreck continues apace, and we -- we, hearty few -- are powerless to do anything but gawk at this rhythmically unfolding media spectacle. Babyshambles, indeed! Say the 3AM Girls:

" ... Kate Moss's junkie rocker boyfriend Pete Doherty has been detained at Oslo airport after carrying class-A drugs into Norway.

"The Babyshambles frontman, 26, was one of two people held for four hours at Gardermoen on Friday afternoon.

"They were later fined 8,000 Norwegian krone ( Shillings 700) each - one for carrying 1.7g of crack cocaine and the other for possessing 1.5g of heroin."

Pete: (Aggro) -- You put your crack cocaine in my heroin!
Bandmate: (Obviously Peeved) -- You put your heroin in my crack cocaine!
(Both turgid faces are alighted by a red-hot crackpipe in a thought balloon, as they say, ensemble, with Kool-Aid smiles)
Together: Speedballs!

" ... As if that wasn't bad enough, Pete had been smoking at the non-smoking airport and, when he did eventually perform, he proceeded to vomit onstage.

"We also hear that it was the festival organisers who stumped up the cash to have the pair released. Cheek!

"'It wasn't the best performance. Pete got sick and vomited on the stage. He also threw vodka bottles into the audience and, at one point, told the crowd his singing was supposed to be out of tune.'"

Upchuck interspersed with artfully chucked vodka bottles (were they chilled?) -- if that isn't the "best," (Averted Gaze) true believers, a true rock-and-roll moment, then we don't know what is. The straight, er, "dope (for lack of a better word)" is here.



(image via boston)

Out: Charlie Gibson, The Next ABC Anchorman? As The Corsair lounged, regally, sipping traditional Kenyan blend coffee, watching CNN's Reliable Sources, we were surprised to catch former Morning Show veteran Steve Friedman predict that -- of all people -- Charlie Gibson might be next up on the Peter Jennings chair. Granted, Steve Friedman's "golden gut" is tarnished, but the choice of Gibson -- if indeed he is the choice, and he might be -- would be a step backwards, to a pre-cable and internet age, into a remote, irrelevant past, where processed, non-threatening, full-haired wonderbread types were considered "The Wise Men."

That era has passed. Unfortunately, the transcript says otherwise:

"KURTZ: Steve Friedman, you went out on a limb before the break by predicting -- we have the videotape -- that Charlie Gibson will be the next anchor of 'World News Tonight.' I was going to ask you, because you know the morning show landscape better than anyone, he is doing so well now with Diane Sawyer, 'Good Morning America' helping to close the ratings gap with 'Today,' don't you think that ABC may be reluctant to break up that winning combination as the morning now is as important as the evening news?

"FRIEDMAN: Well, in this cycle, I predict that the name and face, whoever is the name and face of the network will be the evening news anchor. So therefore I think if it is Charlie Gibson -- and look, he was front and center on everything that happened, including the announcement of Peter's death, so you have to assume, assume, that he is the frontrunner for this job, I think he's going to get the job."

Altogether now, and with gusto let's sing-- "Born to be ... mii-- iiild .."



(image via aski.org)

In: "Partnerships". The launch of Magazines like Colors and Absolute and Bergdorff has given rise to a new social phenomenon of magazine-corporate collabo-hybrids. Charmed, I'm sure. According to Fashionweekdaily:

"Don�?�t look for multi-page spreads of Daria Werbowy in Dior and Chanel just yet. Rather, Target has 'purchased' the entire August 15-22 issue of the urbane Cond�?© Nast title, meaning that only the chic mass retailer�?�s advertisements will run in the magazine�?�s pages. This is the first time a single advertiser has commanded an entire single issue since the publication was founded 80 years ago in 1925.

"... But what connection does Target have with the readership of The New Yorker, which boasts a median age of 48 and median household income of $81,000? To visualize the collaboration and maintain the magazine�?�s mix of humor and investigative reporting, Target recruited artists and illustrators such as Milton Glaser, Gary Baseman, Ruben Toledo, Robert Risko, Yuko Shimizu, Andre Dubois, and Melinda Beck to create one-of-a-kind advertising/art images that will be exclusive to this issue."

The full story here.



(image via LVRH.com)

In: The Howard Dean Mantle. Who will inherit the Howard Dean mantle in 2008, and, attendant to that, those scores of erratic, young idealistic campaign volunteers? Sure, 2008 is far off, but that will never stop us from crypto-geekish political speculation. Won't you participate in a nonbinding "thought-experiment" with The Corsair?

Today, we focus on the attractive -- and presently unoccupied -- political real estate to the left of Hillary Clinton within the Democratic Party. Kerry's loss in 2004 made that geography curiously radioactive, but the recent plummeting of the President's poll numbers, and the relative confusion as to how to deal with the "problem" of Cindy Sheehan has created an opening of sorts. Of sorts.

The Senate Contenders -- Hillary, Bayh, Biden, Allen -- all have Senate records as moderates, and authorized the war, but now contort, gymnastically, in their criticisms of Iraq ("I votsupposeuppost ... we didn't know what we do now ... we need more boots on the ground ... the aftermath was handled badly ... blahblahblather").

Bugubernatorialtorial Contender -- Bill Richardson, Lone Wolf -- could, quite possibly, position himself into the now empty mantleplace of the overemotional anti-war Howard Dean, except as a moderate Western NASCAR Democrat (as opposed chardonnay sipping, New England Yalie) with bona fide credentials on the crisis in illegal Immigration; Richardson, being an actual border state Governor, deals minute-by-minute with the issue.

Granted, this is all an elaborate "thought-idea" on The Corsair's part. Though, mind you, before you dismiss us as speaking out of school, our prediction last week that Richardson would leverage the Immigration issue for political benefit came eerily true. Don't sweat The Corsair's crystal ball. All it ould take is for Richardson, in neighboring New Mexico, to win the day is to make a visit to the Crawford Ranch, and stand in solidarity with the sympathetic Mrs. Sheehan. Should he do so that, Richardson would automatically -- automatically -- become the Democratic Party front runner for 2008. Stranger things have happened.



(image via yahoo.movies)

Out: Chaos, Deuce Bigelow. Just what, pray tell, does Roger Ebert have against "man-whores"? (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) The oily, rat-like Rob Schneider, a Hollywood force singlehandedly responsible in hastening the decline of Western Civilization, gets singled out for the rare, carbolic Roger Ebert "gasface." The most excellent Karina Longworth at Cinematical notes, keenly:

"Last week, Roger Ebert shocked the five us of who care about these things by giving two films a grade of Zero Stars: Chaos and Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. Most would agree that the once-radical Ebert has softened with age, and he manages to justify bestowing a two-star certification on all but the most offensive of widgets. I don't fault Ebert for this; he takes bad reviews seriously because he understands the power he has as the most visible film critic in the nation. But he's not above making his distaste personal - it's going to take a while for him to live down a line like, 'Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.' That said, from the way this summer seems to be going, it's a marvel he's held back the Zero Star venom this long. To our poll question: have you seen a movie this year that had no redeeming value whatsoever, that was so bad that it wouldn't even make it onscalableleable chart?

Add your comments here. For the record, The Corsair hasn't seen anything this year so bad it merits a bitchslapping. But if we ever run into the Wayans Brothers, they owe us -- big time -- for two ill-spent tickets on Scary Movie 2, far and away the worst film in the history of the goddamned world. (The Corsair expectorates into the blogosphere) Just Hideously "evil"! (Wipes mouth)