Saturday, March 20, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Nakedness in general. Today on Ananova, we learn, via The Sun, superhottie Carmen Electra reveals that she plays drums naked with her husband, the bloated angel from another dimension Dave Navarro, "We jam together - he plays guitar and I drum and we even play naked."

Yesterday on Ananova, via Jane, it was revealed that Daryl Hannah also likes to be naked -- when jogging, "Basically, we're all apes, right? I like to be unfettered whenever possible - if it's a beautiful day.

"It's not like I throw off my clothes and start running out of control," she told Jane magazine.

Call me cynical ("cynical!"), but do these frisky revelations come a little too close to their projects, Starsky and Hutch and Till Death do us Part for Electra, and Kill Bill, Volume II for Hannah?

Whatever the case, Nudity: it's the new black.

Out: Lenny Kravitz. For his new and pretentiously titled album (whispers) "Baptism," Lenny steals Prince's look finally completing a process of leeching off the creative energies of his better that has been ongoing for about a decade.

There has always been a strange hero worship thing going on, unrequited, from Lenny to Prince, ever since Kravitz borrowed the royal falsetto on his first album 'Let Love Rule.'

The heavy influence, or, as Harold Bloom might pronounce it, the anxiety of influence that Prince exerts over Kravitz has finally broken the proverbial camel's back.

Somewhere Nicole Kidman is laughing at Kravitz's bad processed hair and cheesy sunglasses worn indoors.

In: Taking Potshots at Actors. Snark seeps it's way into the strangest places, like mainstream publications such as the ultranice People Magazine, of all places. In their Picks and Pans section they pan Taking Lives, the new Angelina Jolie flic. Note the snarky little slice at Ethan Hawke in the last line, tossed off, as it were, as if it was an aside penned by Uma Thurman:

"Jolie, whose lips are monumental enough to serve as a weopon in her own right, strides through as if she learned all she knows from Angie Dickinson on Police Woman. Hawke, even when trying to project good-guy appeal as an art dealer helping to ID a suspect, gives off a weasel scent."


Out: Malnourished Milan runway model tushes. Like Johnny Depp, I am partial to high water booty. Butt Lifter Jeans. A girl with an ass is so very in (excuse the pun on the bum). Finally, after years of Howard Stern feeding the self consciousness of women and their hind quarters, the BET sensibility is winning out, to the consternation of the Long Island contracters crowd. Men want a curvy ass, like Monica Bellucci's, which is enough to make a grown man cry. Buttock implant surgery is also big, thanks to JLo. Voluptuousness.

In: And speaking of an ample tushy, Athina Roussel, nee Athina Onaissis, and her polo boytoy Alvaro Alfonso de Miranda, or, "Doda," are very in. Also the dad of the richest little girl in the world, Thierry Roussel, had some good news on February 20:

"An Athens court yesterday cleared the father of Athina Onassis, Thierry Roussel, and the former Roussel family spokesman Alexis Mantheakis of perjury charges. The trial followed a suit lodged by Onassis Foundation President Stelios Papadimitriou, who had been accused of slandering Roussel. Papadimitrou told the court yesterday that he had never maintained that Roussel took drugs or acted lewdly in front of his daughter."

Out: Beating around the bush. Career challenged Amanda de Cadenet wanted her multimillionaire former boyfriend Keanu Reeves back, so she took the initiative, and (allegedly) concoted an offer he couldn't refuse.

According to W:

"KEANU REEVES is back with former fiancee AMANDA DE CADENET thanks to an 11-year-old cupid. The pair rekindled their romance after the Matrix star
was asked to attend a school play starring Amanda's daughter ATLANTA.
'If it weren't for Atlanta playing cupid Keanu and Amanda would have
remained friends, but have gone their separate ways,' confesses a source.
'She has helped them fall in love again.'"

In 1995 the huntress stalked her prey, holding an impromptu Keanu Film Festival with Courtney Love, one evening. One year later, they were going out. But then they broke up. And things hadn't been the same since.

And (wink, wink) out of the blue (wink, wink), the prococious eleven year old Atlanta calls Keanu and asks him to attend her school function (wink, wink), "why don't you go with my mommy." (wink, wink)

I saw The Parent Trap, and it makes a clever Disney movie, but I refuse to believe than any child other than those born in France are that socially sophisticated to engineer that kind of romantic mojo.

Well, we can't playa hate, Amanda did good for herself.

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