Teresa Heinz-Kerry: What the Fuck?!
From this week's Time Magazine:
Teresa: When I was in Switzerland in college, my budget was $250 a month for everything, and I managed fine.
TIME: What did you have to do without?
Teresa: For instance, one day a week I would not eat protein because I needed to buy a flower in the middle of winter. I would have to buy a rose or something that would take me to the outdoors.
What the f@ck?!
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Monday, July 26, 2004
Ed Note: Defamer readers: The Christina Applegate and Ben Affleck story is right here
Ann (Coulter) in the Can; (Michael) Moore on the Floor
Drudgereport.com leaves us to contemplate today the positively hideous twin images of, "MOORE ON THE FLOOR, BUT ANN IN THE CAN," with all the caps out and the freak flag flying at full mast. (The Corsair shivers in horror) Let the record state, however, true believers, that The Corsair has neither interest in Coulter's "can," (averted gaze) nor "Moore on the floor," (exaggerated cough, feigned detatchment) to be quite frank. It's just all so hideous, people:
"... Leftwing controversialist and Bush hater Michael Moore has free reign on the floor of the Dem convention hall -- and has been hired to write for USA TODAY at the Republican convention! 'Coulter has been hired for Boston, Moore has been hired for NY,' a USA TODAY source explained, unaware of the fallout with Coulter in Boston.
You've got to love Drudge, even if he appears, on his site, to be in a constant state of anxiety and exasperation, with all those all caps invective flying. Now, Drudgie Poo takes the time out to defend his equally exasperated pal, Ann Coulter:
"USA Today editors have spiked a daily convention column they commissioned from conservative controversialist Ann Coulter, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned. Coulter filed her first report from Boston Sunday night, only to be told hours later that editors found it 'unusable' and 'not funny.'
"'Apparently no one at USA TODAY had ever read Ann Coulter before!' Coulter, who has sold nearly a million copies of her various works and his written a syndicated column for five years, said from Boston."
Drudge has a point: play fair USA Today people, equal time for all: If Moore is covering the Republicans, then you should allow Coulter to do the same for the Democrats, with, of course, the caveat that the opinions of neither not reflect the usual cheesy cookie-cutter editorial opinion of your national "paper."
Update: The column may, ultimately, be published (link via Romenesko).
Ann (Coulter) in the Can; (Michael) Moore on the Floor
Drudgereport.com leaves us to contemplate today the positively hideous twin images of, "MOORE ON THE FLOOR, BUT ANN IN THE CAN," with all the caps out and the freak flag flying at full mast. (The Corsair shivers in horror) Let the record state, however, true believers, that The Corsair has neither interest in Coulter's "can," (averted gaze) nor "Moore on the floor," (exaggerated cough, feigned detatchment) to be quite frank. It's just all so hideous, people:
"... Leftwing controversialist and Bush hater Michael Moore has free reign on the floor of the Dem convention hall -- and has been hired to write for USA TODAY at the Republican convention! 'Coulter has been hired for Boston, Moore has been hired for NY,' a USA TODAY source explained, unaware of the fallout with Coulter in Boston.
You've got to love Drudge, even if he appears, on his site, to be in a constant state of anxiety and exasperation, with all those all caps invective flying. Now, Drudgie Poo takes the time out to defend his equally exasperated pal, Ann Coulter:
"USA Today editors have spiked a daily convention column they commissioned from conservative controversialist Ann Coulter, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned. Coulter filed her first report from Boston Sunday night, only to be told hours later that editors found it 'unusable' and 'not funny.'
"'Apparently no one at USA TODAY had ever read Ann Coulter before!' Coulter, who has sold nearly a million copies of her various works and his written a syndicated column for five years, said from Boston."
Drudge has a point: play fair USA Today people, equal time for all: If Moore is covering the Republicans, then you should allow Coulter to do the same for the Democrats, with, of course, the caveat that the opinions of neither not reflect the usual cheesy cookie-cutter editorial opinion of your national "paper."
Update: The column may, ultimately, be published (link via Romenesko).
Ed Note: Defamer readers: The Christina Applegate and Ben Affleck story is right here
Offer Nader the Attorney General Position
The Corsair would like to offer this free advice to The Democratic Party, now meeting in Boston, solemnly, to coalesce its scattered forces for the final November War: Offer Ralph Nader the Attorney General position.
You know that this crotchety old man covets this position, mouth watering, eyes agog with lust. He savors this tasty little morsel; one can almost imagine Nader praying lyrically to dark ancient gods -- intoning softly, rhythmically, intensely -- all this after being named the Attorney General of the United States, targeting multinationals at will. Nader has spent his entire life -- from his graduation from Harvard Law School to the authorship of Unsafe at Any Speed, to his creation of the "Nader's Raiders," to the endless Public Interest Research Groups (PIRG's) -- all this after a position of leverage in The Law. Nader translates his monastic disdain of romantic love into the single purpose of corporate scrutiny.
All of these inventions, all of this groping around in the ethical gray areas of the mechanisms of American capitalism, all this in the search of an Archimedian point on which to stand and remake the world into his image, a world where corporations are as hard on themselves as the conscientious Lord Ralph is, perhaps, on himself. That, true believr, at least in theory.
Nader is a threat to John Kerry, to be sure. He is a spoiler twice, a gadfly from the far flung left, and a harvester of radical youth discontent with roughly three percent of the electorate in his thrall. Nader is in the red-bronze twilight of a somewhat useful career as a consumer advocate. He knows this is his last hurrah, his last chance to the dance, and, secretly, I believe, he was tickled in a perverse way by his role as a spoiler in 2000. Nader was tickled, I believe, as an obscene poster in a chat room might be, or a graffiti artist having at a virginal, clean wall might be (uhm, or so I hear ...)
For the first time in his lonely and bitter struggle against Tha Man, the CEO's, the Masters of the Universe, he made a difference, he was a blip on the national radar, rather than some slightly unsavory B-Lister on the Georgetown social set. He was not irrelevant. History would remember him, if only as an asterisk. Ivy League political science theses would herald him as a legitimate force.
At the beginning of the 21st century, it should be noted, Attorney generals -- like urban mayors in the mid 90s, in the wake of Federalism -- are the new black. Eliot Spitzer has made the position hugely relevant. The CEO, as a sociological curiosity, is getting close scrutiny; they are no longer viewed as untouchable, invincible. Business journalism is all the rage. Public outcry is against the excesses of business -- think: Martha, Kenny Lay, and all the rest. An Attorney General of any state can make a difference -- how much greater the Attorney General of the United States?
How could Nader refuse this opportunity -- if presented reverently by, say, Howard Dean -- to be useful to the consumer on such a massive scale. Nader's psychology demands this validation. His ego, properly massaged, would allow him to step down gracefully, giving an extra convention bounce. As pollster Mark Mellman writes in The Hill:
"Going into the 1992 Democratic convention, Bill Clinton was running third and Ross Perot was in second place, garnering 30 percent of the vote. During the convention, Perot dropped out, temporarily increasing Clintons margin by 28 points. Clintons gain had less to do with the convention and lots to do with Perot"
So, what's the worst that could happen? The cantankerous Nader has as much a chance of surviving a Senate confirmation hearing for the AG position as Howard Stern has of getting inducted into the National Organization of Women. But if you won't say anything neither will I.
Offer Nader the Attorney General Position
The Corsair would like to offer this free advice to The Democratic Party, now meeting in Boston, solemnly, to coalesce its scattered forces for the final November War: Offer Ralph Nader the Attorney General position.
You know that this crotchety old man covets this position, mouth watering, eyes agog with lust. He savors this tasty little morsel; one can almost imagine Nader praying lyrically to dark ancient gods -- intoning softly, rhythmically, intensely -- all this after being named the Attorney General of the United States, targeting multinationals at will. Nader has spent his entire life -- from his graduation from Harvard Law School to the authorship of Unsafe at Any Speed, to his creation of the "Nader's Raiders," to the endless Public Interest Research Groups (PIRG's) -- all this after a position of leverage in The Law. Nader translates his monastic disdain of romantic love into the single purpose of corporate scrutiny.
All of these inventions, all of this groping around in the ethical gray areas of the mechanisms of American capitalism, all this in the search of an Archimedian point on which to stand and remake the world into his image, a world where corporations are as hard on themselves as the conscientious Lord Ralph is, perhaps, on himself. That, true believr, at least in theory.
Nader is a threat to John Kerry, to be sure. He is a spoiler twice, a gadfly from the far flung left, and a harvester of radical youth discontent with roughly three percent of the electorate in his thrall. Nader is in the red-bronze twilight of a somewhat useful career as a consumer advocate. He knows this is his last hurrah, his last chance to the dance, and, secretly, I believe, he was tickled in a perverse way by his role as a spoiler in 2000. Nader was tickled, I believe, as an obscene poster in a chat room might be, or a graffiti artist having at a virginal, clean wall might be (uhm, or so I hear ...)
For the first time in his lonely and bitter struggle against Tha Man, the CEO's, the Masters of the Universe, he made a difference, he was a blip on the national radar, rather than some slightly unsavory B-Lister on the Georgetown social set. He was not irrelevant. History would remember him, if only as an asterisk. Ivy League political science theses would herald him as a legitimate force.
At the beginning of the 21st century, it should be noted, Attorney generals -- like urban mayors in the mid 90s, in the wake of Federalism -- are the new black. Eliot Spitzer has made the position hugely relevant. The CEO, as a sociological curiosity, is getting close scrutiny; they are no longer viewed as untouchable, invincible. Business journalism is all the rage. Public outcry is against the excesses of business -- think: Martha, Kenny Lay, and all the rest. An Attorney General of any state can make a difference -- how much greater the Attorney General of the United States?
How could Nader refuse this opportunity -- if presented reverently by, say, Howard Dean -- to be useful to the consumer on such a massive scale. Nader's psychology demands this validation. His ego, properly massaged, would allow him to step down gracefully, giving an extra convention bounce. As pollster Mark Mellman writes in The Hill:
"Going into the 1992 Democratic convention, Bill Clinton was running third and Ross Perot was in second place, garnering 30 percent of the vote. During the convention, Perot dropped out, temporarily increasing Clintons margin by 28 points. Clintons gain had less to do with the convention and lots to do with Perot"
So, what's the worst that could happen? The cantankerous Nader has as much a chance of surviving a Senate confirmation hearing for the AG position as Howard Stern has of getting inducted into the National Organization of Women. But if you won't say anything neither will I.
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: LA.com's blog. Let's break for a second to consider Hollywood and not Washington for a second (And, incidentally, of Tinseltown, mirabile dictu, Fashionweekdaily reports: "Soho House is scouting spots for their L.A. outpost and calling in the opinions of fashion insiders to see if they should actually make the move out west," which means, of course, that leaky air conditioners can now leak on you on both coasts). Anyhoo: The LA.com blog gives us this deliciously nasty blind item:
"Dolly wonders how long that fresh, funky movie star will get away free and clear before someone busts her Winona-style for her light-fingered ways. All her friends know that she has such a mania for keeping her sensitive skin looking great that she seeks out the best spas and salons for facials and treatments wherever she goes. But though she makes plenty of moolah, she just loves to snake expensive skin care products when the busy facialists and salon owners aren?t looking. Recently at a Santa Monica spa, she got caught red-handed with a bagful of pricey product and, being famed for her skill at improv, she quickly spun a tale to the beautician about how she only put the goodies in the bag so that she could remember exactly which items had been used on her so she could buy them before checking out. They didn?t buy it any more than we do, but they let her slip that one time. "
Out: Bonnie Fuller. Can she get more out after the public excoriation by Vanity Fair? Possibly. But she has the cunning of Machiavelli with regard to damage control in the wake of Star Magazine's tough gossip, and the fostering of future goodwill among those A-Listers. According to Fashionweekdaily's Daily Spy:
"It looks like Bonnie Fuller has found a novel way to ensure she has at least a friend or two in Hollywood, in her continual efforts to win over celebrity flacks despite the damaging stories Star magazine does on their clients. Fuller has apparently hired top PR firm PMK /HBH, which reps everyone from Jennifer Aniston to Gwyneth Paltrow, to handle PR for next month's Star-sponsored premiere of 'Growing Up Gotti,' A&E?s new reality show vehicle for Star writer and mob daughter Victoria Gotti . Considering the often antagonistic relationship between PMK/HBH and Fuller?Gwyneth Paltrow once referred to her as 'the devil' and Paltrow?s rep Stephen Huvane seems to support that view?it's surprising that the company took the job at all. 'It must be costing Bonnie?or should we say David Pecker?a bundle,' says one insider."
In: Terry McAuliffe. Despite the fact that, in many ways, the Clinton loyalist is DNC Chair in name only, todays Washington Post hails him, thusly:
"(McAuliffe) forced a controversial change in the primary campaign schedule and pressed state chairmen to give up exclusive control of their voter lists. He also invested millions in a new headquarters, and gambled that the party could mount a challenge to the GOP's three decades of dominating fundraising.
"Every one of these high-risk tactics paid off. The schedule change gave Kerry time to raise more than $200 million; the DNC now has a voter list with information on more than 170 million people, which allows the party to develop its own direct-mail donor list. The new headquarters, in turn, is wired to run an operation increasingly dependent on the Internet and the facilities to produce all forms of telecommunications and traditional media."
But don't expect Terry to cut impromptu checks, true believer, according to a June 4th Page Six item, "No checks are written until (general election chairman of the DNC John) Sasso signs off. No decisions are made until Sasso says so," said one Democrat. "Terry McAuliffe was told to take it, or take a hike. And he's taking it."
And Teresa's shoving it ....
Out: Teresa Heinz Kerry, Liability? Teresa is, by all accounts, a bright, sexy and sophisticated woman of 65. Teresa speaks five languages, and, those who know her say, she speaks all of them with a charming sass. The Corsair is not averse to a saucy woman of the Heinz variety (no pun intended). But Heinz-Kerry is an eccentric billionaire, used to speaking her mind, on anything, and -- we won't say we told you so -- she is having difficulties sticking to the Kerry-Edwards script, staying, as it were, on point, according to the Washington Post:
"Teresa Heinz Kerry urged home-state delegates to the Democratic National Convention to restore a more civil tone to politics, then minutes later told a journalist to 'shove it.'
"'We need to turn back some of the creeping, un-Pennsylvanian and sometimes un-American traits that are coming into some of our politics,' the wife of Democratic candidate Sen. John F. Kerry (Mass.) told fellow Pennsylvanians on Sunday night at a Massachusetts Statehouse reception.
"Minutes later, Colin McNickle, editorial page editor of the conservative Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, questioned her on what she meant by the term 'un-American,' according to a tape of the encounter recorded by Pittsburgh station WTAE-TV.
"Heinz Kerry said, 'I didn't say that' several times to McNickle. She turned to confer with Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell and others.
"When she faced McNickle again a short time later, he continued to question her, and she replied, 'You said something I didn't say. Now shove it.'"
And, of course, this will be discussed hotly in Teresa's home state (and, ironically, the important swing state) Pennsylvania.
In: Tina Brown's Painful to Watch Larry Flynt Interview. Not that Tina Brown is a prude or anything, but how uncomfortable did it seem when Tina, "Lady Evans" (2nd item) if you're nasty, interviewed porcine pornographer Larry Flynt, the man with the pink jet, a man not known for elegant and sophisticated discussion. Gawker's Henry the Intern captures the tone:
"Tina then cornered pornographer Larry Flynt for publishing photos of Jackie Onassis naked. 'I would publish photographs of Queen Elizabeth,' he said. 'You're not selling sex in those photographs, you're selling the icon status of the individuals involved.' Good thing Tina interrupted him from nearly equating the rise of religion and increased porn sales to Bush and Kerry voters, respectively, but she couldn't stop him from describing 70 naked women: 'their pubes were all gone. . . they think men want to see these big, [implanted] watermelons.' Flynt said he doesn't know the current version of Courtney Love. 'The book is provocative,' closed Tina. 'And so are you.'"
