This Jack Nicholson Mess



(image via laggoune)

Eew. The belated reports on what actually happened at Jack Nicholson's birthday party -- which happened in April at his Mulholland Drive manse -- are trickling out -- Eew -- and they are really kind of creeping us the fuck out. We're not kidding. Yes, we have seen or hears everything under the sun -- but not from 70 year old men. The creepy laughter is still echoing in our domes .. From DailyMail:

"As we saw this week, Jack Nicholson's piled on the pounds. But even at 70, he's still seducing waitresses and chasing starlets (not to mention trying his luckwith an outraged Nicole Kidman)

"Given his advancing years, Jack Nicholson's landmark 70th birthday celebrations were, by his own famously hard-partying standards, a subdued affair.

"A select list of a mere 600 of his closest celebrity friends were on hand to sip 1,000 bottles of Cristal champagne served by 70 scantily-attired waitresses - one for every licentious year of his life.

"...According to those present, his friends were treated to non-stop bursts of his maniacal laughter, interspersed with deep rumbles of satisfaction that were so debauched they would surely have fallen victim to the censor had they appeared in one of his films."

Okay, a pause for the cause. Alright. Let's run through that again in slo-mo case someone out there reading isn't shivering in the foetal position rocking back and forth praying for their Mama: ".. non-stop bursts of his maniacal laughter, interspersed with deep rumbles of satisfaction that were so debauched .." The prosecution, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, rests it's case. But No.. there's MORE:

"It could not have made pleasant listening, one suspects, for two of his most notable exes, actresses Anjelica Huston and Lara Flynn Boyle, who were also invited to the festivities in April, a few days after his birthday."

Oh, that's so creepy (Almost as creepy as the fact that Lara Flynn Boyle used to call David Spade "peanut")... And, finally:

"... With age, however, Jack has had to get used to having his advances spurned.

"Last year, he issued an apology to Nicole Kidman for making a pass at her when they appeared together for photographers at the Oscars, despite the fact she was there with her husband-tobe Keith Urban - although he refused to say what he used as a chat-up line which was said to have elicited a gasp of shock from the Moulin Rouge actress.

"He admits: 'I'm still playing the field a little, though not nearly as much as some people think.'"

Ya think? (DailyMail)