Friday, July 22, 2005

On Michael Bay

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(image via film.org)

Let's face it, movie blockbusters just haven't been the same since that fluffy director with the oh-so-studied studied half-smirk on his face, Michael Bay foisted Pearl Harbor on an unsuspecting moviegoing public, thus forever fucking up the summer blockbuster mojo started, honorably, by Spielberg's Jaws in 1975.

Hoo boy, that film stunk.

Note to Michael Bay: Ben Affleck is a cinematic jinx (And, what's more, extremely "unprofessional")! Ben Affleck couldn't act his way out of a bad hair weave! Allegedly.

Michael Bay may have, with the release of Pear Harbor (Averted Gaze), surpassed that infamous Japanese launch in raw film bombage.

Still, his new summer movie, The Island, will most probably claim ownership the box office this weekend before word-of-mouth kills it like a dirty yellow dog. Ewan McGregor plus expert social climber Scarlett Johansson plus some big ole "Michael Bay Explosions" (tm) equals "summer fun," if you go in for that sort of thing (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Michael Bay tells Moviehole:

"'I just finished the film two days ago,' Bay says, apologetically. While some who work with him, actors and crew alike, refer to him as both energetic and tactless, even brash, Bay prefers to use the adjective 'blunt'?, but insists that perceived temperament is not taken so seriously by those who know him. 'Well a lot of times it's done for humour, and a lot of the crew that's worked with me understand that I'll tease people and give them a hard time, jokingly, you know, take the piss out of people.'

"But Bay also sees himself as a passionate director. 'You could say I'm kind of like a fireball on the set, which is how I get my creativity. I like to shoot fast and I care very much about actors, even though I'm brash,' he adds, laughingly. The director, known for his loud action flicks such as 'Bad Boys', 'The Rock' and 'Armageddon', opted for a change of pace with 'The Island', that manages to go almost 45 minutes without an explosion, and Bay reveledrevelled at his self-control. 'I was biting my tongue like God! I hope it works. I hope it works. Cause I didn't know if this place would be cool or just ridiculous."

What the fuck?! A Michael Bay film ... that goes 45 Minutes without an explosion?! Alert the media!

" ... In trying to maintain a 'realistic' view of a technological future without going to extremes, Bay did some additional research. 'I went to Microsoft, met with a think-tank and that was quite interesting.'"

There's nothing about Michael Bay that suggests to us either "Microsoft," or "think-tank," but, hey: we'll take their word for it that it happened. In some Bizarro universe. More here.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Krugman's take on the yuan story was quite different than the Bush admin.'s . I'm too diwitted to know how to interpret all that, but it certainly seems like it should be a bigger new story. Given that China has the ability to destroy are economy in about 5 minutes flat, we should be hearing more about what's going on here, no?

Ron said...

absolutely. Perhaps this is a Democrat issue? The Dem Party is utterly and completely flip-floppy on the War on Terror. We need to adress -- parallel to the war on terror -- Chinese opportunism and rapid hegemony in Asia (and, alas it seems: Africa and Latin America as well)