Thanks for sharing, Larry. Like school on Saturday, Mr. Flynt has -- altogether now, gang, "no class"!
Out: Former Governor John Rowlands. (The Corsair's favorite political punching bag). According to Page Six, Rowlands is going from the State House to the Big House:
"JOHN Rowland ? who stepped down in disgrace as governor of Connecticut before the state legislature could impeach him ? will soon cop a plea to tax evasion, sources say. Rowland has been under investigation for months by the office of U.S. Attorney Kevin O'Connor, who has recused himself from working on the case personally because of his friendship with Rowland. The Republican has yet to be formally charged. 'A deal has been made,' said one insider. 'The feds originally insisted he do 11 months in jail, but have agreed to five.' When the five-month figure was run past another well-connected insider, the power-broker said, 'Even less.'"
In: Public Restrooms at the Democrat Convention. So funny, from the AP (A pee-pee?):
"Media members, already perturbed by long security lines, may find themselves waiting in line for something nearly as important. As the majority of the print reporters arrived Saturday at the FleetCenter for the Democratic National Convention, tongues clucked when they saw the restroom facilities that they will be using for the next week.
"Twenty portable restrooms, like those used on construction sites, are lined up in front of the media pavilion to service nearly 1,200 members of the print media who will be working around the clock. That's about 60 serious coffee-drinkers per toilet.
"'That's absurd,' said Jim Drinkard, a political reporter for USA Today, when he heard of the ratio of toilets per media member."
All the news that's fit to ...
In: LA.com's blog. Let's break for a second to consider Hollywood and not Washington for a second (And, incidentally, of Tinseltown, mirabile dictu, Fashionweekdaily reports: "Soho House is scouting spots for their L.A. outpost and calling in the opinions of fashion insiders to see if they should actually make the move out west," which means, of course, that leaky air conditioners can now leak on you on both coasts). Anyhoo: The LA.com blog gives us this deliciously nasty blind item:
"Dolly wonders how long that fresh, funky movie star will get away free and clear before someone busts her Winona-style for her light-fingered ways. All her friends know that she has such a mania for keeping her sensitive skin looking great that she seeks out the best spas and salons for facials and treatments wherever she goes. But though she makes plenty of moolah, she just loves to snake expensive skin care products when the busy facialists and salon owners aren?t looking. Recently at a Santa Monica spa, she got caught red-handed with a bagful of pricey product and, being famed for her skill at improv, she quickly spun a tale to the beautician about how she only put the goodies in the bag so that she could remember exactly which items had been used on her so she could buy them before checking out. They didn?t buy it any more than we do, but they let her slip that one time. "
Out: Bonnie Fuller. Can she get more out after the public excoriation by Vanity Fair? Possibly. But she has the cunning of Machiavelli with regard to damage control in the wake of Star Magazine's tough gossip, and the fostering of future goodwill among those A-Listers. According to Fashionweekdaily's Daily Spy:
"It looks like Bonnie Fuller has found a novel way to ensure she has at least a friend or two in Hollywood, in her continual efforts to win over celebrity flacks despite the damaging stories Star magazine does on their clients. Fuller has apparently hired top PR firm PMK /HBH, which reps everyone from Jennifer Aniston to Gwyneth Paltrow, to handle PR for next month's Star-sponsored premiere of 'Growing Up Gotti,' A&E?s new reality show vehicle for Star writer and mob daughter Victoria Gotti . Considering the often antagonistic relationship between PMK/HBH and Fuller?Gwyneth Paltrow once referred to her as 'the devil' and Paltrow?s rep Stephen Huvane seems to support that view?it's surprising that the company took the job at all. 'It must be costing Bonnie?or should we say David Pecker?a bundle,' says one insider."
In: Terry McAuliffe. Despite the fact that, in many ways, the Clinton loyalist is DNC Chair in name only, todays Washington Post hails him, thusly:
"(McAuliffe) forced a controversial change in the primary campaign schedule and pressed state chairmen to give up exclusive control of their voter lists. He also invested millions in a new headquarters, and gambled that the party could mount a challenge to the GOP's three decades of dominating fundraising.
"Every one of these high-risk tactics paid off. The schedule change gave Kerry time to raise more than $200 million; the DNC now has a voter list with information on more than 170 million people, which allows the party to develop its own direct-mail donor list. The new headquarters, in turn, is wired to run an operation increasingly dependent on the Internet and the facilities to produce all forms of telecommunications and traditional media."
But don't expect Terry to cut impromptu checks, true believer, according to a June 4th Page Six item, "No checks are written until (general election chairman of the DNC John) Sasso signs off. No decisions are made until Sasso says so," said one Democrat. "Terry McAuliffe was told to take it, or take a hike. And he's taking it."
And Teresa's shoving it ....
Out: Teresa Heinz Kerry, Liability? Teresa is, by all accounts, a bright, sexy and sophisticated woman of 65. Teresa speaks five languages, and, those who know her say, she speaks all of them with a charming sass. The Corsair is not averse to a saucy woman of the Heinz variety (no pun intended). But Heinz-Kerry is an eccentric billionaire, used to speaking her mind, on anything, and -- we won't say we told you so -- she is having difficulties sticking to the Kerry-Edwards script, staying, as it were, on point, according to the Washington Post:
"Teresa Heinz Kerry urged home-state delegates to the Democratic National Convention to restore a more civil tone to politics, then minutes later told a journalist to 'shove it.'
"'We need to turn back some of the creeping, un-Pennsylvanian and sometimes un-American traits that are coming into some of our politics,' the wife of Democratic candidate Sen. John F. Kerry (Mass.) told fellow Pennsylvanians on Sunday night at a Massachusetts Statehouse reception.
"Minutes later, Colin McNickle, editorial page editor of the conservative Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, questioned her on what she meant by the term 'un-American,' according to a tape of the encounter recorded by Pittsburgh station WTAE-TV.
"Heinz Kerry said, 'I didn't say that' several times to McNickle. She turned to confer with Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell and others.
"When she faced McNickle again a short time later, he continued to question her, and she replied, 'You said something I didn't say. Now shove it.'"
And, of course, this will be discussed hotly in Teresa's home state (and, ironically, the important swing state) Pennsylvania.
In: Tina Brown's Painful to Watch Larry Flynt Interview. Not that Tina Brown is a prude or anything, but how uncomfortable did it seem when Tina, "Lady Evans" (2nd item) if you're nasty, interviewed porcine pornographer Larry Flynt, the man with the pink jet, a man not known for elegant and sophisticated discussion. Gawker's Henry the Intern captures the tone:
"Tina then cornered pornographer Larry Flynt for publishing photos of Jackie Onassis naked. 'I would publish photographs of Queen Elizabeth,' he said. 'You're not selling sex in those photographs, you're selling the icon status of the individuals involved.' Good thing Tina interrupted him from nearly equating the rise of religion and increased porn sales to Bush and Kerry voters, respectively, but she couldn't stop him from describing 70 naked women: 'their pubes were all gone. . . they think men want to see these big, [implanted] watermelons.' Flynt said he doesn't know the current version of Courtney Love. 'The book is provocative,' closed Tina. 'And so are you.'"
Thanks for sharing, Larry. Like school on Saturday, Mr. Flynt has -- altogether now, gang, "no class"!
Out: Former Governor John Rowlands. (The Corsair's favorite political punching bag). According to Page Six, Rowlands is going from the State House to the Big House:
"JOHN Rowland ? who stepped down in disgrace as governor of Connecticut before the state legislature could impeach him ? will soon cop a plea to tax evasion, sources say. Rowland has been under investigation for months by the office of U.S. Attorney Kevin O'Connor, who has recused himself from working on the case personally because of his friendship with Rowland. The Republican has yet to be formally charged. 'A deal has been made,' said one insider. 'The feds originally insisted he do 11 months in jail, but have agreed to five.' When the five-month figure was run past another well-connected insider, the power-broker said, 'Even less.'"
In: Public Restrooms at the Democrat Convention. So funny, from the AP (A pee-pee?):
"Media members, already perturbed by long security lines, may find themselves waiting in line for something nearly as important. As the majority of the print reporters arrived Saturday at the FleetCenter for the Democratic National Convention, tongues clucked when they saw the restroom facilities that they will be using for the next week.
"Twenty portable restrooms, like those used on construction sites, are lined up in front of the media pavilion to service nearly 1,200 members of the print media who will be working around the clock. That's about 60 serious coffee-drinkers per toilet.
"'That's absurd,' said Jim Drinkard, a political reporter for USA Today, when he heard of the ratio of toilets per media member."
All the news that's fit to ...
Brandy Never Married?
Today the always excellent Rush and Molloy (3rd item down) excavate the murky depths of formerly sqeaky-clean singer Brandy's life, and come up with a shocker:
"R&B star Brandy is laying low now that the man she said was her husband is claiming they never were married."
The Corsair's curiosity is piqued as he sips, slowly, from his "icy" pimp goblet.
"Two years ago, Brandy and music producer Robert Smith went on Oprah to announce they'd secretly wed in 2001. But Smith said on WBLS-FM last week that they'd made up the marriage story to protect Brandy's wholesome image, because she was pregnant with their daughter, Sy'rai, now 2.
"Brandy, who has said they were 'divorced' last year, doesn't deny Smith's tale, but she did say in a statement: 'I'm deeply hurt and shocked by the things that Robert has been saying. We had a spiritual union.
"'He is not thinking about [Sy'rai], me or what we had together. He is trying to destroy my reputation, while using me and our daughter to get publicity and radio airplay for his artists. I am stunned that he is being so dirty about it.'"
Fellow gossip archaeologists AZCentral.com also excavate and finds these chestnuts:
"Smith was a guest on the 'Moment of Truth,' a feature of 'The Wendy Williams Experience,' broadcast weekdays from 3 to 5 p.m. on Power 99, WUSL-FM, when he dropped the bombshell that he and Brandy were never married.
"... He said Brandy was his 'jump-off' chick and that he was still seeing another woman, who is now seven months pregnant. This other woman, a film producer, Smith says, will remain anonymous.
"Smith told Williams it was Sonia Norwood, Brandy's mom/manager, who cooked up the idea to play house to protect Brandy's then-wholesome image. Brandy was pregnant with Smith's child, and it just wouldn't do for the young songstress to be an unwed mother, Smith says, so they simply pretended to be married.
"He reportedly had Sy'rai with him at the station when he said all this, so we're guessing Brandy did not know he was going to discuss what he called the 'real version vs. the MTV version.' You must remember this: MTV did a huge splash on Brandy and Robert getting married and 'having their baby.'"
Say it aint so, Mo.
Today the always excellent Rush and Molloy (3rd item down) excavate the murky depths of formerly sqeaky-clean singer Brandy's life, and come up with a shocker:
"R&B star Brandy is laying low now that the man she said was her husband is claiming they never were married."
The Corsair's curiosity is piqued as he sips, slowly, from his "icy" pimp goblet.
"Two years ago, Brandy and music producer Robert Smith went on Oprah to announce they'd secretly wed in 2001. But Smith said on WBLS-FM last week that they'd made up the marriage story to protect Brandy's wholesome image, because she was pregnant with their daughter, Sy'rai, now 2.
"Brandy, who has said they were 'divorced' last year, doesn't deny Smith's tale, but she did say in a statement: 'I'm deeply hurt and shocked by the things that Robert has been saying. We had a spiritual union.
"'He is not thinking about [Sy'rai], me or what we had together. He is trying to destroy my reputation, while using me and our daughter to get publicity and radio airplay for his artists. I am stunned that he is being so dirty about it.'"
Fellow gossip archaeologists AZCentral.com also excavate and finds these chestnuts:
"Smith was a guest on the 'Moment of Truth,' a feature of 'The Wendy Williams Experience,' broadcast weekdays from 3 to 5 p.m. on Power 99, WUSL-FM, when he dropped the bombshell that he and Brandy were never married.
"... He said Brandy was his 'jump-off' chick and that he was still seeing another woman, who is now seven months pregnant. This other woman, a film producer, Smith says, will remain anonymous.
"Smith told Williams it was Sonia Norwood, Brandy's mom/manager, who cooked up the idea to play house to protect Brandy's then-wholesome image. Brandy was pregnant with Smith's child, and it just wouldn't do for the young songstress to be an unwed mother, Smith says, so they simply pretended to be married.
"He reportedly had Sy'rai with him at the station when he said all this, so we're guessing Brandy did not know he was going to discuss what he called the 'real version vs. the MTV version.' You must remember this: MTV did a huge splash on Brandy and Robert getting married and 'having their baby.'"
Say it aint so, Mo.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Howard Stern's Clear Channel Documents
From today's Smokinggun.com:
"Howard Stern has more than 12 million good reasons to gripe about Clear Channel's decision to yank his radio show from six of its stations. According to contract documents, the King of All Media would have received at least $12 million in future payments from the conglomerate for the broadcast of his program in the half-dozen markets. In 2001 and 2002, Stern's company, One Twelve Incorporated, cut multiyear licensing deals with Clear Channel worth a minimum of $19.5 million, though that figure could have ballooned significantly based on bonus schedules tied to the King of All Media's Arbitron ratings. When Clear Channel cancelled Stern in late February, the unexpired terms of the radio deals called for the shock jock to receive future payouts of at least $12 million. Below you'll find the five-year, $4.5 million deal Stern signed in February 2002 to broadcast his show in San Diego. The other Stern/Clear Channel deals covered Pittsburgh ($3.91 million); Orlando ($3.87 million); Miami ($3.35 million); Louisville ($2.2 million); and Rochester ($1.68 million). Claiming breach of contract, Stern sued Clear Channel in June. The radio company countersued yesterday, accusing Stern of the same thing. "
From today's Smokinggun.com:
"Howard Stern has more than 12 million good reasons to gripe about Clear Channel's decision to yank his radio show from six of its stations. According to contract documents, the King of All Media would have received at least $12 million in future payments from the conglomerate for the broadcast of his program in the half-dozen markets. In 2001 and 2002, Stern's company, One Twelve Incorporated, cut multiyear licensing deals with Clear Channel worth a minimum of $19.5 million, though that figure could have ballooned significantly based on bonus schedules tied to the King of All Media's Arbitron ratings. When Clear Channel cancelled Stern in late February, the unexpired terms of the radio deals called for the shock jock to receive future payouts of at least $12 million. Below you'll find the five-year, $4.5 million deal Stern signed in February 2002 to broadcast his show in San Diego. The other Stern/Clear Channel deals covered Pittsburgh ($3.91 million); Orlando ($3.87 million); Miami ($3.35 million); Louisville ($2.2 million); and Rochester ($1.68 million). Claiming breach of contract, Stern sued Clear Channel in June. The radio company countersued yesterday, accusing Stern of the same thing. "
Ed Note: Defamer readers: The Christina Applegate and Ben Affleck story is right here
A Little of the Old In and Out on a Very Slow Saturday Afternoon news day
In: I'm not even going to try and compete with Wonkette's compendium of the Democratic National Convention parties. Just go there if you are going to be in Boston for the convention, she'll tell you where to go. And email me if you attend the Jillian's pool hall party with B'Affleck, or the clambake with Ted Kennedy.
