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Brilliant (link via paidcontent):

Heather Mills Goes Batshit (Part Deux)



(image via quotidano)

When last we left that one-legged dancer, Heather Mills, she was being warned by the Bobby's in Britain to stop calling their emergency hotline. Today, more BabyMomma-Drama. Sir Paul McCartney is presently hooking up with Sabrina Guinness, of whom Imnotobsessed notes, "her claim to fame (besides her last name) is dating Prince Charles before he married Diana. Who else has she dated? Mick Jagger, Jack Nicholson, Michael Douglas and Rod Stewart."

Then again, fucking Jack Nicholson is a jet-set right of passage, kind of the same deal goes on with Nicolette Sheridan and the Hollywood Hills crowd. You're not really Hollywood if you haven't "blasted" Nicolette Sheridan. Really.

But back to Sir Paul, or, as they call him on the other side of the Atlantic, "Macca." From ThisisLondon:

"Heather Mills was reportedly 'apoplectic' with rage on hearing of Sir Paul's so-called 'date'
Heather Mills has reacted furiously to news that her estranged husband Paul McCartney planned a date with the wealthy socialite Sabrina Guinness.

"Miss Mills, who is currently in Los Angeles starring in American television's Dancing With The Stars, was 'apoplectic with rage'when she learned of the meeting in London on Wednesday evening, say friends.

"'She was livid. She felt like someone had knocked the stuffing out of her. She feels this has really humiliated her. Heather has long believed forces are at work trying to destroy her and she feels this is just the next step,' said a friend.

"'In Heather's mind, she feels this has actually been done when she is out of the country to overshadow her American television debut.'"

Wow, can someone say solipsistic? Alert the Media: The Winter turned metamorphosed into Spring to .. upstage Heather Mills' appearance on "Dancing with the Stars." More:

"She told everyone that he had sent her flowers to wish her good luck in the contest, and that he was really on her side. But she feels that the minute she leaves the country, he is pictured going out with someone else."

There. And we didn't even mention the allegations of "high class prostitution" with Adnan "I-Sell-Arms-to-3rd-World-Countries-to-Compensate-For-a-Little-Dick" Khashoggi. More (ThisisLondon)

Will Dick Run



(image via kleincreative)

Time Warner's suave, goddam he's suave, CEO Dick Parsons leaves the Chattering Classes to wonder still if he's going to be running for the Mayoralty of New York (Along with Congressman Weiner, the perpetual also-ran). From Crains (via fishbowlny):

"Time Warner Chief Executive Richard Parsons continued to leave the door open to a possible mayoral run once his contract expires in 2008.

"Asked about his political plans at a Baruch College forum Wednesday morning, Mr. Parsons avoided giving a direct answer but also didn't rule anything out.

“'It's not smart to let people push you [into a decision],' he said, explaining why he planned to take time to 'cool out' once he leaves the media giant. 'It's much better to go off somewhere and clear your mind and figure out what to do next.'"

Pimp move, Dick.

Newco: "This is Obviously Not a YouTube Killer"



Once again Staci D. Kramer of Paidcontent is on top of the conference call with News Corp. COO Peter Chernin and NBCU CEO Jeff Zucker from the Fox lot today. The nebulous rumors have cleared up somewhat. As the LATimes reports today, the NBCU and Fox joint venture should start at the end of the summer. Some of the conversation via Paidcontent:

"(Chernin on YouTube): 'This is obviously not a YouTube killer. It it were .. we’d obviously have a standalone site ... We’re obviously willing to meet with anybody' who meets business and copyright requirements. They have already talked to Google/YouTube this morning.

"Zucker: 'We are open for business with everyone.'"

Well, thus far not everyone. One of the intriguing parts of this equation was would Fox be willing to put up clips from "American Idol," the most successful show on tv:

"... Chernin said American Idol is not on the table for the new venture; Fox doesn’t control the web rights."

But:

"... Chernin and Zucker said all the content providers will be treated the same. Zucker said the company will have independent management. Chernin: 'You’re not going to see us push NBC or Fox ahead of anyone else.'

