Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Top Ten Reasons Why Governor Sanford Was In Argentina For Father's Day

South Carolina governor Mark Sanford was having a bit of an existential crisis over not taking federal government stimulus money. That little episode of fear and trembling led, naturally, to an exotic sojourn to Buenos Aires, which, a propos of nothing, means "good airs."

The Governor was going to walk the Appalachian Trail on, we cannot fail to note, naked hiking day, "but I said 'no' I wanted to do something exotic," Sanford said. "... It's a great city." Besides, everyone knows that the naked in Buenos Aires are significantly more attractive than the naked in Appalachia. Still, ditching the wife and kids on Father's Day when you are in the so-called "Party of Family Values" is a little tricky. Here are the top ten political excuses that this blogger has come up with to help the Governor fend of people who've got it twisted:

10 - The Governor was going through an acute Tango-high withdrawal.

9 - On the Appalachian Trail all paths lead to Buenos Aires.

8 - Because he's South Carolina's Governor Mark Sanford: International Man of Mystery

7 - He could tell you, but then he'd have to kill you.

6- The Governor of South Carolina was trippin.

5- Would you walk the Appalachian Trail when you could visit "Miss Reef Bikini" in Buenos Aires?

4 - The Appalachian Trail reminded him too much of the love scene in Deliverance.

3 - The first rule of Tango Club is you do not talk about Tango Club.

2 - Fabulous wine, naturally reared grass-fed Argentine beef and -- last but not least -- captivating natural assets.

1 - The Governor regrets ditching the wife and kids on Father's Day because of a previous tango commitment.

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