Resolved: Let's All Stop Copying Brangelina



The cool crowd (via theage)

Sometimes it seems -- in New York at least -- as if we are back in the go-go 80s. The art scene is back and popping; leveraged buy outs prevail; all the Old Key Players -- Trump, Kravis, Murdoch, Mosbacher, &c -- are still causing boldfaced white mischief (Averted Gaze). The only diff now is that the editors at Spy have taken a loyalty oath of Spaniel-like fidelity to the Establishment they once skewered with exquisite wit (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment); their cause is now taken up by bloggers like, well, moi. And, as E. Graydon Carter reminds us in that educated Canadian I-Wish-I-Were-a-WASP voice, we -- bloggers -- haven't got the Spy "voice" right.

And, how could we? Graydon's voice, that yearning-after an Eastern Seaboard accent is un-imitable. It's heartbreakingly unique in it's Sir Edmund Hillary feat of social mountaineering.

Still, if Spy Magazine is dead, Spy High persists. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are, respectively, the Football team quarterback -- "Our Fearless Leader!" -- and Head Cheerleader to our gossip-loving impotent masses. And, of course, we like to emulate them.

Madonna (She's not the School Slut: We prefer to call he "Charitable"), for instance, tried to emulate their adopting of an African baby, to disasterous results. Biter. Of late, though, we are all copying Braddie's excuse for not settling down and getting married. From the Old Gray Lady:

"'I usually explain that I wouldn’t go to a lunch counter that wouldn’t allow people of color to eat there, so why would I support an institution that won’t allow everyone to take part,' said Ms. White, 24, a law student at the University of California, Davis. 'Sometimes people don’t buy that analogy.'

"Whether it makes sense or not, some heterosexual couples, mostly in their in 20s and 30s, are protesting the inability of gay and lesbian couples to marry by putting off their own marriage. Unless wedded bliss is available to everyone, in every state, they say, they want no part of it.

"These couples have gone mostly unnoticed (except by parents waiting to send out wedding announcements). Then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie took up the cause. In an Esquire article in October called '(My List) 15 Things I Think Everyone Should Know,' Mr. Pitt writes, 'Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able.'"

Resolved: That was clever when Brad said it. But now class, let's all reach into our own witty spaces, and live our lives without constant reference to our Homecoming King and Queen? All this emulation leaves me limper than Paris Hilton's golden retreiver weave.

Basta.