"Why now? Zucker: 'It couldn't have fallen apart because it didn’t exist.' They said what really brought it together—as reported earlier—was the distribution partners."

"Chernin:'It would be a mistake to assume it was a reaction to Viacom lawsuit.'"

No, but that billion dollar lawsuit had to have some effect on the timing of this announcement, considering it has been rumored for 4 months. For the full story from Staci D. Kramer here (Paidcontent)

Also: LAT

WSJ

Dick Morris: Gore Won't Run



Today we venture into the fevered, moist imaginings of Dick Morris (Eew). Look past the rather unremarkable-looking Virginia Call girl, and into the very shaft of "Dick", the Heart of Darkness ("Mistah Kurtz, he dead!"). Of course, this blog post has to do -- tangentially, at least -- with hillary, although the prinipal subject is Al Gore. From TheHill Blog:

"Al Gore could have run in 2008 and could have beaten Hillary. But he dithered so long and sent out such negative indicators that he has blown his opportunity. Barack Obama, catching on in the polls and closing the gap with Hillary to single digits, has, quite simply, sucked all the oxygen from the room.

"By contrast, the Republican primary voters are practically begging for an alternative to Rudy and McCain and would flock to a new candidate like Fred Thompson should he decide to run.

"It’s a shame about Gore. He’s well-qualified, would be a very good president, and would have a very good chance of beating Hillary. But Obama moved out to run when he hung back, and there isn’t enough momentum to go around."

True to form, for a blog post about Al Gore, Hillary Clinton's name is mentioned more often than the former Vice President's. Way to control that Obsessive-Compulsive-Thingie, Dick; you do your thing. More (TheHill)

Larry Birkhead Claps His Hands and Says Yeah



Who knows who the BabyDaddy of Dannielyn is? We did learn, however, that David Lynch was ultimately correct about there being a Hell of a lot of weirdos in the United States. How many freaks did Anna Nicole frequent? Even OJ Simpson had a brief, filthy cameo in the trailer trash production of "It's Your Life" that immediately followed Anna Nicole's questionable exit. Now, this. From WashPo (thanks to wonkette):

"A Bahamian judge ordered a DNA test yesterday for Anna Nicole Smith's infant daughter, the Associated Press reports. Larry Birkhead, the photographer who has been challenging Smith's paramour/lawyer Howard K. Stern for paternity, jumped and pumped his fists in the air as he left the courtroom."

You do your crunk, Larry; you .. do .. your crunk.

Fox-NBCU to Rival YouTube-Google?



Rupert on YouTube

This is one of the most nebulous of Web 2.0 stories out there but also potentially one of the more significant. Even the intrepid gang at paidontent haven't been able to pin down any of the details. And yet, after more than 4 months of speculation this thing will not die down. From the irrepressible Staci D. Kramer of Paidcontent:

"It’s the JV proposal that will not die, kind of like those marsh fires that look like they’re out and flame up again unexpectedly. The idea of a News Corp.-NBCU joint venture that would aggregate and distribute video in counterpoint to Google-YouTube has been circling around for months; at one point, Viacom was reported to be in discussions but never got on board. Externally, 'Newco' seemed to be close to dormant; internally, though, I’m told another big push is on to get it done to the point where I have heard from multiple sources it could happen this week. Then again, it’s as likely to fall apart as it is to happen."

The strangest part of the story is that Viacom will not take part in it. Viacom is all but moving the pillars of heaven to cirvcumvent YouTube.

The full story (paidcontent)

Total Request, Eh, Not-So-Live



In what can only be properly construed as a blow to the Youth by the Methuselan Viacom overlord Sumner Redstone, who was unhappy at the Frestonian rate of return in the previous regime. They pinch pennies at Viacom so hard that Lincoln has been known to sqeal! From Gliteratigossip:

"'TRL' is going back to the days of 'TR' now.

"In a last-ditch effort to hang onto memories of success and to conserve whatever relevancy the show has left, MTV has announced that its once-flagship show 'TRL' will no longer be live...totally.

"With waning public interest and ratings nosediving, the show was already truncated to four times per week this season and now it's cut to two, sort of.

