Monday, October 31, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out


(image via tomgpalmer via newsweek)

In: Steve Jobs, Apple CEO. Of course Steve Jobs is half-Syrian, peeps -- cause Steve Jobs is the bomb!! (Forgive us? Really, forgive us: We are Ugandan-born and can truly appreciate the exquisite surreality of a crisp dictatorship joke)

But we digress. According to Staci Kramer of PaidContent:

"Maybe, just maybe, there's a business in portable video after all. If Steve Jobs had listened to, well, last year's Steve Jobs, he wouldn't be able to announce that Apple's U.S. iTunes store has delivered more than 1 million video downloads since the Oct. 12 debut of the video iPod. Jobs via press release: 'Selling one million videos in less than 20 days strongly suggests there is a market for legal video downloads. Our next challenge is to broaden our content offerings, so that customers can enjoy watching more videos on their computers and new iPods.'"

(image via

Out: Eva Longoria's "Love Branding." Overpublicized media tart Eva Longoria informs us -- she is always informing us -- this time, via the 3AM Girls, that, well, she's "love-branded," not unlike a calf -- but, then, what a capital calf she is:

"DESPERATE Housewives hottie Eva Longoria is so dedicated to basketball-player boyfriend Tony Parker that she's had his initials tattooed on an, um, intimate part of her body.

"'You can see three of my tatts, they're all on public display, but the one that has Tony's initials is only seen by him,' confesses the 30-year-old.

"'I'm not saying where it is - but let's just say he gets to view it on a very regular basis!'"

Like your name in the press. Thanks for sharing, Eva. Really. (Averted Gaze)


CBS' rheumy eye? (image via pbs)

In: "Ask Andy." Although our obsessive blog-love of the whole Vaughn Ververs-Larry Kramer CBS Eye Blog enterprise is unnatural (though no more unnatural than urinal pissing matches at Black Rock), and, as a result thus far completely unrequited, we blog on, commenting, relentlessly, on their site in the vain hopes that -- someday -- they will see that my blog-love is pure, if fevered ... and need not be protected by a 20-foot restraining order. (Call me, Larry?)

Today, they commend us to "Ask Andy Rooney" in the Ten-Plus-One question session. Goody. We have so many questions for the loveable, Methuselan 60-Minutes commentator, such as:

-What was your man-on-the-street reaction to that whole Industrial Revolution motherjazz business, huh Andy?

-Was the advent of the electric car and the historical exit of the horse-drawn carriage greeted -- in your firsthand observation -- with shock and baited breath?

-How did the citizenry promote general wellness before the Pasteurization process and the process of vaccinations were invented, huh Andy?

'Cause enquiring minds want to know, Andy; (sotto voce) enquiring minds want to know. More CBSEye here.


(image via

Out: Jay Leno. Call us rabidly East Coast, but when we are home and semi-sober in the wee-hours hours of the night (Not bloody often, quite frankly), we prefer David Letterman to Jay Leno. Hands down. Leno is entirely without edge. When he's not nestled snugly in an office-supply closet spying up some tasty intel on the state of his future employment (Averted Gaze), creepy, skunk-haired Late Night punk-ass host Jay Leno makes his way to NY to read from his crappy children's book. ("Stealing an old friend's dream latenight show gig is a virtue, kiddies ..") According to our favorite gossip superhero duo, Rush and Molloy:

"Johnny Carson's heir surely knows his first rule: Never get too serious �? even when the next governor of California is declaring his candidacy.

"To those who think his questions are all softballs, he says, 'I'm not a hardball guy. I'm a comedian. It's not what we do.

"'Turn to 'Nightline' -- there is an excellent program opposite me that will have the hard answers for you. That's not my job.'" Nice.

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(image via usnews)

In: The Gang of 14's Green Light. The ascension of Samuel Alito as a Bush nominee to the High Court raises the political importance of the soi-dissant Gang of 14, but, more particularly, the 7 Republicans within the group (Assuming, of course, that Democrats remain united and force a filibuster to keep O'Connor on the Court at least through January) and how Alito handles the Abortion question. Will pro-choice Republican Moderates -- like Olympia Snowe, Lincoln Chaffee (Facing a white-knuckle primary battle against conservative Cranston, RI mayor Stephen Laffey) and Susan Collins -- support Alito? The Democrats -- if united -- will only need 5 defections; could those be Moderates? Will the Democrats avail themselves of the filibuster? And, if so, does that result in the rearming of the "nuclear option."?

Everything depends on the Gang of 14 and, more importantly, the Republican moderates, like the stately John Warner, from Virginia foxhunting country. How will they decide Alito stands on abortion.

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