Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



The Graydon Carter Hair Analysis, Tribeca Edition: Naive, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption. (image via fashionweekdaily)



David Spade: Man-Bitch, par excellence. (image via wireimage)




I prefer my South American peasants sauteed, with a gin fizz.(image via NYSocialDiary)



Ludacris. (A considerable pause) Accurate call, but he loses a letter grade for the unexceptional grammar. (image via wireimage)



Nancy Collins nods benignly at her umpteenth indecent ass-fucking by a millionaire proposal of the evening. (image via nysocialdiary)



Underneath the polished and moisturized surface you know, in your heart of hearts, that Ryan Seacrest's proper place in this world is as a private dancer. (image via wireimage)

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...


Kimora Simmons and Dick Parsons. Too easy. We have standards, you know.(image via wireimage)



In a rare colectors item photo: Jenny McCarthy with her mouth closed. (image via wireimage)

Corsair Schedule Slowdown

It's been a glorious 3 years or so, blogging daily. Some might argue that getting on the glorious Page Six, which this blog did yesterday, is a high note. That may be our cue to exit, stage right, on top, like so many sitcoms ought to have after Season 7.

Blogging daily has been wonderful. Fun. Therapeutic. Exhausting.

But what began as taking 2 or three hours a day has metamorphosed -- and flowered -- into a whole days worth of writing, six days a week. And while we do love doing this, we would also like to have more time for paying freelance assignments, which, you know, pay rent (which is a good thing). At the present blogging/freelance pace, that is impossible.

So, this blog is going to come at a much slower pace. Maybe a few postings a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. And, as a result, we intend to keep the Ron Mwangaguhunga byline coming to you, this time via magazines and papers and projects and whatnot. This blog has, among other things, allowed me to show what I can do, and, in the process, I had a damn good time doing it. I am not an ass-kisser (It goes aginst my genetic coding), and this blog was -- and is -- my way of getting my name to The Editors without compromising my integrity (Or, my lack of talent at kissing ass). If you are, incidentally, an editor, lit agent, &c. with an assignment for a witty Ugandan-American with a hankering for mischief, you can reach me at: papermag@yahoo.com.

I'm going to miss the daily interaction of blogging greatly. And, no doubt, when someone like Charlie Sheen calls Denis Richards a f*ckin* n**ger, well, I am going to want to have my daily regular audience, which, alas, I will not. Although I have never gone cold turkey with Crack, something tells me this blog-withdrawal is a not dissimilar process. Believe me: If there were any way to blog and make a decent living I would blog entirely. In a heartbeat. Without question. But that is not the present situation.

I would like to send a special shout out to my magnificent blog wife, Miu at Socialitelife, whose attentive links have been invaluable. Thank you, darling. I'll never forget.

For everyone that has supported me over the years and is now hurt by this development I want to say Thank You, and, Don't be that Way. Come on. Remember the good times we had. The laughs. The sex by the veranda in the evening thunderstorm. You are so not over me. Don't write me off. I'll still be around. Just not 6 days a week writing 2,000 words. Smile a little when you see my byline and remember me at my best.

Again, thanks for the support,
I am always,
Your Corsair,
Ron Mwangaguhunga

xoxo

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



In an upcoming episode of "Punk'd," Ashton Kutcher is dowsed with water and thrown into a vat of pubic hair. Hilarity ensues. (image via style)



When LL Cool J holds his head aloft just so, the wind rushing from hither to thither from within the cavernous empty spaces of his head pumpkinhead create a most arresting wind-chime effect. (image via wireimage)

A Little of the Old In and Out




(image via 21.cnbj)

In: Steve Berkowitz. Microsoft's gain is Media Titan Barry Diller's loss. Berkowitz jumps from IAC to the MSFT campus in Redmond, Washington. Gates, incidentally, after delivering a characteristically crypric response -- think: "The Road Ahead (just enough to please the techie Libertarians, and not enough to piss off China)," the cryptic-est of all tech pseudo-"Bibles" -- to the Chinese President, is, ironically, greeted like a rock star in, of all places, Vietnam. According to his bio, "Ask Jeeves has more than doubled its revenue since Berkowitz came on board." to Rafat Ali at the necessary Paidcontent:

" ... Steve Berkowitz is joining Microsoft as the VP in charge of MSN, the Microsoft division that includes the MSN Internet portal and search businesses.

"Berkowitz is currently the CEO of IAC�s search business (Ask.com, primarily)..he was AskJeeves CEO prior to the sale of the company. He will replace Microsoft Senior VP David Cole, who Microsoft announced last month will take a leave of absence from the company starting in May.

"Berkowitz will report to Kevin Johnson co-President of Microsoft�s Platforms & Services Division, which houses MSN and the Windows product groups. He will start May 8. Prior to Ask/IAC, Berkowitz was the President and COO of IDG Books, where he was loooking after the 'Dummies' series."



(image via 21.cnbj)

Out: Charlie Sheen. (The Corsair gathers his forces) Let's see. So ... Charlie Sheen likes Hookers, Blow, Gambling, Underage Gay and Straight sex videos. Is anyone here -- in this most cynical space in the blogosphere -- surprised? He's Charlie Fucking Sheen, after all. Frankly, we are offended by the relative tameness of it all. The Corsair expected something decidedly more Satanic. Human sacrifices. Bestiality. Lunches with Harvey Weinstein. That sort of sinister Hollywood Activity. But this? Lightweight. Amateurish, even.

And, while we're at it, Why do we assume that Charlie Sheen is capable of Love. Love is a human emotion. Ascribing those possibilities to a semi-savage like Sheen, who, it appears, is only capable of financial taransactions with his lovers. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) A prudent judge would ban him from the ceremony of Marriage.

This is the man who advised Kato Kaelin (Averted Gaze), while glomming off his "temporary chic," on becoming famous, to write checks when making major purchases because, oftentimes, one's autograph is more important to the owner of said paper than the actual amount on the chack. It all adds up, you see. (Averted Gaze)Charmed, I'm sure. Says TheSmokinggun:

"In a searing court attack on Charlie Sheen, actress Denise Richards alleges that her estranged husband is unstable, violent, addicted to gambling and prostitutes, and visits pornographic web sites featuring young men and girls who appear underage. In a remarkable sworn declaration (a copy of which you'll find below) filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, Richards also charges that Sheen, 40, assaulted her and threatened her life during a December 30 incident at the actress's Los Angeles home. Richards claims that an enraged Sheen--who was over for a visit with the couple's two children--told her she was 'fucking with the wrong guy' and called her a series of vulgar names in front of the children. The actor, Richards said, then shoved her to the ground and screamed, 'I hope you f--king die, bitch.' As Richards, 35, tells it, Sheen was angry because she had told her divorce attorney about discovering details of Sheen's porn-surfing practices. Richards's declaration, filed in support of her request for a restraining order against Sheen, contends that Sheen 'belonged' to 'disturbing' sites 'which promoted very young girls, who looked underage to me with pigtails, braces, and no pubic hair performing oral sex with each other.'"

This is the same Charlie Sheen, BTW, who used to ask Heidi Fleiss to send over girls in Catholic school girl skirts, right? (TheSmokingGun)

As you can see, Charlie Sheen is a class act. He is a strong argument AGAINST child stars.



(image via inhope.org)

In: AOL Does Social Networking? NewsCorp's savvy purchase of MySpace has left the remaining few social networking destinations feeling, one imagines, quite salivated over. Think: an Angelina Jolie poster in a men's -- or, for that matter women's -- prison. MTV is eyeing Friendster so hard that the eye rape charges could be brought to court shortly. So, why don't the big cats in the digital jungle simply go in-house, as, apparently, AOL presently intends. According to Techcrunch (link via FishbowlNY):

"AOL may be preparing to launch a Myspace-type social network sometime in the next few weeks, says Dave Winer.

"This went from rumor to 'confirmed likely' in posts and comments by Jason Calacanis and Jordan Running (also here) (both now at AOL). A comment in the last link suggests that the new service will be open to non AOL members.

"This market is red hot. Mature players like Facebook and Fox-owned Myspace basically own their respective categories, and better-featured (and funded to the hilt) newcomers like Tagworld and Tagged gunning for the big guys. Even aging Friendster, mostly written off as living dead, has made a recent (if quiet) comeback based on Alexa stats."



(image via diplomacy-archive)

Out: Diplomacy. Historically, the issue of Ambassadorships have been a sore spot for the Bush family. Bushies tend to reward loyalty -- without any regard for political timing -- rather than talent with regards to the doling out of Ambassadorships, those joys of the jet-set's career desirings (To wit: World-Class courtesan Pamela Harriman, former Ambassador to France).

Hungary, unlike, say, the festive Bermuda (Or, for that matter, the High Society's fave -- Lichtenstein), is a particularly important post-Cold War station. A steady hand is needed to navigate the interests of that region of the world. We are not quite sure that the President's "Ex" is up for the job. (Averted Gaze)

Still, The President wants it to go to his ex-girlfriend. According to the perfect Dickensian villain, Robert Novak:

"President Bush, frustrated in efforts to make ex-girlfriend April Foley the head of the Export-Import Bank, has decided to name her as U.S. ambassador to Hungary without formally announcing it.

"The top Ex-Im job was vacant for months when the Justice Department took a long look at Foley's financial records. Her proposed nomination is in the hands of the Hungarian government, as was reported by that nation's press.

"Although she is not related to U.S. President George W. Bush, like her immediate predecessor [Amb. George Herbert Walker],' said the Budapest Business Journal, 'Foley's appointment would follow a tradition of having a trusted old friend of the Bush family at the helm of the embassy.' Bush dated Foley when they both were students at the Harvard Business School."

With an approval rating of just above 33-percent, it is not inconceiveable that this issue -- a perennial weakspot for the Bush clan -- might flare up again.

