Monday, September 10, 2007

Sarah Silverman on Britney

Basically, with the possible exception of the scathing comments involving Britney's kids, we absolutely absolutely with everything Sarah Silverman said last night. From E! Entertainment (minus the comments involving the kids):

"This is so exciting. Was that incredible? Britney Spears, everyone. Wow, she is amazing. I mean, she is 25 years old, and she has already accomplished everything she’s going to accomplish in her life. It’s mind-blowing.

"And she’s so grown up, she’s a mother. It’s crazy. It’s weird to think that just a few years ago on this very show, she was a sweet, innocent girl in slutty clothes writhing around with a python. No, that’s not nice calling Madonna a python.

"Wow, look at all the big stars here tonight. This is amazing. Paris, no Paris jokes tonight. I’m over that, I miss us. It’d be lame. And let me tell you something else. If you had any idea how much I misused all of my orifices in my early twenties, you would realize it was really the pot calling the kettle whorish, or whatever. That was not cool, at all.

"Wow, this is awesome. Hey, wow. I can’t believe this—50 Cent is here. Can I just say, I think it is so cute that he is still alive. I love that."

Granted, Spears -- if she were corpore sano compos mentis -- would have smelled a set-up the minute MTV decided to follow-up her performance with that of the ungovernable Silverman. An in-control Britney would have gone the demure route, stately, classic, elegant, thereby defanging Silverman and robbing her of an all-too-easy target.

But Britney is far from "in control" with regards to decisions on her image.

That having been said, Spears needs to take her money, her kids and commit to a two-year vacation to someplace warm and teeming with solid yoga instructors and an organic diet. Seriously. Find yourself, Britney; being a child star is a terrible thing; now is "you" time.

Britney, to be sure, needs to invent a new, serious motherly persona. That scantily-clad, come-hither look perpetrated at the ripe old age of 25, after a globally-watched nervous breakdown, well-chronicled drug abuse, two failed marriages and umpteen children is not a good look (Unless one is trying to be alluring to a predator or porn-producer attuned to the frequencies of a woman with a fucked up childhood).

Perhaps this is a good time to have a serious national conversation on the disgustingness of "child stars" and the pathetic creatures who pimp their own children out to fulfil their own thwarted ambitions at the cost of a well-adjusted transition into adulthood?

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