Out: Naomi Campbell, playing the diva, yet again, according to the 3AM Girls, on Poor Unsuspecting Italian Playboy #743 (If Deniro likes his women like he likes his coffee, then Naomi likes her men like she likes her, uhm, sausage):
"Naomi, 34, was enjoying the company of Formula One boss Flavio Briatore aboard his liner Lady In Blue II.
"The pair, who rekindled their on-off romance in April, were anchored off Porto Cervo in Sardinia.
"But it seems forgetful Flavio, 54, didn't inform Naomi that he had invited her ex-lover aboard."
The Corsair reaches for a bag of unsalted popcorn and leaps on to his sofa in a fluid cat-like move.
"According to witnesses, the supermodel looked less than impressed when fashion tycoon Marzotto and his girlfriend, blonde actress/singer Serena Autieri, embarked.
"'Naomi just flipped,' says our nautical source. 'She started swearing at Matteo and what she said to Serena isn't repeatable. Fortunately, Serena doesn't understand a word of English.'
"Italian stallion Marzotto, 36, was with Naomi for eight months before he dumped her earlier this year."
"But it seems Naomi's wounds haven't healed yet. According to sources, Flavio stood by while his lover did what she does best - finger pointing and shouting.
"'Matteo tried to defend himself but he didn't have much luck,' a spy told Italy's Panorama magazine.
"His mum, who was also aboard, doesn't care much for Serena and likes Naomi a lot, so she joined in as well.
The Corsair groans for Matteo, poor guy:
"'It was a right old argument.
"It was difficult to know what exactly wound Naomi up but it was probably the green-eyed monster,' says the source.
"In the end, Matteo and Serena fled, and were soon followed by Naomi. Poor Flavio was left aboard to rue his mistake."
"... (Campbell) has since (her breakup with Matteo) found comfort back in the arms of wealthy womaniser Briatore
"... The multi-millionaire playboy certainly likes his models. In February, he split from gorgeous Heidi Klum, who gave birth to their child three months later."
Now that's a spicy meatball!
A Little of the Old In and Out on a Very Slow Saturday Afternoon news day
In: I'm not even going to try and compete with Wonkette's compendium of the Democratic National Convention parties. Just go there if you are going to be in Boston for the convention, she'll tell you where to go. And email me if you attend the Jillian's pool hall party with B'Affleck, or the clambake with Ted Kennedy.
Out: Naomi Campbell, playing the diva, yet again, according to the 3AM Girls, on Poor Unsuspecting Italian Playboy #743 (If Deniro likes his women like he likes his coffee, then Naomi likes her men like she likes her, uhm, sausage):
"Naomi, 34, was enjoying the company of Formula One boss Flavio Briatore aboard his liner Lady In Blue II.
"The pair, who rekindled their on-off romance in April, were anchored off Porto Cervo in Sardinia.
"But it seems forgetful Flavio, 54, didn't inform Naomi that he had invited her ex-lover aboard."
The Corsair reaches for a bag of unsalted popcorn and leaps on to his sofa in a fluid cat-like move.
"According to witnesses, the supermodel looked less than impressed when fashion tycoon Marzotto and his girlfriend, blonde actress/singer Serena Autieri, embarked.
"'Naomi just flipped,' says our nautical source. 'She started swearing at Matteo and what she said to Serena isn't repeatable. Fortunately, Serena doesn't understand a word of English.'
"Italian stallion Marzotto, 36, was with Naomi for eight months before he dumped her earlier this year."
"But it seems Naomi's wounds haven't healed yet. According to sources, Flavio stood by while his lover did what she does best - finger pointing and shouting.
"'Matteo tried to defend himself but he didn't have much luck,' a spy told Italy's Panorama magazine.
"His mum, who was also aboard, doesn't care much for Serena and likes Naomi a lot, so she joined in as well.
The Corsair groans for Matteo, poor guy:
"'It was a right old argument.
"It was difficult to know what exactly wound Naomi up but it was probably the green-eyed monster,' says the source.
"In the end, Matteo and Serena fled, and were soon followed by Naomi. Poor Flavio was left aboard to rue his mistake."
"... (Campbell) has since (her breakup with Matteo) found comfort back in the arms of wealthy womaniser Briatore
"... The multi-millionaire playboy certainly likes his models. In February, he split from gorgeous Heidi Klum, who gave birth to their child three months later."
Now that's a spicy meatball!
In: Bill Maher Real Time. Staring Friday, July 30 at 11 pm, Season 2 begins of the most irreverent political talk show of them all (sorry, Jon Stewart, lately you've been a little frat boy in your humor; you need to get some color on your writing staff, dood, Harvard Lampoon guys lack ethnic edge). Whether you are Libertarian (Bill Maher is), Conservative(roughly half the guests are), Moderate (The Corsair is), or a Lefty, this show, which can, at times, become rather violent in rhetoric, is, perhaps, the wittiest show with the fastest minds on television. Every political side gets their shot at a bon mot, a quip, or a zinger. When ABC bounced Maher for his stupid 9/11 comments, they created a free-speech monster.
If Howard Stern were more bitter and more politically intelligent it would be this show.
Out: Melissa and Joan Rivers' Red Carpet Treatment, at least for one year, will be on haitus. As Lindsay Robertson might say: Yaay.
As everyone knows, Tinseltown is all about the lawsuits, and the brinkmandship of the helmers and studio heads, and who blinks first. Well, the Washington Post Boldface Names column notes:
"The folks at E! Entertainment Television may have lost two of their big personalities, Joan and Melissa Rivers, to a rumored $6 million to $8 million contract with the TV Guide Channel, but they're getting a good chuckle out of the fact that the mother-daughter duo's prime mission -- the Emmy Awards red carpet coverage -- is a no-go for their new employer. It seems that E! has exclusive rights to the carpet show before the Sept. 19 Emmy telecast.
"That means television stars get a one-night-only pass to stroll the red carpet without being pounced on by the two sharp-tongued fashion police (one of whom routinely botches stars' names). E!'s coverage contract runs through 2005, which leaves TV Guide and Joan and Melissa out of luck but not hope. 'We'd absolutely like to be covering the Emmys, and we'll continue to explore all of our options,' says Chris Levesque, spokeswoman for Gemstar-TV Guide International, which owns the TV Guide Channel."
The TV Guide Channel sure are suckers for not having periphery vision. This gives E! two years to get, oh, say, Howard Stern and Ana Nicole-Smith, or somesuch other catty-outrageous duo, to replace Joan and Melissa and totally hose TV Guide Channel with an newer, more outrageous brand.
very slow news day, sorry guys
Friday, July 23, 2004
Ed Note: Defamer readers: The Christina Applegate and Ben Affleck story is right here
Hampton's Itinerary
So, what's on the Hampton's itinerary? Fashionweekdaily, as usual, does a marvy doo job at summing things up. VH1 rules the Hampton's this weekend, with back-to-back events, and be sure to check out the ubiquitous Russell Simmons, who will be out and about, just on the heels of acquiring his permit to protest The Republican Convention. Chris Heinz will be also be up, fending off the women aggressively trying to part him from his bachelorhood. Shannen Doherty should be there, you might want to ask her what happened to her career. Then sprint. Very fast.
What's up tonight? "Music and Mojitos," playboy.
"Tonight, multi-platinum selling singer�and Glen Cove, Long Island native�Ashanti, hosts 'Music & Mojitos' at the East Hampton home of Jaci and Morris L. Reid, benefiting the VH1 Save the Music Foundation (a philanthropy dedicated to purchasing new musical instruments and restoring music education programs in public schools). The intimate three-hour event�which boasts committee hosts Rory and Elie Tahari, Ron Perelman, and Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons�will also feature a live performance by Midas recording artist, Angel."
What about Saturday? Fashionweekdaily's got your back:
"Shopping and Champers. Fingers remain crossed for sunny weather on Saturday, but whether it�s rain or shine, the day is all about fashion�specifically, Theory fashion�as the company�s CEO, Andrew Rosen, along with Russell Simmons, Shamin Abas and Brett Ratner (Ed Note: And possibly a Serena sighting, as SerenaBrett is the new Bennifer, or Beniefcase) , host a day of shopping and champagne benefiting VH1�s Save the Music. In between Range Rovers vying for prime parking in front of the new East Hampton store (46 Newtown Lane) and air kisses, fashionistas can enjoy a trunk show of the company�s fall/winter 2004 collection from 1- 4PM, with a percentage of the day�s proceeds being donated to the VH1 Save the Music Foundation."
PR director Melissa Gellman of J. Mendel is handling things. Also:
"From frolicking in Manolos to putting up with the fragrant smell of manure, the second week of the Mercedes-Benz Polo Challenge gallops into the Bridgehampton Polo Club. Expected guests at this week�s soiree�sponsored by Equinox Fitness Clubs�include Shannen Doherty, Elisabeth Rohm, Chris Heinz, Amanda Hearst, and Star Jones."
Finally:
"When Simmons Summons�After some good ole divot stomping, Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons will welcome guests to their East Hampton retreat for their Art for Life philanthropic event, benefiting the Rush Philanthropic Foundation (Ed Note: The last 4 tickets for the event are on ebay here, here, here and here), dedicated to providing disadvantaged urban youth with significant exposure and access to the arts. Theory, General Motors, Motorola, and MTV Networks are the night�s sponsors, daytime chatterbox, Kelly Ripa, will play hostess, and Chevy Chase is slated to emcee the art auction. Look for a special appearance by Chris Tucker plus the evening�s honorees: philanthropist Sherry B. Bronfman, artist Gordon Parks and Toys �R� Us Children�s Fund chairman, Michael Goldstein. And with Louis Vuitton�s purported No. 1 customer in North America hosting the soir�e, it�s no wonder that a trip to Antigua�s Jumby Bay Resort, complete with a set of luggage from the French luggage house, is just one of the items up for bid."
Ed Note: The icy hott Naomi Campbell is an event co chair, so, you better recognize.
Hampton's Itinerary
So, what's on the Hampton's itinerary? Fashionweekdaily, as usual, does a marvy doo job at summing things up. VH1 rules the Hampton's this weekend, with back-to-back events, and be sure to check out the ubiquitous Russell Simmons, who will be out and about, just on the heels of acquiring his permit to protest The Republican Convention. Chris Heinz will be also be up, fending off the women aggressively trying to part him from his bachelorhood. Shannen Doherty should be there, you might want to ask her what happened to her career. Then sprint. Very fast.
What's up tonight? "Music and Mojitos," playboy.
"Tonight, multi-platinum selling singer�and Glen Cove, Long Island native�Ashanti, hosts 'Music & Mojitos' at the East Hampton home of Jaci and Morris L. Reid, benefiting the VH1 Save the Music Foundation (a philanthropy dedicated to purchasing new musical instruments and restoring music education programs in public schools). The intimate three-hour event�which boasts committee hosts Rory and Elie Tahari, Ron Perelman, and Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons�will also feature a live performance by Midas recording artist, Angel."
What about Saturday? Fashionweekdaily's got your back:
"Shopping and Champers. Fingers remain crossed for sunny weather on Saturday, but whether it�s rain or shine, the day is all about fashion�specifically, Theory fashion�as the company�s CEO, Andrew Rosen, along with Russell Simmons, Shamin Abas and Brett Ratner (Ed Note: And possibly a Serena sighting, as SerenaBrett is the new Bennifer, or Beniefcase) , host a day of shopping and champagne benefiting VH1�s Save the Music. In between Range Rovers vying for prime parking in front of the new East Hampton store (46 Newtown Lane) and air kisses, fashionistas can enjoy a trunk show of the company�s fall/winter 2004 collection from 1- 4PM, with a percentage of the day�s proceeds being donated to the VH1 Save the Music Foundation."
PR director Melissa Gellman of J. Mendel is handling things. Also:
"From frolicking in Manolos to putting up with the fragrant smell of manure, the second week of the Mercedes-Benz Polo Challenge gallops into the Bridgehampton Polo Club. Expected guests at this week�s soiree�sponsored by Equinox Fitness Clubs�include Shannen Doherty, Elisabeth Rohm, Chris Heinz, Amanda Hearst, and Star Jones."
Finally:
"When Simmons Summons�After some good ole divot stomping, Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons will welcome guests to their East Hampton retreat for their Art for Life philanthropic event, benefiting the Rush Philanthropic Foundation (Ed Note: The last 4 tickets for the event are on ebay here, here, here and here), dedicated to providing disadvantaged urban youth with significant exposure and access to the arts. Theory, General Motors, Motorola, and MTV Networks are the night�s sponsors, daytime chatterbox, Kelly Ripa, will play hostess, and Chevy Chase is slated to emcee the art auction. Look for a special appearance by Chris Tucker plus the evening�s honorees: philanthropist Sherry B. Bronfman, artist Gordon Parks and Toys �R� Us Children�s Fund chairman, Michael Goldstein. And with Louis Vuitton�s purported No. 1 customer in North America hosting the soir�e, it�s no wonder that a trip to Antigua�s Jumby Bay Resort, complete with a set of luggage from the French luggage house, is just one of the items up for bid."
Ed Note: The icy hott Naomi Campbell is an event co chair, so, you better recognize.
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: "Heartbreaking Drunk" Keifer Sutherland does a little strip tease in New Zealand. It's just ... all so sordid (The Corsair takes a long sip of Cutty Sark before continuing, in earnest). I mean, he was supposed to be Mr. Julia Roberts, after all, the scruffy second generation actor who marries America's Sweetheart. I guess he made the women happy, but it's sort of an odd thing for a tv star to be doing, getting all nekkid Down Under. I just don't know what to think about this:
"Film star Kiefer Sutherland made women happy at a male revue show in New Zealand last Thursday by climbing enthusiastically on stage and stripping off. According to news.com, the New Zealand Herald published Kiefer's striptease pictures. Keifer has been shooting for the movie 'River Queen' near the North Island town of Raetihi.
"He was drinking with some of the cast and crew in the Raetihi Cosmopolitan Club last Thursday while the revue was being staged in front of an all-woman audience in an adjoining room.
"'Twice during the first half of the show, Keifer took of his shoes and passed into the roped-off ''women only' area of the bar to join the Men of Steel,' reported the newspaper. The security staff stopped Keifer but he was eventually allowed on stage during the second half of the show. Keifer then slipped out of his socks, whipped off his shirt, and waved it above his head to the tune of the Tom Jones' hit 'You Can Leave Your Hat On', before being ushered off the stage."
The Corsair dry heaves at his desk.
Out: Alleged billionaire Cindy Crawford, according to British Vogue (2nd item), is going back to modeling:
"CINDY CRAWFORD is back in the game: the mother-of-two, who has not been signed to an agency for years, recently signed with ex-IMG and Next executive Jan Planit's new Planit M and is apparently looking to work with new designers and photographers."
Yeah, Bill Gates will be doing a naughty spread in the new Ambercrombie and Fitch as well. Allegedly billionaire my ass. Actually, alleged supermodel my ass as well: if Cindy Crawford is still a supermodel, then show me the building where she is the super. I don't believe it.
