Alan Keyes Versus Barack Obama?

According to The AP (link via Matt Drudge) the GOP is considering running Alan Keyes against Barack Obama:

"With the general election less than three months away, former presidential hopeful Alan Keyes says he needs a few days to decide whether he wants to accept the Illinois GOP's offer to be its Senate candidate.

"Keyes, a Maryland resident, told Republican leaders who offered him the nomination Wednesday night that he would make his decision known Sunday. Under the law, Keyes would have to live in Illinois only by Election Day.
Asked how he felt about making a Senate run from a state he had never lived in, he responded: 'As a matter of principle, I don't think it's a good idea.'

"'It has to be something where I would be convinced it's not only consonant with federalism as I understand it but that it's in the best interest of the state and of the nation,' Keyes said.

"If he enters the race, Keyes will be stepping into the national spotlight with another Harvard-educated, polished debater � Democratic rising star Barack Obama � and setting up the first Senate election with two black candidates representing the major parties."

The debate between Keyes, a Straussian who studied under Allan Bloom, and Barack, a professor at the University of Chicago Law School would be magnificent.

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Borat. Ali G's hapless Kazakstanian television reporter revealed just last week what we all know that Arizona redneck's in dive bars think about Jewish people. Irony is like kryptonite to a hick.

Out: Brittany Murphy, Singer. We still say that this actress with those big crazy eyes is going to end up in the mugshot section of Smokinggun.com. Soon. Actually, she's trying to get an album released a la Minnie Driver, as she tells that significant cultural artifact, The Star:

"Star: You sing in the movie. Do you want to do an album?

"Brittany Murphy: Yes. I've already started. It's sort of a hybrid of hip-hop and jazz. I want it to be something timeless that my grandchildren can listen to."

Hip hop and Jazz and Brittney Murphy: Priceless.

In: In Joyce Wadler's Boldface column:

"BENJI, on tour for her soon-to-be-released movie 'Benji: Off the Leash,' has suffered complications after surgery at the Eye Care for Animals clinic in Wheeling, Ill.

Benji's spokeswoman, MELANIE FRENKEL, said the dog had had 'a severe allergic reaction to medication,' and suffered a blood clot behind the retina. 'B: O.T.L.'' is to be Benji's big comeback after a hiatus of 17 years."

Now, is this the same Benji who did those movies when I was a kid in the 70s(citizenslunchbox describes him thus, "Super-intelligent mutt; possibly a terrier mix:)? If so, this dog -- in dog years -- must be pretty old. And, follow up question, whatever happened to that Benji knock off "Here's Boomer."

Out: Gana La Verde, the new Spanish Tv Game show that plays on some crazy bad stereotypes. The AP describes it:

"A Spanish-language reality TV show is offering contestants an unusual prize: the services of immigration lawyers to guide them toward a green card for U.S. residency.

"'Gana la Verde' 'Win the Green' began airing daily last month on KRCA-TV Channel 62 in Los Angeles. Owner Liberman Broadcasting also airs the program on its San Diego, Houston and Dallas stations.

"'People say that our show is like Fear Factor, but it's different because the climax of the show involves working," production manager Adrian Vallarino told the Los Angeles Times."

Jesus, how many more bad Latino stereotypes can be thrown in to complete the overall effect? The Corsair wonders if Adrian Vallarino will have the bad taste to serve Arroz con Pollo and cerveza to the contestants in a Taco Bell Chihuahua uniform while doing Charo's "coochie coochie" dance. And what not.

Angelina and Colin, like Mother and Son

From Premiere, September 2004:

"The Olympians role was pivotal, and Stone, who knew (Angelina) Jolie well from helping develop Beyond Borders, turned to her. The decision came down to a Manhattan meet-up with (Colin Farrell). 'At dinner the first night, it was funny,' (Oliver) Stone recalls. 'He was all over her, he was like the Irish boy -- he wasn't Alexander, he was just falling in love with her, couldn't help himself. I was thinking 'It was the right choice, because he's behaving like a baby.' And she was laughing at him, it was very funny -- she was -- older. I don't know if actors sometimes act out their desires and he wanted to be the infant to her mother ... it works.'"

An Interview With Ron Mwangaguhunga

I get "What's your story" emails all the time so:

The Controversial Ron Mwangaguhunga Interview. No-no-notorious. (I got so much hate mail the first time I published this, calling me everything from "arrogant," "snobbish," and "stuck up the asses of New York hipster bloggers." It stung, true believer, but you have to be able to take it if you can dish it out, I say. Since I am such the snarky sadist, let's see what happens now, 6 months afterwards, with some of my notes added)

Clinton Helps Letterman Trump Leno

According to Drudge's numbers (The Corsair covers his ears), "LETTERMAN TOPS LENO WITH HELP OF CLINTON: RARE WIN FOR LETTERMAN 5.2 RATING/12 SHARE FOR CBS TO NBC 4.7/11... LETTERMAN/CLINTON HIT 16 MAX SHARE PHILLY; 22 MAX SHARE SAN FRAN; 23 MAX MINNEAPOLIS ..."

(The Corsair uncovers his ears) Ahhh, better ...

Which is a good turn for New York, as the LA-based Jay Leno regularly trounces NY Dave. Like, all the time.

But, for a night at least, Dave had juice. The Daily News reported:

"Outside, about 200 fans waited at the W. 53rd St. entrance to the Ed Sullivan Theater hoping for a Clinton autograph.

"And they weren't disappointed.

"After the show, Clinton signed baseballs, random bits of paper, hats and even a guitar for fans."

But not before autographing a copy of his 957 page doorstopper of a book to David Letterman's 9-month old son, Harry. Awwww.

The Corsair likes the Clinton on Letterman idea much better than doing Saturday Night Live, which is sure to take some glory off the old legacy.

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Jason Binn's Vida Loca. Hamptons, Upside, Ocen Drive he's livin la vida loca. The Corsair kind of likes Jason Binn, in a Platonic manner. All that media ambition, all those glossies celebrating the ambitious young urban crowd in the Blue States, the starfucking, the Beth Ostrowsky cover to get in the good graces of Howard Stern, the parties. He's sneaky!

Imagine our surprise, when Gawker.com's special Hampton's Correspondent caught The Jason in his crosshairs, like some big game hunter, as he was grazing:

"Jason Binn was out in full force, looking like a serious frump machine with his Guy Trebay-style button down shirt sloppily half-untucked. It was a weird sight, watching him gently place one hand on David Lee Roth?s shoulder (see also: NY Social Diary party pictures of August 3rd) and stare off vacantly into space as Roth mumbled sweet nothings to some young blondes.
During the dinner, I noticed a man had left the tent and was peeing in the woods. ?Jason!?? I called out. There was no response. It may have been the three mojitos talking, but I really, really, really think it was him."

Out: The LA.com Blog speculates that behind Patti Davis' tryout with ABC lie dark network ulterior motives:

"LA's own Patti Davis has had quite a life. Daughter of a president. Out and out rebel. Pictorial for Playboy. Wife of a yoga instructor. Best-seller author. And now newest correspondent for "PrimeTime Thursday"? Sources say ABC is giving Davis a tryout for a permanent gig with the show. Of course, there's also a lot of muttering among the staff there that ABC wants to score the first post-Ronnie TV interview with Nancy Reagan, and who better to help arrange it? But did NBC get there first? After all, Davis's brother, Ron Reagan Jr., has scored himself a great gig with MSNBC."

