A Little of the Old In and Out

(image via Greysquirrel.net)

In: John McCain, 2008. The Good Senator is finally saying out loud what we've already predicted (okay, so our "prediction" that the Liberal-Democrats would beat out the Conservatives in the UK for the second party slot, entirely unfounded and against the polls, was a tad off). According to Washington Times' Inside Politics (link via Wonkette):

"Sen. John McCain says that he 'absolutely' wants to be president and that he is qualified for the job, but that he is focused on his Senate duties and will 'wait a couple of years' to decide about a White House bid in 2008, the Arizona Republic reports, citing an interview in the June issue of Men's Journal magazine.

"'I have the luxury of being able to wait because I don't have to lay any of the groundwork. I don't have to go meet all of the state party chairmen -- I've done that before,' Mr. McCain, 68, told the magazine, which reaches newsstands today."

The Corsair salivates, closet political geek that he is, at the prospect of a bloody Tancredo-Frist-McCain primary, focusing on Southwestern immigration. And, parallel to that, a brutal Clinton-Bayh-Richardson-Kerry slugfest.

"He said Republican conservatives have become 'more accepting of me than they used to be -- not accepting but more accepting -- because of the fact that I worked hard for Bush's re-election.'"

"As for potential rivals in 2008, Mr. McCain said his friend Sen. John Kerry, Massachusetts Democrat, should try to curb his desire to run for the job at least for now.

"'It's pretty obvious, the way he's acting, he'd like to try it again,' Mr. McCain said. 'I'd advise him to be the best senator he could be and put those ambitions aside for a while.'"

Yes, like until the next Ice Age. Or, when Vanity Fair runs an African-American on the cover. Whichever comes first.

Out: Flavio, The Man, The Mantan. This is what it sounds like ... when the skanks collide (Melodic wooden instruments play). According to the 3AM Girls:

"IT'S that time of year again - Naomi Campbell has rekindled her on-off passion for the multi-millionaire Flavio Briatore."

Above: Briatore, supermodel magnet (via Vogue)

The Corsair emits a languid, questioning sigh.

"And to seal their love, the Italian is throwing her a 35th birthday party aboard his yacht in Cannes this Friday."

"Last spring we revealed that stroppy supermodel Naomi had reignited her romance with her Formula One ex-boyfriend - who she first split from in 2001 - after they were spotted snogging in Pangaea nightclub, London."

Yes, but "snogging" is just Naomi's way of saying "hello;" just as fathering illigitimate babies is Flavio's way of saying thank you. Two great tastes that go great together.

"... She and Flavio broke up soon after and Naomi dated 26-year-old US superstar Usher for three months. By March, she had fallen for 24-year-old Brazilian sex symbol Sergio Marone. But last month she found herself back in the arms of 54-year-old Briatore."

"Our source tells 3am: 'Naomi usually celebrates her birthday with a massive bash in St Tropez. Last year there were 850 guests but the birthday girl didn't even show up until after dinner. She was with the American actor Adrien Brody who she was dating then. But since getting back with Flavio, he told her that he'd sort out her party. It'll be more intimate this year with guests like Kevin Spacey who will be at the nearby Cannes Film Festival.'

"... Permatanned Flavio fathered a child with Heidi Klum after he split from Naomi in 2001. But he dumped Heidi in 2003, three months before she gave birth to daughter Leni."

After splitting from Naomi last year, Flavio was spotted with model Kat Mack, Jimmy Choo boss Tamara Mellon (since linked with singer Robbie Williams) and 24-year-old Liverpool-born model Marie Donohoe. Phew!"

The just-punched-in-the-stomach "phew!" sound emitted by the 3AM Girls was not so much one of exhaustion after the recounting a long list, but rather it is the explosion accompanying the catching of an inadvertent whiff of Flavio Briatore's skank fumes. Phew!

Above: Il Maestro with Jason Binn (image via southbeach-usa)

In: The Jason Binn World Domination Tour (TM). At what point does a mini-mogul become The Mogul, and has Jason Binn just crossed that Rubicon? Last summer, Jason Binn was sporting ambulance driver manque David Lee Roth around, like a bandanna on the knee, in the process of conquering Aspen. That done, Binn is presently set for world conquest, moving on to DC. According to Page Six:

"THAT Jason Binn has snagged Anne Schroeder away from the Washington Post to be executive editor of his new Capitol File magazine, which joins his other magazines: Gotham, Hamptons, Los Angeles Confidential, Boston Commonwealth and Aspen Peak."