In: The Anna Wintour Fembot. According to Fashionweekdaily, there is an imposter Anna Wintour, a fembot, replete with razor sharp bangs, making the rounds in stiletos:
"Yesterday afternoon around 1:30PM, at the posh eatery Freds, amidst a crowd of well-heeled diners including designer Alvin Valley and Quest magazines Andrew Blacka woman, sporting a perfectly-coiffed bob with razor sharp bangs, a pink sundress with matching cardigan draped around her shoulders, oversized black sunglasses, and slingbacks with a stiletto heel, stopped traffic as she sashayed her way through the restaurant to her table. Forks dropped. Fashionistas stared. And poured glasses tipped as the crowd wondered, 'Could this really be the ever-so-chic Vogue editrix?' But something was off this woman, who could literally double as Wintours twin, was just a tad taller and a wee bit heavier than the petite editor in chief. Size aside, it wasnt her measurements that threw trained eyes off; it was the Crate & Barrel shopping bag she loosely held in her hand."
Crate & Barrel (Averted Gaze); "Nice": if you go in for that sort of thing. Actually she's a body double, paid for by the crafty Si Newhouse, to confuse the pesky PETA crowd. And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those pesky kids.
Out: Michael Jackson, crashed and burned, he was turned down by Nicole Kidman. According to those intrepid 3AM Girls:
"Word reaches us that Wacko Jacko has been begging the Hollywood star, whose latest movie is the remake of Stepford Wives, for a date.
"Apparently Michael, who is facing child sex charges in the US, wanted Nicole to accompany him to the upcoming MTV Music Awards.
"His sudden interest stunned Nicole. And although the Cold Mountain star is currently single since her relationship with rocker Lenny 'The Loins' Kravitz ended earlier this year, she didn't have to think too long or hard about turning Michael down.
"'There was a call from his people to mine asking if he could take me to the Awards,' confirmed the 37-year-old actress during a radio interview in her native Australia.
"'I had never even met him, it was a little strange. I did decline but, hey, the way my love life is I took it as a great compliment.'"
Comment here or on VH1's Best Week Ever Blog.
In: Partisan sniping. We are all aware of the cantankerous mood that has enveloped the capitol of the last standing world superpower. But this story in The Hill (2nd story) is so wierd, Lenonard Nimoy should be narrating it:
"Five staffers were forced to evacuate the office of Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) yesterday after aides to Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.) forwarded them a package that they thought could have been potentially hazardous.
"The 'bizarre' package arrived as two joined envelopes addressed to Kennedy in scrawled writing. One of the envelopes contained hair and a vial filled with a red substance that may have been blood. The other contained papers.
"But because the package had a Norfolk, Va., return address, Kennedys staff sent the papers to Allen?s office, complete with a warning about its suspicious nature, according to a Senate source. Both offices are in the Russell Building.
"The source said that members of Allens staff were furious because they felt Kennedys office may have exposed them to a dangerous substance."
Out: Poor Dawnette Knight. According to Ananova:
"The woman accused of stalking Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas faces nearly 20 years behind bars for 'being foolish', according to her lawyer.
Dawnette Knight appeared in court in Los Angeles on Thursday hoping the 24 stalking charges she faced would be dropped.
"Her lawyer, Richard Herman, insisted: She was infatuated with a movie star.
"'She's facing 19 years in state prison for being foolish. She's learned a very valuable lesson that will make her a good woman and a major asset to society.'
"Her fianc�, Ronald Calvin, said that the celebrity couple have nothing to fear, despite the sinister death threats she sent in letters to Zeta Jones and her bogus claim that she had an affair with Douglas."
So, aside from the sinister death threats, everything was just peaches and herb?
In: Fortuna. Or, as Dick Morris says:
"Success or defeat in the 2004 presidential campaign is likely to be determined more by events beyond the control of Sen. John Kerry or even that of President Bush. The irony is that it is the intensity of the war on terror, more than any other factor, that will seal the fate of the two candidates.
"We have never had an election quite like this one."
Luck may end up determining who is our next President.
Out: Congressman Harold Ford. This guys unchecked ambition just really fucking gets to me. I don't like his face. Here he is, in nearly every picture, making empty hand gestures, saying, most probably, nothing. All ambition, no talent, no originality. Grr... I just don't like him. It must be chemical.
In: "Heartbreaking Drunk" Keifer Sutherland does a little strip tease in New Zealand. It's just ... all so sordid (The Corsair takes a long sip of Cutty Sark before continuing, in earnest). I mean, he was supposed to be Mr. Julia Roberts, after all, the scruffy second generation actor who marries America's Sweetheart. I guess he made the women happy, but it's sort of an odd thing for a tv star to be doing, getting all nekkid Down Under. I just don't know what to think about this:
"Film star Kiefer Sutherland made women happy at a male revue show in New Zealand last Thursday by climbing enthusiastically on stage and stripping off. According to news.com, the New Zealand Herald published Kiefer's striptease pictures. Keifer has been shooting for the movie 'River Queen' near the North Island town of Raetihi.
"He was drinking with some of the cast and crew in the Raetihi Cosmopolitan Club last Thursday while the revue was being staged in front of an all-woman audience in an adjoining room.
"'Twice during the first half of the show, Keifer took of his shoes and passed into the roped-off ''women only' area of the bar to join the Men of Steel,' reported the newspaper. The security staff stopped Keifer but he was eventually allowed on stage during the second half of the show. Keifer then slipped out of his socks, whipped off his shirt, and waved it above his head to the tune of the Tom Jones' hit 'You Can Leave Your Hat On', before being ushered off the stage."
The Corsair dry heaves at his desk.
Out: Alleged billionaire Cindy Crawford, according to British Vogue (2nd item), is going back to modeling:
"CINDY CRAWFORD is back in the game: the mother-of-two, who has not been signed to an agency for years, recently signed with ex-IMG and Next executive Jan Planit's new Planit M and is apparently looking to work with new designers and photographers."
Yeah, Bill Gates will be doing a naughty spread in the new Ambercrombie and Fitch as well. Allegedly billionaire my ass. Actually, alleged supermodel my ass as well: if Cindy Crawford is still a supermodel, then show me the building where she is the super. I don't believe it.
In: The Anna Wintour Fembot. According to Fashionweekdaily, there is an imposter Anna Wintour, a fembot, replete with razor sharp bangs, making the rounds in stiletos:
"Yesterday afternoon around 1:30PM, at the posh eatery Freds, amidst a crowd of well-heeled diners including designer Alvin Valley and Quest magazines Andrew Blacka woman, sporting a perfectly-coiffed bob with razor sharp bangs, a pink sundress with matching cardigan draped around her shoulders, oversized black sunglasses, and slingbacks with a stiletto heel, stopped traffic as she sashayed her way through the restaurant to her table. Forks dropped. Fashionistas stared. And poured glasses tipped as the crowd wondered, 'Could this really be the ever-so-chic Vogue editrix?' But something was off this woman, who could literally double as Wintours twin, was just a tad taller and a wee bit heavier than the petite editor in chief. Size aside, it wasnt her measurements that threw trained eyes off; it was the Crate & Barrel shopping bag she loosely held in her hand."
Crate & Barrel (Averted Gaze); "Nice": if you go in for that sort of thing. Actually she's a body double, paid for by the crafty Si Newhouse, to confuse the pesky PETA crowd. And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those pesky kids.
Out: Michael Jackson, crashed and burned, he was turned down by Nicole Kidman. According to those intrepid 3AM Girls:
"Word reaches us that Wacko Jacko has been begging the Hollywood star, whose latest movie is the remake of Stepford Wives, for a date.
"Apparently Michael, who is facing child sex charges in the US, wanted Nicole to accompany him to the upcoming MTV Music Awards.
"His sudden interest stunned Nicole. And although the Cold Mountain star is currently single since her relationship with rocker Lenny 'The Loins' Kravitz ended earlier this year, she didn't have to think too long or hard about turning Michael down.
"'There was a call from his people to mine asking if he could take me to the Awards,' confirmed the 37-year-old actress during a radio interview in her native Australia.
"'I had never even met him, it was a little strange. I did decline but, hey, the way my love life is I took it as a great compliment.'"
Comment here or on VH1's Best Week Ever Blog.
In: Partisan sniping. We are all aware of the cantankerous mood that has enveloped the capitol of the last standing world superpower. But this story in The Hill (2nd story) is so wierd, Lenonard Nimoy should be narrating it:
"Five staffers were forced to evacuate the office of Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) yesterday after aides to Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.) forwarded them a package that they thought could have been potentially hazardous.
"The 'bizarre' package arrived as two joined envelopes addressed to Kennedy in scrawled writing. One of the envelopes contained hair and a vial filled with a red substance that may have been blood. The other contained papers.
"But because the package had a Norfolk, Va., return address, Kennedys staff sent the papers to Allen?s office, complete with a warning about its suspicious nature, according to a Senate source. Both offices are in the Russell Building.
"The source said that members of Allens staff were furious because they felt Kennedys office may have exposed them to a dangerous substance."
Out: Poor Dawnette Knight. According to Ananova:
"The woman accused of stalking Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas faces nearly 20 years behind bars for 'being foolish', according to her lawyer.
Dawnette Knight appeared in court in Los Angeles on Thursday hoping the 24 stalking charges she faced would be dropped.
"Her lawyer, Richard Herman, insisted: She was infatuated with a movie star.
"'She's facing 19 years in state prison for being foolish. She's learned a very valuable lesson that will make her a good woman and a major asset to society.'
"Her fianc�, Ronald Calvin, said that the celebrity couple have nothing to fear, despite the sinister death threats she sent in letters to Zeta Jones and her bogus claim that she had an affair with Douglas."
So, aside from the sinister death threats, everything was just peaches and herb?
In: Fortuna. Or, as Dick Morris says:
"Success or defeat in the 2004 presidential campaign is likely to be determined more by events beyond the control of Sen. John Kerry or even that of President Bush. The irony is that it is the intensity of the war on terror, more than any other factor, that will seal the fate of the two candidates.
"We have never had an election quite like this one."
Luck may end up determining who is our next President.
Out: Congressman Harold Ford. This guys unchecked ambition just really fucking gets to me. I don't like his face. Here he is, in nearly every picture, making empty hand gestures, saying, most probably, nothing. All ambition, no talent, no originality. Grr... I just don't like him. It must be chemical.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Ed Note: Defamer readers: The Christina Applegate and Ben Affleck story is right here
Deep ... Deep Inside The Bohemian Grove
While boldface aristocrats like George Herbert Walker Bush, Henry Kissinger, Dick Cheney, John Major, Alexander Haig, Alan Greenspan, Newt Gingrich, Jack Kemp, Colin Powell, and William F. Buckley, Jr., who, Atlas-like, carry the weight of the free world on their veal-like preppy shoulders, urinate freely among the California redwoods (Ed Note: The Bohemian Grove is all male, because, like, everyone knows that girls have cooties), performing secret Bohemian Grove handshakes, crying into their cocktails over the good old days of the Cold War, dolled up like Tououse-Lautrec girls, doing each others mascara, curling each others' hair, exchanging moist looks, performing torch songs and lurid little Edith Piaf numbers, ultimately passing out in the great outdoors lying doggo next to their hombres, spent, with a sly satisfied smile of world domination gently playing on their thin, blue vampirelike lips, like the Masters of the Universe that they are, ahem (averted gaze, exaggerated cough, feigned detatchment), The Corsair cannot fail to note the curious homoerotic undertones that such activities appear to suggest, especially coming from such a bastion on ultraconservative manliness as The Grove.
Will Donald Rumsfeld procede to tease his coif and don Manolo Blahnik's?
The San Francisco Chronicle delves into the super-secret world of these modern day Boyz N the Woods:
"On Saturday, some 2,000 CEOs and politicos and arty types arrived at the cool redwoods and lily-choked lake of the Grove, the famous Russian River playground of the powerful Bohemian Club(link via Gawker).
"They say it's the place to be seen in America in July. Except, of course, you can't see them."
Of course you can't playboy, because: "Signs abound: No Thru Traffic. No Trespassing. Members and Guests Only. No Turn Around. Sentries scan the paths from above with binoculars, helped out by infrared sensors."
The Corsair pitches forward, plowing through the X-Files vibe, on a very hush-hush strictly need-to-know basis:
"And what are those important men doing out there for 17 days behind that elaborate security?
Slipping into frocks and putting on pageants. The Bohemian Club, a beguiling mix of ultra-power hangout and high school play, is one of several elite private clubs in San Francisco, curious islands of conservatism amid a forest of Kerry for President signs."
Or, as that "Tricky Dick," Richard Nixon said, according to Page Six, with characteristic swellegance,"'the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine.'"
That Nixon, he was a bigoted little pisser, but he had a special place in his black heart for the sissies and the darkies. Coincidentally, as Page Six also deliciously relates, "THE power-moguls and political heavyweights now luxuriating at ultra-exclusive retreat Bohemian Grove are unaware that they're being waited on hand-and-foot by a famous gay porn star. "
Say what? They continue, true believer:
"We're told that 'Chad Savage,' who has appeared in such carnal classics as 'How the West Was Hung,' is supplementing his sex job by working as a valet at Bohemian Grove, the all-male annual gathering inside a 2,700-acre redwood forest in Monte Rio, Calif., that has been attended by every Republican president since Calvin Coolidge, as well as by industrial titans and media magnates.
"'All of us valets in the Grove are tittering about it,' says our Bohemian blabbermouth. 'To think there's all these powerful conservative guys having their drinks and food served to them by a gay porn star. He makes their beds and attends to their every need � and they have no idea who he really is.'"
Should be just like boarding school, only less sodomy.
Deep ... Deep Inside The Bohemian Grove
While boldface aristocrats like George Herbert Walker Bush, Henry Kissinger, Dick Cheney, John Major, Alexander Haig, Alan Greenspan, Newt Gingrich, Jack Kemp, Colin Powell, and William F. Buckley, Jr., who, Atlas-like, carry the weight of the free world on their veal-like preppy shoulders, urinate freely among the California redwoods (Ed Note: The Bohemian Grove is all male, because, like, everyone knows that girls have cooties), performing secret Bohemian Grove handshakes, crying into their cocktails over the good old days of the Cold War, dolled up like Tououse-Lautrec girls, doing each others mascara, curling each others' hair, exchanging moist looks, performing torch songs and lurid little Edith Piaf numbers, ultimately passing out in the great outdoors lying doggo next to their hombres, spent, with a sly satisfied smile of world domination gently playing on their thin, blue vampirelike lips, like the Masters of the Universe that they are, ahem (averted gaze, exaggerated cough, feigned detatchment), The Corsair cannot fail to note the curious homoerotic undertones that such activities appear to suggest, especially coming from such a bastion on ultraconservative manliness as The Grove.
Will Donald Rumsfeld procede to tease his coif and don Manolo Blahnik's?
The San Francisco Chronicle delves into the super-secret world of these modern day Boyz N the Woods:
"On Saturday, some 2,000 CEOs and politicos and arty types arrived at the cool redwoods and lily-choked lake of the Grove, the famous Russian River playground of the powerful Bohemian Club(link via Gawker).
"They say it's the place to be seen in America in July. Except, of course, you can't see them."
Of course you can't playboy, because: "Signs abound: No Thru Traffic. No Trespassing. Members and Guests Only. No Turn Around. Sentries scan the paths from above with binoculars, helped out by infrared sensors."
The Corsair pitches forward, plowing through the X-Files vibe, on a very hush-hush strictly need-to-know basis:
"And what are those important men doing out there for 17 days behind that elaborate security?
Slipping into frocks and putting on pageants. The Bohemian Club, a beguiling mix of ultra-power hangout and high school play, is one of several elite private clubs in San Francisco, curious islands of conservatism amid a forest of Kerry for President signs."
Or, as that "Tricky Dick," Richard Nixon said, according to Page Six, with characteristic swellegance,"'the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine.'"