In: Jennifer and Richard Pryor. They met in the freewheeling 70s ("keep on truckin'!"), she was a petite model who had "dated" Warren Beatty (hasn't everyone in LA?) and he was the hottest comedian in the land, but with his demons. Because of those demons, Jennifer left Pryor. Now, years after the divorce, they are back together again. And now Richard, suffering from MS, is the one being taken care of by Jennifer. According to Star:

"Jennifer says that she set about turning his life around, firing all of the help and starting from scratch by bringing in a new team of doctors. She also streamlined his expenditures and created new sources of revenue in the form of specials (his most recent special, Richard Pryor: I Ain't Dead Yet, Motherf**er, ran last November on Comedy Central) and re-releases of comedy albums. And though Pryor was worth millions in his heyday, Jennifer says extravagant spending left him with a modest estate -- he has less than $1 million in cash left. 'We are not wealthy,' she says."

But, evidently, they are happy.

Out: Moby Drinks. According to Page Six:

"'We started bottling them because in a fit of naivete and hubris, we thought that Teany drinks were great and that people would love them,' he tells us. 'And we've learned through sweet and painful trial and error that the Teany Peach Berry Green Tea Cooler mixes far too well with vodka.' Moby will perform a rare deejay stint atop the roof of 60 Thompson tonight at a bash to promote the drinks. "

I love those tiny little tea leaves in tetley tea, but naivete and hubris are my favorite flavors, so I'm sticking. Am I the only one in this room who wants to punch Moby?

In: 50 Cent will make an appearance next season on The Simpson's.

According to MTV News (link via Uncle Grambo):
"In an episode titled 'Pranksta Rap,' Bart sneaks off to attend a rap concert, featuring 50, without his parents' permission. When Homer and Marge realize their son is missing, he fakes his own kidnapping to avoid punishment."

Folks, I couldn't make this up if I tried.

Comment here on on VH1's Best Week Ever Blog.

Out: Sharon Stone. According to the 3AM Girls:

"PURRING wildly to promote a movie which critics have universally panned, Sharon Stone couldn't have looked happier on the red carpet alongside Halle Berry at last night's premiere.
But behind the scenes of Catwoman it's a different story - the fur is flying between Sharon and her fellow co-stars.

"We can reveal that while Halle and cast members, including Benjamin Bratt and Lambert Wilson, are staying at the plush Dorchester Hotel, on London's Park Lane, Madame Stone has demanded to stay separately in a suite at the �1,800-a-night Claridges hotel instead.
Her decision has proved irritating to say the least, especially as the press junkets are being held at the Dorchester.

"Insiders tell us Sharon is being a true pro about her promotional duties but when she's not working she just wants her 'own space'. So, while the cast have been getting together and dining at swanky restaurants such as Nobu, the 46-year-old star has taken walks with her assistant around Knightsbridge."

The Corsair pauses for a second. He needs his "own space."

"We also hear that Sharon, who wore a 20s-style gown to the bash, has no plans to join the rest of the cast at the film's other European premieres. Which leaves them to promote the lame film, described as a 'purr-fectly ridiculous and boring cat-astrope'. One New York critic said: 'Even with Halle Berry cavorting like a third-rate dominatrix, it's as sexy as a hairball.'"

"A well-placed insider tells us: 'It's as if Sharon just wants to get the work over with so she can get back home as quickly as possible.'"

Can you blame her?

Madonna on the Rocks

Borderline ... looks like she's going to lose her mind, if he keeps on pushing her love ... over the borderline. Or something like that (The Corsair bows and graciously accepts applause) ... so kind, thank you, thank you ... thank you, so kind, so very kind.

According to that significant cultural artifact, The National Enquirer ("because Enquiring Minds want to know"), Madonna's marriage is on the borderline:

"Witnessing the obsessive devotion Madonna's fans have shown her on her tour -- while watching his own career wane -- has fueled Guy's insecurity and jealousy, the close source said."
The Corsair swiftly grabs a bag of unsalted popcorn, leaps, and, in a single bound, lands squarely on the chair in front of his computer screen.

"Guy's star has faded. His adaptation of the Italian film 'Swept Away' with Madonna as the star was a complete disaster."

The Corsair nods, sadly, rubbing his Kabbalah red string bracelet, whispering, "Swept Away was not a film, it was a cocktail commercial."

"He still has a huge ego but now when he looks in the mirror every day, he sees Mr. Madonna, rather than Guy Ritchie, filmmaker extraordinaire.

"There's no question he's completely devoted to their son Rocco and Madonna's daughter by Carlos Leon, Lourdes.

"But the simple fact is, Guy can't seem to stand that he'll always be behind Madonna in terms of success.

"'Guy is wounded and hurt so he's lashing out at Madonna, accusing her of infidelity. I think he's sabotaging their relationship.'

"As soon as Madonna kicked off her Re-Invention Tour in late May, 'Guy became agitated and in a bad mood,' said the insider.

"If he wasn't with her at all times, he was in cell phone contact."

Human, all too human. Doesn't this all sound familiar?

Brando was the king of the mooners

Marlon Brando was an large personality with, I'd imagine, comparatively ample butt cheeks, as Diane Keaton, woefully, reminds us. Rush and Molloy have an intersting story today about the mingling of hollywood and cafe society, a la Brando:

"In her memoir, 'It Seemed Important at the Time,' (Gloria) Vanderbilt writes about her four marriages and assorted flings.

"After her one-night stand with Marlon Brando, he took his time calling her. When he finally reached her as she was boarding a plane back to New York from L.A., he said: 'Thank you for the tender feelings.'"

No word, though, on whether the word feelings is here used as a noun or a verb (drum roll).

Anyhoo: In the September 2004 Premiere Magazine, Robert Duvall and Diane Keaton, among others, share la recherche du temps Brando:

"Robert Duvall: He liked the cameraderie (on set), the jokes. There was a lot of cutting up to keep things loose ... (In the scene in The Godfather where) he comes from the hospital , these two grips in hospital jackets have to carry him up the steep steps. He put these heavy metal things between the mattresses in the springs, and they practically had a heart attack going up the steps. He just laughed like a kid.

"Diane Keaton: Mooning was a big item. Brando was the king of the mooners."

Yeah, yeah, it is a slow gossip week with all the celebs in Sardinia. Here's some best of to keep you cool:

What I really want to do is Executive Produce

Reba MacIntyre Calls In Sick

Former New York Times Writer Neill Strauss: Porn Boy

I, Geraldo

Academy Awards

Diane Keaton, keeping it real.

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Crouching Stanley, Hidden Gangsta. Ta-Nehisi's explanation of Stanley Crouch's bitchslapping of milquetoast literary critic David Peck in the Village Voice is instructive as well as amusing:

"This was not a moment of hot-headed indiscretion. Crouch may use his perch at the Daily News to inveigh against gangsta rap with all deliberate fury and alarm ('Hip Hop's Thugs Hit New Low,' 'Hip Hop Gets The Bruising It Deserves,' or 'Morally, Allen Iverson's a Bad Guy'), but his habit of violent exchanges with writers and editors puts him a notch above Snoop on the ne'er-do-well scale. In most cases gangsta rap is just talk�Biggie and Tupac are the exceptions. But while Crouch has yet to peel caps, the gangsta ethos is realer for him than it is for your average gun-talker.

"'The thing is that Stanley will get gangsta on you,' says Nelson George, who worked with Crouch here at the Voice, in the 1980s. 'There is nothing more gangsta than just walking up and pimp-slapping someone. Not even punching them, just slapping them, almost as a sign of disrespect.'"

Just putting a touch of sting on the cheeks. Cupping the jawline. Brushing an errantr knave's ear with a limp backhand. A Palm extended to allow for maximum surface contact rushing, cleaving the air. Flesh-on-flesh percussion, a macabre symphony. It all sounds so cruel. Or so I'm told.

The receiver is brought low. His cheeks flush with that "homemade rouge." Most significantly" the speechless audience, who, breaking the silence, collectively utter the gutteral, "oooooohhh." Or so I'm told.