Out: "Pork Wings." The Corsair ... does not eat "swine." We eschew ... the other white meat. In legislation and in our choice of la viande, The Corsair readily abstains. That having been said, What could be worse than a "pitchman" for pig? According to Page Six:

"IF PIGS could fly, Michael Strahan wouldn't be peddling 'pork wings,' the signature dish of his new line of porcine products, Michael Strahan Master Grill Foods. 'You hold it just like a chicken wing, but it's a lot bigger,' says the Giants sack king. 'It gives you a greater amount of meat. It's tasty. It's great for tailgating and barbecuing.' Strahan is also hawking pre-cooked St. Louis-style ribs and something called 'dinner bacon.' 'I call it bacon steak,' he said. 'It's a very thick cut. You don't need eggs with it. This is truly a meal.'"

A considerable pause.

"Strahan isn't concerned that his oinking edibles might turn off health-conscious shoppers: 'So long as you exercise, you should be able to eat whatever you want.' Looks like the grid star's indulgent attitude extends to his love life. Yesterday, The Post exclusively reported how Strahan flew in his alleged mistress, curvy Canadian Nicole D' Oliveira, while his wife, Jean, was stuck at home with their two infant daughters on Mother's Day."

We will refrain from any mention of "Canadian Back Bacon," or "Sausage Banger Rolls." That is so very beneath us.

In: Christina Applegate (image via NYPost). Sure, we harshed on "The Little White Haired Girl" from Married ... with Children something vicious (The Corsair snaps) ... "vicious," when we heard she was going to dance on a barely healed busted foot. We questioned her sanity; we tried to break her and we are glad we failed. The Corsair has fractured a toe, and we certainly would not have danced on it after a scant 5 weeks. She did; and now Applegate is a Tony nominee. Christina Applegate can do anything she sets her sights on. Er, or she's really exacerbating that foot injury. We are really pulling for the former and not the latter (Good luck on the Tony, you sweetest thing; via gawker).

Above: Frustrated, deathless entertainment industry vampire Q Delight Jones searches for a single untapped vain on Kimberly Hefner's body. His efforts will come to naught. "Hef" ... got there first. (image via Fashionweekdaily)

Out: Quincy "Delight" Jones. How ghetto is it to have your middle name be "Delight"? 57 years in the business, and he can still make us laugh, though. Although we are not sure Q's blog on the HuffingtonReport was meant to be funny. Right before he becomes, as usual, spiritually incoherent, he forever creeps out our memory of him as mentor/advisor to the young Michael Jackson in 1984, when he won all those Grammy Awards:

"Caught a little of the Elvis movie on TV. The kid from Dublin playing him was good; had the moves down.It got me to thinking about fame and massive success and about how some people can handle it -- and how for others it can be the most destructive thing in the world.

"It got me to thinking about Michael -- and how difficult it is to watch what's going on with him now.When we made 'Thriller,' he was the most beautiful person in the world. Just a beautiful little brother."

An uncomfortable silence. A meaningful pause. Hmm. Should The Corsair put on some soft, haunting rondino by Rameau and light some romantic saffron-scented candles, Q? Are you having a Michael Jackson "moment"?

In: La Dolce Musto. As always, we love La Dolce Musto; but we never love him more than when he just wrestles the deepest darkest secrets from his subjects, leaving them broken, writhing husks rolling around in the fetal position, like in this interview with Bai Ling:

"... The slow-blooming good-time gal learned the raunchy ropes the hard way. At 14, she joined the PLA, where, craftily enough, she'd loiter around the men's quarters --wouldn't you? --trying to grab a peek or a listen. But did she actually have, you know, sexual c-o-n-g-r-e-s-s? 'Of course!' she exclaimed. 'Many of them! Something when it's forbidden, it's human nature that you really want to do it.' (I know, Blanche, I know.)

"And did the frisky little soldier get down in the trenches, as it were, with the ladies too? 'Yes,' she blurted. 'Because we all live together! We all wash naked in front of each other. The leader's wife takes a bath first in a swimming pool. After that you can imagine how dirty that water is. I was a new soldier, so they asked me to undress first. They would tease me and push me inside the water. And then everyone jumps in. It was disgusting when I think about it.' Hmm, sounds hot! (Ed Note: The Corsair will cosign on that, Musto) Actually, I was utterly bewildered, but the bi Ling got me back on track by explaining, 'We developed friendship. For us to sleep in the same bed holding hands is a normal thing.'

"And that wasn't the end of the fabulous debauchery, honey. 'I was a little alcoholic in the army,' she confessed, giggling. 'It tasted like a sweet wine. I wrote an apologizing letter. I'm always apologizing.'"

Hey, bi Bai: (The Corsair moistens his lips lasciviously) Y'want some ... (Slow, seductive walk) "sweet wine"?

Out: Jocelyn Wildenstein. Enough said.