Friday, November 28, 2003

Janice Dickinson: Sexing the Stars

No, dear readers: The Corsair is not way behind the curve on this one; he is fully aware that Janice Dickinson's smouldering autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty has been out for a while -- but since the holidays -- the slow days -- are here: let's recap the juicy bits.

Before we begin, The Corsair ran into Dickinson midtown two summers ago. She is very beautiful in a scary, dark and highly aggressive older woman way. The Corsair checked out her, uhm, assets, as she passed, and, within moments, Dickinson turned as well and returned and met this noble chronicler with a ferocious stare. This woman is not to be trifled with! Grrr...

So, briefly, here is what we learn. Bill Cosby flies a fluffy supermodel out to Vegas to open up for him as a singer (yes, that is sketchy). The married Cosby comes to her room and hits on her -- she turns him down -- and he yells at her saying, angrily: "After all I've done for you, that's what I get?"

Dickinson renders Warren Beatty in the sad reflection of the mirror of his vanity. Trapped in the reflection, Beatty stares at himself; plays with his hair -- for an hour or so -- after coitus with Dickinson (He's so vain; I bet he thinks this blog is about him):

"I woke up a few hours later, at around three in the morning, Warren wasn't in bed. I looked across the room and found him admiring himself in the mirror.

"'What are you doing,' I asked in a sleepy voice.'

"'Nothing,' he said, but he couldn't take his eyes off himself. He ran his hands through his hair, staring at his own reflection in the mirror, . I went back to sleep, in the morning, when I woke up, he was standing there again, playing with his hair, mussing it; trying to get it just right -- going for that just-been-fucked look. I guess he thought he was pretty too."

Helmut Newton approached her at a pool one time and asked her to "take off her clothes." To which she responded, "fuck you, you dirty old perv."

Calvin Klein fires her for taking Qualudes before a fashion show, saying, "you will never work with me again, Janice, you have my solemn promise on that."

Janice slept (if that is the right word) with Mick Jagger all night long: " The man was indefatigable ... He was pure energy -- kind of spooky., to tell you the truth. I woke up the next morning feeling like I'd been through a war."

Sylvester Stallone, who Janice has sex with, likes to refer to the act as "bam ham slam" thinking -- sadly -- that this is witty.

If you never got the book, it makes for a great Christmas present.

If this is old news, hey, just remember, good gossip is forever.

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