Truer words have never been spoken (The Corsair ruefully rubs his cheek, and stares with fish eyes at a picture of a smiling Stanley Crouch). And speaking of disrespect ...

Out: Now, I don't mean any disrespect by this. This is not meant to be personal. The "well-tailored suits and crisp shirts" are fine. But the Gotti hair is ... it doesn't quite ... it isn't ... uh, forget I ever mentioned it. Please.



In: David Chappelle is rich. He renewed his contract for a reported $50 million. He's rich, bitch! (My sister, the most excellent Elizabeth Mwangaguhunga, sent me that link). Comment here or on VH1's Best Blog Ever.

Out: The speculation over James Bond. According to ITV.com:

"Speculation over whether the Troy star has been officially offered the role has been hotting up over recent weeks, but that hasn't stopped bookmaker William Hill making him evens favourite to take on the super spy mantle.

"Brit actor Clive Owen has been relegated to second favourite to become the famous martini stirrer at 9/2, followed by Hugh Jackman at 11/2.

Hills then offer 6/1 Colin Farrell, 10/1 Orlando Bloom, 12/1 Jude Law, with Robbie Williams rank outsider at 100/1."

Maybe you have to be a Brit to understand this, or even contmplate betting on this, but -- who-the-fuck-cares?

In: Gawker Stalker sightings. We love the Gawker stalkers, Choires' minions, roaming the street, cell phone cams at the ready, and today is no different. The B-Listers are so much more amusing as stalker-prey than the A-Listers (this coming from a committed C-Lister himself, namely, me):

"... saw Little Stevie [Steve Van Zandt] in full gypsy scarf regalia on the roof bar of the Maritime Hotel at 12-1 on Saturday night. He was mellow, laughing with a larger guy (would he actually have security??) traversing the catwalk between the 'VIP' section (a total of 15 bored looking people were there...) toward the hopping main bar. No sign of any other E-Streeters or Sopranos people (except maybe the big guy with him), sadly. "

How about, in the case of Little Steveie, MIP, for Mildly Important Person.

Out: Paris Hilton. In the beginning Paris and her friends accused Nick Carter of her bruises. Then, for some reason, she wanted it to all just go away, after she fanned the flames. Now, she claims it was all -- teehee -- part of a photo shoot that took place days ago. Paris is out. So out. But not before Defamer gives us a tour of the odd things going on on her body.

In: The First Lady as Paragon of America's Soft Power. This is a notion I came up with a while ago, and Gina Belanfante's article on First Ladies sort of bears it out:

"Teresa Heinz Kerry has presented herself to Americans as a multilingual free spirit, a woman with a taste for a 70's-era Jacqueline Bisset coiffure and a habit of tossing a sweater over her shoulders, as if her political outings demanded no more of her than patio luncheons in Nantucket. Her gold tank watch rests loosely on her wrist; her favorable position on millennial-era cosmetic enhancements remains a matter of record. Were she to take up residence in the White House as first lady in a John Kerry administration, no one would expect her to fade into the chintz."

Out: Clinton Sex Rants from Stuffy Democrats. There is something a bit creepy at the ferocity in which stuffy Dems go after Clinton's sex life. Sure, he was a jerk, but why go after him like a rabid pit bull in an intellectual journal years after the fact? What? Hillary can forgive him but the NYRB can't?

It almost -- almost -- gives off a faint scent of resentment ("How come that bastard got away with cheating and I've been trapped for decades ..") , or, at the very least least, a profound stuffiness that is alien to educated and socially sophisticated liberals that read the NYRB. Gary Wills in the August 12, 2004 New York Review of Books huffs like a schoolmarm:

"Clinton, like his mother, is a gambler. he does not, as she did, play the ponies. He dares the lightening. He knew he had numerous hunters and trackers circling about. He knew that he already had to cope with Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones and Kathleen Willey. The young woman he was adding to the list was not likely to be discreet-- she boasted of earning her presidential knee pads, and wrangled thirty-seven entrances to The White House, and snapped her thong, and preserved the candied semen. (DNA technology is still a comparatively young discipline, but it is not likely for some time to get a stranger excercise than testing testing the effluvia of presidential fellation.)"

The exceptional vocabulary aside, the eminent New York Review of Books, home of some of the most sophisticated minds of the last half century, really came off just now sounding like the exact opposite of its subscriber base.

Best of Corsair



What can I say? It's deep summer -- deep deep summer-- and everyone's on vacation, it appears, except me. To top it all off, it's a slow news day.

So here are some oldies, but goodies, on the vanity of celebrity. My own little bonfire of the vanities:

Mike Tyson and Naomi Cambell

Arianna Huffington: Golddigger?

Jailhouse Pen Pals

The Charlie Rose Drinking Game

The Zenith of the 80s

Jackie, Oh!

An Open Letter to Rapper-Actors

And, I mean, like: who knows? Maybe the head writer at The Daily Show will be smitten with the writing and say -- "bring this kid on board. He's got the good stuff."

Dare to dream.

Serena Williams: Jehovah's Witness

From Aspire Magazine June/July 2004:

"Serena was brought up, and still actively pravtices as a Jehovah's Witness. She is even known to go door to door every so often.

"'It is something that all Witnesses participate in,' she explains. However, the sight of Serena turning up at the front door is understandably a shock for most people.

"'I haven't dont it for a while because I travel so much.But when I do, people usually take the literature because they know who I am -- which is a good thing. There is a big misconception about Witnesses, so hopefully I'm doing my bit to change that.'"

The Source in the Hour of the Wolf

According to Jeff Bercovici at WWD (2nd Item):

"The news at The Source continues to be the pits. A circulation audit released Monday shows the formerly hot hip-hop title missed its rate base for the 12 months ending June 30, 2003. The Source�s average circulation of 485,817 was 0.3 percent below its average rate base for the period of 487,500. After making rate base for four of six issues in the latter half of 2002, The Source raised its circulation guarantee, to 500,000 from 475,000, causing it to miss rate base for five of the next six issues."

Raising magazine circulation guarantee in the sluggish 2002 economy? bad move.

"The magazine, which sells more than two-thirds of its copies on newsstands, overstated single-copy sales for 11 of 12 issues by an average of 4.1 percent. The Source overreported its total circulation by 1.8 percent � just shy of the 2 percent mark that triggers automatic inclusion in the Audit Bureau of Circulation�s variance report. According to the magazine�s most recent publisher�s statement, The Source did make its rate base for second-half 2003 � by a scant 253 copies, a margin of 0.05 percent. But the statement itself was filed late to ABC, often a sign of trouble. Several calls to the magazine � which reportedly faces lawsuits from a slew of creditors over nonpayment � were not returned."

The Royal Surfer

According to Hello!Magazine:

"The Royal Family welcomed its first Maori on Saturday when Lady Davina Windsor walked down the aisle with Gary Lewis. The 26-year-old royal married the former sheep-shearer after a four-year romance.

"Davina, the daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Gloucester, met her Kiwi beau in Indonesia in 2000. The pair decided on an understated wedding at Kensington Palace, attended only by close family and friends. 'They just wanted a really low-key intimate affair,' said a royal aide.

"Gary, a keen surfer, is described as a 'renovator' by the papers in his home country. The 33-year-old originally hails from Gisborne on the east coast of New Zealand's North Island. His father was a champion sheep-shearer in the Eighties, while his mother worked as maid. The handsome builder also has an 11-year-old son from a previous relationship.

Yup, it's a slooooow day; but check out this interesting story here.

The Assault Weapons Ban: Radioactive to Kerry?