Rerun Dancing


The Corsair loves youtube:

Corsair Exclusive: Mr. Marcus Speaks On: "Superhead"



(image via photorazzi)

The Vivid Video featuring Mr. Marcus and the infamous "Superhead" is out. Bill Maher's ex, Usher's ex, even Fred Durst's ex -- let's face it, lots of people's ex -- as well as bestselling author, Karrine Steffans is back in the public eye yet again. So we asked legendary porn star Mr.Marcus what was up with that? Like, we wanted to know, was, uh, "Superhead" a professional at giving, uh, a professional. "Professionalism?" replied Mr. Marcus via email, "For her performing for the first time on video I expected her to be nervous, but instead she was very confident and very relaxed. I guess you could say professional."

Next we wanted to know, is the name all hype?

Mr. Marcus: "She is as skilled as the name suggest. I think it's because she likes doing it. That has always been the difference when it comes to sexual women, they really excel at things they enjoy doing ... sexually."

The Corsair: How did the decision to release the film come about?

Mr. Marcus: "I've had a relationship with Vivid for over 10 years so it was very easy to go to them and say 'your sitting on something I think you should take a look at'. The idea to re-release the scene was in the works way before the book and other appearances by Karrine. It just gained momentum when she raised her profile. Steve Hirsch is one of the smartest guys in adult and Vivid has built a brand that is leading the way into mainstream, I look to be apart of that ... Again, I look forward to doing work and business with people or companies who have positive ideas concerning adult. Especially black adult.

The Corsair: And, finally, is there someone you haven't worked with that you'd like to work with?

Mr. Marcus: "For the not so distant future, how about an acting job working with Spike Lee? Is that too much to ask for? Hope not."

And you thought Denzel Washington was "The Inside Man."

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



Remember that episode of "The Facts of Life" where Tootie was a little bit too enthusiastic about a Jermaine Jackson Concert, and you were like: Who in their right minds would go crazy over a fucking Jermaine Jackson concert? Was Asaad Kelada on peyote? That was kind of like this guy. (image via thecobrasnake)



Uh, Yes you can quit me, Heath. And, quite frankly, these calls are freaking me the fuck out.(image via ohnotheydidnt)



Judge not lest ye be judged. You too might drink to wretched excess if you bore as striking a resemblance to P Diddy. (image via thecobrasnake)



A propos of that: John Stamos, adrift on a sea of monsterous non-knowledge. (image via wireimage)



They help. Like, for instance, when she has to count to two. (image via thecobrasnake)

A Little of the Old In and Out



Revenge of the Nerds. (image via apple)

In: JJ Abrams. His resume is impressively Sci-Fi: "Alias" writer, "Lost" creator, MI:3 scripter; now add Star Trek to his bio. Considering the growing power of Science Fiction and Fantasy in film in this fast-moving digital age, re-igniting this dying franchise has a certain poingnance. According to GuardianUnlimited:

"Mission: Impossible 3 director JJ Abrams is to take the helm of the Starship Enterprise as work gets underway on Hollywood's 11th Star Trek instalment.

"Chiefs at Paramount Pictures are compiling an aggressive line-up of potential blockbusters and know the sci-fi franchise has been an enduring earner.

"Studio executives have earmarked a tentative 2008 release for the film, an origins story that shows how James T Kirk and Mr Spock meet at Starfleet Academy and go on their first assignment."



(image via ohnotheydidnt)

Out: Paula Abdul Got Knocked the Fuck Out We shouldn't be laughing at this. We know. Human pain and suffering, yadda-yadda-yadda. At the risk of drawing bad Karma, we've secretly wanted to toss her a stiff right cross for at least a decade. Maybe more.



(image via magazines)

In: The TVGuide Blog. TV Guide has been adrift for some time now. Beseiged on all sides like a Crusader castle. It went from being a comprehensive digest -- the type favored by serial killer types -- to a vaguely irrelevant entity. But now they made the pimp move. From Paidcontent:

" ...And here we complain that traditional media does not embrace blogs..TV Guide has gone berserk and started 65 of them at one go! (That�s the first time I�m using the exclamation mark in a long long time, so you know what I mean).
These blogs are written by its magazine and online editorial staff�specific show blogs, like my favorite show Grey�s Anatomy blog (it sucks that the show is off until April 30th, and ABC has even stopped updating the official blogs and podcasts..that was a huge opportunity for them, to keep the fan�s interest alive online).

"Back on track, on TVGuide.com, thers are more like commentary columns in blog form, written by columnists who cover entertainment news, TV pop culture, celebrities, movies and soap operas. Users can add comments to blogs and create their own blogs on the site. Online community operating firm LiveWorld will provide moderation services."

More here.

Jamie Foxx: What Goes on In the Boudoir Stays in the Boudoir



(image via deadbodiesinc)

Obnoxious Oscar winner Jamie Foxx had a saucy London vacation. According to the 3AMGirls:

"...The actor turned R&B crooner managed to pull FIVE ladies on a marathon bender in London on Wednesday

".. The 38-year-old singer flew in to perform at record label RCA's relaunch party at Cafe de Paris in London, and it wasn't long before he started rounding up lovely ladies who had taken his fancy."

Oh (Rxaggerated cough suggesting deigned detachment), there's nothing fancy about it, we assure you:

"Before he went on to play, he asked a flunky to clear away any men from the front of the crowd and replace them with women."

