Thursday, July 28, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out


(image via BostonParents)

In: Atoosa Rubenstien?! Like Jane Pratt, Atoosa Rubenstein has a somewhat creepy relationship with her teenage readership. We're just saying ... That "relationship" is not so much parasitic as it is vaguely redolent of remora. But hey, even an Eternal Teenager's gotta eat, right?

Right. Now, Queen Vampire Pratt hands the Jane goblet teeming with pubescent platelets over to apprentice Atoosa -- so goes the rumor. According to the gang at Fashionweekdaily:

"... While you might�ve heard that ELLEgirl�s Brandon Holley is taking the job, well-informed magazine insiders say their money is on Atoosa�and so is ours. Stay tuned�

"... The deafening buzz around New York�s media hangouts this week is that Atoosa Rubenstein is about to take over Jane Pratt�s old post. The buzz further insists that the Seventeen editor will make a formal announcement this Friday.

Does the post include the requisite "auditioning" by Tom Cruise? The full story here.


Dylan Lauren and business partner Jeff Rubin. (image via dukemagazine)

Out: Dylan Lauren. And while we are on the subject of unnatural attachments to childhood (The Corsair sips a chilled glass of Han vodka), let's discourse on Dylan Lauren, who told Interview Magazine in the August 2005 issue:

"For one of my college essays, they asked us to compare ourselves to a food, animal, or place and I chose the Everlasting Godstopper (laughs), because I said it was well rounded, had many layers, was colorful, bright and fun."

And, we might add, sickeningly sweet.


In: NYSocialDiary's Best Dressed. Our favorite social chronicler, the most excellent David Patrick Columbia, is compiling a weekly list of the best-dressed members of the swishy set. According to NYSocialDiary:

"The most famous list which dominated the American imagination and the international culture for decades was started, as aficionados know, in 1940 by the late fashion publicist Eleanor Lambert. That was a time when there was a standard among men and women for many sensibilities. Now is a time when the standard has been skewed, bent, twisted, obliterated, dashed and/or ignored. The idea of being Best Dressed in a world where all standards have disappeared now relies entirely on two things: an eye for that which is pleasing to look at, and in some cases beautiful, and a sense of the ironic."

Best dressed for the week of July 25th include: Peggy Siegal, Andre Balazs, Morris and Jaci Reid, Carolyne Roehm, Prince and Princess d'Arenberg, Tinsley Mortimer and -- gasp -- Paris Hilton.


(image via CNN)

Out: The AFL-CIO Crack Up. Dickensian villain manque Robert Novak hovers over the bloated carcass of the AFL-CIO, vulture-like, swooping down at will to tear off a piece of juicy, supine flesh, and, of course, to deliver this caustic elegy:

"The scenario of the breakup was accurately laid out to me by Teamsters sources nearly a year ago. Sweeney would be offered a deal he could not accept. To keep the two big unions in the federation, Sweeney would have had to agree to a six-month tenure as president and a sharp reduction in the share of union dues to the AFL-CIO. The $10 million a year each saved by the Teamsters and the SEIU means money that has gone into Democratic coffers will be used for organizing.

"That's why Democratic strategists wring their hands, fearful that the financial drought caused by the events in Chicago will undermine the party in the 2006 midterm elections. But James P. Hoffa of the Teamsters and Andrew Stern of the SEIU have rejected organized labor's political illusion. They may not know how to cure what ails the nation's unions, but they cannot buy Sweeney's notion that salvation lies in electing Democratic politicians.

"When lifetime union bureaucrat Sweeney became president Oct. 25, 1995, it soon became clear he planned a massive effort for the Democrats and labor to regain control of the whole federal government that had been lost when Republicans won control of Congress.

"Sweeney's political illusion was that the conjunction of Democratic control of the Senate, House and presidency would somehow restore labor's health (though that alignment was not therapeutic when it existed during Bill Clinton's first two years as president). In any event, pouring labor money into Democratic coffers proved an absolute failure, climaxed by Republican victories in 2000, 2002 and 2004."

Teamster sources?! Jesus H. Christ, that sounds fucking evil! The scenario of a cackling Robert Novak, the ersatz Prince of Darkness decked out in his three-piece, meeting in a dark Chicago alleyways -- under El Grecoish lighting --- with "Teamster sources" has got to be a violation of some sort of RICO statute. That's big evil right there, yo; word up.

No comments: