Monday, July 25, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

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(image via Defamer)

In: Katie Holmes, Niacin Flush?! Did some errant alchemy turn Katie Holmes' complexion all "pizzaface"? That's what happens when Muggles like Tom Cruise fuck with "potions." Magic is tricky! Of course, this is all irresponsible allegation and -- worse -- speculative diagnosis; that caveat having been aired, what's a blog for? According to The Lowdown:

"Did Tom Cruise insist on purifying Katie Holmes before anointing her his betrothed?

"Celebrity watchdogs are buzzing that the hideous red marks that erupted around Holmes' mouth shortly after the couple announced their romance in early May are the nasty side effects of a Church of Scientology 'detoxification' procedure involving the vitamin niacin.

"Science-fiction writer and Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard maintained that taking niacin in combination with exercise and sauna sessions helps purge the body of 'radiation,' Hubbard's shorthand for negative alien substances in the body."

RXMed, which bills itself as the comprehensive resource for physicians, drug and illness information, says, "The more common adverse effects of niacin therapy are dose related and generally seen with high doses used to treat hyperlipidemia. Severe generalized flushing (due to peripheral cutaneous vasodilation) that may be accompanied by burning, stinging or tingling sensations,

" ... Flushing usually subsides over several weeks, despite continuation of niacin therapy. Long term use of large doses of niacin has also been associated with rash ... Parenteral solutions of B complex vitamins containing niacinamide may cause flushing, itching or burning of the skin in patients susceptible to the effects of niacinamide."

Granted, diagnosis via internet image is thoroughly daffy. Anyway, we go in more for the "This-Arranged-Relationship-Gives-Me-The-Hives" school of thought (As opposed to the "Herpes-Simplex" line of thinking).

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(image via grahamwatson)

Out: Governor Lance Armstrong. Cheers to would-be future Texas Governor Lance Armstrong. We wish him luck, but he might want to lose the metrosexuality if he ever wants to run for office in southwestern red-state Texas. According to the 3AM Girls, his increasingly skeletal galpal Sheryl Crowe says:

"Lance hates body hair and (Sheryl), 43, admits: 'He's better at shaving his legs than I am. The pressure's on me to keep my legs smooth.'

"Meanwhile, Lance celebrated his victory yesterday with a party in Paris attended by Tom Hanks and Matt Damon, who plans to play the cyclist in a film."

Although we are not political image consultants, we suggest that Lance allow the stubble to return and ditch the Hollywood lefties.

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(image via uawlocal245)

In: The AFL-CIO Split. Ever since Senator John Kerry's ignominious defeat, bloggers have been looking for a grand metaphor to sum up the Democratic Party crack up. The split of the AFL-CIO serves that tragic (or not so tragic, depending on your POV) purpose. According to DailyKos:

"The irony is that this year's conference was supposed to be the 50th Anniversary celebration of the reconstituting of the AFL-CIO. UFCW and UNITE-HERE are also boycotting. Whether they split remains to be seen, as any new federation would be overshadowed (and dominated) by SEIU and its charismatic leader Andy Stern.

"While a lack of unity in the labor movement may seem to bode ill for its future, it's probably the best thing to have happened to it in a long time. The AFL-CIO was bleeding membership and clout and wasn't prepared to enact the sorts of reforms -- heck, any reforms -- designed to reverse the trend."

The days of Lane Kirkland's AFL-CIO which, along with the great Pope John Paul II, strengthened the hand of Polish Labor against the spread of that Expressionist political ideology, Communism, are over. Lane Kirkland was almost supernaturally linked to the eidetic concept of "organized labor" (Just as mysteriously, former Ambassador Daniel Patrick Moynihan shared some impossibly odd "linkage" with the eidetic concept of "international law") After Kirkland died in 1999 (and, after Moynihan died in 2003), it was only a matter of time before the influence of both concepts on this "vale of tears" began to wane. Do idealists become, at the moment of death, "at one with" their ideas?

But I digress. Perhaps this is for the best. RIP, AFL-CIO.



(image via film.com)

Out: Michael Bay, Flop. With that stylish mop of deliberately tussled Los Angelino coif, and -- can we fail to note -- that lopsided, trademark I'm-King-of-The-World Hollywood smirk, this was, by all accounts (okay, just mine) supposed to be Michael Bay's conquest weekend. Scarlett; Ewan; Bay; Clones. He was supposed to show us how alpha males spell: victory.

Alas, it was not to be (The Corsair shakes head and sips at a glass of The Black Wine of Cahors). As Defamer deftly perfectly sums up the situation, "In a word: wow. In another: bomb. When we projected that The Island would open to about $27 million, we had a feeling we might be in for a letdown. But this? Some might speculate that a poor promotional campaign was to blame, others might point to the absence of hitmaking producing buddy Jerry Bruckheimer. But we think it's karmic payback for Bay's recent bout of hubris in the LAT: 'You know, I�?ve never had a flop.'"

Well, Michael Bay -- for the record -- how does it feel?

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(image via wirednewyork)

In: Conde Nasty News. Despite the fact that The Corsair had a disastrousous job interview at Conde Nast right out of his The Nation internship (Using Christopher Hitchens as a reference didn't help, alas; someone should do a New York bloggers comedy reading featuring job interview nightmares at Conde Nast), we believe Conde Nasty gossip is a dish best served ... cold. Fashionweek sustains us; oh, yes it does:

"Vanessa Weiner von Bismarck is having her recent Hungarian-themed wedding in Germany featured in Vogue, to be written by Vicki Woods ... Christopher Mason is penning a profile on Louise MacBain for the November issue of Vanity Fair ..."

So much more from Fashionweekdaily here.

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Mrs. John Travolta, chin up, stiff upper lip and nose held aloft in air (image via virgin.net)

Out: Kelly Preston. While we, like Edmund Burke, abhor the ultraviolence of the French Revolution, we take exception with the Empress Marie-Antoinettish excesses of Mrs. John Travolta. Kelly Preston takes the time to brag boborygimous to something called Moviehole:
"Kelly Preston may co-star as a flying superhero in the new film 'Sky High,' but while talking up her comedic role in the Disney movie, she had no hesitation in defending Tom Cruise's recent anti-drug attacks. Preston denies that her recent speaking out, however, was anything new. 'Well, I've been speaking about the issue for the last seven years,' Preston was saying in a Los Angeles hotel room. 'I've been a child advocate for years on this and other issues and children's rights, so it's something very important to me. And the last couple of weeks, because there have been people speaking out, and because Tom [Cruise] has spoken out, the FDA has issued two or three different warnings, stating that these drugs, which have been prescribed for years, cause suicide, hallucinations, violence, and psychosis. I think it's an issue worth exploring a lot more, because the public has been misled.'

And, as for her "level-headed" and "normal" kids:

" '... we do so much as a family, that's so normal, with our kids, that they're pretty well adjusted and level headed. The premieres are, kind of exciting, especially to Ella, who loves limousines. One time, she asked: can I have my own limousine? So she and her little girlfriend went in our limo, and we took our car, to John's [Travolta] last premiere. It was hilarious.'"

... Hysterical (Averted Gaze)

"That normalcy continues when it comes to vacationing. While most families go through security at an airport, having a pilot for a dad also has it perks, Preston further concedes. 'Daddy flies a jet, and that's amazing, because you don't have to go through the airport experience all the time, but she likes it, it's funny. Last year, he flew us around the world and flies us to any place. We have the airport there, the runway, at the house in Florida, so he is a plane man. if he could, he flies five, six days a week.'"

Note to Kelly Preston: Shut the fuck up!

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Socialite Daru Kawalkowsky, Masked. (image via Nysocialdiary)

In: A Masked Ball. Gemini's -- "we" -- like language games, print and electronic media (or, really, any form of communication conducive to play), gossip, and, of course, masks of all kinds. So, without fail, Geminiacal "we" -- that we indeed are -- jumped on this story of masks and boldface names (Are you dizzy yet?). According to NYSocialDiarist Jeanne Lawrence:

"The San Francisco Ballet celebrated the opening of its 72nd season with 'A Masked Ball' theme that set the tone for an opulent Venetian-esque evening of romance and revelry. The dazzling gala also marked Artistic Director Helgi Tomasson�?s 20th anniversary leading the ballet company that is the third largest in the US and certainly one of the most innovative.

"... The A-list crowd included socialites, members of the old and new guard, the business world and Hollywood including: actors Sean Hayes, Hector Elizondo, and director Garry Marshall (The Princess Diaries), Kathy and Nick Hilton with starlet daughter Paris Hilton, gala chairwoman Alison Carlson, Mayor of Oakland Jerry Brown, S.F. Chronicle editor Phil Bronstein (Sharon Stone�?s ex) ..."

And so much more here.

1 comment:

fkcof said...

are you fucking retarded? b3 flush != pimples
....retard