"'TRL' now tapes live twice a week on Mondays and Wednesdays and immediately following those broadcasts, episodes for Tuesdays and Thursdays are taped.

Don't expect any changes or mentions of it though. Spokeswoman Marnie Black says:

"'We're not editing anything. We're not changing anything. The spirit of the show is going to be exactly the same.'"

More (Gliterattigossip)

Corsair Classic

Picture Pages, Picture Pages



Ballbuster Jada "Stinkett" Smith applies some "wicked wisdom" across the chops of Will Smith, installing a new Willenium. (image via people)



You'd better be ready to, be ready to jump. 21 Jump. Street. (image via wireimage)

Pete Doherty's Homemade Crackpipe



(image via fashionverbatim)

The history of celebrities and crackrock is lurid. Chris Rock, lately of the bomb "I Think I Love My Wife," slung crack and had his own extra-crispy recipe (It's all in the vitamin B-12, people). So does Fitty Cent (Fitty prefers to lace his rock with Baking Soda). Now, Pete's innovations on the theme of the Crackrock. From Gatecrasher:

"Inexplicable Kate Moss boyfriend Pete Doherty distinguishes himself in the new issue of Vogue Hommes International by pulling out a crack pipe during his interview at the bar of Claridge's hotel in London.

"'I always stumble back into it sooner or later, even if it's for a half hour a day,' he says of the pipe, made from a miniature Martell Cognac bottle.

"Doherty .. also talks about the petty subway crime and prostitution he has engaged in to feed his habit.

"'There was no shame, because I kind of knew they were just lonely pissed-up old queens. And 20 quid was a lot of money!'"

One almost is charmed by the ingenuity it took to craft a crackpipe out of a Martell Cognac bottle. Almost.

Jim Cramer's Thumoeidetic Fuck-Up



(embed via jossip)

Plato introduced us to the dangers of Thumos, or, hyperagressiveness (for further reference see: the floor of the New York Stock exchange), which, while necessary to corpore sano compos mentis as well as a healthy society, can be dangerous if left unchecked. Jim Cramer is Thumos unhinged, unregulated, or, in Plato's words, "like a wild beast about to spring" (336b, Plato's Republic). Boo-Ya!! From those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"In the video from TheStreet.com's 'Wall Street Confidential' Webcast, Cramer boasts about manipulating the price of a high-flying stock down, and even acknowledges that doing so might have been illegal. The video is making the rounds on YouTube.

"'A lot of times when I was short, I would create a level of activity beforehand that would drive the futures. . . . It's a fun game,' Cramer said in the Webcast, which was moderated by TheStreet.com Executive Editor Aaron Task.

"Cramer later said that 'no one else in the world would ever admit that, but I don't care.'"

Nice. Also noteworthy (FishbowlNY)

(Dealbreaker)

Is Gonzales "The Departed"; Is John Danforth "The Insider"?



What a difference wording makes. What is the difference between departing, and being fired? That's the question -- well, one question anyway -- that the DC Chattering Class is trying to figure out.

As Drudgereport reports, "Senate passes legislation to end Gonzales' authority to fill U.S. attorney vacancies without Senate confirmation." Up until the day after the 2006 Mid-Term elections, The President was considered a man of his word. Then he fired Rumsfeld, without warning. That's politics; The President is obviously still a man of his word, but we cannot take him literally anymore with regards to his cabinet dealings with the political realities of the entropy of a Second Term winding down and an oppositional Congress. Now, as The President signals his "support" of Gonzales, CBS News' Katie Couric reported on Friday that Gonzales was going the way of Rummy. But now we learn he will not be "fired." He might depart. Vive la difference. From Politico:

"President Bush this morning telephoned Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, one of the few remaining Texans who came to Washington for Bush's first term, to try to buck up his friend after word leaked that GOP officials operating at the behest of the White House have begun seeking a possible successor.

"The president called Gonzales from the Oval Office at about 7:15 a.m. 'They had a good conversation about the status of the U.S. attorney issue,' deputy White House press secretary Dana Perino said. 'The president also reaffirmed his strong backing and support for the attorney general.'

