The Chappelle Mystery, Continued



(image via dga.org)

It only gets stranger. And what -- you ask -- can be stranger than the funniest man in the world entering a South African sanitarium? According to The LATimes (link via Drudgie Poo):

"Late last month, comic Dave Chappelle called his bosses at the Viacom Inc.-owned cable network Comedy Central with some distressing news. He had suddenly decided to quit 'Chappelle's Show,' the enormously popular sketch series that has made him a $50-million star and a household name among young fans of his outrageous spoofs and impersonations. The reasons were murky, and network President Doug Herzog stayed on the line for a long time, working hard to turn his star around."

The Corsair has a --wink, wink -- transcript of the conversation:

Doug Herzog (Answering line): Hello, Dave. (Kissing Ass a la Hollywood) You honor me. What can I do for the star of this network.

Dave Chappelle (Pfft!): Dougie Fresh, yes, about this whole $50 million deal -- I, I just don't think it will work out. I'm sorry.

Doug Herzog (Astonished at Losing the Top Dog): Dave .. What is this about? Do you want to negotiate more of the revenues from the DVD sales? That can be put back on the table. Talk to me, Dave. What? How can I make you change your mind?

Dave Chappelle: Hold on a second, Doug (The Sound of water churning; a deep intake of air --blissful silence -- then, violent, tumultuous coughs). Oh, yeah -- that was a good one. Who is this on the phone, again? Why are you calling me! Is this the CIA! Get out of the tinfoil!

Doug Herzog (In a Nervous, Ingratiating Hollywood Tone): Doug Herzog, the President of Comedy Central, Dave. Your friend. Homeslice. Your boy. The man who is making you rich and powerful and --

DC (Incredulous, into the receiver): Is this the voice of The Great Tempter? (Pfffft) The Spirit "Humwawa"? "Puzuzu," is that you? Momma always said you'd be coming for me. Aint this the shit. Hey! This sounds like the voice of ... Hollywood Corruption. -- Of The ... Boulevard of Broken Dreams; Midwestern cheerleaders. -- And soiled casting couches and broken assistants. (Emotionally, Spraying Hot Tears) Hollywood?! Are you there? "Jojo Dancer," your life is calling!
DH: It's. uh, Doug Herzog, of Comedy ...

DC (Manic Mood Change): Oh, hi Doug. Swell and lovely. Thanks for calling. Nice to hear your soothing voice. I was just thinking to myself here. See, riches ... (Trails off)

DH (Concerned): Dave, are you still there? Maybe we should get you some help.

DC (Stunned) Ah yes ... Where was I (Pfft) ?

DH (Growing Frustrated, But Taking Control): Riches, Dave, I ...

DC (Energetic) Yes! Riches! Rubies and Dubloons and Drachma and stuff. Who needs them, Doug. Does anybody ever take them with them to, like, Heaven and stuff? Who needs power and riches when you can just "walk the earth." I want to "loaf," Doug Herzog, loaf like that misunderstood cat in Somerset Maugham's "Razor's Edge." Get into adventures and shit.

DH: Dave, Have you been doing bong hits naked while watching Pulp Fiction again?

DC (Suspicious) How did you know that? Has ... has ... Comedy Central rigged up camera's in my crib? What is this ... some kind of Comedy Punk'd? Is this a camera in my bong? You went all up in my bitch like that, Doug? I'm Dave Chappelle, bitch! Where's Ashton Kutcher?! (The sound of furniture being tossed around). I'll murder his little test-tube-baby ass!

"... Days later, Chappelle relented and said he'd stay after all, according to two sources familiar with the situation."

Dave Chappelle (Recorded message after the beep): Hahaha. Woo! Hi, Doug. Dave Chappelle. $50 million man. Whew. Kinda wild, there -- haha. About that conversation a few days ago? I don't remember the details; don't want to. I don't know why my sofa and tv are floating in the pool. But, all systems are go for the show. My heads screwed on straight now. I can come correct on this.

"But then matters unraveled entirely. Chappelle, who failed to report to work April 29, fled to South Africa and mysteriously cut off contact at least temporarily with some of his family members and closest advisors, according to sources inside Comedy Central and close to Chappelle. The following week, the network announced that the third-season premiere of its No. 2 show (after 'South Park') would be postponed indefinitely."

Tragic-comedy Central?

"'It's crushing on a lot of levels,' Herzog said in a phone interview Friday. 'There's no question about it, he was the hottest thing on the network?. It's tough to lose your big power hitter like that.' Clearly, Chappelle's disappearing act comes at a bad time for Comedy Central, which has been piling up record ratings and counting on fresh Chappelle episodes to help launch a full slate of new programs this summer. Now, executives can't say when ? or even if ? 'Chappelle's Show' will return. The 31-year-old Chappelle, like many performers, has been known to reschedule tapings at the last minute and engage in other unpredictable behavior, Herzog said. But his abrupt and unexplained departure left virtually everyone close to the comic baffled.

"'He's never just dropped off the face of the planet like this,' Herzog said.

More here