Saturday, August 27, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

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Portrait of an ass. (image via hydepark.co.il)

In: Chad Michael Murray's Gymkata. Oh how we do so love the athletic contortions and rhetorical "gymkata" that guys engage in (but, like, not The Corsair) when we try to explain away why we are at a houses of flesh in another city not their own without our significant others (for further reference, see Matt LeBlanc's now infamous "she was crossing the line" explanation; uh-huh). Chad's off-the-cuff explanation similarly defies the laws of logic, and goes something like, "look, I was tired, it was the end of a day, I wanted a drink and then -- plam! tits and ass! Everywhere!" Or something like that, according to SFGate's Dish:

"Chad Michael Murray has cleared up reports about his recent controversial visit to a strip club, insisting his wife, Sophia Bush, was fully aware of the trip.

"While promoting his and Paris Hilton's movie 'House of Wax' in Canada, the actor was spotted out at a strip bar, attracting headlines and whispers about the state of his new marriage.
"But Murray insists the visit was completely innocent, explaining to Teen People, 'Yeah, I went to a strip club in Toronto. We were there for the House of Wax press junket. It had been a long day, and Jared (Padalecki), Elisha (Cuthbert) and I wanted to go out.'"

A change of "Bush," so to speak. Simultaneous bullshit detector/translator: Yeah, I went (Holy cats! I'm busted!).

"'So our driver says, Hey, I know this great place to sit back and have a drink. It's called the Brass Rail. I thought it was a whiskey bar. It just sounds like a tough-guy bar, you know?

Simultaneous bullshit detector/translator: It's a guy thing. I was more into kicking ass than tapping ass that night, anyhow.

"When we got there and I realized what it was, I called Sophia. I was like, 'Baby, we tried to go to a whiskey bar, and we're sitting at a strip club!' She thought it was funny.'

Simultaneous bullshit detector/translator: We got caught. Hysterical crying ensued. It was really freaky how she kind of laughed and cried at the same time in that cracked way. More here.

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(image via bbc.co.uk)

Out: Diddy. What's up with "Diddy"? Why did he say the following? From British Vogue, we get:

"Sean Combs has come over all Proustian: the impresario, who prefers to go by plain Diddy these days, claims his new fragrance, Unforgivable, is potent enough to recall temps perdu. 'You may forget the way a person looks,' he tells WWD, 'but their smell, even years later, will jog your memory. And when I make a fragrance, I make it to the point you damn near want to taste the person.'"

Okay, The Corsair is officially creeped out (shudders). We do not approve of damn near tasting people; that sounds like a recipe for Mad Cow. Still, this is oddly effective marketing -- viral even -- recalling not Proustian Madeleine's so much as Joy Behar's old routine about the semi-psychotic Catherine Deneuve's Chanel No. 5 ("Je Ne Regrette Rien") commercials.

Even worse, according to those intrepid Page Sixxies, "When People magazine asked the natty hip-hop mogul what he planned to wear while hosting tomorrow's Video Music Awards, Combs answered: 'An array of colors and luxurious fabrications.' We think he meant 'fabrics' but with Combs, you never know."

Agreed.

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(image via skyblog)

Out: White Slavery. Seriously, though, yo: What the fuck is up with OK!Magazine and their increasingly creepy relationships with the celebrities that they "pay" to cover (As to the ethics of that, why don't we leave that question for a panel at buried in the 3 AM slot on C-SpanII). Does signing an interview contract with OK! Magazine make you chattel?

OK! Magazine has got to be violating some statute of international law in their "proprietary ownership" of their interview subjects, and all that for only a paltry $200,000. First of all, does anyone know anyone who even reads OK!Magazine? Anyone, anyone ...?

We didn't think so. Next, this tasty morsel from those intrepid Page Sixxies, "THAT OK! magazine is paying for Jessica and Ashlee Simpson's hotel rooms at the Setai in Miami this weekend to 'keep an eye on them and help them stay loyal to the magazine,' our spies tell us."

Ok! Next thing you know, Jessica and Ashlee will be asked by an oily executive at OK! to "be nice" to a roomful of mantanned "Russian businessmen" in their hotel room wearing open shirts revealing chest hair and gold chains.

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(image via nysocialdiary)

In: Jonathan Capehart. The Corsair met Jonathan Capehart, clearly an up-and-coming player moving up the publishing chain, briefly at Michael's, where he talked with our favorite social chronicler, David Patrick Columbia for NYSocialDiary:

"Jonathan is a young man �? 38 �? and has had a stellar career since coming to New York out of college. He was the first man (I think I�?m right about this) to work in an advisory capacity for Michael Bloomberg when he decided to run for office. Later he went to work for the Daily News sitting on the board that decides what to concentrate on editorially/news-wise. Perhaps because of his Bloomberg experience, he�?s really connected in New York politics, and it�?s obviously in his blood. Betsy Gotbaum refers to him as her 'son.'"

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(image via plissken)

Out: The Bodyguard 2? Oh please no; let's --like -- not ,and say we did. LASocialDiarist catches up with Kevin Costner in Beverly Hills:

"Kevin Costner had a monster hit with The Bodyguard in the 1992 film that co-starred Whitney Houston. Now he wants to make a sequel and he knows who he wants to protect this time around. 'Ideally, it would be great to get someone like Jessica Simpson on board to take the story to the next level,' said Costner."

The next level of Dante's "Inferno"?

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