"A Republican source said Tuesday that Bush is 'unmoved' and that Gonzales will not be pushed or fired, but instead will depart if he concludes he has lost his effectiveness because of the furor over the firing of eight U.S. attorneys.

"At the same time, the president will be prepared if Gonzales steps aside. Republicans close to the White House continued to discuss potential replacements, including John Danforth, an Episcopal minister and former Republican senator from Missouri."

As they say in Hollywood, "Perception is reality," so, if Gonzales goes, he wasn't "fired," he "departed." Well-respected on both sides of the aisle, Ambassador Danforth, should he follow Attorney General Gonzales, will face no trouble with confirmation.

Corsair Classic

Les Moonves, Master of the Universe, Wants Ambassadorship to Spain



When moguls crave to bathe in careening waves of "La Gloire" they veer towards the Ambassadorship to the Court of Saint James, the highest position among the American emissarieships. The problem is that with a international power prestige post like that, the work-to-fun ratio -- always significant to a mogul -- is forbidding. One might actually have to break a sweat, and, worse, break a sweat over the salary of an Ambassador.

Doubtful!

Likewise with Ambassadorships to Russia, China, and Japan (Fritz Mondale gave Tokyo political star wattage), where the future of the world is actually at stake.

France has distinct possibilities. The second most successful courtesan in History -- Livia Drusilla of the Julio-Claudian dynasty was the most -- Pamela Harriman classed up that joint; as did Van Galbraith under Reagan. The spectacular residence is enough to make even the most jaded trophy wife glow with admiration and pride after her husbands exquisite political acumen. But there, too, there is much diplomacy to be done; Paris and Berlin are also important posts -- at the red-hot center of European Union intigue. Better to stick with a lower first tier Ambassadorship with little geopolitical seriousness: one with castles, excellent cuisine, Old Master Art, and, of course, an A-list band of Euroroyalty to add to one's collection, something ... like ... Spain (Yeah, that's the ticket).

A Spanish Ambassadorship is the perfect dose of Gloria. From Cindy Adams:

"CBS' Les Moonves sending word he'd renounce his multimillions salary to make a hot buck-and-a-quarter as U.S. ambassador to Spain. Spain's embassy practically has no seventh floor since that's where all the area secrets lie. The post is prestige and big-time glory. He wants it."

We can already see Moonves and Julie Chen lounging, nut-brown tanned, with King Juan Carlos the Brief, absorbing his sangfroid. Part the Next: Will the ineffective amiable dunce and former Speaker of the House Denny Hastert ever get his dream Ambassadorship to Japan? Doubtful!

Correction Emma Watson DOES NOT Quit The Harry Potter Franchise



(image via Newsoftheworld)

Apologies. Emma Watson will not quit the Harry Potter franchise. Serves us right for trusting Newsoftheworld.

From The Jet Set: Kate Moss, Pete Doherty in April Vogue Covershoot



Apparently, Anna Wintour, the former lover of Bob Marley, finds blogs to be louche (or at least grammatically improper), but thinks a Vogue photo shoot for the crack-chic couple of Pete Doherty and Kate Moss is copacetic. Better hide the silverware for that little camera-fest, Anna -- especially the spoons! From Fashionweekdaily:

"Those who couldn’t get enough of Pete Doherty on the cover of Vogue Hommes International’s Spring/Summer issue can look forward to the April issue of Vogue, which features the Babyshambles frontman and Kate Moss’ first official shoot together, photographed by Mario Testino in a London nightclub and personally overseen by Anna Wintour."

We'll see if even Testino, the frequent Versace lenseman, can brighten and "Versacify" the dark and gritty nimbus that hangs messily about "Moss and Doherty, Inc (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)."

Rookie Mistake: Obama Loses Support of "The Group"



Being a charismatic silver-tongued smoothie like Barack Obama is a double edged sword. That very charm and newishness that catches the G-spot of the Party can impede the candidate and make him make mistakes that the seasoned pol might never make. Alexander Bolton, that noteworthy journo from TheHill writes:

"Sen. Barack Obama’s (D-Ill.) presidential campaign may have missed out on millions of dollars by failing to return the calls of a small group of highly influential donors and operatives in New Jersey.