Then, it a fit of perverse whimsy, Jamie Foxx turned water into wine and provided loafs of bread and baskets of fish for the worshipful onlookers.

"And after he got the screaming ladies eating out of his hand, he selected four - including an Italian and a South American - to escort him to his private lair backstage."

"Beefy minders stood guard in front of the locked door to the opulent V-VIP room, which had four double beds covered with red velvet sheets, strewn with rose petals."

-- Soon to be annihiliated, to be sure, and declared biohazardous material.

"To complete the saucy setting,"

-- and, we assure you, "saucy," is le mot juste:

"... the secret chamber - filled with bottles of Cristal champagne - was lit with dodgy red lights.

"For over an hour, no one was allowed to disturb the love-in and when we cheekily asked what was happening, a flunky replied: 'What goes on in the boudoir, stays in the boudoir.'"

But what is left in the boudoir multiplies at bacterial velocity. More here.

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



Time flies when you're smoking crack. (image via wireimage)



It isn't so much that Gene Simmons is exceptionally greedy, per se. It's the cost of industrial strength black hair dye. (image via wireimage)




The reporter's joke about Menudo spelling "Men-u-do" was entirely lost on Ricky Martin. (image via aolcelebrity)




Will Smith in Israel. O Lord, Hasn't Mighty Jerusalem suffered enough? (image via aolcelebrity)



Benneton's Carlo Tunioli and Tina Brown don't know how the game of Patty cake began, all they know is that to stop now would mean the Death of Meaning. (image via NYSocialDiary)

Madeline Albright Can Leg Press 400-lbs!!



Do not let this woman mule-kick you. (image via scfu)

From, of all places, Editor and Publisher, via Drudgiue-Poo:

" In an interview in the The New York Times Magazine that will appear this coming Sunday, Madeleine Albright reveals, among other things, that even at 68, she works out three times a week 'and I can leg-press up to 400 pounds.' This follows a discussion of how she does not expect to re-marry, partly because, as she says, 'I'm intimidating, don't you think?'"

Nah. Impressive, to be sure: but we know an ex "Thick Legs" contest winner in Brooklyn who can crack a Macademia nut between the fleshy part of her thighs.

The Jake and Jackie Show



(image via 923freefm)

If you read this blog you know that The Corsair is a fan of the Jake and Jackie show on 92.3 FM, 11 pm to 3am. It is a whimsical blend of out-there, innovative sketch humor from the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater with a decidedly New York edge. On any given night you can hear anyone from Monk co-Executive Producer, the very cool Tom Scharpling to the brilliant Michael Musto, to the smooth Chuck Nice of Best Week Ever. These guys are the future of terrestrial radio.

If you haven't heard them we strongly suggest you subscribe to the Jake and Jackie iTunes podcast here. You'll be glad you did.

Lunch at Michael's




(image via chriscaffery)

The nice weather seems to have brought out variety (and, yes, that includes Ex-Variety publisher, Michael's regular Gerry Byrne) at the media power watering hole. Our favorite social chronicler David Patrick Columbia was at Sotheby's, leaving his strategically well-placed table to the NYPost's Keith Kelly. And Clinton's fixer, Vernon Jordan, as always, likes the ladies, yes he does. Radio pioneers, editrixes, producers, museum presidents and fashionista's -- and a Nobel Prize winner -- all showed up today to be duly recorded and boldfaced by the FishbowlNY's Greg Lindsay thusly:

"Table 1: Dominick Dunne, in the Dominck Dunne suited uniform, with Diane Diamond and another woman who seemed to appear halfway through the meal."

Were they talking Michaelangelo? We'd expect no less from Dunne, a former toyboy of Anais Nin (he met Anais Nin at Gore Vidal's house in Guatemala in the 50s).

"... 3. Time Inc. editor-in-chief John Huey with an intense-looking guest whom everyone noticed and yet no one seemed to remember...

"4. Former Clinton cabinet member (and legendary charmer) Vernon Jordan with a beautiful woman who also did not go unremarked upon, nor was she identified, either.

"..7. Despite the 70-degree heat today, the imperial Andre Leon Talley was wearing a mesmerizing tan crocodile coat (Prada, of course) and his companion, Manolo Blahnik president George Malkemus, was wearing a powder blue sweater tied around his neck.

"...19. The Celestine Prophecy producer Beverly Camhe and we don't know who else.

"Back room: We're told Gabe Pressman, Howard Stringer and Agnes Gund were there."

For the full, unexpurgated dose of media crack go here.

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Miuccia Prada.When not Baptizing boats in Valencia, Miuccia Prada -- a favorite among Conde Nasties -- parties with 1500 of her nearest and dearest friends. From Fashionweekdaily:

"Nearly three years after Miuccia Prada hosted a grand party at her SoHo Epicenter locale�celebrating her then partnership with jeweler Fred Leighton�the revolutionary designer continues to prove that no one can quite pack �em in like she can.

"... Holding court on the wooden steps on the massive wave stage, Miuccia enjoyed a birds-eye view of the sweeping scene. With a seemingly never-ending supply of buffet counters bearing shrimp cocktail, raw oysters, and enough alcohol to supply Manhattan until 2010 (including a delicious Ginger Cooler), Andr� Balazs (with daughter Alessandra in tow), Amy Sacco, Amy Wesson, Grace Hightower, Iman, Richard Gere and Carey Lowell, Jane Mayle, Lindsay Lohan, Anna Wintour, Glenda Bailey, Damon Dash and Rachel Roy, Kelly Klein, Jeff Koons, Matthew Modine, and Jacquetta Wheeler all flocked downtown for a first look at the more than 100 different skirts from the last 17 years on display, and, as Dash put it so matter of factly, 'to give Miuccia props.'"

Indeed. More here.




Linds leaving the SNL afterparty. (image via wizbang via thesuperficial)

Out: Lindsay Lohan. We were somewhat confounded at the rationale behind having Lindsay Lohan appear for a third time on SNL. Isn't that supposed to be reserved for near-legends? Granted, the drastic weight differential between her first and second visits made for some riveting viewing, but, now, really. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) According to MedialIfeMagazine:

"Lindsay Lohan is still hot stuff in the tabloids, but her popularity as a TV guest seems to have cooled right along with her flagging movie career.

"With Lohan as host of 'Saturday Night Live' over the weekend, her third such stint in two years, the show averaged just a 5.1 metered-market household rating. That�s down 18 percent from a 6.2 for Lohan�s last appearance on the show, when she hosted last year�s season-ender in May.

"It�s also well below the averages posted by less-publicized hosts such as Jack Black, whose appearance with Neil Young in December averaged a 6.1, and Steve Martin, whose 14th hosting gig in February averaged a 7.0."



(image via fashionweekdaily)



(image via amazon)

Alos Out: James Blunt. Jesus, we loathe this shmaltzy ratbastard. And he keeps on practcing his wanton ratbastardy, inmolested. (The Corsair sparks a Cohiba Esplendido) We loathe him on the perfectly justifiable logic of jealousy, that great motivator of the blogiverse. On popbitch tday, the lead quote is, "'It didn't get me the girl back but it did get
me laid.' - James Blunt, on You're Beautiful." MotherFuck--! This, coming after his public dumping over, in part, his cheating on his ex with the comely Tara Parker-Tomkinson and, quite possibly, tsunami survivor Petra Nemcova.

Ratbastard!

Opie and Anthony to Replace David Lee Roth



The whole Stern versus Moonves versus CBS Radio feud got a lot more interesting this morning, as Opie and Anthony, nemeses to the Stern Radio Show, are booked to compete in morning drive time as early as May. As if that weren't intense enough, Opie and Anthony will remain on XM Radio, the direct competitor of Sirius satellite radio (Stern's gig), running an FCC-friendly sanitized version while promoting the rival station on terrestrial airwaves. According to Blabbermouth.net:

"According to Hits Daily Double, CBS Radio's Joel Hollander has made a deal with XM Radio to replace David Lee Roth with Opie and Anthony. Look for the High Voltage duo to return to the terrestrial airwaves on CBS' N.Y., Philly and Dallas' Free-FMs as well as WBCN Boston, WNCX Cleveland, Pittsburgh's K-Rock and West Palm Beach's The Buzz. They will also continue to be heard on XM channel 202."

This, from a Corsair February 21 post:

"The relatively serene space of satellite radio is about to be filled with the cacophony of insane violence. (The Corsair pours himself a glass of Chateau D'Yquem) Here's the backstory: Howard Stern was the primary influence on Opie and Anthony, their symbolic radio father, but when the two brash radio pranksters started gaining buzz and ratings -- mostly by talking on-air about the goings on on the Stern Show, extending his bits -- Howard angrily demanded of Mel Karmazin that the duo be barred from mentioning his show on air. Soon afterwards they were kicked off of Infinity radio to the gloating of an obviously pleased Stern. In that time, the talented Opie and Anthony, who regard themselves as the heirs -- pretenders? -- of Stern, have grown bitter and remarkably resourceful.

"In the old days there would be no competetion between the two. On terrestrial radio, Stern had over 10 million loyal listeners. That was then, this is now; Howard Stern is, essentially, starting from scratch (he has now about 2 million satellite listeners; Opie and Anthony, who have been in the space almost a year, have probably about the same, perhaps a whisper less). The young and ambitious Opie and Anthony are the rogue-rebellious Shakespearean Princes trying -- perhaps in vain -- to dethrone the rightful King of all Media, Howard Stern, whom, they contend, is past his prime."

And what does Howard Stern think? Other than his telling Sumner Restone to Shut his F**ing Mouth? From Marksfriggin:

"Howard explained how Opie and Anthony were fired from CBS a few years back because they had some fans having sex in a church one time. That really pissed off the catholic church and now CBS is going to put them back on the air and it looks like four Jews, Sumner Murray Rothstein (Redstone), Steve Lehrman, Joel Hollander and Leslie Moonves putting them back on the air and ignoring what they did to the Catholic church. Howard said that those guys are underestimating what that means and it's a real surprise to him. He said that it will be the ultimate end to Joel Hollander's career.

