A Little of the Old In and Out



(image via usembassy)

In: Ambassador R. Nicholas Burns. (Cue: a blast of French Hunting Horns) The game's afoot! The influence of Holbrooke ally and Princeling, Ambassador Burns, in the corridors of power at the State Department, has drawn the attention of the perfect Dickensian villian, Robert Novak. (The Corsair pours himself a glass of the Black wine of Cahors, elixir of Popes) Hyperattuned to the eccentric rhythms of Power, Rovak writes:

"The U.S. decision last Thursday not to seek a seat on the new United Nations Human Rights Council followed a week of frantic backstage conflict. Beyond human rights, this was the overriding question: Does Nick Burns run the State Department? The outcome of the U.N. dispute indicates that he is not in absolute control but is mighty influential.

"R. Nicholas Burns is a 50-year-old senior foreign service officer who was named undersecretary for political affairs, third-ranking at State, to begin President Bush's second term. Behind the scenes, he fought hard for the United States to take part in an organization it had just voted against on grounds it would not keep out the worst human rights abusers. (Cuba and China are expected to win council seats soon.) With Bush's political appointees in the national security apparatus opposing Burns, his failure was cloaked in language intended to trivialize the decision.

"News accounts did not even mention Burns. He flies below the radar in controlling State Department policy on many issues beyond human rights. Inside the Bush administration, Burns is seen as guiding the nation's course on Iran and Korea. His influence on Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is so surprising that critics use the word Svengali."

"Svengali"?! (The Corsair gathers his forces) Just what the fuck is "Rovak" insinuating here? (Averted Gaze) Condi only has love for tickling the ivories. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Still, as daffy and impotent a proposition as the UN Human Rights Council is (the disgusting tyranny of Mugabe's Zimbabwe was a member at one time, as well as Sudan), it is better to be involved, influencing its shadowy maneuverings with our Soft Power, than to allow the dragon China to mesmerize it -- in keeping with the Svengali reference -- into its lengthening sulfurous orbit.

And this belated ascent of "Diplomacy" -- it took Bush five years to understand the nuances of the concept -- especially with regard to resolving Iran, highlights the fiery rise of .. Burns. For The Corsair believes that Seymour Hersch's terrifying New Yorker report that "earth penetrating weopons," or mini-nuclear bombs, might be used to hit strategic underground targets in Iran to prevent the acquisition of nuclear wepons may just be a strategic "mock charge (met, as paranoiac tyrannies are wont to do, with false intelligence)," the ultimate maneuver in the game of nuclear brinkmanship, precisely calculated to rasp Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Hersh, an excellent journo, may have walked into the strategy and got "spun" unawares. But the story serves United States interests, presenting the regime in Iran with the ultimate of ultimatums. Or possibly not. Rational decision-making and Religious Fundamentalism don't mix well.

Tonight Ahmadinejad addresses his country; he will do so as "the voice of Islam," a position he has coveted for many, many years. Let us all hope that Iran blinks. follows the path of peace, accepts the Islamic symbolism of the color white. But if Ahmadinajad rattles sabres --as we predict -- follwoing the Islamic symbolism of the color green, and threatens the West (or, just as bad, Israel) with another Crusades, Hersch's speculation becomes devastating reality. We are in the hour of the wolf.

America needs the steady hand of Nicholas Burns now more than ever.



(image via nysocialdiary)

Out: David Lee Roth. The LATimes (via iwantmedia) asks a very pertinent question mumbled by the Chattering Classes over their Cobb salads at Michael's, namely: Where did Howard Stern's listeners go? We know he took two or three million with him to Sirius, but the article wonders after the other 10 million. And the story ends, acidly, with a scathing -- but probably accurate -- assessment of David Lee Roth's future on CBS Radio:

"Can millions of listeners just disappear?

"... According to industry analysts, the new Stern math scans something like this: At best, he took between 1 million and 2 million listeners with him, and his replacements, spread across many of the country's major radio markets, are drawing numbers in a similar range.

"That leaves 8 million to 10 million nomadic listeners nationwide wandering the terrestrial radio dial in search of a new voice or sound to lead them out of the morning drive-time wilderness. Call them the Howard Stern diaspora, those legions unwilling to fork over satellite subscription fees and unimpressed by pretenders to the throne.

"The timing could scarcely be worse for terrestrial radio, which needs an oversized, rudderless audience now like it needs another intriguing and easy-to-use competitor � say, an iPod, podcasts, personalized CDs or, Stern notwithstanding, the siren songs of satellite.

"'It's unprecedented that a radio personality of Stern's magnitude has ever just pulled the plug on his show,' said Perry Michael Simon, news-talk-sports editor of AllAccess.com, an online journal of the radio industry. 'We're really in uncharted territory here.'