"The high-rollers, having waited in vain for more than a month for Obama’s campaign to get back in contact, signed up to support Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.).

"The coterie of Garden State Democrats supporting Clinton, which calls itself 'The Group,' plans to hold three fundraisers in April and May and to raise about $2 million for her campaign before the Feb. 5 state primary, said its leaders.

"Knowing that only three states raised more money for Sen. John Kerry’s (D-Mass.) presidential race in 2004, this year’s crop of White House hopefuls courted The Group intensely, particularly in light of its decision to switch to the early-primary date in February, a few weeks after the Iowa caucuses.

"Sens. Clinton, Joseph Biden (D-Del.) and Evan Bayh (D-Ind.), former Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.), and New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson (D) each met privately with The Group. Biden even invited its members to his home in Delaware and spent six hours trying to convince them to support him.

"The Group includes John Graham, co-chairman of Kerry’s 2004 campaign in New Jersey, and Al DeCotiis, who served as New Jersey co-finance chairman for former Vice President Al Gore’s 2000 campaign and former President Bill Clinton’s 1992 and 1996 campaigns.

"Before The Group decided whom to support, it tried for several weeks to get in touch with Obama but never received a response. 'They never got back to us,”'said DeCotiis, The Group’s co-founder, who said it tried to contact Obama’s campaign for 'five or six weeks' at the beginning of the year."

Oopsie. More here.

Steven Bochco Wants To Create A Scripted Series For the Net



Steven Bochco, the hard-boiled, ham-fisted creator of such varied fare as Hill Street Blues and, more disturbingly, Commander-in-Chief, wants to create an internet scripted series. According to paidcontent:

"Over the past two decades, Steven Bochco’s productions shared a network with programming like The Cosby Show and Cheers. Now, with Bochco’s first internet venture on Metacafe, which starts running today, his productions are going to be placed alongside videos with titles like Gorilla Prank and Russian Wedding Catfight.

"... Bochco also sat down with THR for a Q&A , saying that at some point he’d like to try producing a scripted series for the net, though he cautions: 'It’s a very different enterprise than that which you would pursue if you were doing it on a television template. It’s not as simple as saying, ‘I’ll take an hour television show, 10-hour TV show or whatever and split it up into little two-minute segments and just parcel them out in a serial fashion.’ First of all, the internet won’t support the kind of budget—one generally associated with making more complex, bigger stories—at least not at this time. So it’s a little tricky, but it’s very doable. It’s just that you have to really sit down and think that through. Anybody who thinks they can take an episode of CSI and chop it into 2 1⁄2-minute segments and put it out there and expect anyone to be interested is kidding themselves. By the way, I think it would be more likely to be done by a so-called amateur than by a production company or somebody like me because you really do have to do it on a shoestring. You can’t overproduce those kinds of things.”

The Full Story (Paidcontent)

Senator Hatch Endorses The Spectacular Evil of Mitt Romney





"When the Jews return to Zion/And a comet fills the sky/And the Holy Roman Empire rises/Then you and I must die." from The Omen

Senator Orrin Hatch, so ancient as to be invisible, has endorsed our favorite unspeakable evil, Mitt Romney. From TheHill:

"Former Massachusetts governor and GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney on Monday received the endorsement of Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah).

“'Governor Romney has the leadership qualities we need to bring real change to Washington,' Hatch said. 'At a time of unprecedented challenges, we need to elect an innovative problem solver like Governor Romney.'

"The senator, who like Romney is Mormon, cited Romney’s 'vision' and his record as governor as additional reasons for his support."

You have got to be impressed with the neck-snapping evil of Romney. Of Romney we have scribbled:


"- Not since Lucifer fancied himself more competent at Galactic Administration than that Invisible Sky God of Abraham has a political player been so, well, so positively frisky in his black devisings. But why are we "hating" on the brother; Why is The Corsair trying to nip Romney in the bud?"

Altogether now (Byzantine; in the key of D Minor): Romney's power grows stronger than stronger ... his power lasting longer than longer ...!