Patrick O'Connor of TheHill does an admirable job in untangling the web of issues surrounding the Assault Weapons Ban, which expires September 13th, and is bound to be a campaign issue in Karl Rove's crosshairs:

"Gun-control advocates say that Sen. John Kerry�s presidential campaign is divided about how vocal the senator should be in calling for the assault-weapons ban to be renewed. Kerry�s reluctance to mention the controversial issue on the campaign trail has agitated proponents of the ban.

"Sen. John Kerry�s campaign is running television commercials showing him hunting.

"Kerry supports the ban, and, earlier this year, he changed his campaign schedule to vote for it to be extended. But some gun-control advocates say he has not done enough.

"Asked if Kerry will highlight the issue in his campaign, Blaine Rummel, a spokesman for the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence said, 'There is some shiftiness.'

Not a good sign, surely ("... and don't call me, Shirley") as this feeds into the Republican characterization of Kerry as a flip-flopper. Further, Senators have glass jaws in the Presidential gladitorial fundament -- they are "legislative compromisers," and, the longer they linger in those aristocratic Senate corridors, the longer the record.

Karl Rove knew what he was doing when he affixed the sobriquet "flip flopper." This politically lethal nickname is twofold poison: it erodes Kerry's support on the Left, by portraying him as not a stand-up guy, thus strengthening, however slightly, Nader; and, on the other hand, it weakens his efforts to gain a stronghold among moderates, who, by and large, favor mavericks like John McCain (who is the sole Senate exception as a "Senate lingerer" who is a straight talker) O'Connor continues:

"The 'issues' section of Kerry�s campaign website lists 15 topics, ranging from healthcare to homeland security to rural America. Gun matters are not listed."

"The (assault weapons) ban has been debated heavily since it was enacted in 1994 by Congress at the request of then-President Bill Clinton. In 1996, the House voted to repeal the ban, and the current House GOP leadership will not move to renew the ban without consent from the White House. Bush supports extending the ban but has not urged Congress to act."

O'Connor notes that as Dems tiptoe around this radioactive issue in an election year, Clinton toom it on front and center on Monday's Democratic Convention speech in prime time. Ever protective of his legacy, Clinton said, "As gang violence is rising and we look for terrorists in our midst, Congress and the president are also about to allow the 10-year-old ban on assault weapons to expire."

O'Connor then notes:

"In his new book, My Life, Clinton wrote that the 1994 vote to ban assault weapons came at a high political price, costing many House Democrats their seats in Congress. Gun-control advocates, who have consistently argued for years that gun control is a winning political issue, were somewhat exasperated by Clinton�s claims. The NRA has seized on Clinton�s words, highlighting them in recent newspaper ads. Clinton�s line of thinking has scared a number of congressional Democrats from the gun-control debate, Hummel said.

"The 2004 Democratic primary on guns is distinctly different from the 2000 battle between former Vice President Al Gore and former Sen. Bill Bradley (N.J.), Cox said, when both candidates made gun violence a major campaign issue. This election cycle, Kerry and former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean have attempted to reach out to voters who strongly support the Second Amendment."

While the Jim Brady campaign claims to have the votes in the Senate to extend the ban, and, "Sixty-four percent of gun-owning households and half of the NRA members polled were in favor of extending the ban, according to a recent poll conducted by the Annenberg Election Survey," it could be a potent election issue if done up right by the spinmeisters in rural swing states. This could be an especially effective strategy in the last days, where Kerry might be unable to respond to such an attack in time to make a difference.

Anyway, check out Patrick O'Connor of TheHill's thoughtful piece.

A Little of The Old In and Out

In: Sardinia, it's the new East Sussex, but not quite Croatia, at least not yet. According to Hello! Magazine:

"Oscar winner Denzel Washington took a break from promoting his latest film The Manchurian Candidate to relax in style at one of this summer's hottest celebrity locations the island of Sardinia.

"The Hollywood actor was joined by a familiar face during his boat cruise around Porto Cervo - Formula One boss Flavio Briatore. Famed for hosting his supermodel girlfriends, including Naomi Campbell and Heidi Klum, on his yacht during previous Sardinia holidays, playboy Flavio owns the nearby Billionaire Club, an exclusive hideaway open only to the cr�me de la cr�me of the jet set.

"And there is no shortage of VIPs flocking to Sardinia, as demonstrated by the roster of big names who've visited the Mediterranean paradise just this year. Footballer David Beckham and the England squad held their Euro 2004 training on the Mediterranean island, while rap mogul P Diddy sailed in for his vacation on a �15-million yacht. The elite hotspot has also seen its share of romance, with Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster spotted on a romantic holiday, and Christian Slater seen smoothing out his rocky relationship with wife Ryan Haddon with some passionate kisses."

This month, Tony Blair and his wife stayed in Sardinia with uber-sleazy media magnate cum Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi, according to the Telegraph (eeewww):

"After leaving Tuscany, the Blairs are due to travel to Sardinia for a two-day stay with Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian prime minister. From there they are expected to fly to Athens for the Olympic Games."

I hope the Blair had their shots if they used any of Berlusconi's silverware. Tara Reid may be flashing her newly purchased breasts in Sardinia, which is nice. What more could you ask for?

But, where to stay, true believer? The New York Post suggests:

"A ... private spot is Cala di Volpe's sister site, the exclusive, whitewashed Hotel Pitrizza, where Harrison Ford stayed recently. Practically embedded in the jagged coast, it has a granite pool that seems to blend into the sea (from approximately $1,200; starwood.com).

"Also, check out Peter Gabriel's Li Capanni, the 20-room hotel where he got married. He opens its cottages and gardens to anyone who can afford the approximately $43,000 weekly hire charge (licapanni.com)."

Finally, PM's Unik recently told Page Six, "(he's) joining Lionel Richie in Sardinia. He'll wind up in Croatia, which he calls 'the next St.-Tropez gorgeous, cheap and still undiscovered.'"

Out: Bill Clinton on Saturday Night Live? (link via Gawker) According to the AP:

"Former President Bill Clinton could be a host of 'Saturday Night Live' this season. At least, that's what the folks at NBC are hoping.

"TV Guide Online quotes anonymous sources saying that Clinton has been offered the gig if he wants it.

"A decision is expected this week."

This might not be the best way to preserve a dignified Presidential legacy. Not a good sign, if this is true, that Clinton still hasn't decided. The Corsair is not a prude in any way shape or form, and he would love to see a short Clinton SNL skit, but a President shouldn't do any extended comedy riffs beyond the White House Correspondent's Dinner -- the acceptable forum for that. Clinton is not Al Sharpton, he shouldn't be carrying the show, he should be on DL diplomatic missions to the Middle East or Central Asia.

I'm just saying, I'm kind of conservative about what a President should ideally represent. And an ex-President shouldn't be doing Nat X or "Mongo" sketches, or Chyna Doll bits.

In: Vanity Fair's Page Six Story. According to FashionWeekDaily, Vanity Fair is doing a piece on the merry band of Sixers, past and present:

"Here's an update on Frank DiGiacomos first assignment for Vanity Fair. His all-encompassing look at the Manhattan gossip world has now apparently morphed into an 'oral history' of the New York Posts Page Six. DiGiacomo, who once worked at the column himself, has been interviewing employees past and present, including, of course, the now-infamous Ian Spiegelman, who, were told, has just sold his next book, partly on the strength of all the attention hes garnered since getting axed from the paper. DiGiacomo is also talking to competitors and those who have been burned by Page Six and still feel the pain. But don?t expect any scathing revelations about Richard Johnson -- he's too powerful a figure to mess with."