"Howard said that he hands it to Clear Channel because they rebuilt their company in a new way by going in a new direction. CBS isn't doing that, they won't just move on and forget about him and his show. Howard said that they will probably get some ratings going over there at FreeFM but it won't last in the long term. He said that they didn't even give David Lee Roth a chance to get any ratings before they revamped his show and buried the guy.

"...Gary said he has a friend who was offered some work with David Lee Roth's show and he was told that they were guaranteeing that they were going to keep Roth on for 3 years. Now, just 4 months in, Roth is gone."



Oh, it's on, it's on like Gray Poupon it's so on.

Howard Stern to Sumner Redstone: "shut your Fu**ing mouth... a**hole"



(image via theadvocates)

Howard Stern has, at various times, described his media strategy aginst Viacom as a multi-dimesional chess game. Recently Howard said (hat tip to Marksfriggin), "(Howard) explained ... that he was taught the game of Chess as a child and used that in his career so he's always six moves ahead of people in his life." The "I Hate Les Moonves" tour, for example, is considered "Stage 1." We can hardly wait for what stages 2 and 3 are, because the rhetoric has been upped into the media ionosphere (BTW: Where the fuck are the Vanity Fair and New York Magazine pieces on this fiery feud?). Today, Stern went ballistic over the Sumner Redstone Newsweek interview. From Marksfriggin:

"Howard brought up Les Moonves, Joel Hollander and now Sumner Redstone. He said that Sumner's own family members sue him because he's such a scumbag. He went off on that guy for a short time saying that they're like a bunch of gangsters over there at CBS. He said that Sumner Redstone is a Jew and he wanted to know what his real name was. He said that he's a Jew who's embarrassed to use his real name."

(The Corsair lets loose a slow, long whistle) But wait, it gets more intense:

"... Gary came in and showed Howard an article about how Sumner and Les use the company jet for personal reasons. Howard told him that there's more to that than he thinks and he will expose more in the future. He continued to go off on Sumner and how he's a self-hating Jew. He told him to come forward and change that name back to what it was, he probably only has a year left to live anyway.

"... He said that Sumner Redstone came up to him just a few weeks ago and congratulated him on his move to satellite. Now he's in the news talking about how they're going to win their case against him. He obviously didn't know about the lawsuit and he should keep his mouth shut if that's the case. He told him to ''...shut your fuckin mouth... asshole.''

Howard seemed to catch himself and backtracked a little. Later on in the show:

"Howard said that he sometimes loses his temper on the air and he always had a good relationship with Sumner but he hates when they go out and say stuff about him in the news. He said he wasn't backing down, he just gets very angry when this stuff comes up. He said he feels like he built that radio division over there. This is such a nasty payback for all the work he did for them."

As we said, if this is "Stage 1" of Howard Stern's multidimensional chess game, we can't wait to hear what "Stage 2" is. (markfriggin)

A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via nndb)

In: Mark Zuckerberg. Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, is, at present, like the girl that everyone wants to take to the prom. Even as everyone in the digital space scrambles for the television industry (and vice-versa), Facebook still has major buzz. Do you hear that sound? It's the sound of MTV's Judy McGrath salivating. According to Rafat Ali at Paidcontent:

"So as I mentioned first here about Greylock, all the speculation has come to rest: the social networking site Facebook has closed $25 million in funding, from Greylock Partners, and includes earlier investors, Meritech Capital Partners, Accel Partners and PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel. Facebook had raised about $13 million earlier from Accel and Thiel.

"SiliconBeat: 'It has never been our intention to sell the company,' said Melanie Deitch, Facebook's director of marketing, adding that the latest funding puts the rumors of such a sale to rest. Which of course is a outright lie...it has been shopped around, for sure, so I don't want to hear 'oh-we-were-only-testing-waters' spiel.

Quick, start a social networking site. Immediately. With even minimal buzz you'll probably sell it for a few million. Seriously. More here.



(image via amazon)

Out: James Blunt. Shmaltzy dickhead crooner James Blunt (you're beautiffuuul ....")is, according to Britisher Tara-Palmer Thomkinson, a two timer. Says the 3AMGirls:

"Tara got jiggy with James ... in New York, unaware he was with girlfriend Camilla Boler, 24.

"'One thing I will say is I was never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, told by James Blunt that there was a girlfriend. One thing's for sure I don't think I did anything wrong.

"'I was deceived by this guy and that's it.'

What's more:

"'I mean all the stuff about how I went to America, and I did this and I did that, I was never told there was a girlfriend, in fact James told me he had split up with her at Christmas."

"It turns out the ex-Army man hadn't said Goodbye My Lover to Camilla and was still seeing her when Tara flew out to the Big Apple to be with him last month. The pair enjoyed a night of passion and Tara was said to be "besotted".

"But yesterday the 34-year-old blasted: 'I don't know a James Blunt, I only know a James c***.'"

(A considerable pause) Alright then. Camilla Bowler, of course, announced she's dumped the douchebag. She is now in Spain, recovering.



