Thursday, August 18, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

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(image via elliotback)

In: Britney's Moroccan Baby Shower. Apparently, the Federline fetus is a boy, and, according to The Sun, will soon enter the world amid the bray of trumpets as ... "Preston."

(A considerable pause) What? "Blake" was taken? We predict loads and loads of atomic wedgies and wet willies in the near future, come matriculation time at Hollywood High.

Anyway: This item on IOL fairly leapt out at The Corsair and grabbed us by the lapels:

"With just weeks to go before giving birth, Britney Spears hosted an emotional Moroccan-themed baby shower."

Hm. One ought to separate the words "Moroccan" and "baby". With great force if necessary.

"Guests were welcomed into a bamboo tent set up in front of her Malibu home, where they walked barefoot through thousands of rose petals."

"'I wanted it to be really intimate with just my closest girlfriends and family members,' she said. 'The night was everything I envisioned.' Sitting amongst hundreds of candles, Britney presided over a North African feast which included Moroccan brisket and salad Tangiers.

Portrait of a connoisseur: from "Possum," and "Chicken Fingers" to "Moroccan Brisket". The girls is clearly moving up in the world of taste. (Averted Gaze)

"The meal was topped with a cake in the shape of a Moroccan pot with a baby peeking out."

This being a Moroccan-themed party, you'll, uh, want to kid the baby under wraps. In Morocco, they separate the men from the boys ... with crowbars, if you know what The Corsair means. (Averted Gaze)

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(image via eminem.notka)

Out: Is This The End Of Eminem? In therarefiedd cosmos of Hollywood acting, it is customary to say, during interviews, between drags from a Camel filtered cigarette, "But what I really want to do is direct," because, after the charm ofnarcissismm has worn off, it really is better to have power behind the camera.

Similarly with the music industry. Fred Durst and Heavy D and now, the wonderful Ultragrrrl, have proven that in music -- and in life -- it is more fun to be on the "pimp" side of the business than on the "'ho side".

The quixotic withdrawal of Eminem from his European tour has led to speculation that perhaps the albinoish hip-hopper may be planning an exit strategy from being an industry 'ho, lining the pockets Dr. Dre's sable coat. According to the 3AM Girls:

"The 32-year-old rap superstar claimed he was 'exhausted' and could not face the tour of Britain, Ireland and Europe.

"But family and friends revealed that Eminem, whose real name is Marshall Mathers III, is 'sick to the back teeth' of his onstage role as a foul-mouthed, outrageous rapper.

"They insisted he wanted to move into producing full-time and was determined never to tour as the notorious, chainsaw-wielding Slim Shady again.

"His decision to pull out of the European leg of his Anger Management tour will cost him millions.
"It also leaves tens of thousands of fans gutted - some of whom had paid up to £50 for tickets to sell-out gigs.

The rapper's sudden decision to cancel was announced on his official website. It said: 'Eminem is being treated for exhaustion, complicated by other medical issues. The shows are not expected to be rescheduled.'

"But a family friend says: 'He has had enough of being someone he's not.'"

More here

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(image via mbpbs)

In: Ray Richmond, Hollywood Reporter. Ray Richmond's column for The Hollywood Reporter on The Emmy's was the perfect summation of everything that went wrong with the nominations. He begins by noting, cooly, "the average age this year of a lead acting nominee in the six drama series, comedy series and movie/miniseries categories is 45." Then, he adds, "(merging) the lead and supporting categories leaves you with an average age of 50 1/2." He builds his case, "when you factor in guest lineups, the final age of all 80 nominated performers in Emmy acting categories is just shy of 54."

The summation? "The reason I bring attention to this isn't to bash the older and middle aged. Heck, I'm getting within sniffing distance of 50 myself. It's not about sounding some sort of Emmy gong alarm to alert the world of any creeping codgerdom. Quite the contrary, anything that helps reverse the tide of age has to be viewed as positive.

"Yet I wonder if there's any correlation between a Television Academy membership that would vote to honor such a collectively mature performer base and one that flat out refuses to pay heed to FX's quality trio of "Rescue Me," "The Shield," and "Nip/Tuck" in the top drama category, or a hip series like HBO's "Entourage" among the best comedies, or the aforementioned "Gillmore Girls" snub.

Brilliant, Ray Richmond.