Out: Matt Damon's Anxiety Baldness. Okay, maybe the FlyOnTheWall crowd is stretching for news -- lord knows I've dont that before -- but I'm fascinated by how gossipmongers make medical diagnoses on the flimsiest of paparazzi photos:

"The other day, one of the trades ran the photo below of Matt Damon fighting off an attempted liplock by George Clooney at The Bourne Supremacy premiere. The two strange bald patches in Damon's hair struck me as odd. They're not at the crown, where male pattern baldness starts, but instead down on the side a bit. Now if you saw a guy on the street with little bald spots like this, you'd think he had a bad haircut. But I can't imagine Damon gets a $3 trim at the barber school.

"So I forwarded a scan of the picture to a MD buddy and asked him what was up with Matt's locks. 'Definitely looks like some anxiety baldness,' my medical friend said. 'You're right; it's not male-pattern baldness because his crown is still full with good hair coverage. There doesn't appear to be any injury or scarring involved, either.' So I ask my doctor pal if this could get worse. 'It's impossible to tell without knowing his medical history,' he said. 'It's more likely he'll lose little clumps like this. It's extremely rare that all your hair falls out with anxiety baldness.'"

The funny thing is that in the comments section, everybody starts throwing down their own medical diagnosis. Favorites include: alopecia, which only adds to my assessment of Tinseltown, aside from being the world's capitol of litigation, the place where innocence gets seduced to a Chili Peppers soundtrack, is also a town with the world's highest concentration of hypocondriacs with an encyclopedic knowledge of the medical dictionary.

Like, is it possible that they are watching Matt Damon's hair too closely? Just a thought.

In: RuPaul, while decompressing from exhausting rehearsals for Zombie Prom, is hooked on Brandy:

"i cant stop listening to BRANDY'S new album AFRODISIAC. on the train, on the plane, in the car...non-stop! the content of the album has taken on deeper meaning with the events that have unfolded in the past 2 weeks. BRANDYS baby daddy revealed that they were never married, countering BRANDYS claim that they had divorced. then, late last week, BRANDY emerged from shame with the announcement that she is engaged to a man worth 75 million and that she has the dope-ass rock to prove it...something like 50 carats...POW!"

Out: Robbers. Margaret Cho's funny take on Charisma, the Democrat Kids, and the robbers of her parents Korean bookstore:

"Cate Edwards and Chris Heinz are impressive kids to put out in front of the store. They beat me and my cousins hands down in counter charisma. If those two were put in charge of the cash register, we probably wouldn't have gotten robbed at gunpoint as many times as we did."

Katie Couric: Smooth Da Hustla.

According to Lloyd Grove, the elvin NBC Today Show host has more than just pep in her step, she's got soul in her roll:

"... the 'Today' show's barefoot Katie Couric snagged a live interview with the Democratic nominee and his running mate, and the well-shod Gibson got nobody - that he was right to be hopping mad.

"Immediately on arriving at Langone Park, on the banks of the Charles River, (ABC's Good Morning America host Charlie) Gibson noticed that 'GMA's' picturesque site was a good distance away from the rally.

"But 'Today' had claimed a location close to the bus that was to convey Kerry and Edwards on their first cross-country campaign trip.

"According to witnesses, Gibson indicated the 'Today' site, scowled - and barked at a 'GMA' producer: 'We should be here.'"

The Corsiar nibbles on a croissant, sipping coffee, reflecting on the irony of Charlie Gibson's statement, and its relevance to the white hott ratings war currently going on between GMA and Today. Of course Charlie wants to be there, getting the rich smooth Today Show ad revenue cheddar.

"Around 8 a.m. the 'Today' team moved to an even closer location around 30 feet from the candidates' bus - smack-dab in the middle of their escape route - and Couric doffed her fashionable black pumps for greater mobility."

The Corsair ducks, mouthing 'What the f-,' narrowly avoiding a Manolo Blahnik to the chops:

"'... Where are your shoes?' Edwards demanded.

"'I had to jump around to try to grab you guys,' Couric explained.

"Watching miserably, Gibson scorched his producers, 'This should have been us!' and then stormed off.

"The despondent 'GMA'-ers were spotted sulking beside their remote location.

"A few hours later, ABC News spokesman Jeffrey Schneider made no effort to spin (Grove).
'Gosh, that Katie - she's such a hustler,' he said, and I can only hope he meant that in the best sense."

don't hate the hustla, hate the ratings game ...

NYTimes' Paul Krugman Versus CBS News' Jim Murphy

The Executive Producer of CBS Evening News with Dan Rather, Jim Murphy, is getting a little punchy. And not punchy good, but punchy bad. Be very afraid. He's mad as hell and he's not gonna take it anymore.

And it's not the first time with Murphy. Not hardly.

One would think that having reached the rarified air of network news, one might be above the fray, beyond getting into a spot of the old rough and tumble with the Op Ed Page of the Old Gray Lady. Upon achieving the sanctified grace of Network News, one might be inured to media violence, and thus immune to the slings and arrows of outrageous editorials. Uh-uh, you'd be wrong on that count, baby pop.

First, Murphy went punchy after Howie Kurtz, with wide haymakers and low, inside body shots, saying, slyly:

"The endless debate over how American politics are covered by domestic media gets another treatment in today's Howard Kurtz column in the Washington Post. And in the sidebar debate over television versus print as a source for comprehensive treatment, Howie comes down firmly on the side of print without ever saying so. But it's obvious in the subtext of Kurtz's report that he reached two conclusions from a selective viewing of the CBS Evening News reports about this year's issues called 'What Does It Mean To You?'"

Now, Murphy, 1-0, undefeated in the Chattering Class Smackdown (held daily in Romenesko Letters), sharpens his axe to grind, target: Paul Krugman; let the beatings begin, true believers. On July 30th Murphy wrote to Romenesko's Letters:

"The entire staff of the 'CBS Evening News with Dan Rather' was pretty miffed after reading Paul Krugman's (July 30th "Triumph of the Trivial" column) that claimed not a SINGLE issues piece has aired on the big newscasts in the past two months."

Translation: At the Tiffany Network that day, we burned your column in effigy; much oxen was sacrificed to the Elder Gods over the flames, and much sweet meats and honey ale was consumed. Me alpha-man, hear me roar!

"(Krugman) must have missed the SIXTEEN different 'issues' pieces we did over a four week period during that time, part of a series that will continue until the election. With the resources of the New York Times you would think that would be kind of difficult to miss."

Translation: My boldface is bigger than yours. And, what's worse, you don't know how to use your, uhm, resources.

"The Washington Post's media critic found the series so intriguing amid all the debate over campaign coverage he actually wrote an article about it. How can anyone take an editorialist's arguments seriously when he ignores some FACTS completely?"

Translation: If Howie, my ex-nemesis is cool with it, then you must be blind.

On Poynter (2nd Item down), NY Timesman Paul Krugman responds in kind:

"In response to Jim Murphy's comment regarding my July 30 column on the absence of issue coverage in this election, and the 'miffed' staff at CBS Evening News ... Mr. Murphy apparently misread what I said."

Translation: Do you own a library card? Have you ever? Do you want me to help you with the big words?

"I did not say that there has been no issue reporting at all over the past two months; I said that issue coverage is very thin, and that there has in particular been no clear explanation of even the most basic elements of the Kerry health care plan.That statement is, alas, true."

Translation: The old Gray Lady may be a bit chubby in the backside, and CBS News may be, uhm, supermodel thin, but our readers like a little meat on the bone -- something to grab onto ... (The Corsair imitates expressive Italian hand gestures to illustrate his point, mouthing the words, 'abondanza, abondanza'')

"The CBS evening news report from June 29 was the best coverage of the competing health care plans I could find."

Translation: Why can't we be friends? I'm a respected columnist, an intellectual even, I don't need this kind of shit.

"But did it explain that the Kerry plan would cover most of those now uninsured? No."

Translation: I am not averse to issuing a bitchslap if the occasion warrants. Remember executive producer boy, an animal is most dangerous when it is cornered ...

