Artie Lange Quits Stern Show



Above: One of Lange's previous "resignations"

It began with an on-air argument between self-destructive funnyman Artie Lange and his ungrateful assistant Teddy. Chalk it up to stress. Artie, a recovering heroin addict, was upset at Teddy's work ethic on the cusp of his appearance in Iraq, to entertain the troops. Stern, perhaps sensing that the conflict would make for great radio, kept prodding at the argument, tweaking, until Artie, at the end of his rope, blew out of control. Artie, noticing that Howard was aggravating the situation, turned on the self-proclaimed King of All Media.

Lange -- aka The Baby Gorilla -- a comedian who has been known to draw $70,000 an appearance (thanks to his role on the Stern Show) quit abruptly. Not the best career move, methinks. From Marksfriggin:

"Artie said that he thinks that Howard prodded it out of him and that's what he got out of him. Howard asked why he would hire a guy who he thinks was ripping him off. Artie said that he's afraid to fire him because he'd have nothing if he did that. Howard said that this was worse than just letting him go.

"Artie blamed Howard for bringing this to where it went. He said that he kept pushing him and pushing him and that's what happened. Howard said he didn't know that Artie was going to go crazy and explode. Artie asked why he would bring him back to that type of situation like he and Sal had. Howard said that he really had no idea he was going to attack another human being. Howard said that wasn't fair to Teddy and he can blame him for it if he wants but he's not to blame.

"Howard said that he can't have Artie around there if he's not in control. Howard said that he didn't want that from him and he really didn't know he was going to be out of control. Artie said that he can't do his job and he can't guarantee him that he won't do that again. Artie said that he's an out of control person and he can't do that anymore. He said he loves Howard but he has to resign. He said that he can't guarantee that he won't do that again.

"Howard accepted Artie's resignation but he continued to talk to him about what had just gone down. Artie said that he would never bother Howard with this nonsense with Teddy. He said that he wouldn't even bring it up on the air. He said that he'll probably get sued now over that. Artie said that he's not a good person and he really has to leave. He told Howard he loves him but he's really got to leave.

"Howard told Artie to just go into the green room and they'll talk later. He said that he wasn't looking for that kind of fight. He said that he didn't know it was going to escalate to that. He said that he likes airing dirty laundry but doesn't want to push people to that.

"Howard said that he can't have Artie in there if he's going to put other people in danger. He said it was depressing. Benjy asked if he was still going to use his ticket to Amsterdam. Howard didn't want him joking about that. He said this was really serious.

"Howard said he was speechless. Robin said that it wasn't fun or funny."

Perhaps Lange should keep at the forefront of his consciousness two words: Jackie Martling. Long Island is a lonely and unforgiving landscape for washed-up former Stern Show members. More here.

Update: There are already over 140 comments on the Long Island Newsday -- many Stern listeners are from there -- website.

UPDATE: Audio from Lange quitting HERE.

New posts from The Corsair HERE.