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(image via NySocialDiary)

Out: Ivana Water. No joke, but such a product actually exists, if only for a night. According to our favorite social chronicler, the brilliant David Patrick Columbia, in NYSocialDiary, "On the dinner table last night, along with the rose petals, were bottles of her own Ivana water as well as her fragrances for men and women." We cannot devise in our rich and fertile imagination a heat wave that would force us to consume such a beverage. (Averted Gaze)

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(image via stateny.us)

In: Who Will Be The Governor of New York? Holy fuck! Granted, The Empire State is a place of outsized ambitions -- just ask Sinatra -- but, like, is there anyone who is not running for Governor of New York?

Everyone's a contender. State Senator Mike Balboni has made churlish, wet noises that he may run. Aristocratic former Massachusetts Governor and Nabokov aficionado William Weld, a ferocious campaigner (his titanic race, in 1990, against steely, ultra-intellectual John Silber for Governor may be, with the possible exception of the Lincoln-Douglas Senate campaign of 1858, the most exciting American political campaign EVER) Weld's greatest moment, however, came in his brutal battle against that owlish bigot, Senator Jesse Helms (presently roasting in the furnaces of Hades) in his quest to be United States Ambassador to Mexico; Helms won, ultimately, using his clout as Chairman of Senate Foreign Relations to cock-block the moderate Republican's nomination. Always fucking drama with William Weld.

Time Warner's Dick Parsons said he isn't running, after Politicker piqued our curiosity. Senator John McCain, no doubt eager to collect political IOU's from moderate allies in 2008, has urged perennial contender and billionaire Tom Gollisano to run for Governor.

Elliot Spitzer is a definite contender. Senator Chuck Schumer was a contender, until the Democratic Party wooed him over with a prestigious chairmanship of the DSCC. State Senator Flanagan may run as well.

Other players: "Randy Daniels, New York's appointed Secretary of State and a former CBS-TV newsman; former state Assembly Minority Leader John Faso; state Assemblyman Patrick Manning of Dutchess County; and state Sen. Raymond Meier of the Utica area," writes Marc Humbert of Newsday.

Oh, it's on like Gray Poupon.

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(image via pinellasgop)

Out: Senator Bill Frist. It is early in the Road to 2008, but, from what The Corsair can tell, Bill Frist isn't giving Senator McCain -- or even Tom Tancredo -- a real run for their money. Earlier this week Trent Lott took a poke. On the issues, he appeared craven in the Shiavo fiasco, and now, on stem cell research, our Bob Novak, Dickensian villain manque, delivers a steak through the cardiologist's heart:

"A prominent Republican who had not been to Washing-ton lately dropped in last week to the capital, a city in the doldrums with both Congress and the president out of town. He was struck by one unexpected topic concentrating the attention of Republican insiders. It was not Iraq, Social Security or the Supreme Court. It was Bill Frist, and the reviews were not good.
"Actually, Frist's performance as Senate majority leader has improved markedly through more than 2-1/2 years of on-the-job training. It's the atmospherics that bother fellow Republicans, typified by his decision to break with President Bush on embryonic stem cell research. For politicians, Frist's sin is not so much what he did, but when he did it. Announcing his new stem cell position July 29, the last day the Senate was in session before the summer recess, stepped on his applause lines for the unexpectedly productive pre-recess congressional record.
"'He has a tin ear,' one Republican senator told me.

"... The other complaints my visitor to Washington heard may seem trivial to the outside world but are crucial to politicians. They pertain to a frosty relationship between Frist and House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert, who does think like a politician."

Oh no he didn't!

In: We Media: Behold The Power of Us. Our friends at the American Press Institute, where The Corsair guest blogs, have organized the We Media Conference, on October 5th at the AP Headquarters in NYC. The Corsair will be attending, speakers at the even include: Jason Calacanis, Farai Chideya, Jessica Coen, Ana Marie Cox, CBS News' Andrew Heyward, Larry Kramer, Jeff Jarvis, Nicholas Kristoff and a whole load of people who you'll want to chat with or up.

This is a must go-to event, register here.

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(image via beaufordhunt)

Out: The Duke of Beaufort and Nicholas Soames. According to Taki's High Life:

"But enough about spite and envy, Let's talk a little bit about bullshit. As in Tony Blair hailing the late King Fahd's 'great vision and leadership.' Come again? If it weren't for the short sightedness of Fahd, a big buddy of (John) Aspinall's, incidentally, perhaps Harry Laden -- aka Osama Bin Laden -- would have been content to buy drinks in White's bar instead of blowing people up. (Apparently, both The Duke of Beaufort and Nicholas Soames are in trouble with the club because neither has apologized for sponsoring him as a member)"

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