Gigi and Brian, in happier days. (image via z.about)

In: Socialite Divorces. It's the "In" thing, socialites splitting up. We were actually saddened to hear of the separation -- link via gawker -- of Brian Grazer and his superhott writer wife, Gigi Levangie Grazier, who, ironically, anticipated this unfortunate state of affairs in her latest book "The Starer Wife." They seemed like the perfect power couple. Add to the list Ron Perelman and Ellen Barkin (messy), and, arguably, Russell Simmons and his ultramaterialistic wife, Kimora (less messy). Raoul Felder and his colleagues are probably swimming in cash these days. Fashionweekdaily notes, "W staffer Marshall Heyman is currently working on a piece about socialite divorces (he was recently seen chatting up Tory Burch at New Yorkers for Children)"

And says our favorite and wise social chronicler David Patrick Columbia in NYSocialDiary:

"Marriage is big news in this land of divorce. A year or so ago, it was Tiffany and Louis Dubin. A couple of months ago it was Ronald and Jo Carole Lauder after many many years. A couple of weeks ago it was Alex and Nathaniel Kramer after a few years. Then it was Chris and Tory Burch after a little more than a few years. Both of these were blind items (together on the NYSD a couple of months ago). Now it�s Valesca and Mathias Guerrand-Hermes. After a few years. And there are more in the pipeline according to my little birdies.

"'Why?' people ask. Why not? We live in a society that eshews permanence, tradition, roots. We live in a society where if a family sits down at table together once or twice a week on a steady basis, it is something for the New York Times to write about. We live in a society where as individuals we are isolated by our technology, even, ironically, our communicative devices. Cell phones are instruments of alienation. And very popular.

"NYSD covers a world where women go out without their husbands to major social events. And frequently. Interestingly it�s rarer to see a husband out without his wife.

"People pass judgment on this ('she�s always out without her husband, what can she expect?'). But judgment is a moot point. It is the way of the world, different from our ancestors (and even our mothers and fathers) maybe, but the Way It Is."

More NYSocialDiary here.

Will Tony Snow Replace McLellan?



(image via theadvocates)

Major buzz is surrounding Fox News' intolerably bland talking head Tony Snow -- watching plants produce oxygen is more exciting than watching this dude -- as a possible replacement for outgoing White House Press Spokesman Scott Mclellan. Josh Bolten is cleaning house, yo. What is most interesting is that McLellan himself described the rumors of the winds-of-change as "inside the beltway babble," and the Vice President recently did "Face the Nation" eschewing the notion entirely. (Averted Gaze) And, interestingly, the once all powerful Karl Rove is giving up oversight of policy development. Hmm. Looks like Bush, who in 2000 was a ferocious critic of Clintonian Governance-by-the-Polls is starting to resemble his former nemesis. And that's not a bad thing -- when not done to excess -- as we do live in a Democracy, despite the efforts of our neo-Federalist Vice President. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Says Foxnews:

"The White House discussed the possibility with Snow as recently as this week.

"Snow, who hosts 'The Tony Snow Show,' once served as a speechwriter for President George H.W. Bush.

"Other people have also been approached about the position, including former Pentagon spokeswoman Victoria Clark and Dan Senor, the former Coalition Provisional Authority spokesman in Iraq, who served the U.S. civil administrator in Iraq, Paul Bremer.

"McClellan, who has been press secretary for two years, refuses to speculate about his own future. But he has acknowledged that he has held the job for 'a long time.'"

It would be intriguing to know if Snow gets the job despite his pessimism that the white hot issue of immigration lacks political traction. The big question, though, is who will be the "elder staesman" type Congressional liaison? That will be an incredibly important position considering the near lame duck condition of the President among Congressional Republicans. And can you blame them? The President is at an historical low in popularity while they hav e to run for re-election in 2006. Here are some of our picks for the "Congressional Ambassador":

The Machiavellian Former Secretary of State James Baker: 11-1
Respected former Minnestota Congressman Vin Weber Odds: 10-1
Well-liked Law and Order actor, former North Carolina Senator Fred Thompson: EVEN MONEY
Folksy supply sider and former Senator Phil Gramm: 8-1

WYSWYG Talent Show, Tonight



(image via wysiwygtalentshow)

No posts today. Way too nervous. Come by if you can, but don't take it personal if The Corsair briskly bolts towards the exit as soon as the show is done. Shy, you know?

Tuesday, April 18, at 8:00 p.m.
aT the Bowery Poetry CLub
308 Bowery @ Bleecker
Tickets: $7
212.614.0505

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



Tori, or, with only a whisper of delicious irony, "MissSpelling." (image via junk-mag)



Denise Richards, as always, feverishly en route to wherever it is black people are. (image via yahoo)



In another horrifying second, a nauseous Wallace Shawn will reveal, in all its insidious viscosity, the regurgitated components of his Dinner with Andre ...

(image via nysocialdiary)



After reciting the necessary formula for conjuration supplied by his Lord Baphomet, a mindless piece of Satanic armcandy will silently materialize into Russell's weak, veal-like grip. (image via yahoo)



Carmen Electra emotes ...(image via wireimage)

Sumner Redstone: "There's No Chance of Me Retiring"



Hell, no, he won't go. (image via newsweek)

Methuselan Master of the Universe Sumner Redstone, who, legend has it, fought valiantly in the Punic Wars (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), is putting the kibosh on any unsettling rumors that he will relinquish the Wagnerian Ring of the Niebelung to his daughter, Shari, early. And -- you'd better duck -- he's tossing aside some serious feline references in the process. According to Newsweek:

"Newsweek: Any chance that you'd hand over your post to your daughter, Shari, short of dying?

