Sheridan shows Bolton an appropriate location for a kiss. (image via zimbio)
Nicollette Sheridan is a survivor. Like alligators, horseshoe crabs and other ancient, terribly creepy creatures, Nicollette Sheridan evolves to fit the times. It is an astonishing thing to watch, really; She's what we like to call a "bona fide." In the final arena, there will be no judges, only witnesses to her and Keith Richards' evolutionary capacities. We are not even going to kid about how hard-core Sheridan is (stone-cold Scorpio; Sagittarius cusp), just look back at her Hollywood trajectory. Her rise is a study in upward ascent through treachery, raw sex appeal and a triumph of the Will (Why, incidentally, are there no Nicollette Sheridan trannys?).
Though never particularly talented, Sheridan has navigated the waters of celebrity from the 1970s to the present with such aplomb that we cannot help but offer her a studied bow. While her contemporaries, like Scott Baio (whom she dated), are relegated to pop-nostalgia channels like VH1, Sheridan, against all expectations, is still network-ready.
From her superhero origins as a model (and now, as rumored, from the planet Krypton), to her torrid relationship with Leif Garrett in the gritty 1970s, to her nighttime soap operas and made-for-TV movies, Sheridan is larger than life, and certainly larger than any of the famous men she has bedded (Marcus Allen? James Woods? Harry Hamlin?). And she's still looking ("Nicollette has told the girls, 'Make sure there are no losers, wimps, married men or playboys'," a source told National Enquirer).
Horsefaced crooner Michael Bolton is one of her formerlys, reeling from the Scorpionio bite. From Page Six:
"IT'S getting messy between 'Desperate Housewives' star Nicollette Sheridan and her former fiance, pop crooner Michael Bolton.
"In May, the lovebirds bought a mansion in LA's exclusive Hidden Hills area from Melissa Etheridge and her wife Tammy Lynn Michaels for $4.4 million - down from the asking price of $4.9 million.
"Bolton, madly in love, left his East Coast home and moved in with his British-born sweetheart. On Aug. 24, he finally put his huge, 9,000 square foot Westport, Conn., home, known as Della Acqua, up for sale for a whopping $11 million.
"Sadly for Bolton, just two days later, Sheridan 'kicked him out,' our source said.
"And now, 'he's basically homeless - and stuck with two houses. He and Nicollette split the Hidden Hills house, but she wants to stay there and not have him anywhere near it. She also doesn't particularly want to pay him [for] his half and thinks he should just give [the house] to her.
"'Michael's kind of screwed,' our source continued. 'He pulled up his longtime roots in Connecticut to live with her, and now she booted him. He's got nowhere to go.'
"To make matters worse, Sheridan 'has a new boyfriend,' we're told. But her pals said, 'It is not David Spade - they are just friends. He's not her type.' Of course, we've heard that before."
Bolton knew the risks (The Corsair puffs a Schimmelpennick). If we were Michael Bolton (and, thank God we are not), we'd brush ourselves off, have a private smile and whisper -- sotto voce -- "That Nicollette." This is probably what Leif Garrett did when, after their unsuccessful intervention, she dumped him.
That Nicollette.
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