That Nixon, he was a bigoted little pisser, but he had a special place in his black heart for the sissies and the darkies. Coincidentally, as Page Six also deliciously relates, "THE power-moguls and political heavyweights now luxuriating at ultra-exclusive retreat Bohemian Grove are unaware that they're being waited on hand-and-foot by a famous gay porn star. "
Say what? They continue, true believer:
"We're told that 'Chad Savage,' who has appeared in such carnal classics as 'How the West Was Hung,' is supplementing his sex job by working as a valet at Bohemian Grove, the all-male annual gathering inside a 2,700-acre redwood forest in Monte Rio, Calif., that has been attended by every Republican president since Calvin Coolidge, as well as by industrial titans and media magnates.
"'All of us valets in the Grove are tittering about it,' says our Bohemian blabbermouth. 'To think there's all these powerful conservative guys having their drinks and food served to them by a gay porn star. He makes their beds and attends to their every need � and they have no idea who he really is.'"
Should be just like boarding school, only less sodomy.
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: Tuscany: it's the new St. Barts, "ecktually" (Averted Gaze) According to the LA.Com blog, Vanity Fair's Winston Light whiffing, Kirby's English socks wearing, architectonically tressed, son-of-a-gun editor, who, in point of fact, has not been able to find space on the cover of his glossy in years for a single African-American in the entertainment industry (I think there are a couple out there: Prince, Oprah, Halle, Will Smith, Tiger Woods, just to name a few ...), is headed to Tuscany:
"It's our loss and Italy's gain. Or perhaps the other way around? Graydon Carter, the Vanity Fair editor-in-chief beleaguered by conflict-of-interest accusations in recent months, had long planned to spend the rest of this summer up at LA?s swank Hotel Bel-Air. But no more. Sources say Carter just cancelled those long-held reservations and instead will be summering at a friend's home in Tuscany. No reason was given for the switch, but I bet Carter's feelings about our fair city have been adversely affected by all those juicy Los Angeles Times articles about his personal Hollywood projects winding up being lauded on VF?s glossy pages. Will Carter change his 'tude by Oscar time?"
Out: Jessica Simpson. Thank God for British Vogue, so that when we are tired from wrestling with Sallust's vivisection of First Century Rome, we can rest our fevered minds, crack open a cold one, hang mellow ... and get in touch with our inner picklehead, to wit:
"JESSICA SIMPSON may have a reputation for being a bit ditzy, but she knows a good thing when she sees it. Since the blonde MTV reality show star draped a multi-coloured shawl around her shoulders during an episode of Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica she has had a marked impression on the fashion economy in Argentina and, in particular, on the 28 knitters in a factory outside Buenos Aires and model-turned-designer Cecilia de Bucourt. 'Since Jessica started wearing my shawls I got more and more demands from her fans who love her style and what she wears,' De Bucourt told AP. 'I'd say it tripled my production in just four months.' Jessica, who bought her shawl in a boutique on New York's Upper East Side for $200 is pleased that she's been able to share some of her good fortune. 'I never would have thought that my love for shopping could have such a meaningful impact on someone's life,' the 24-year-old singer said. 'Nick and I have gotten a lot of attention from reality television but this is the kind of reality that really matters.'"
What really matters, yes, you dingy broad-- nothing says "meaningful impact on people's lives" quite like a shawl.
In: Ben Affleck showed the cast and crew of Surviving Christmas his "junk on the briefcase." But now Benben is going to show the world his kung fu grasp of geopolitical issues, as the most excellent Rush and Molloy report (3rd item):
"Look for Ben Affleck to address the Democratic Convention Tuesday night in Boston. The local boy's rep confirms, 'We're finalizing details now.'"
Note to delegates: Please keep your briefcases out of Ben Affleck's reach.
Out: The wacky pseudodivorce procedings of Vanessa Williams and Jason Foxx, according to the National Enquirer:
"Williams and Fox live on opposite coastsVanessa Williams and her husband, L.A. Laker Rick Fox, have a bizarre relationship, even by Hollywood standards -- he cheats on her, they live apart and decide to divorce, but they never file the court papers!
"'It's the wackiest divorce in showbiz -- they've spent 18 months talking about splitting up and do nothing!' said a source close to the couple.
"After The ENQUIRER published a photo of Fox kissing a beautiful blonde on June 25 ... Fox's publicist confirmed the marriage was over. Fox was caught red-handed in a nightclub called Da Dawghouse in Waikiki, Hawaii. He was supposed to be in Honolulu for preseason training. But the hoop star was more interested in going one-on-one with the blonde. He danced with her and even had his hands between her legs as she sat at the bar, according to an eyewitness.
"While Rick lives on the West Coast and Vanessa lives on the East Coast, their publicists need to meet somewhere in the middle and get their stories straight! Vanessa's publicist Brad Cafarelli told The ENQUIRER: 'They are not separated. Vanessa has not filed for divorce.'
"But Fox's publicist Staci Wolfe was more forthcoming and told us: 'They are heading for a divorce and have been so for the last 18 months. They've virtually been leading separate lives.'
"Added an insider: 'They may get a divorce next week or they may get a divorce in another 18 months. It's wacky. But they do love their kids. And it will break both their hearts when they make it final.'"
In: Page Six's Paula Froelich. Brandusa Niro's Fashionweekdaily tells us: "It seems that the ongoing interest in the gossip world and its wars has spurred a burst of creativity from Page Sixer Paula Froelich. We're told Froelich just submitted a proposal for a novel based on a gossip columnist's life. "
The Corsair is so first in line to buy this book, deciphering the pseudonyms of celebutantes, wanna-be players and the requisite PR flacks. Your pimp hand is strong, Paula Froelich; pimp hard, we want this book to be printed!
Out: As our favorite hott Aquarius blogger, Ultragrrrl notes, those damned dirty apes (actually, just a precocious five year old Macaque in Tel Aviv named Natasha) are walking on their hind legs! It's the end of the world as we know it. The Corsair shivers.
In: Meghan Stier's wonderful Megastyles is back! "She used to write mainly about fashion here," says Meghan of her sexy self," but now uses this blog like everybody else uses their blogs: to muse cathartically about cereal and shoelaces."
We have such a mad crush on Meghan, it's not funny.
Out: Will Smith's Willie. According to Ireland Online:
"Will Smith has had his manhood chopped out of new movie I, Robot in the US, but the sight of will thrill fans in Europe.Smith bares all in a shower scene in the new sci-fi adventure film, which stormed to the top of the American box office at the weekend, but fans in the US will miss the actor's full frontal shot thanks to a little last-minute digital work.
The actor chose to reveal all in the scene to show how vulnerable his paranoid character is - but producers feared censors would cause a fuss, and cut the sight of Smith's manhood from the film.The disappointed star says: 'It's interesting because America is the only place that it's really a big deal.'The scene in this movie was full frontal nudity, but they had to digitally remove it. It was the most expensive CGI shot in the movie. I hope the nude scene appears in other countries.'
"Smith only plucked up the courage to take on the shower scene in the first place after watching Harvey Keitel appear totally nude in controversial director Abel Ferrara's 1992 movie, Bad Lieutenant.He says: 'I saw Bad Lieutenant with Harvey Keitel and I looked at that scene, and Harvey Keitel is just standing there butt naked, and it's almost like the attitude is like: 'Yeah, look at this here.'I'd love to be that comfortable with nudity, but I'll never be that good an actor.'"
The Corsair agrees.
In: The Democratic Party High Rollers Itinerary, as published by Matt Drudge; Among the events:
"Sunday, July 25, 2004 Clambake at the Kennedy Compound
Noon to 2:00 p.m.
"Leadership Council(All guests depart from Four Seasons Hotel)
"Please join Senator and Mrs. Edward M. Kennedy at their historic home in Hyannis for an afternoon clambake (this event is by invitation only).
"Tuesday, July 27, 2004
"Policy Briefing by President William Jefferson Clinton
"The Wang Theater (Ed Note: Tee Hee, A Briefing by President Clinton at the Wang theater, tee hee) 270 Tremont Street 10:00 a.m. to Noon
"Please join President Bill Clinton for a briefing and question and answer session on the key issues facing our country this election year.
"Pool, Bowling and Cocktails with Ben Affleck
Jillian?s 145 Ipswich Street 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m.
"Come join Ben Affleck and shoot some pool and share cocktails at Jillian?s Sports Bar located minutes away from Fenway Park. Special guests also include General Wesley Clark.
"Funny But True: Important Issues in 2004
"The Shubert Theatre 265 Tremont Street 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m.
"Please join political commentator Paul Begala as he highlights the humorous side of election year politics. (Ed Note: You haven't lived on the wild side until you've heard Paul Begala's Ross Perot impression)
"Panel participants include actors Chevy Chase, Ben Affleck and Alec Baldwin.
"Post-Gavel Reception with Senator Kerry Museum of ScienceScience Park 10:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m.
"Please join us as we honor the next President of the United States, John Kerry, and celebrate the final night of convention activities in Boston. And, come hear a special performance by Jon Bon Jovi."
In: Tuscany: it's the new St. Barts, "ecktually" (Averted Gaze) According to the LA.Com blog, Vanity Fair's Winston Light whiffing, Kirby's English socks wearing, architectonically tressed, son-of-a-gun editor, who, in point of fact, has not been able to find space on the cover of his glossy in years for a single African-American in the entertainment industry (I think there are a couple out there: Prince, Oprah, Halle, Will Smith, Tiger Woods, just to name a few ...), is headed to Tuscany:
"It's our loss and Italy's gain. Or perhaps the other way around? Graydon Carter, the Vanity Fair editor-in-chief beleaguered by conflict-of-interest accusations in recent months, had long planned to spend the rest of this summer up at LA?s swank Hotel Bel-Air. But no more. Sources say Carter just cancelled those long-held reservations and instead will be summering at a friend's home in Tuscany. No reason was given for the switch, but I bet Carter's feelings about our fair city have been adversely affected by all those juicy Los Angeles Times articles about his personal Hollywood projects winding up being lauded on VF?s glossy pages. Will Carter change his 'tude by Oscar time?"
Out: Jessica Simpson. Thank God for British Vogue, so that when we are tired from wrestling with Sallust's vivisection of First Century Rome, we can rest our fevered minds, crack open a cold one, hang mellow ... and get in touch with our inner picklehead, to wit:
"JESSICA SIMPSON may have a reputation for being a bit ditzy, but she knows a good thing when she sees it. Since the blonde MTV reality show star draped a multi-coloured shawl around her shoulders during an episode of Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica she has had a marked impression on the fashion economy in Argentina and, in particular, on the 28 knitters in a factory outside Buenos Aires and model-turned-designer Cecilia de Bucourt. 'Since Jessica started wearing my shawls I got more and more demands from her fans who love her style and what she wears,' De Bucourt told AP. 'I'd say it tripled my production in just four months.' Jessica, who bought her shawl in a boutique on New York's Upper East Side for $200 is pleased that she's been able to share some of her good fortune. 'I never would have thought that my love for shopping could have such a meaningful impact on someone's life,' the 24-year-old singer said. 'Nick and I have gotten a lot of attention from reality television but this is the kind of reality that really matters.'"
What really matters, yes, you dingy broad-- nothing says "meaningful impact on people's lives" quite like a shawl.
In: Ben Affleck showed the cast and crew of Surviving Christmas his "junk on the briefcase." But now Benben is going to show the world his kung fu grasp of geopolitical issues, as the most excellent Rush and Molloy report (3rd item):
"Look for Ben Affleck to address the Democratic Convention Tuesday night in Boston. The local boy's rep confirms, 'We're finalizing details now.'"
Note to delegates: Please keep your briefcases out of Ben Affleck's reach.
Out: The wacky pseudodivorce procedings of Vanessa Williams and Jason Foxx, according to the National Enquirer:
"Williams and Fox live on opposite coastsVanessa Williams and her husband, L.A. Laker Rick Fox, have a bizarre relationship, even by Hollywood standards -- he cheats on her, they live apart and decide to divorce, but they never file the court papers!
"'It's the wackiest divorce in showbiz -- they've spent 18 months talking about splitting up and do nothing!' said a source close to the couple.
"After The ENQUIRER published a photo of Fox kissing a beautiful blonde on June 25 ... Fox's publicist confirmed the marriage was over. Fox was caught red-handed in a nightclub called Da Dawghouse in Waikiki, Hawaii. He was supposed to be in Honolulu for preseason training. But the hoop star was more interested in going one-on-one with the blonde. He danced with her and even had his hands between her legs as she sat at the bar, according to an eyewitness.
"While Rick lives on the West Coast and Vanessa lives on the East Coast, their publicists need to meet somewhere in the middle and get their stories straight! Vanessa's publicist Brad Cafarelli told The ENQUIRER: 'They are not separated. Vanessa has not filed for divorce.'
"But Fox's publicist Staci Wolfe was more forthcoming and told us: 'They are heading for a divorce and have been so for the last 18 months. They've virtually been leading separate lives.'
"Added an insider: 'They may get a divorce next week or they may get a divorce in another 18 months. It's wacky. But they do love their kids. And it will break both their hearts when they make it final.'"
In: Page Six's Paula Froelich. Brandusa Niro's Fashionweekdaily tells us: "It seems that the ongoing interest in the gossip world and its wars has spurred a burst of creativity from Page Sixer Paula Froelich. We're told Froelich just submitted a proposal for a novel based on a gossip columnist's life. "
The Corsair is so first in line to buy this book, deciphering the pseudonyms of celebutantes, wanna-be players and the requisite PR flacks. Your pimp hand is strong, Paula Froelich; pimp hard, we want this book to be printed!
Out: As our favorite hott Aquarius blogger, Ultragrrrl notes, those damned dirty apes (actually, just a precocious five year old Macaque in Tel Aviv named Natasha) are walking on their hind legs! It's the end of the world as we know it. The Corsair shivers.
In: Meghan Stier's wonderful Megastyles is back! "She used to write mainly about fashion here," says Meghan of her sexy self," but now uses this blog like everybody else uses their blogs: to muse cathartically about cereal and shoelaces."
We have such a mad crush on Meghan, it's not funny.
Out: Will Smith's Willie. According to Ireland Online:
"Will Smith has had his manhood chopped out of new movie I, Robot in the US, but the sight of will thrill fans in Europe.Smith bares all in a shower scene in the new sci-fi adventure film, which stormed to the top of the American box office at the weekend, but fans in the US will miss the actor's full frontal shot thanks to a little last-minute digital work.
The actor chose to reveal all in the scene to show how vulnerable his paranoid character is - but producers feared censors would cause a fuss, and cut the sight of Smith's manhood from the film.The disappointed star says: 'It's interesting because America is the only place that it's really a big deal.'The scene in this movie was full frontal nudity, but they had to digitally remove it. It was the most expensive CGI shot in the movie. I hope the nude scene appears in other countries.'
"Smith only plucked up the courage to take on the shower scene in the first place after watching Harvey Keitel appear totally nude in controversial director Abel Ferrara's 1992 movie, Bad Lieutenant.He says: 'I saw Bad Lieutenant with Harvey Keitel and I looked at that scene, and Harvey Keitel is just standing there butt naked, and it's almost like the attitude is like: 'Yeah, look at this here.'I'd love to be that comfortable with nudity, but I'll never be that good an actor.'"
The Corsair agrees.
In: The Democratic Party High Rollers Itinerary, as published by Matt Drudge; Among the events:
"Sunday, July 25, 2004 Clambake at the Kennedy Compound
Noon to 2:00 p.m.