"Sumner: How do I look to you? I get up in the morning everyday at 5 o'clock ... I'm on a bike for 35 minutes, exercising. I then swim a number of laps. I'm very conscious of nutrition and exercise. I don't remember a time in my life when I felt better. I've lost over 15 pounds recently. You know why? Starved cats live longer than fat cats, and I would prefer to be a starved cat. There's no chance of me retiring."

Testy! But if we were to compare Sumner with a cat -- starved or no -- it would be our favoritest song-and-dance cat of all, the ratlike Andrew Lloyd Webber's finest T.S. Elliot-inspired creation: Old Deuteronomy. Says Catanna:



(image via catanna)

"Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time/
He's a cat who has lived many lives in succession /
He was famous in proverb and famous in rhyme/
A long while before Queen Victoria's accession /
Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives/
And more I am tempted to say ninety-nine/
And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives .."

Granted, the Wifeys were not so much buried as they were well-compensated. Still, sounds like Our Sumner. (Newsweek)

A Little of the Old In and Out



In: David Zucker. David Zucker's clustered sketches have organic American roots in the comedies of The Marx Brothers. The Airplane! helmer is back atop the Hollywood food chain with the monster opening of "Scary Movie 4," which set an Easter weekend record, providing comedy to a nation in sore need of some laughs. It seems sometimes that the worse the political landscape, the more America needs Zucker comedies (Airplane, curiously made it's debut during the apex of the last US-Iranian crisis). From Ron Dicker of the San Francisco Chronicle:

"There are no rules against flatulence in David Zucker's family. The louder, the better.

"'I'm the one who leads the charge,' the 58-year-old director says. 'I'm the one who says, 'Pull my finger.' Farting is fun.'

"Zucker, the creator of 'Airplane!' and 'The Naked Gun' series with brother Jerry and pal Jim Abrahams, mixes low-brow and high-concept like nobody's business. In more than a quarter-century of spoofing films and other pop culture targets, he is the undisputed pasha of parody, the sultan of send-up.

And, from the AP:

"With the success of Scary Movie 4, Bob Weinstein said he hopes to have a fifth film in the horror-spoof franchise in theatres over Easter weekend next year. Weinstein said director David Zucker and writer Jim Abrahams would team up again for the next sequel."



Sorry, John. As a black man, I can't relate. (image via browndailysqueal)

Out Secretary John Snow. The writing's on the walls if only Secretary of the Treasury John Snow would read it. Fatigue sets in after any President's first term. This President, particularly, suffered a rough one (9/11, Katrina, Iraq) Unfortunately, despite the momentous challenges, the inner circle of the Bush Administration, in it's second term, remained -- until the infusion of Bolten -- virtually unchanged.

The Vice President -- small "c" conservative in the worst sense -- eschews change, going so far as to satellite the Sunday Talking Head programs saying as much. (Averted Gaze) Finally cooler heads have prevailed, and the Administration finds itself in the process of advocating change. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Joshua Bolten, the new Chief of Staff, is looking to oxygenate the embattled Administration with some fresh ideas and voices. From the AP:

"Signaling a possible shake-up among President Bush's senior advisers, the new White House chief of staff told top presidential aides Monday to expect changes that 'refresh and re-energize the team.' He invited anyone who is thinking of leaving before year's end to do so now.

"Joshua Bolten, who took over the top staff job late Friday, did not ask for anyone's resignation in his first Monday morning staff meeting with the president's senior aides, presidential spokesman Scott McClellan said. No one stepped forward to say they would leave, either, McClellan said.

"But Bolten has Bush's full authority to make changes to the president's staff, which has had a low turnover rate, with many aides serving him for years. Bolten already has had closed door meetings with some top advisers and plans more in the coming days, McClellan said.

"McClellan said Bolten told the aides to expect 'some changes and adjustments' after he's gone through the process of talking to the staff. At the same time, McClellan said that 'you have to balance change with continuity.'"

We're hearing former Senator Phil Gramm at Treasury and former Senator Dan Coats or as "Ambassador" -- liason -- to Congress (as countervailing force to 2006 lame duckiness). And for Defense, Lieberman, bipartisan a la William Cohen, is a perennial. Other names bandied about are Minnesota supply-sider Vin Weber, Law and Order's Fred Thompson, who was a North Carolina Senator, and former Secretary of State James Addison Baker.



(image via partypoofers)

In: Mediatakeout.com. The Corsair's brother Fred Mwangaguhunga of LaundrySpa is branching out to African-American pop culture news with Mediatakeout. A sample of the headlines, "Mike Tyson Checks Into Rehab For Cocaine Addiction...," then, just as quickly, "...Tyson Quits Rehab..."

And: "Creator of Good Times And Cooley High Living In Homeless Shelter.. "

More here.