"Did it explain that the plan would, according to the Kerry campaign, be financed by a tax-cut rollback? No. In fact, by giving time to Bush claims that 'the Kerry plan would break the bank', without mentioning Kerry's plan to pay for it with a tax-cut rollback, the CBS report conveyed the false impression that the plan is unfunded pie in the sky."

Translation: Some constructive, diplomatic criticism, my media brother, let's work through this.
"Bear in mind that this is not one among many issues: health care-cum-tax cut rollback is Kerry's signature domestic policy proposal. Yet a voter who gets his or her news from TV, even CBS with its 'issues' series, would have little or no idea of what Kerry is offering, or how it differs from Bush."

Translation: TV has it's uses, but print media is for the weighty analysis, that's how it was all divvied up in the beginning-- you get the big money, we get the prestige. Live with it.

Tune in next week, when Jim Murphy blasts any media critic (50-50 odds on an Eric Alterman, Jim Murphy Smackdown up next) who dares -- dares! -- criticize the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather.

Murphy dares you to smack the Eveready battery off his shoulder ... he dares you ...

Is This The End of Cafe Society?

Could this be the last hurrah for Cafe Society as we know it? Town and Country, arguably, jumped the shark, or, rather, jumped the well tended Newport, Rhode Island rose garden, when they decided to put John Travolta on their cover a while back, instead of, say, oh -- Hubert de Givenchy, or Philippe de Montebello (Averted Gaze).

Has celebrity finally trumped discretion and the well-written holiday note? Class will tell ... (Averted Gaze)

Now, The Page Sixers report, the fat lady has sung, or, at least, Bobby Short's doing Gershwin at Cafe Carlisle, as alpha-debutante Cornelia Guest is pitches forth towards Tinseltown, forgoing the obligatory mansion on Long Island out of site from the main road:

"CORNELIA Guest has packed up and moved back to Los Angeles. The daughter of The Post's late gardening columnist C.Z. Guest, Cornelia, who was once named 'Debutante of the Decade,' has decided to try her elegantly manicured hand at acting. So far Guest, who does not have an agent, is doing very well all on her own. The blue-blooded blonde has scored a small part in an NBC pilot, 'Revelations,' done three independent films and is in discussions to have a one-off role on the FX hit, 'Nip/Tuck.'"

Ah, the pendulum swings, and, with the passing of CZ Guest, the debutantes fade. Charmed, I'm sure (Averted gaze).

Christian Slater: ChickenPox Gate

Christian Slater, he who wore a Nixon mask on Thursday, has apparently come down with Chicken Pox!

Most curious, in an almost David Lynchian way, this turn of events. According to the BBC:

"Slater, 34, was taken ill on Friday while rehearsing One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in London.

"However, its producers remain hopeful he will recover in time to appear in the first performance on 6 August.

"The show had earlier lost its director when Guy Masterson quit the production, blaming stress and family illnesses.

"'Felix Dexter, a member of the cast, was struck down with chicken pox in the second week of rehearsal,' said producer Nica Burns on Saturday.

"Christian and company are in fantastic spirits."

"Nica Burns 'We had hoped that the rest of the cast had escaped it, but yesterday Christian was taken ill and it is confirmed today that he has it.' "

What the fuck?! Let's drink this *alleged* preposterousness in for a minute, shall we? And, while we're drinking (A distraught Corsair haphazardly sips an alluring aged champagne from his icy pimp goblet, to settle his nerves, you know), let's not make assumptions about this, but use logic, like William of Baskerville, played by Sean Connery in The Name of the Rose, which also starred, yes, the man in question, Christian Slater.

Our boy Christian was at Stringfellows strip club on Thursday night wearing a Nixon mask, that we know! He wouldn't take said mask off and, as a result, was asked to leave. The mask is out of character for Christian, as he usually just goes there 'as is.' Often.

Now, the argument can be made that Christian put the mask on for fear that the press would discover him leaving the club, and his wife might beat his ass up. Again. And, to be sure, the London press has been riding him hard on his visits to the ecdysiasts.

Solid argument, that, except, Slater was already inside the club. In private, where, ostensibly, no one has a camera, he didn't remove the mask, even when asked, he voluntarily left the club rather than demask. Bouncers are on the lookout for cameras at a strip club -- to protect the dancers and the married men, you know, fairly serious protocol ... or so they tell me. Ehr. Not that I am expert in this sort of arcana, just so you know.

Anyhoo, I'm not laying down any charges here, I don't want a lawsuit, couldn't handle the lawsuit, really, but isn't this an odd coincidence? And was a highly contagious Christian at risk of spreading contagion to the ecdysiasts? When did he know he had chicken pox, that is front and center, people, in chickenpoxgate.

For shame, if he knew and thought the grim, jowly image of Tricky Dick would provide ju-ju capable of conquering the contagion!

According to the Indiana University Health Center Online:

"Chicken pox is contagious through direct contact with the fluid in the blisters and by airborne droplets that are inhaled. Incubation period is 7-21 days. A person is contagious from 1-2 days before the rash appears and until all the lesions form crusts."

Do the strippers at Stringfellows even have health insurance?

And what of Slater's "English Rose"? Will she soon be developing rose-petal shaped lesions?

I'm just asking. Someone's got to, you know.

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: The Romantic Lives of Presidential (and Presidential Candidates') Children. Yes, yes, yes, we are curious about Jenna and Barbara and Chris and, of course, we have more than a passing fancy in the choices Those Fabulous Kerry Sisters make, who, according to Page Six, are too hot to handle, having moved on from The Affleck -- yesterday's news, over to bigger game, namely, John Cusack, the man who won't talk to The Post:

"Both of presidential nominee John Kerry's daughters, Alexandra, 30, and Vanessa, 27, seem to have the hots for John Cusack. After Alexandra was seen sharing cigarettes and some kisses with the actor on a bench outside 15 Beacon in Boston, a jealous Vanessa came out and tried to steal him away. A staffer at the restaurant told PAGE SIX that the blond Vanessa tried to sit between her sister and Cusack and was rebuffed, so she sat on the other side of Cusack and chatted with them for a few minutes. Meanwhile, the reason the party was so packed was that both sisters insisted that 35 guests not on the list be let in."

Why are these girls so free with their kisses and why arent I on the receiving end? Or http://www.whatevs.org. Why don't bloggers get respect?

According to Rush and Molloy, Vanessa, just a couple of days ago, was seen kissing up on The Affleck, not once, but twice (The Corsair crosses himself and fashions a scarlet letter), and, mirabile dictu, "he didn't resist."

Oh, John Cusack, resist ... resist!

My guess if that this is all an elaborate plot to sabotage the insurgent Cusack for President campaign with incriminating photos.

Out: Nic Cage Weds Sushi Waitress. MSNBC reports:

"Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage has married for the third time.

The 'Leaving Las Vegas' star wed 20-year-old Alice Kim on Friday at a private ceremony on a ranch in Northern California, publicist Annett Wolf told The Associated Press.

"It is the third wedding for Cage, 40, who split with his previous wife Lisa Marie Presley after less than four months in 2002 (Ed Note: Nic almost -- impetuously, like the Aquarius that he is -- remarried her). Before that, he was married for six years to actress Patricia Arquette.

"Kim, a former sushi waitress, met Cage when the actor visited the Los Angeles restaurant where she worked. This is her first marriage."

Hmmm. Three wives; not a solid track record. Odds are he will be Gone in 60 Days, back on the road. We hope he gets back to his edgier indie fare. And his comic book collection.

