Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Is Roger Friedman Black? Well, now he is.

Usually when I read the Foxnews 411 columnist I get a slow and mounting feeling of dread. Why would that harmless, bespectacled Fox entertainment reporter inspire such emo in me? Well, Roger (shuffles feet uncomfortably)... Roger ... Raj is just so much more knowledgeable about African American culture than I am. He makes me feel like I should go study my black history. Roger Friedman, ladies and gentlemen, is blacker than me.

Imagine my anxiety when Roger riffed today about the history of black music. And he even got a little righteous:

"It was Chuck Barksdale of the Dells who put it best when he told the audience that his group was accepting for 'The O'Jays, the Whispers, and the Chi-Lites. They're not going to wait 50 years.' The Dells were the only act among the seven inductees who were not allowed to perform two numbers. Even Harrison got two, and he's dead."

The Chi-Lites? What the --? I should know that kind of stuff, but I don't. My bad. As I said, Roger Friedman can be goddamned encyclopedic in his knowledge of black culture when he wants to be. When he is not writing on the Nation of Islam or Jacko, here he is, contemplating African American music-- well, almost too well.

And so, in that manner, The Corsair proudly awards Roger Friedman the first Honorary Black Man Award, which confers advanced sexual prowess to the awardee. Who loves ya, baby?

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