"Leadership Council(All guests depart from Four Seasons Hotel)
"Please join Senator and Mrs. Edward M. Kennedy at their historic home in Hyannis for an afternoon clambake (this event is by invitation only).
"Tuesday, July 27, 2004
"Policy Briefing by President William Jefferson Clinton
"The Wang Theater (Ed Note: Tee Hee, A Briefing by President Clinton at the Wang theater, tee hee) 270 Tremont Street 10:00 a.m. to Noon
"Please join President Bill Clinton for a briefing and question and answer session on the key issues facing our country this election year.
"Pool, Bowling and Cocktails with Ben Affleck
Jillian?s 145 Ipswich Street 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m.
"Come join Ben Affleck and shoot some pool and share cocktails at Jillian?s Sports Bar located minutes away from Fenway Park. Special guests also include General Wesley Clark.
"Funny But True: Important Issues in 2004
"The Shubert Theatre 265 Tremont Street 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m.
"Please join political commentator Paul Begala as he highlights the humorous side of election year politics. (Ed Note: You haven't lived on the wild side until you've heard Paul Begala's Ross Perot impression)
"Panel participants include actors Chevy Chase, Ben Affleck and Alec Baldwin.
"Post-Gavel Reception with Senator Kerry Museum of ScienceScience Park 10:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m.
"Please join us as we honor the next President of the United States, John Kerry, and celebrate the final night of convention activities in Boston. And, come hear a special performance by Jon Bon Jovi."
Ice T: 'I Don't Want to Eat Dog Shit'
From Elemental Magazine, Issue 59:
"There was ... a rumor about Ice (T) making an appearance on Celebrity Fear Factor?
"'I was at a party with the President of NBC.' he recalls, 'he's like the big pimp, he controls everything. I'm telling him I like Fear Factor.' He was like 'Would you like to do Fear Factor?' I'm talking all this shit, I'm like 'Hell yeah, I'll do it.' Within a week the phone rang. My boy answered the phone and was like 'Yo, Ice, they are calling about Fear Factor.' I was like 'Oh my God, I can't go on Fear Factor, I might go out in the first round. 'Plus, I dont want to eat dog shit. I was like, 'Nah, I got a back problem.' Really just truly bitched out on that one.'"
From Elemental Magazine, Issue 59:
"There was ... a rumor about Ice (T) making an appearance on Celebrity Fear Factor?
"'I was at a party with the President of NBC.' he recalls, 'he's like the big pimp, he controls everything. I'm telling him I like Fear Factor.' He was like 'Would you like to do Fear Factor?' I'm talking all this shit, I'm like 'Hell yeah, I'll do it.' Within a week the phone rang. My boy answered the phone and was like 'Yo, Ice, they are calling about Fear Factor.' I was like 'Oh my God, I can't go on Fear Factor, I might go out in the first round. 'Plus, I dont want to eat dog shit. I was like, 'Nah, I got a back problem.' Really just truly bitched out on that one.'"
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Christina Applegate on Ben Affleck's "Stuff"
It appears that "the little white haired girl" from Fox's Married with Children is all grown up, and, uh, comfortable with Ben Affleck's "saucy" behavior.
From Hollywood Life, July-August 2004 :
Hollywood Life: You have two indies coming out--Employee of the Month and Grand Theft Parsons -- both of which played this year at Sundance. Be honest. How much free merchandise did you get for just showing up at the festival?
Applegate: It's so sick. We had to get an extra bag because the swag was unbelievable. The best thing we got was a 40 inch flat screen tv ...
(The interview is interrupted when the song 'Milkshake' starts playing on Applegate's cell phone)
HL: How hard is it not to start dancing when your phone rings?
Applegate: I always do. I have a lot of different rings. My husband's (Ed Note: Jonathan Schaech) is 'Lips Like Sugar' by Echo and the Bunnymen.
HL: That makes sense ... what is it like working with Ben Affleck on Surviving Christmas?
Applegate: He's very silly on set. I just wanted him to be quiet so I could work. There's something specific he did that made me laugh but it would ruin his reputation.
HL: If I gave you a flat-screen tv would you tell me?
Applegate: (Laughs) OK, they were doing an insert shot of a briefcase or something, and Ben just decided to put his "stuff" on the briefcase. He would always do things like that: mooning, sticking his tongue in the director's ear. He's very goofy. I just admire him.
I've heard of junk in the trunk, but junk on the briefcase?! Actually, The Corsair tried to be goofy like this at another job's Christmas party but, unfortunately, as he was not an A-Lister, he was charged with sexual harrassment and a restraining order was issued. What can I say? Mi vida loca.
Update! New posts (June 10th) here.
It appears that "the little white haired girl" from Fox's Married with Children is all grown up, and, uh, comfortable with Ben Affleck's "saucy" behavior.
From Hollywood Life, July-August 2004 :
Hollywood Life: You have two indies coming out--Employee of the Month and Grand Theft Parsons -- both of which played this year at Sundance. Be honest. How much free merchandise did you get for just showing up at the festival?
Applegate: It's so sick. We had to get an extra bag because the swag was unbelievable. The best thing we got was a 40 inch flat screen tv ...
(The interview is interrupted when the song 'Milkshake' starts playing on Applegate's cell phone)
HL: How hard is it not to start dancing when your phone rings?
Applegate: I always do. I have a lot of different rings. My husband's (Ed Note: Jonathan Schaech) is 'Lips Like Sugar' by Echo and the Bunnymen.
HL: That makes sense ... what is it like working with Ben Affleck on Surviving Christmas?
Applegate: He's very silly on set. I just wanted him to be quiet so I could work. There's something specific he did that made me laugh but it would ruin his reputation.
HL: If I gave you a flat-screen tv would you tell me?
Applegate: (Laughs) OK, they were doing an insert shot of a briefcase or something, and Ben just decided to put his "stuff" on the briefcase. He would always do things like that: mooning, sticking his tongue in the director's ear. He's very goofy. I just admire him.
I've heard of junk in the trunk, but junk on the briefcase?! Actually, The Corsair tried to be goofy like this at another job's Christmas party but, unfortunately, as he was not an A-Lister, he was charged with sexual harrassment and a restraining order was issued. What can I say? Mi vida loca.
Update! New posts (June 10th) here.
A Little of The Old In and Out
In: Target's Brooklyn Outpost Opening Party, at least as described by a rosy cheeked Gawker reader. Was it the Roman historian Sallust who said, in the brilliant Conspiracy of Catiline (a history of corruption in the Roman Empire of the 1st Century AD), that the words must fit the event described? If so, then the surreal flow of prose immediately below, should match precisely the oddness of Target's opening a outpost in the BK:
"Men in red eyeshadow and girls with Robert Smith hair -- they've never been to Atlantic Center! I'm not fooled -- and doing shots of tequila? That's not going to work out in the end. And then what I was more ashamed of myself was how sad I was that in two weeks, once this joint is open to masses of brooklyn trash who make Pathmark unusable, I will never again be able to admire the rows and rows of blue greeting cards and purchase them with matching envelopes or peruse the aisles of Gatorade without witnessing parents beat their children in the middle and the dirty sick part of me just wants Target to stay exactly like it was last night."
It is the dirty sick parts in which this blog is concerned. As you will soon see ...
Out: Chris Rock's recipe for crack. A very special Corsair, where funnyman Chris Rock talks to Jenna Jameson and Court Love's pal, Neil Strauss about proper lactose levels when making your own "crack rock". His worst career move since playing "Nat X" on SNL.
In: The Jackasses. These cats are having a hell of a good time in the limelight, all told, true believers. According to The Star, that significant cultural artifact:
"Though (Johnny Knoxville's) still married to his wife of seven years, Melanie (with whom he has a daughter, Madison, 6) he too loves to party (Ed. Note: no shit) . 'Just like on the show, he's incredibly spontaneous and funny,' says a source close to Knoxville. 'It's just what Kate needs after the split.' The two were reportedly spotted in New York on June 17 having lunch and then later that night were caught fondling at the trendy rockers Franz Ferdinand concert at Webster Hall. Then on July 1, the two were reportedly spied canoodling at a pub in North London. 'She spent the whole evening all over Johnny,' a source reported. A pal of Knoxville told Star: 'Johnny and Kate are very, very, very close friends. But yes, he's still married.'"
And, what's more, British Vogue reports:
"SEEMS that a Jackass face is the latest supermodel accessory. Kate Moss' friendship with the sexy star of the show, Johnny Knoxville, has been well documented and now May Anderson has taken her example. The sultry catwalker was spotted strolling hand-in-hand with Knoxville's sidekick, Steve-O, in New York this week. Apparently roller skating backwards off cliffs and falling out of supermarket trolleys is the way to get the girl ..."
Just last week, I was out with a sophisticated woman who extolled the virtues of the Jackass crew against a barrage of my derision; she sustained the argument all through lunch. Women like risk takers, I suppose, and these guys represent that; although it's hard for me to fathom through all the playa hating. If anyone can explain this phenomenon to me, I'm at papermag@yahoo.com. Until then, I'll console myself with the notion that these guys don't do yoga every day and keep a dream journal like I do. So there.
Out: The Smoking Gun publishes what may be one of the strangest stories ever, and that, for SmokingGun, is quite a feat indeed:
"A Florida man assaulted his girlfriend with a three-foot alligator during a domestic dispute Friday morning, according to cops. David Havennar, 41, was charged with battery for smacking girlfriend Nancy Monico in the ribs with the gator, who lived in a bathtub in Havennar's Port Orange home, according to the below Volusia County Sheriff's Office report. Monico told deputies that she did not know why Havennar had an alligator in his bathtub, but claimed her beau was 'torturing' the reptile. However, an examination of the reptile--which was seized by state wildlife officials--showed no signs of abuse. Monico, on the other hand, suffered minor injuries to her lip, legs, and back area, according to investigators. For his part, Havennar claimed that Monico started the 9 AM dustup when she 'bit him on the hand because she was mad about being out of alcohol.'"
The rough patches of any relationship can be lubricated, I suppose, with a lusty sip of the old "Budweiser." But, The Corsair imagines, Monico probably didn't "cook up the possum and fixins" to his liking. Monico might even possibly have been "messing with his crank," meriting the lamentable minor injuries to the "back area," so skillfully described in the police report. And, of course, the coup de grace, in his mugshot, this paragon of manliness is not even wearing a shirt. Like Shaq's biological: He didn't bother. Domestic violence, pet reptiles, argumenst over domestic beer, unselfconscious shirtlessness -- you see where I'm going with this: Can you guess this man's socioeconomic class?
Only in Florida, kiddies, only in Florida.
In: The New York Observer. The salmon colored weekly, every once in a while, turns in a chestnut, gets it right, makes us proud to be in (The Corsair traces invisible ironic quotation marks into thin air) "the media". This is one such a moment (link via Gawkie poo). Observe, as the intrepid Observer staff catch our specimen, a rara avis, one P Diddy, in mid-hustle:
"Sean (P. Diddy) Combs is not known for being at a loss for words.
"But the hip-hop impresario was speechless for several seconds when The Transom asked him about his own voting record at a press conference on Tuesday morning to introduce Citizen Change, the voter-registration task force that he founded. Asked about the last time he�d voted, Mr. Combs, wearing sunglasses and a dark sports jacket over a 'Vote or Die' T-shirt, confessed that he last entered a voting booth and pulled the lever in 2000. Mr. Combs stood at a podium in Kimmel Auditorium at N.Y.U., surrounded by red-white-and-blue balloons in front of an audience that half-expected him to launch his own run for office.
"When queried whether he voted in city elections, Mr. Combs said, 'No.' An awkward silence ensued; the microphone squealed. Could he elaborate on why? 'To be honest, I�m just�I was just as disenfranchised as the younger disenfranchised voters,' he stammered, before the smooth-talking salesman kicked in. 'It�s just recently, in 2000, that I started to educate myself and understand the way the system works. So that�s what makes this thing so much more relevant, because I�m not talking from the outside. I understand a lot about how young people feel and how minorities feel; we feel that the system doesn�t work. But I can�t just sit back and complain about it, you know�I can do something about it. So I don�t have a long-lasting record history of voting, but I do have a long-lasting record of communicating and motivating and energizing and synergizing young people and, you know, I�m just like them. You know, I didn�t believe in the process, so I can explain to young people why they should get motivated with this.' The applause was thunderous. "
The Corsair quietly sips pimp juice from an "icy" custom made pimp goblet.
"'Now wasn�t that a good answer!?' shouted a member of the Citizen Change posse, a group that includes political bulldog James Carville, who showed up in a sport coat, pink shirt and green plaid tie to fulfill his duties as chairman. ('He didn�t take no paper because he knows we ain�t got no money,' Mr. Combs had said earlier. 'He was so nice to donate his time.')
The bullshit-hustle continues here at Wagnerian length. And yet you can't stop reading.
Out: Giorgio Armani is on the outs with the Old Gray Lady; he's got his panties in a twist, according to British Vogue, chill Giorgio:
"GIORGIO ARMANI has pulled all future ads from the New York Times after its somewhat negative review of his spring/summer 2005 menswear collection. Famous for previously refusing to advertise in US Vogue because, he claimed, it did not give him enough editorial support, the designer first reacted to the show report by taking out a full-page spread to highlight his more flattering reviews. And he is now refusing to advertise again until further notice. 'It is correct that the Armani Group has removed the New York Times newspaper (not the New York Times Magazine) from its advertising plan,' a spokesperson for the company told The Daily. 'This decision has been taken as a result of the existence of a persistent and significant philosophical difference with the newspaper's fashion desk. We have no other comment to make at this time.' The review, which appeared in the July 4 issue of the paper, read as follows: 'The creative possibilities of Italian fashion were once clearly synonymous with the name of Giorgio Armani. When exactly, one wonders, did that stop being the case? It is not so much that talk about corporate succession has damaged the image as the designer approaches 70. It is not that people have forgotten Mr Armani's profound contributions to fashion design. It is that shows like the one Mr Armani presented this week seem errant, confounding and stuck in a vision of an unrecognisable world.'"
That Guy Trebay (The Corsair softly chuckles), causing all sorts of ruckus and hullaballoo (Averted Gaze).
In: Tony Brown. Have you ever seen our favorite African-American "self-help" Republican show Tony Bown's Journal on PBS? The show was decidedly low rent, but informative, sort of like a tv version of Jet Magazine without the class; I learned about George Washington Carver's little --ahem -- "innovations on the theme of almonds" on this program .
Tony Brown's Journal definitely had a sort of X-File-ish vibe of conspiracy about it; whiffs of schizophrenia, really; as a kid this show kind of freaked me out. If you haven't seen Tony Brown's Journal, you missed out on hard-hitting discussions on lead poisoning, hypertension, the possible consequences of the the Y2K computer bug, and the use of Malathion to combat an outbreak of mosquito-borne encephalitis. You see where I'm going with this. Let's just say that the show is a little "eccentric," even "odd." And let's leave it at that, so that in my memories, when I look backward, the show has a warm, kind patina to it.
Anyhoo: Tony Brown, apparently, will be the new Dean (link via Romenesko) of Hampton University's Scripps Howard School of Journalism and Communications. Far out, Tony Brown's School Days.
True story: I saw Tony Brown at a fast food Chinese restaurant in Manhattan roughly five years ago. He had the General Tso's chicken, I believe. He was wearing earth tone short pants and his legs were in dire need of cocoa butter. My childhood image of him was shattered.
Out: According to the excellent Rush and Molloy (5th Item), Michael Moore is defending Linda Ronstadt in her fracas, going so far as offering to sing for his supper:
"'Fahrenheit 9/11' filmmaker Michael Moore is aflame after hearing that Las Vegas' Aladdin Hotel & Casino ejected Linda Ronstadt. As we told you yesterday, Aladdin security showed the singer the door when she hailed Moore as her 'Desperado.'
"Blasting the move as 'stupid and un-American,' Moore told the Aladdin president in a letter: 'Invite her back and I'll join her in singing 'America the Beautiful' on your stage."
Oh, dear lord, please don't, Michael. You are a talented filmmaker, let's leave it at that.
In: Target's Brooklyn Outpost Opening Party, at least as described by a rosy cheeked Gawker reader. Was it the Roman historian Sallust who said, in the brilliant Conspiracy of Catiline (a history of corruption in the Roman Empire of the 1st Century AD), that the words must fit the event described? If so, then the surreal flow of prose immediately below, should match precisely the oddness of Target's opening a outpost in the BK:
"Men in red eyeshadow and girls with Robert Smith hair -- they've never been to Atlantic Center! I'm not fooled -- and doing shots of tequila? That's not going to work out in the end. And then what I was more ashamed of myself was how sad I was that in two weeks, once this joint is open to masses of brooklyn trash who make Pathmark unusable, I will never again be able to admire the rows and rows of blue greeting cards and purchase them with matching envelopes or peruse the aisles of Gatorade without witnessing parents beat their children in the middle and the dirty sick part of me just wants Target to stay exactly like it was last night."
It is the dirty sick parts in which this blog is concerned. As you will soon see ...
Out: Chris Rock's recipe for crack. A very special Corsair, where funnyman Chris Rock talks to Jenna Jameson and Court Love's pal, Neil Strauss about proper lactose levels when making your own "crack rock". His worst career move since playing "Nat X" on SNL.
In: The Jackasses. These cats are having a hell of a good time in the limelight, all told, true believers. According to The Star, that significant cultural artifact:
"Though (Johnny Knoxville's) still married to his wife of seven years, Melanie (with whom he has a daughter, Madison, 6) he too loves to party (Ed. Note: no shit) . 'Just like on the show, he's incredibly spontaneous and funny,' says a source close to Knoxville. 'It's just what Kate needs after the split.' The two were reportedly spotted in New York on June 17 having lunch and then later that night were caught fondling at the trendy rockers Franz Ferdinand concert at Webster Hall. Then on July 1, the two were reportedly spied canoodling at a pub in North London. 'She spent the whole evening all over Johnny,' a source reported. A pal of Knoxville told Star: 'Johnny and Kate are very, very, very close friends. But yes, he's still married.'"
And, what's more, British Vogue reports:
"SEEMS that a Jackass face is the latest supermodel accessory. Kate Moss' friendship with the sexy star of the show, Johnny Knoxville, has been well documented and now May Anderson has taken her example. The sultry catwalker was spotted strolling hand-in-hand with Knoxville's sidekick, Steve-O, in New York this week. Apparently roller skating backwards off cliffs and falling out of supermarket trolleys is the way to get the girl ..."
Just last week, I was out with a sophisticated woman who extolled the virtues of the Jackass crew against a barrage of my derision; she sustained the argument all through lunch. Women like risk takers, I suppose, and these guys represent that; although it's hard for me to fathom through all the playa hating. If anyone can explain this phenomenon to me, I'm at papermag@yahoo.com. Until then, I'll console myself with the notion that these guys don't do yoga every day and keep a dream journal like I do. So there.
Out: The Smoking Gun publishes what may be one of the strangest stories ever, and that, for SmokingGun, is quite a feat indeed:
"A Florida man assaulted his girlfriend with a three-foot alligator during a domestic dispute Friday morning, according to cops. David Havennar, 41, was charged with battery for smacking girlfriend Nancy Monico in the ribs with the gator, who lived in a bathtub in Havennar's Port Orange home, according to the below Volusia County Sheriff's Office report. Monico told deputies that she did not know why Havennar had an alligator in his bathtub, but claimed her beau was 'torturing' the reptile. However, an examination of the reptile--which was seized by state wildlife officials--showed no signs of abuse. Monico, on the other hand, suffered minor injuries to her lip, legs, and back area, according to investigators. For his part, Havennar claimed that Monico started the 9 AM dustup when she 'bit him on the hand because she was mad about being out of alcohol.'"
The rough patches of any relationship can be lubricated, I suppose, with a lusty sip of the old "Budweiser." But, The Corsair imagines, Monico probably didn't "cook up the possum and fixins" to his liking. Monico might even possibly have been "messing with his crank," meriting the lamentable minor injuries to the "back area," so skillfully described in the police report. And, of course, the coup de grace, in his mugshot, this paragon of manliness is not even wearing a shirt. Like Shaq's biological: He didn't bother. Domestic violence, pet reptiles, argumenst over domestic beer, unselfconscious shirtlessness -- you see where I'm going with this: Can you guess this man's socioeconomic class?
Only in Florida, kiddies, only in Florida.
In: The New York Observer. The salmon colored weekly, every once in a while, turns in a chestnut, gets it right, makes us proud to be in (The Corsair traces invisible ironic quotation marks into thin air) "the media". This is one such a moment (link via Gawkie poo). Observe, as the intrepid Observer staff catch our specimen, a rara avis, one P Diddy, in mid-hustle:
"Sean (P. Diddy) Combs is not known for being at a loss for words.
"But the hip-hop impresario was speechless for several seconds when The Transom asked him about his own voting record at a press conference on Tuesday morning to introduce Citizen Change, the voter-registration task force that he founded. Asked about the last time he�d voted, Mr. Combs, wearing sunglasses and a dark sports jacket over a 'Vote or Die' T-shirt, confessed that he last entered a voting booth and pulled the lever in 2000. Mr. Combs stood at a podium in Kimmel Auditorium at N.Y.U., surrounded by red-white-and-blue balloons in front of an audience that half-expected him to launch his own run for office.
"When queried whether he voted in city elections, Mr. Combs said, 'No.' An awkward silence ensued; the microphone squealed. Could he elaborate on why? 'To be honest, I�m just�I was just as disenfranchised as the younger disenfranchised voters,' he stammered, before the smooth-talking salesman kicked in. 'It�s just recently, in 2000, that I started to educate myself and understand the way the system works. So that�s what makes this thing so much more relevant, because I�m not talking from the outside. I understand a lot about how young people feel and how minorities feel; we feel that the system doesn�t work. But I can�t just sit back and complain about it, you know�I can do something about it. So I don�t have a long-lasting record history of voting, but I do have a long-lasting record of communicating and motivating and energizing and synergizing young people and, you know, I�m just like them. You know, I didn�t believe in the process, so I can explain to young people why they should get motivated with this.' The applause was thunderous. "
The Corsair quietly sips pimp juice from an "icy" custom made pimp goblet.
"'Now wasn�t that a good answer!?' shouted a member of the Citizen Change posse, a group that includes political bulldog James Carville, who showed up in a sport coat, pink shirt and green plaid tie to fulfill his duties as chairman. ('He didn�t take no paper because he knows we ain�t got no money,' Mr. Combs had said earlier. 'He was so nice to donate his time.')
The bullshit-hustle continues here at Wagnerian length. And yet you can't stop reading.
Out: Giorgio Armani is on the outs with the Old Gray Lady; he's got his panties in a twist, according to British Vogue, chill Giorgio:
"GIORGIO ARMANI has pulled all future ads from the New York Times after its somewhat negative review of his spring/summer 2005 menswear collection. Famous for previously refusing to advertise in US Vogue because, he claimed, it did not give him enough editorial support, the designer first reacted to the show report by taking out a full-page spread to highlight his more flattering reviews. And he is now refusing to advertise again until further notice. 'It is correct that the Armani Group has removed the New York Times newspaper (not the New York Times Magazine) from its advertising plan,' a spokesperson for the company told The Daily. 'This decision has been taken as a result of the existence of a persistent and significant philosophical difference with the newspaper's fashion desk. We have no other comment to make at this time.' The review, which appeared in the July 4 issue of the paper, read as follows: 'The creative possibilities of Italian fashion were once clearly synonymous with the name of Giorgio Armani. When exactly, one wonders, did that stop being the case? It is not so much that talk about corporate succession has damaged the image as the designer approaches 70. It is not that people have forgotten Mr Armani's profound contributions to fashion design. It is that shows like the one Mr Armani presented this week seem errant, confounding and stuck in a vision of an unrecognisable world.'"
That Guy Trebay (The Corsair softly chuckles), causing all sorts of ruckus and hullaballoo (Averted Gaze).
In: Tony Brown. Have you ever seen our favorite African-American "self-help" Republican show Tony Bown's Journal on PBS? The show was decidedly low rent, but informative, sort of like a tv version of Jet Magazine without the class; I learned about George Washington Carver's little --ahem -- "innovations on the theme of almonds" on this program .
Tony Brown's Journal definitely had a sort of X-File-ish vibe of conspiracy about it; whiffs of schizophrenia, really; as a kid this show kind of freaked me out. If you haven't seen Tony Brown's Journal, you missed out on hard-hitting discussions on lead poisoning, hypertension, the possible consequences of the the Y2K computer bug, and the use of Malathion to combat an outbreak of mosquito-borne encephalitis. You see where I'm going with this. Let's just say that the show is a little "eccentric," even "odd." And let's leave it at that, so that in my memories, when I look backward, the show has a warm, kind patina to it.
Anyhoo: Tony Brown, apparently, will be the new Dean (link via Romenesko) of Hampton University's Scripps Howard School of Journalism and Communications. Far out, Tony Brown's School Days.
True story: I saw Tony Brown at a fast food Chinese restaurant in Manhattan roughly five years ago. He had the General Tso's chicken, I believe. He was wearing earth tone short pants and his legs were in dire need of cocoa butter. My childhood image of him was shattered.
Out: According to the excellent Rush and Molloy (5th Item), Michael Moore is defending Linda Ronstadt in her fracas, going so far as offering to sing for his supper:
"'Fahrenheit 9/11' filmmaker Michael Moore is aflame after hearing that Las Vegas' Aladdin Hotel & Casino ejected Linda Ronstadt. As we told you yesterday, Aladdin security showed the singer the door when she hailed Moore as her 'Desperado.'
"Blasting the move as 'stupid and un-American,' Moore told the Aladdin president in a letter: 'Invite her back and I'll join her in singing 'America the Beautiful' on your stage."
Oh, dear lord, please don't, Michael. You are a talented filmmaker, let's leave it at that.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: Polo, baby, polo (The Corsair repeats, sotto voce, one more time, with solemnity in his tone and salt in his game, he whispers: "Po-lo"). That's not teen spirit in the air, true believers, it's horse-musk; horse musk, freshly manicured grounds, and the sounds of soft chuckling, as the specially-imported South American players (the second South American import of choice) roam the night in search of a little of the old in and out. It's summer, playboy, which means, quite frankly, that Polo is so very "in" among the chubby, sweaty, shortfingered Hamptons vulgarians who tend to look not unlike Harvey Weinstein, and graze annually, with the slow certitude of apex predators, at their favorite watering holes in the Hamptons; they dine, of course, on the lean, juicy and tender meat of fashion models. (The Corsair puts on his urban anthropolgist's gear, grabs a tropical butterfly net, and sets to work) Fashionweekdaily assesses the talent in the room:
"The crowds consensus of the sixth-annual Bridgehampton Polo event was that it was a more laid back, mellower scene than in years past. Granted even without an SLR in attendance?there was no lack of flash, thanks to the dozens of other high-priced Benzes parked on the fields, the Zino platinum cigars many gentlemen and even a few women were seen puffing on, and the last-minute arrival of a statuesque and pregnant Stephanie Seymour (hubby Peter Brant, who owns Interview magazine, is also the VP of the Bridgehampton Polo Club). The afternoons mistress of ceremonies, Jessica Alba, who flew to the Hamptons via helicopter, arrived wearing a floral chiffon Jil Sander dress, Christian Louboutin peep-toe sandals, and a white Louis Vuitton Suhali bag, accessorized with a pink diamond cross she designed herself and a 20-karat heart-shaped ring from Jacob the Jeweler. 'This is my first time in the Hamptons,' said Alba, who spent most of her time in the VIP tent. 'It feels just like Connecticut, but more laid back.'"
Okay, okay, so she's not sophisticated -- she's still very pretty and she dresses nice.
Out: Badgely Mishka. According to British Vogue, despite the fact that Badgely Mishka has annual retail sales of $40 million a year, and Charlotte from Sex and the City wore their dress to her wedding:
"MARK BADGLEY and James Mischka announced this week that they would not be producing a spring/summer 2005 collection, having failed to find funding for it. The star design duo, who launched their label 16 years ago after meeting at Parsons School of Design, initially financed Badgley Mischka themselves with family money. In 1992, they sold an estimated 80 per cent of the business to Escada. However, as part of the cost-cutting initiative that it launched in 2001, the German fashion giant has admitted that it is no longer willing to come up with the ($927,000) that it costs to produce a collection of Badgley Mischka exquisitely embroidered evening dresses. The label was put up for sale last October and, despite several companies having shown interest, the designers said jointly yesterday that 'an agreement has not been finalised thus far and funding is therefore not available for a spring/summer collection.'"
This is a Tragedy. I covered the tents during Fall Fashion Week in 2000 for a small consumer publication, and Badgley Mishka, by far, blew me away; nothing came close to their excellence. The Corsair, a fan of beautiful things, sincerely hopes that the show will go on at Badgley Mishka, purveyor of stunning swishy things.
In: Winona Ryder, or, in the words of Kentucky-born fellow waif Johnny Depp's tatoo, "Wino Forever."According to AFlyonthewall a strange Winona scene unfolded:
"The other night, diners at Beverly Hills restaurant Kate Mantilini were treated to a bizarre, impromptu performance by convicted thief Winona Ryder. Ryder was eating quietly with two young women who had the twitchy, skittish appearance of personal assistants."
The Corsair softly chuckles.
"Toward the end of their meal, however, Ryder loudly began demanding that one of the young women 'give it to me!' After a few minutes of noisy Ryder histrionics, according to eyewitnesses, one of the young women reluctantly handed a cellular phone to the actress. Ryder then made an immediate beeline for the ladies' room. A few minutes later, diners heard Ryder screaming and crying loudly as she pleaded with someone named Ricky on the phone in the john. 'No, no, no, Ricky, you promised!' Ryder wailed repeatedly. Several curious female diners made their way to the restroom, where they found Ryder squatting on the bathroom floor moaning into the cellphone. When Ryder saw that she had an appreciative audience, however, she began screaming obscenities at the women and locked herself in the bathroom. About ten minutes later, a smudgy-eyed Ryder quickly exited the john and out a restaurant side door, then climbed into an arriving limousine. Her female dining companions were left to pick up the check. Coincidentally, Kate Mantilini is right down the street from the scene of Ryder's department store thieving performance. While Ryder has been known to credit bizarre public behavior in the past to 'research for a part,' she's not presently working. She was slated to shoot Oskur Fishman this summer with Ben Kingsley, but financing fell apart at the last minute. Ryder finished filming A Scanner Darkly in June, a Richard Linklater adaptation of the Philip K. Dick novel."
Out: Chad Lowe; that poor fucker, as if it isn't bad enough that Rob got all the looks and acting talent, and you got stuck with the unremarkable name, "Chad," dooming you from the start to a life of mediocrity, and, finally, directing some low grade piece of ass tv show called, Hack. ( A reptilian gleam alights The Corsair's eyes) But according to NY Daily News' Lloyd Grove (2nd item), Chad is using his wife's juice -- again (Averted gaze):
"Soho House is, like, so last year. But, as Chad Lowe learned the hard way, it's still not any easier to get inside.
"Lowdown hears that the 36-year-old actor - better known as Rob's younger brother and Hilary Swank's hubby - showed up at the ultra-exclusive, British-accented club on Saturday and attempted entry with a group of friends.
"When the young women at the front desk couldn't locate his name in the member database, Lowe told them, 'I'm about to be a member in a week.' But after a bit of back-and-forth, it became clear that he had never even submitted an application. 'Er, can I just apply now?'
No dice: Soho House aspirants must be nominated by two members in good standing before submitting their application to a strict committee, which meets just once every three months.
Which left Lowe with Plan C: Hinting that if the club let him in, his wife would begin making frequent Soho House cameos. Alas, even that didn't work, so finally Lowe and his posse were forced to slink away.
" ... The New York Times recently reported that when Lowe's assistant was unsuccessful in reserving a table at the fully booked West Village restaurant Hue, he sniffed, 'That's a shame, because his wife, Academy Award-winner Hilary Swank, is very hungry.'"
So pathetic.
In: The National Enquirer's ultra-trashy, horrible, excessive, raw sewage of a journalistic expose on Britney Spears' "roots." Here's a taste (guaranteed, you'll have to take a looong, cold shower after reading this one, kids):
"Superstar Britney Spears' erratic behavior has been generating headlines for nearly a year, but she's one of the most stable individuals in her family!
"Britney has a dark family secret -- two of her uncles are ex-cons with long rap sheets for crimes in three states, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively from court records.
"While Britney has amassed a fortune living the glamorous life, one of her uncles is known as 'Road Kill Willie' because sources say he likes to scoop up critters that have been hit by cars and cook them for dinner!
"Road Kill Willie has been busted for burglary, drug distribution and being a deadbeat dad, according to court records. He is the brother of Britney's father Jamie.
"... Britney's other uncle, June Spears, has been charged with assault with a deadly weapon, driving under the influence and beating his wife, say court records.
"Sources close to the family tell The ENQUIRER that Britney avoids her uncles whenever she goes home to Kentwood, La. (And she never dines with Road Kill Willie!)"
"... Willie spends most of the time living in tents and camper trailers or sleeping in cars.
"'Until recently, Willie was living in an 18-foot trailer on a riverbank outside of Kentwood,' said the insider. 'But Willie got hard up for cash and ended up selling his trailer for $60.
"These days he sleeps in his van or stays with friends. 'June lives about the same way as Willie, squatting anywhere he can.'
"Britney's dad sometimes gives Road Kill Willie, 46, and June, 41, work with his construction company, said a source. But the source said the pair fight so much, one of them usually has to go."
Read here if you want the 411 on the restraining orders, the DUI's, the spousal abuses and the public intoxication charges filed against the "possum eatin' kinfolk" who share Britney's DNA signature.
Out: According to Hello! Magazine, Brad buys Jennifer Aniston Liz Taylor's yacht:
"Brad Pitt has bought his wife Jennifer Aniston a piece of Hollywood history - the yacht once owned by Richard Burton and silver screen goddess Elizabeth Taylor.The 165ft Kalizma was originally purchased by Richard Burton in 1967, when he wanted to congratulate Liz on her Oscar for Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?. The couple named it after their three children together, Kate, Liza and Marie."
"... (Richard Burton) paid $148,000 when he bought the yacht, but it is reported to set Brad back by a staggering ($5,500.000). With enough room to sleep ten people and a crew of eight, it features an antique-furnished dining-room, four-poster beds and artworks by Picasso, Monet and Van Gogh."
Thus forever negating any future, "but there so down to earth" lines.
In: Quadruplets. According to Reuters:
"Pop star Michael Jackson, facing a trial on child molestation charges, is about to become a father to four more children -- quadruplets -- by way of a surrogate mother, Us Weekly magazine reported on Tuesday.
"Citing unnamed sources close to the self-proclaimed 'King of Pop,' the magazine said Jackson recently spent time with the pregnant mother-to-be in Florida, where he stayed in a $4,000-a-night luxury hotel suite in Miami Beach. "
Oh, dear.
Out: Sandy, you got some 'splainin to do. Stupid ass Sandy Berger, former National Security Advisor, may have "borrowed" classified documents relating the the 911 Commission; says Fox (link via Drudgie Poo):
"Sandy Berger is under scrutiny by the Justice Department following the disappearance of documents he was reviewing at the National Archives.
"Berger's home and office were searched earlier this year by FBI agents armed with warrants after the former Clinton adviser voluntarily returned some sensitive documents to the National Archives and admitted he also removed handwritten notes he had made while reviewing the sensitive documents.
"However, some drafts of a sensitive after-action report on the Clinton administration's handling of Al Qaeda terror threats during the December 1999 millennium celebration are still missing, officials and lawyers said. Officials said the missing documents also identified America's terror vulnerabilities at airports to seaports.
"Berger and his lawyer said Monday night he knowingly removed the handwritten notes by placing them in his jacket, pants and socks, and also inadvertently took copies of actual classified documents in a leather portfolio."
Democrats are actually supporting him
In: The Best of The Corsair
In: Polo, baby, polo (The Corsair repeats, sotto voce, one more time, with solemnity in his tone and salt in his game, he whispers: "Po-lo"). That's not teen spirit in the air, true believers, it's horse-musk; horse musk, freshly manicured grounds, and the sounds of soft chuckling, as the specially-imported South American players (the second South American import of choice) roam the night in search of a little of the old in and out. It's summer, playboy, which means, quite frankly, that Polo is so very "in" among the chubby, sweaty, shortfingered Hamptons vulgarians who tend to look not unlike Harvey Weinstein, and graze annually, with the slow certitude of apex predators, at their favorite watering holes in the Hamptons; they dine, of course, on the lean, juicy and tender meat of fashion models. (The Corsair puts on his urban anthropolgist's gear, grabs a tropical butterfly net, and sets to work) Fashionweekdaily assesses the talent in the room:
"The crowds consensus of the sixth-annual Bridgehampton Polo event was that it was a more laid back, mellower scene than in years past. Granted even without an SLR in attendance?there was no lack of flash, thanks to the dozens of other high-priced Benzes parked on the fields, the Zino platinum cigars many gentlemen and even a few women were seen puffing on, and the last-minute arrival of a statuesque and pregnant Stephanie Seymour (hubby Peter Brant, who owns Interview magazine, is also the VP of the Bridgehampton Polo Club). The afternoons mistress of ceremonies, Jessica Alba, who flew to the Hamptons via helicopter, arrived wearing a floral chiffon Jil Sander dress, Christian Louboutin peep-toe sandals, and a white Louis Vuitton Suhali bag, accessorized with a pink diamond cross she designed herself and a 20-karat heart-shaped ring from Jacob the Jeweler. 'This is my first time in the Hamptons,' said Alba, who spent most of her time in the VIP tent. 'It feels just like Connecticut, but more laid back.'"
Okay, okay, so she's not sophisticated -- she's still very pretty and she dresses nice.
Out: Badgely Mishka. According to British Vogue, despite the fact that Badgely Mishka has annual retail sales of $40 million a year, and Charlotte from Sex and the City wore their dress to her wedding:
"MARK BADGLEY and James Mischka announced this week that they would not be producing a spring/summer 2005 collection, having failed to find funding for it. The star design duo, who launched their label 16 years ago after meeting at Parsons School of Design, initially financed Badgley Mischka themselves with family money. In 1992, they sold an estimated 80 per cent of the business to Escada. However, as part of the cost-cutting initiative that it launched in 2001, the German fashion giant has admitted that it is no longer willing to come up with the ($927,000) that it costs to produce a collection of Badgley Mischka exquisitely embroidered evening dresses. The label was put up for sale last October and, despite several companies having shown interest, the designers said jointly yesterday that 'an agreement has not been finalised thus far and funding is therefore not available for a spring/summer collection.'"
This is a Tragedy. I covered the tents during Fall Fashion Week in 2000 for a small consumer publication, and Badgley Mishka, by far, blew me away; nothing came close to their excellence. The Corsair, a fan of beautiful things, sincerely hopes that the show will go on at Badgley Mishka, purveyor of stunning swishy things.
In: Winona Ryder, or, in the words of Kentucky-born fellow waif Johnny Depp's tatoo, "Wino Forever."According to AFlyonthewall a strange Winona scene unfolded:
"The other night, diners at Beverly Hills restaurant Kate Mantilini were treated to a bizarre, impromptu performance by convicted thief Winona Ryder. Ryder was eating quietly with two young women who had the twitchy, skittish appearance of personal assistants."
The Corsair softly chuckles.
"Toward the end of their meal, however, Ryder loudly began demanding that one of the young women 'give it to me!' After a few minutes of noisy Ryder histrionics, according to eyewitnesses, one of the young women reluctantly handed a cellular phone to the actress. Ryder then made an immediate beeline for the ladies' room. A few minutes later, diners heard Ryder screaming and crying loudly as she pleaded with someone named Ricky on the phone in the john. 'No, no, no, Ricky, you promised!' Ryder wailed repeatedly. Several curious female diners made their way to the restroom, where they found Ryder squatting on the bathroom floor moaning into the cellphone. When Ryder saw that she had an appreciative audience, however, she began screaming obscenities at the women and locked herself in the bathroom. About ten minutes later, a smudgy-eyed Ryder quickly exited the john and out a restaurant side door, then climbed into an arriving limousine. Her female dining companions were left to pick up the check. Coincidentally, Kate Mantilini is right down the street from the scene of Ryder's department store thieving performance. While Ryder has been known to credit bizarre public behavior in the past to 'research for a part,' she's not presently working. She was slated to shoot Oskur Fishman this summer with Ben Kingsley, but financing fell apart at the last minute. Ryder finished filming A Scanner Darkly in June, a Richard Linklater adaptation of the Philip K. Dick novel."
Out: Chad Lowe; that poor fucker, as if it isn't bad enough that Rob got all the looks and acting talent, and you got stuck with the unremarkable name, "Chad," dooming you from the start to a life of mediocrity, and, finally, directing some low grade piece of ass tv show called, Hack. ( A reptilian gleam alights The Corsair's eyes) But according to NY Daily News' Lloyd Grove (2nd item), Chad is using his wife's juice -- again (Averted gaze):
"Soho House is, like, so last year. But, as Chad Lowe learned the hard way, it's still not any easier to get inside.
"Lowdown hears that the 36-year-old actor - better known as Rob's younger brother and Hilary Swank's hubby - showed up at the ultra-exclusive, British-accented club on Saturday and attempted entry with a group of friends.
"When the young women at the front desk couldn't locate his name in the member database, Lowe told them, 'I'm about to be a member in a week.' But after a bit of back-and-forth, it became clear that he had never even submitted an application. 'Er, can I just apply now?'
No dice: Soho House aspirants must be nominated by two members in good standing before submitting their application to a strict committee, which meets just once every three months.
Which left Lowe with Plan C: Hinting that if the club let him in, his wife would begin making frequent Soho House cameos. Alas, even that didn't work, so finally Lowe and his posse were forced to slink away.
" ... The New York Times recently reported that when Lowe's assistant was unsuccessful in reserving a table at the fully booked West Village restaurant Hue, he sniffed, 'That's a shame, because his wife, Academy Award-winner Hilary Swank, is very hungry.'"
So pathetic.
In: The National Enquirer's ultra-trashy, horrible, excessive, raw sewage of a journalistic expose on Britney Spears' "roots." Here's a taste (guaranteed, you'll have to take a looong, cold shower after reading this one, kids):
"Superstar Britney Spears' erratic behavior has been generating headlines for nearly a year, but she's one of the most stable individuals in her family!
"Britney has a dark family secret -- two of her uncles are ex-cons with long rap sheets for crimes in three states, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively from court records.
"While Britney has amassed a fortune living the glamorous life, one of her uncles is known as 'Road Kill Willie' because sources say he likes to scoop up critters that have been hit by cars and cook them for dinner!
"Road Kill Willie has been busted for burglary, drug distribution and being a deadbeat dad, according to court records. He is the brother of Britney's father Jamie.
"... Britney's other uncle, June Spears, has been charged with assault with a deadly weapon, driving under the influence and beating his wife, say court records.
"Sources close to the family tell The ENQUIRER that Britney avoids her uncles whenever she goes home to Kentwood, La. (And she never dines with Road Kill Willie!)"
"... Willie spends most of the time living in tents and camper trailers or sleeping in cars.
"'Until recently, Willie was living in an 18-foot trailer on a riverbank outside of Kentwood,' said the insider. 'But Willie got hard up for cash and ended up selling his trailer for $60.
"These days he sleeps in his van or stays with friends. 'June lives about the same way as Willie, squatting anywhere he can.'
"Britney's dad sometimes gives Road Kill Willie, 46, and June, 41, work with his construction company, said a source. But the source said the pair fight so much, one of them usually has to go."
Read here if you want the 411 on the restraining orders, the DUI's, the spousal abuses and the public intoxication charges filed against the "possum eatin' kinfolk" who share Britney's DNA signature.
Out: According to Hello! Magazine, Brad buys Jennifer Aniston Liz Taylor's yacht:
"Brad Pitt has bought his wife Jennifer Aniston a piece of Hollywood history - the yacht once owned by Richard Burton and silver screen goddess Elizabeth Taylor.The 165ft Kalizma was originally purchased by Richard Burton in 1967, when he wanted to congratulate Liz on her Oscar for Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?. The couple named it after their three children together, Kate, Liza and Marie."
"... (Richard Burton) paid $148,000 when he bought the yacht, but it is reported to set Brad back by a staggering ($5,500.000). With enough room to sleep ten people and a crew of eight, it features an antique-furnished dining-room, four-poster beds and artworks by Picasso, Monet and Van Gogh."
Thus forever negating any future, "but there so down to earth" lines.
In: Quadruplets. According to Reuters:
"Pop star Michael Jackson, facing a trial on child molestation charges, is about to become a father to four more children -- quadruplets -- by way of a surrogate mother, Us Weekly magazine reported on Tuesday.
"Citing unnamed sources close to the self-proclaimed 'King of Pop,' the magazine said Jackson recently spent time with the pregnant mother-to-be in Florida, where he stayed in a $4,000-a-night luxury hotel suite in Miami Beach. "
Oh, dear.
Out: Sandy, you got some 'splainin to do. Stupid ass Sandy Berger, former National Security Advisor, may have "borrowed" classified documents relating the the 911 Commission; says Fox (link via Drudgie Poo):
"Sandy Berger is under scrutiny by the Justice Department following the disappearance of documents he was reviewing at the National Archives.
"Berger's home and office were searched earlier this year by FBI agents armed with warrants after the former Clinton adviser voluntarily returned some sensitive documents to the National Archives and admitted he also removed handwritten notes he had made while reviewing the sensitive documents.
"However, some drafts of a sensitive after-action report on the Clinton administration's handling of Al Qaeda terror threats during the December 1999 millennium celebration are still missing, officials and lawyers said. Officials said the missing documents also identified America's terror vulnerabilities at airports to seaports.
"Berger and his lawyer said Monday night he knowingly removed the handwritten notes by placing them in his jacket, pants and socks, and also inadvertently took copies of actual classified documents in a leather portfolio."
Democrats are actually supporting him
In: The Best of The Corsair
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