In: Kelly Ripa is becoming quite the household Hampton's name, of late. The perky milf is gaining mindshare in the tony Hamptons, according to Fashionweekdaily, people are talking:

"First off, and what is sure to be talked about for weeks, is the seventh-annual Super Saturday hosted by Donna Karan, Kelly Ripa, and In Style?s Charla Lawhon, taking place at Nova?s Ark Project in Water Mill. Expected fashion industry guests include Karan herself, Vogue?s Virginia Smith, Perry Ellis? Patrick Robinson, Coach?s Reed Krakoff, Lulu Guinness, Vera Wang, Aerin Lauder, and Stefani Greenfield."

Then there's that juicy New York Post item:

"The crowd at Russell Simmons' Rush Philanthropic Arts Foundation benefit began ignoring the main fund-raising portion of the evening on Saturday by either talking loudly or refusing to bid.

"'Everybody shut up a little bit and reach into your pockets deep. That's why we're here, to raise some money,' said live auctioneer Chevy Chase upon starting.

"But the chatter went on and the offers continued to flatline and Chase grew increasingly irate. Finally, a fed-up Simmons grabbed one of the microphones onstage, looked into the eyes of the well-heeled crowd and delivered a stinging message:

"'The basis of your life is what you give ? and life gives to the givers and takes from the takers,' he said. 'All of those who have success and can't share are not really rich.'

"Then, waddaya know, the next round of bidding for a 2.5-carat Hello Kitty diamond pendant ? designed by Russell's wife, Kimora Lee ? became fierce. The opening bid of $5,000 quickly zipped to $20,000 with the pendant finally secured by Mark Consuelos, the husband of host Kelly Ripa.

"'Oh, you are going to be rewarded tonight,' Ripa told her hubby."

The Corsair, quite frankly, wonders when Ripa has time to breathe, to digest food, or even to in between Reeg, the kids, the husband, Hope and Faith, the Jimmy Choos, and now, a budding career as a Hampton's socialite and party host. We like Ripa, who is as ambitious as she is overwhelmingly cute.

Out: Nick Carter, lunkhead, ex boy bander. Paris Hilton has launched a major -- if covert -- little PR war against Nick Carter, according to the Post's Paula Froelich:

"A bruised and battered Paris Hilton is telling pals ex-boyfriend Nick Carter hit her, leaving the ugly marks on her face and arms.

"In photos, Hilton has an obviously swollen lip and bruises up and down both arms.

"She has said the bruising came in Los Angeles Monday evening, after she and Carter joined pal Amanda Demme at the Argyle Hotel, where Demme throws a weekly party.

"'They were dirty dancing together,' said one Argyle spy. 'They were very lovey-dovey, staring into each other's eyes. We all thought they were back together.'

"But after Hilton and the ex-Backstreet Boy left the Argyle to party at another club, Joseph's, the mood turned sour.

"'Nick wanted to leave, Paris didn't,' said a Hilton pal, adding, 'Nick forced Paris to leave, he made her get in a cab with him.'

"Hilton alleges to friends Carter later lost his temper.

"Friends say Hilton is 'scared to death.'

"The pal added: 'He has major anger-management issues . . . We have seen bruises on her before and asked her about them. She has always denied it ? until now.'"

In: Chris Heinz, the red hot bachelor and man-about-town, the new JFK, Jr. According to Fashionweekdaily, he is slated to attend the Mercedes-Benz Polo Challenge, week 3, hosted by the Hilton family (Paris, Darling Nikki, Kathy and Rick Hilton are hosting, pooling their collective well-knowness in an act of strength; we wouldn't suggest you take the opportunity to corner Paris and ask if indeed it is true that Nick Carter physically assaulted her during their stormy on-again, off again relationship). Of all the Heinz clan, Chris is the most out there, and, of course, the ladies take notice.

Out: Mike Tyson. The AP sums it up nicely:

"A comeback born out of financial desperation didn't go past the fourth round Friday night when an unheralded British heavyweight by the name of Danny Williams knocked Tyson out with a savagery that may have once and for all exposed Tyson as a shot fighter."

Of course, Tyson, unlike Ali, likes to "party" while training. Anyhoo, it's time for Tyson to retire from boxing, and approach Viacom Executives about doing a BET Reality Series, called Like Mike, chronicling your life. And cut me in for a taste, as I came up with the idea.

If you are into blood sports, this is the best analysis of how Tyson could get back in the game.

In: African Americans generally don't stalk. If you haven't already, check out the link, as I've made some additions, and you know how funny a potential stalker situation can be.

Out: I like Roger Friedman, he's a great gossip columnist, but he made a glaring mistake the other day that Fox News hasn't corrected when giving his report backstage at the Democratic Convention in Boston:

"... One heart-stoppingly strange moment came when former Clinton secretary of state Janet Reno attempted to come down the stairs close to where the New York delegation was sitting, only to be met by the ascending Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs, who was wearing his 'Vote or Die' T-shirt, and seemed to be interviewing people for MTV.

"'He probably thought she was Will Ferrell in drag,' one onlooker quipped."

Reno was, of course, the Attorney General of the United States, Madeline Albright was at State.

In: Stereogum on John Water's new homage to Baltimore, "head injuries and sex-addicts in blue-collar Baltimore." I never thought Selma Blair could ever be so ... busty.

Entourages Are the New Black

The Lil Kim perjury trial involving her entourage was postponed this week until February, which was bad news for entourages in general, but there are several other mitigating factors that ought to be taken into account when rendering a final verdict on the social merits of that significant cultural artifact, the entourage.

The Corsair puts on his culturall anthropologist hat, then tips it to the side, at a 45 degree-angle, giving it a little "Fosse," a little Kevin Federline flavor, if you will.

Frankly, The Corsair believes that even the exquisitely witty Thorstein Veblen, the patron saint of snarky bloggers, would agree that it is indeed a good time in general to be a celebrity tag along. Why, the excess pussy runoff alone (okay, that does sound kind of gross) makes this a noteworthy career option that "merit un detour."

For one, HBO renewed Entourage for a second season, validating their existence.

Second, to be sure, entourages were all over the DNC convention in Boston, like ugly on Congressman Tom Delay. Diddy's alone filled 4 golf carts. The Affleck's peeps were on DefCon 3, separating the wheat from the chaff. Chris Heinz's were busy fending off young women determined to sperate him from his trust fund. But the most symbolic of symbols: Kerry's "Band of Brothers" -- Can anyone say "entourage"? -- was in full effect, ending the Convention, providing the most glorious of photo ops; yes, the entourage is no longer relegated to the music and movie industry: the entourage has infected our body politic.

P Diddy's entourage, it has been said, rivals Christ's. Although his people are far from saintly, truth be told, and they are probably not as loyal as that charismatic Jesus', just ask Joyce Wadler of the NY Times, who took an elbow to the chops from an unruly yes-man. But they tend to have a Spaniel-like fidelity to the one who pays the bills, and, as The Old Gray Lady says, where the star goes, so does their entourage, and, depending on the drawing power of the star, executives may have to rearrange plans:

"Ocean MacAdams, vice president for news for MTV ... was trying to secure Thursday floor passes for P. Diddy's entourage. Mr. MacAdams admitted that he had offered two concert tickets in exchange for floor passes but was turned down. "

Here's what I wrote about entourages way back in December:

"Entourages are the new black. There a must get, they suggest that people want to be around you, fodder over you, protect you, because you are rich and famous and, it logically follows, fabulously interesting. You don't have to say it's all about me when you have an entourage around you -- it is simply taken for granted.

"An entourage implies money -- how else would one be able to keep beefy bodyguards in the Cristal and swordfish and 'the sticky ickey'; how else could one clothe, bejewel and perfume a gaggle of models, pay the cellphone bills of a murder of publicists and 'guys from around the way'?

