Fed Ex, Manchild, Rebuffed



(image via portlandmercury)

K-Fed made fisheyes at LiLo, as you may have already heard. From TheBosh:

"Us says that Kevin sent Lindsay a text reading, 'We should hang out' on December 22. Lindsay then responded to her admirer with the insulting message, 'Why would I hang out with you?' Kevin didn't react well to the rejection and invoked a little Brandon Davis gusto. He sent Lindsay a text calling her a 'firecrotch.'"

Stay Classy, K-Fed; always keep the classy. Seriously though, what in the name of fuckwittage would Lindsay Lohan, who arguably is an A-list actress, with decent work in Altman's valedictory "Prairie Home Companion," and critically lauded "Bobby" behind her, want with, well, you. In some precincts -- "country" precincts -- having several children by two different women, a dessicated hip-hop career (papazao), and no decent financial prospects other than impending "Manimony" might be swell and lovely. But those precincts aren't precincts that Lindsay Lohan frequents, dig? Why would she even want to be ensorcelled in your hyperfertility? For all we know, considering the volatility of K-Fed's seed, Lindsay might be pregnant from just replying to the text (The Corsair shudders).

"A friend of Lindsay's told the magazine, 'She was totally grossed out. She thought it was hilarious…She couldn't believe he was so pathetic. She doesn't want him using her to make Britney jealous.'"

Lindsay Lohan, on the road to recovery (And, quite possibly giving ScarJo -- Lindsay's arch-nemesis -- a run for her money)