"With limited ratings data so far, it's hard to tell where the Stern herd is roaming and where big portions of it might ultimately settle, say analysts. But Arbitron ratings clearly demonstrate they aren't stampeding toward Stern's big-name replacements, former Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth...

"... 'I think CBS is already trying to figure out an exit strategy with Roth,' said Michael Harrison, editor and publisher of the talk radio magazine Talker."

The full article here.



(image via paulscheer)

In: Matt Lauer. Everyone came out of the Katie Couric musical chairs game with their heads held high. And we do not mean --snark alert! -- to suggest here that Lauer, in particular, held his head high to shield his retreating heairline from general view. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) I guess we now know what Lauer and Jack Welch were talking about at davidburke & donatella last week when Lloyd Grove reported:

"The night before Katie Couric announced her departure from the 'Today' show and officially launched the long goodbye, co-host Matt Lauer hunkered down at davidburke & donatella with Jack Welch, retired chairman of NBC's parent company, General Electric. A Lowdown spy spotted the two, minus their wives, huddled in a banquette. 'They were having what seemed to be a very serious conversation at dinner, but when they left, they were all smiles and shaking hands with the staff,' the spy reports. 'The waiters were saying how it's always a pleasure to see Matt.'

Contract hardball probably ensued. Evidently, Welch gave Lauer some solid advice (Making sure, perhaps, he got more money than Vieira?). From the Old Gray Lady:

"Just as Katie Couric of the 'Today' show was agreeing to go to CBS last week, and Meredith Vieira of 'The View' was agreeing to replace her, Ms. Couric's low-key co-host, Matt Lauer, made a decision securing his own future.

"Mr. Lauer and NBC have agreed to add three more years to his "Today" contract, which was to expire in 2008. He will be paid more than $13 million a year, according to a person who was officially briefed on the deal but not authorized to disclose it � at least a million dollars a year more than Ms. Vieira and in the range of what Ms. Couric has made at NBC.

"And if he fulfills the terms of the contract, staying until spring 2011, Mr. Lauer will have spent more than 14 years on 'Today,' which would put him close to eclipsing Ms. Couric, who at a little over 15 years is the longest-serving anchor in its history."



Since when are weak chins sexy? (image via yimg)

Out: Matthew Perry. Please .. help The Corsair to understand what it is about this man that is considered sexy. Is it the "Friends" money? Is it the obnoxious lack of a chin? What? Tell me. Because, according to the 3AMGirls:

"MATTHEW Perry has lots of lady Friends. A few weeks ago he was dating actress Piper Perabo.

Now he's been spot ted with ex-Sex And The City star Kristin Davis. 'They first met at their LA gym and were seen splitting an ice cream at La Dolce Vita restaurant,' says our mole.

"'They looked very into each other.'"

Is it the pill addiction in the recent past? Is it the penchant for stinky movies? Wha-a-at? (Averted Gaze) Come on, baby: Tell me.



(image via artnet via lachappelle)

In: La Dolce Musto. We have been reading Musto since college, but his intro to today's La Dolce Musto is not inconceiveably the filthiest and most shocking and most wonderful of them all. (A long, slow whistle) We cannot even begin to relate how bewilderingly filthy this shit truly is. In due course, we learn more about the "geography" of Miss Amanda Lapore's brand-spanking new pussy than we ever thought or cared to know. And yet, in the able hands of Michael Musto ( pun entirely intended), he makes the coochie -- so to speak -- sing, to wit:

"Downtown clothing entrepreneur PATRICIA FIELD opened a new boutique, then feted it at Capitale, where the HOUSE OF NINJA vogued on platforms, KIM AVIANCE did runway on a treadmill, and every drag queen who's ever worked for Field trotted out a lip synch and a toast (most of them between 10 and 11 p.m., when there was open bar). Transsexual diva AMANDA LEPORE announced, 'My pussy and Pat Field are the two hardest-working cunts in show business!' as the crowd welled up with misty admiration. Later on at Cuckoo Club, Amanda toasted herself by blurting to me, 'I did my pussy lips today!' And just what does that entail, darling? 'Well,' she said, 'there's a doctor who injects your pussy lips with fat. But you have to have the fat taken out of your stomach, and that leaves a scar.' Bummer. Not an option. Not to mention the fact that Amanda has no fat on her stomach. 'That too,' she said. "So I had silicone put in, and it looks great!' She blithely lifted up her dress as everyone within a cunty mile yelped with eye-popping delight. 'It's fabulous!' I shrieked, something I don't always exclaim about vaginas. It was ripe and firm, and even smelled vaguely floral."

Jesus fucking Christ. Just when you thought the bar had been set, Musto ups the ante. Give Michael Musto a Sirius satellite show, please. The full, brilliant filth here.