"The ultimate in entourage chic, as here demonstrated by (Charlize) Theron (2nd Item), is the fact that one's entourage grows, evolves, as the night progresses, into an unwieldy mass. You meet people and people want to meet you. People change, as 'social philosopher' Ritchie Rich once observed to me at a Pseudo.com show taping: so why can't one's entourage reflect the social evolution that a hipster makes during the course of one boozy evening? Apparently a member of Theron's entourage -- who just kind of got absorbed into her gang during the course of an evening, kicked Brazilian paparazzo Laura Giannoni in the leg at Viscaya Lounge in New York.

"Theron, that hipster, probably doesn't even know who was in the entourage that evening, the Page Sixers wrote:'Giannoni filed a police report at the 13th Precinct. 'They took pictures of my face, but I can't press charges against the guy because I don't know who he is . . . I am distressed, depressed and tired.'"

"Forget the me generation, true believers, where's the cachet in that? It's the entourage generation, baby, who loves you? (Points to The Corsair entourage) they do."

I couldn't agree more, six months later; except bloggers don't have entourages, we have cyberstalkers. But we're drinking milk.

Ben Affleck Watch

According to The Boston Globe, or, as they call it there there, "the Bahrston Globe," (okay, bot my best stuff, but that's what you get for expecting me to be funny on Friday, procrastinating, with work deadlines looming like Michael Jackson at a puppet show)

The Affleck, The Globe tells us, has special dietary needs:

"Chef Gabriel Frasca prepared a special dinner for Affleck: rosemary chicken with seasonal roasted vegetables prepared without oil, because Affleck is trying to be healthy, he told the staff."

And, no, Ben Affleck did not say to Frasca, "Now go get me some Cambodian Breast Milk." That simply did not happen, no matter what Matt Drudge says.

God bless The Globe, which, quite frankly, rocked with it's Convention and party coverage. They really deserve some Pulitzers thrown their way.

According to the AP (2nd story), The Affleck attended the damp Chili Peppers concert sponsored by The Creative Coalition and the Recording Industry Association of America, but " ... Ben Affleck made a heavily escorted escape after the concert was done."

And BoiFromTroy, filling in for Wonkette, who is doing th MTV Choose or Lose gig, posted this item on The Affleck, Leo and P Diddy. No doubt "world domination" was mentioned, as is wont to happen when two Scorpios (Diddy and Leo) and a Leo (Affleck), sit around hatching plans.

Finally, Reliable Sources notes, "(at )GQ magazine's impossibly crowded party for San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom ... Fire marshals repeatedly threatened to shut down the party, thrown in a restaurant that held only 240, while rained-upon mortals -- assured they were on the guest list -- waited grousing outside as the likes of Arianna Huffington were swept inside. Seems hoi polloi had to be patient until the boldfacers within (including political offspring Kristin and Karenna Gore, Cate Edwards and Andrew Cuomo) exited and made space. 'I'm terribly, horribly sorry,' a PR rep kept apologizing, 'but a lot of people in there want to talk to Ben Affleck.'"

Damned cheek! One doesn't simply call him Ben (Averted gaze). That's "The Affleck," to you, sirrah, or it will be drawn ancient pistols at noon!

And that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is The Week That Was Affleck.

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Elizabeth Jagger, according to British Vogue, which says:

"ELIZABETH JAGGER was spied this week popping into her local Waterstones to pick up a copy of the bright pink and, much to her apparent embarrassment, therefore difficult to disguise book The Intimate History Of The Orgasm. Lucky old Sean Lennon."

Looks like she inherited more than just the lips, no?

Out: Damon Dash. Can he hang? Doubtful (Averted gaze). According to the 3AM Girls, Dash can't score the digits, even with an entourage of man-mountains to give his cred. This is the saddest story that I have ever heard:

"Our spy in West End nightspot Aura reveals: 'Damon was in the VIP area with his huge entourage when he spotted a girl he really fancied.

"'He sent one of his flunkies over to approach her on his behalf. He duly obeyed and told the girl that Damon requested the pleasure of her company. She seemed to think it was quite amusing. She looked over at Damon and giggled before politely turning him down.'

"'(The lady's date had) been at the bar buying drinks but had seen what was going on. It's fair to say he was the possessive type,' our on-site mole discloses.

"He went over to one of Damon's man-mountains and started kicking off, saying: 'Don't you f***ing come near my girl.' Club security had to intervene to stop the situation escalating."

Like I said: Dash. Can't. Hang.

Mixed: Katie Couric. We can't yet tell if she's in or out these days because there were conflicting reports of the elvin Today Show host at the Convention. According to The Boston Globe, Katie got a little nook-nook:

"NBC morning gal Katie Couric and Red Sox chairman Tom Werner had lunch at Via Matta and were spied yesterday holding hands as they walked to the Public Garden."

Which is cute and all, but then, according to the excellent Rush and Molloy, the pendulum swung:

"Katie Couric has made extreme sacrifices for the sake of her craft, but this week at the convention marked a new low: Security officers confiscated the hairspray from her stylist's bag. Never fear - we're sure Couric's perkiness will prevail."

The verdict? Mixed.

In: Estates in New Jersey. New Jersey is the new black; no, wait, I already said entourages were, so, like, Estates in Jersey are the new, uhm, Mini Motorcycle, yeah, that's it. P Diddy just bought one. According to Newsday:

"Hip-hop star and entrepreneur Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs has purchased a 21-room Bergen County mansion for more than $10 million. Combs bought the 17,000-square-foot home in Alpine from financier Mark Arzoomanian. The brick colonial home is set on 3.5 acres with a gated, tree-lined driveway that winds to a circular courtyard.

"The home has three bedroom suites with sitting rooms, five additional bedrooms with private baths and a six-car garage. It also has an outdoor pool with a waterfall and separate spa; a movie theater; tennis, racquetball and basketball courts; a wine cellar, and a 700-gallon aquarium."

That's still less than half the size of the 35,000 square foot Saddle River, New Jersey mansion of Russell Simmons. Not that we're counting, or anything: I'm just sayin'.

New Jersey has a lot to be proud of: Bon Jovi, Whitney, Undrinkable Post Apocalyptic Water, Mike Tyson ... uhm, scratch Tyson, because .... he's ...

Out: Mike Tyson. After tearing through $40 million, he's back, he's broke, and here's what he has to say for himself:

"'I cannot dwell on the past. Most of my past was not euphoric,' said Tyson during a Wednesday press conference. 'The future seems so much brighter than the past. The layoff between fights has not been fun. I have been miserable with myself. My professional life is going great now, though my personal life stinks (laughing). I do not have anyone. I am alone.'

The Corsair plays "All by Myself" by Eric Carr on a boombox, and holds it aloft like Lloyd Dobler in "Say Anything."

"'I am very appreciative of the response and reception I have received from Louisville. It is a little embarrassing and humbling,' added Tyson, who claims to be in financial trouble. 'I have trained hard. I did not train for a short fight. I am ready.'"

In: Alessandra Ambrosio. According to Fashionweekdaily: "Members of the press and passersby alike were in no need of caffeine yesterday morning, thanks to a jolt provided by the scantily-clad Victoria�s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio. Donning little more than a white miniskirt and fitted tank top with the word 'Pink' written across the front, the model strutted from a white H2 Hummer in sky-high pink stilettos to introduce the company�s new collection of lingerie and sleepwear."

Out: The Gina Lee Swollen Tape, according to Lindsayism, "Just a tip - when the guy says 'I'm gonna make MILLIONS' it's probably time to destroy the tape."

Or the girl, Lindsay; somewhere out there, most probably in Southeast Asia, making the rounds, is an incriminating, athletic Corsair smut tape made while he attended a private liberal arts college in Vermont.

They're just waiting for me to become famous so they can release it, to bring a brother down.